Is there a way to get my ex back?

[Princess Arabia]

38 minutes ago, AION said:

@Princess Arabia maybe it is not either / or? I do want her back because I love her and I want her back for myself. 
 

I don’t think men should become altruistic angels for women with no selfish needs. I’m in a bad place and instead of being with me she dumped me. This happens a lot and I think that is why there are so many disgruntled men. Men should become aware of this and not trust women so quickly. 
 

The whole problem is that women can change their position so easily because of their fluctuating emotions. It is nothing women can do about it. It is just in their nature. I never had problems with men in this regard. My hate is just temporary because I got hurt. It a human reaction to being abused by them. I know it is not personal. It is just how they are.  
 

If she was in a bad place because of her childhood my first instinct would be to help her. Not dump her. That is the difference. And that is true love. 

These are all thoughts. Let them go. Start afresh and throw out all those limiting beliefs. The world is just reflecting back to your your beliefs. It's a mirror. Don't try to solve anything because you'll be doing that with the same mindset. Just allow for things to naturally occur and you'll be given the necessary tools and when to act as long as youre not in resistance. Reading your comments all you're doing is throwing temper tantrums because things aren't going your way. See the lessons in them, if there's any and get a step above your egoic mind's tantrums which doesn't know anything but to feed itself some more and to build on it's construct which are all lies. Tell yourself the things you want to see happen and stop focusing on what you don't. It's that simple. You are that powerful. It's all within you.

Edited August 22, 2024 by Princess Arabia

[AION]

@Princess Arabia she was very open about why she left me: I didn’t have enough money. I agree I should let go of beliefs but some things are just beliefs. They are facts. 

And this girl is a sweet heart. A good Christian girl. I never expected a knife stab like that. I don’t know how to trust a girl after this. 

[Princess Arabia]

10 minutes ago, AION said:

@Princess Arabia she was very open about why she left me: I didn’t have enough money. I agree I should let go of beliefs but some things are just beliefs. They are facts. 

And this girl is a sweet heart. A good Christian girl. I never expected a knife stab like that. I don’t know how to trust a girl after this. 

Ok. It takes time and maturity to see through this. Sometimes we have to go through things ourselves for us to learn. We can't be force fed. A lot of stuff I didn't have a clue about either. If it weren't for my willingness to learn, try to understand why people do what they do in a loving way without malice, anger and/or judgements, I would be carrying around baggage too that would only wear me down and tear me apart. It has to be earnt. I damn sure earnt mine because I put in a lot of work to not let my mind rule me and take over. Sometimes when people tell you stuff you can't really take it at face value by itself, but every circumstance is different. Some will put up with shit if other things are in place and they'll overlook certain things. In the end, they'll just say whatever seems easier to say without too much fighting and bickering. Good luck to you. I've said my bit.

You have to change your mind to change your life circumstances and the way you see them. 

Edited August 22, 2024 by Princess Arabia

[Keryo Koffa]

Edited August 22, 2024 by Keryo Koffa

[AION]

I watched Leo’s video on break ups and he is right that the biggest factor of repulsion (opposite of attraction) is neediness. But he doesn’t give any solution how to solve this neediness. 

It is easy to say to a dog to not be thirsty if he didn’t have any water for 1 week. Try to be thirsty yourself for a week and try to not be thirsty. 

I can get other girls but I don’t want them. I want my ex back. I’m thirsty for her. I think I have to change my notion of love. If I fall in love I have this holy unconditional love. And most women’s love is not unconditional but highly conditional. I think I should see the business side of relationships. And not see a girl as the end all be all but just a potential gf. And if she doesn’t or can’t fulfill that position it can be replaced by another girl. That is just the harsh reality of dating nowadays. No real love anymore. 

[Keryo Koffa]

38 minutes ago, AION said:

Leo’s neediness repulsion doesn’t give any solution. I want her. I'm too unconditional. Should I go casual?

Adjust your expectations or tune your selection. People vary, and getting too attached too quickly is a problem.
Reciprocation, transparency, authenticity, and long-term relationships are your core values.
Leo mentions the importance of such values. Maybe you should take it easy and explore the waters.
Before going into the deep sea to fish without any supplies or guarantee that there's something out there and you won't starve.

[museumoftrees]

2 hours ago, AION said:

I watched Leo’s video on break ups and he is right that the biggest factor of repulsion (opposite of attraction) is neediness. But he doesn’t give any solution how to solve this neediness. 

It is easy to say to a dog to not be thirsty if he didn’t have any water for 1 week. Try to be thirsty yourself for a week and try to not be thirsty. 

I can get other girls but I don’t want them. I want my ex back. I’m thirsty for her. I think I have to change my notion of love. If I fall in love I have this holy unconditional love. And most women’s love is not unconditional but highly conditional. I think I should see the business side of relationships. And not see a girl as the end all be all but just a potential gf. And if she doesn’t or can’t fulfill that position it can be replaced by another girl. That is just the harsh reality of dating nowadays. No real love anymore. 

Meeting new girls will also quench your thirst. It's most likely over for good with that person

[Keryo Koffa]

19 minutes ago, museumoftrees said:

Meeting new girls will also quench your thirst. It's most likely over for good with that person

@AION Well, instead of doing step A, why not skip straight to B, or C at this point? D,E,F? Y,Z? Ω

Instead of chasing random girls for random girl's sake, how about you build yourself up?

Instead of building yourself up like every fool, how about you do self-actualization instead?

Instead of the self-actualization trap, how about you go straight for a spiritual journey?

Instead of these all too ubiquitous spiritual paths, how about you follow your authentic passions?

Instead of following this "authentic passion"-paradigm, which is lost in identity, how about you...

And so, why bother slaying the dragons, when you can drink the blood of the gods and rule the...

And why again did you like this girl, when she dumped you like that, clearly Lovecraft did not...

At this point, you must realize your own love loops around, never having come from the girl...

And so you reached your psychic singularity which brought you back to this earthly realm

Guess you really have to heal that part and sit with yourself until reconsidered... 

Edited August 22, 2024 by Keryo Koffa

[AION]

@Keryo Koffa pigs don’t want pearls. She loved my pearls (godly love) in the beginning but her pig instincts quickly kicked in and her pig mother reminded her of earthly pleasures. I mean. She can’t wait for couple of years until I graduate? Yea I don’t have a lot of money right now but I’m not a bum. I’m pissed. And I want to call her again but I don’t want to ruin what is left which is not much anyway. Only thing that is left is a distant acquaintance. 

Edited August 22, 2024 by AION

[NoSelfSelf]

My god she saved herself

[Keryo Koffa]

12 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

My god she saved herself

She managed to reach escape velocity!

[Schizophonia]

23 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

My god she saved herself

Just the pp actually.

[AION]

21 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

My god she saved herself

😒

[shree]

On 21/08/2024 at 2:09 PM, AION said:

I hope she liked who I was. she wojldnt be turned off by lack of game and not being rich. I'm in IT. i will make good money but she needs to have patience. I'm still studying. 

Most women wait at the finish line and chose the winners. I'm so disappointed in women. They are just players. And I disovered I need to be a player. I can't love these profiteers. 

I'm not personally familiar with this situation, so I can't speak in detail, but I trust that your perspective is based on your experiences.

However, I have to disagree with your statement and emphasize that most women are not like that; they are capable of offering genuine and honest relationships. Don't fall into the trap of thinking all women are gold-diggers. There are women who will genuinely respect your hard work and appreciate what you have to offer.

a. You might want to check out the book 'Models' by Mark Manson.

b. Leo has also created two excellent videos on this topic that could be worth watching.

c. Learning to truly love yourself can take you incredibly far.

[EdgeGod900]

If you really want a surface level solution, nothing can really beat social proof. 

Have other girls talking to you or dating you: to make her jealous.

Idk about you, but how social proof changes the behaviour of women was so bizarre to me, that it helped me partially realize the stupid chimp games we play. So  what other people have been saying is the ideal solution.

Edited September 4, 2024 by EdgeGod900

[Lyubov]

4 hours ago, EdgeGod900 said:

If you really want a surface level solution, nothing can really beat social proof. 

Have other girls talking to you or dating you: to make her jealous.

Idk about you, but how social proof changes the behaviour of women was so bizarre to me, that it helped me partially realize the stupid chimp games we play. So  what other people have been saying is the ideal solution.

My ex moved back in with me for a while and found a condom wrapper, cause I was sleeping with another woman, and now my ex is super into me. We are oddly getting along insane well. Partially due to resolving a lot of issues but she seems way more attracted to me. Nothing makes beautiful women notice a guy more than seeing him with other beautiful women. 

[integral]

@Lyubov attraction that functions like this is short lived, status and social proof attraction doesn’t last, it’s also mostly relevant to younger girls who are still drivin mostly my lower brain function.

It’s the equivalent of a Tight mini skirt, it can only keep a bad relation togetter for so long.

Edited September 5, 2024 by integral

[Lyubov]

5 hours ago, integral said:

@Lyubov attraction that functions like this is short lived, status and social proof attraction doesn’t last, it’s also mostly relevant to younger girls who are still drivin mostly my lower brain function.

It’s the equivalent of a Tight mini skirt, it can only keep a bad relation togetter for so long.

Yes I would agree. It’s my ex after all. Not really expecting it to go anywhere. A bit of fun. 

[AION]

On 05/09/2024 at 0:56 AM, EdgeGod900 said:

If you really want a surface level solution, nothing can really beat social proof. 

Have other girls talking to you or dating you: to make her jealous.

Idk about you, but how social proof changes the behaviour of women was so bizarre to me, that it helped me partially realize the stupid chimp games we play. So  what other people have been saying is the ideal solution.

This is what I found out:

It is well known that men think with their dick if they are thirsty. This is our Achilles heel and women can exploit our weakness. 
 

The female equivalent to this is social validation. If you can itch that knob you can get a way with a lot. Girls are a sucker for power. 

They say men want power but this is wrong. We just want pussy. It is women who want power and that is why men want power; to secure that pussy. 

And social power is more powerful than physical power. Although if you are physically strong that might be a plus too. If you are social power your physical strength don’t even matter.