electroBeam

Warm Approach Is A Sham!

17 posts in this topic

I'm not sure whether I'm just retarded, or too shy or friendish when it comes to dating women, but warm approach is an absolute fraud.

Firstly, when friends choose certain women to go socializing with, they usually choose attractive, taken women, or women who are either neurotic or unattractive enough, that they would be willing to hang out eith my retarded friends anyway, but are not attractive enough to date.

Secondly, even if you do manage to find a friend of a friend who is quite delicious looking, and has a cute, cuddly personality, friends make it awkward as hell to approach her, because they expect you to just be friends with this person. 

Thirdly, you just dont find enough women to socialize with, if you choose to rely on your friends. You probably would meet around 3 or 4 women every 2 years who are date worthy material?

Now if you choose cold approach, not only do the amount of women you could probably date increases by 100 fold, you also increase your social circle by 100 fold too. Its like a chain reaction, date worthy girls who friend zone you, generate new interactions with their hot friends, who you can also ask out! How awesome!

Plus you dont even have to pay to get into a club, or a movie ticket, like what you have to do in social events, all you have to do is awkwardly walk up to someone, and nervously start talking to them.

I personally suck at cold approach, but it is such a superior way of meeting new women to date (and increasing your social circle) compared to warm approach. Unless you have 200 friends, and somehow maintain a decent friendship with all of them, warm approach just doesnt cut it.

Any of you agree? Warm approach gets me absolutely no where. To be completely honest, 80% of the reason why i go to social events is to meet new women, and im left completely disappointed everytime, feeling like i would have been better off approaching the cute girl at the mall and screwing the time taken to go to the social event in the first place. 

Unless the friends you have are girls, or pickup people, or gay guys, there's no point in going to 80% of the social events you're invited to. Its just a waste. Ive spent the last 2 years going to parties every 3rd weekend, and social events every other weekend, in hope to increase my dating opportunities, and its done absolutely 0. No exaggerations.

Do you guys agree, or is there a secret to warm approach that I dont know?

Edited by electroBeam

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Yeah, stop being shallow.

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2 minutes ago, Annetta said:

Yeah, stop being shallow.

You can't drown in shallow water.

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@electroBeam Oh don't get me started Just those 2 words alone ''social events'' make me feel annoyed just the word social is so tainted already, nothing social happens in clubs far as i am concerned.

But do whatever it takes internet,cold approach,social events but then maybe drunk so u are able to cope just do anything whatever it takes i think.

But don't think you are somehow autistic or retarded or antisocial if u cannot really naturally thrive in these situations that is society's bullshit and smart people can feel dumb because of it.

So in these situations u gotto trick your own mind, u have to convince yourself that the banal shit you do is fun and productive and of course ''social''because no matter how observant or smart u are u still need human connection, alcohol works, warming up works and don't take anything seriously what people say in these settings absolutely nothing, anything goes, manipulate where u can it doesn't matter, lower your bar as low as u can for the night and abuse their emotional states to the full because they don't matter its all fleeting ( please take it with a grain of salt what i say ) and the next day u can be a normal human being again.

Now the difference is when you are slightly intelligent you are fully conscious of what u do, lots of people however are not but they do just exactly the same thing i have just described unconsciously and knowing that lots of people have a very limited conscious allow you to not care that much either.

This is my subjective experience and i know i am generalizing so again take it with a grain of salt maybe u meet an intelligent worthwhile person and then all those things don't matter anymore because u hit the jackpot that would be nice.

Don't feel guilty or anything, u deep down know what u want friends,family, a loving relationship in every way and meaningful work but society burdens u with banal social expectations,clubs and endless little realities hidden from plain sight noone tells you about because they don't care.

So to conclude try anything absolutely anything and trial and error will do the rest.

I hope this is not to far off the mark here these are my feeling about it all and was in the mood for some angry writing. :) 

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@Steph1988 You're right steph, but don't you find social events absolutely unfulfilling?

You can trick your mind alright, but after a while, doesn't your mind tell you you've had enough?

I may be autistic, but I find socializing absolutely unfulfilling. And there's a point where your mind feels so unauthentic, and so out of alignment with what you should be doing, that you just can't handle doing anymore of it. Its like watching a bad movie for the 200th time. Its just pointless. 

 

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@electroBeam Yes and soon as i see no more potential in the event i just go home take your chances or go.

a few things that worked for me.

- Be your own self in these situations as well no matter if u piss people off make no concessions.

- Go into it with a feeling that it will be total shit then it can only get better

- Get drunk but not too drunk use alcohol in a deliberate way and even better if u can pump up your own state without it but with the aid of brainwashing techniques. 

- Break some social rules for fun make it a bit anarchistic don't go to far but walk the fine line.

This serves to make it more fun.  

It is very hard and it improved for me over the years but it takes such a long time so don't get discouraged.

Edited by Steph1988

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@Flare so how do you find all of these women you're talking about from your social circle? Where are they? Because what usually happens is you have a bunch of friends (say 6 or 7) and they usually hang out together and not invite any other friends because the social group is already established.

Im not sure who your friends with, but people don't usually invite different friends after every social outing. They invite the old friends they already have.

 

And yeah not being a taker is great and all... for people who do miraculously have friends who bring in 10 new people every social outing... which is definitely not the majority of the population.

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Why not trying to be friend with women ?

You know they are going to present you their single friends, don't you ?

@electroBeam Even if everything fails, you would still be able to learn how to be more comfortable and how to talk to women this way.

 

Edited by Shin

God is love

Whoever lives in love lives in God

And God in them

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@Flare

This question isn't about attitude, its about logistics. 

It is simply a matter of physicality, that social circles dont bring in enoigh women. This is a physical reality. No amount of law of attraction is going to magically make women pop infront of you.

Its frustrating when someone tells you its all about some attitude, when the problem involves something very physical.

Don't have a taker mindset? Been there, done that. Im apart of a charity, i know all about that. 

Organize events? Do that all the time. New friends do come in, at a very slow rate. Infact 9/10 times, the people you invite to social events dont being new friends.

What does having a social circle worthy of finding dates look like?

13 minutes ago, Flare said:

@electroBeam Dude, in another topic you talk about becoming the next "Pick Up God" (whatever that means) 

I didn't... and even if i did, can you keep your ego aside for this discussion please? I get that you're offended by my post and you're desperate to tell me, but its just wasting time and making things confusing.

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36 minutes ago, Flare said:

RSDLuke (I personally can't tell you how good his content is tbh) that builds his whole content on social circle game

wow I didn't realize there was content out there on how to do warm game, thanks!

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I went trough RSD Luke's "Social Circle Blueprint" product like 2 months ago mb. I liked it overall, some eye opening stuff in there for sure. I think he said that for him, there are not many clubs to go to even in major cities like NY (but that might have been partly because he has a specific taste in girls). He explains how he befriends the promoters, get's into clubs free(I think he actually wears sweatpants and a jumper often, not that it's mandatory or anything :) , these are high end clubs we're talking about), gets boatloads of free alcohol from those clubs(he said that on any give night, if he'd drink all the alcohol that is give to him, he'd die), befriends the rich guys who go to those clubs etc. His game is not that strong, but it doesn't need to be, any conventional PUA stuff in these environments seems tryhard and is unnecessary and actually counterproductive. He also completely shat on the idea that bringing a big group of even attractive girls to clubs with you will make any difference in terms of getting in yourself, he made sure to drive that point home hard :D. 

Edited by Godex

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When I was single I got really into online dating for a while. I think a lot of people have this narrow-minded prejedic against online dating that is completely irrational. As if there was something "low" or shameful about it. If you want to meet more people this is a superb way to do it tho. 

Using apps like Tinder you can date 2-3 women a week, and eventually meet someone you have great chemestry with. Unlike a setting like a nightclub, you can be alone in a quieter setting like a caffe, meet sober, have her full attention and avoid that awkward dynamic of you being the seller walking up to her trying to prove yourself or keep her interessted. 


INSTEAD OF COMMUNICATING WITH PEOPLE AS IF THEY POSSESSED INTELLIGENCE, TRY USING ABSTRACT SPIRITUAL TERMS THAT CONVEY NO USABLE INFORMATION. :)

My first published essay

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I've had some success with social circle through uni. However, a lot of them aren't of the highest quality that I would necessarily commit to, plus they involved lots of alcohol which I'm not about anymore.  I'd agree with you, if you live in a decently sized city there's more than enough fish in the sea for cold approach. The fact that you're approaching cold automatically conveys higher value than warm approach, cause who the fuck would have the bald to do that?  Plus it grows you more in the long run because it's harder. 

Haven't done much cold approach myself but once I sort out my living situations I'll give it a crack. Have you found you have made decent progress? 

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Yeah I am with Electrobeam on how frustrating it is when someone talks about having a "giver's" mindset to attract people. In fact many successful businessmen and politicians like Trump have always been the epitome of greed. Our new US president is a malignant narcissist who's grandiosity, envy, arrogance, manipulative abilities, sense of entitlement, sense of uniqueness, preoccupation of all types of material success, and lack of real empathy all have no limits. Yet, he underhandedly won enough votes to be elected as the new POTUS.

How about Jordan Belfort who founded his "over the counter" brokerage house, Stratton Oakmont? He was ultimately incarcerated for almost 2 years for having defrauded countless victims who got completely duped by his BS "pump and dump" money schemes. He stoles millions and millions of dollars from so many innocent customers. He also had a hot wife because of his charisma and yet it was still not enough as he cheated on her with hookers. Even after he got released from prison, he became suspect of having concocted another phony money making organization in Australia.

So can Flare or someone like him tell me how extremely egotistical men like the abovementioned sleazballs have attracted by having a "giver's" mindset?

Edited by Hardkill

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Why do you look for girls so much? What's the point? I'd think you'd have to have really good luck to find someone great even cold approaching. Most people are too unconscious to have a great relationship with.

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