Miguel Oliveira

Am I An Alien? Dificult To Connect With People

29 posts in this topic

Hy people!

Getting to the point. I had OCD since 12 but got worse at 16. I did get many medication, terapists, hipnotherapy.

3 years ago I start to see some light and getting some pain and heavy feelings on the chest.

I follow Leo since more or less the beginning of his YouTube channel and helped me getting a lot of realizations.

Right now and since I get better I have difficulty connecting with people. Since forever I like to talk with stranger make them laugh but recently and looking to the past I never have a "real" deep connection with friends like I see people around me having. When I meet people from my "friends" I start to talk but they not seem engaged at all to talk, they don´t have that feeling to talk with me, they just hear and go away, I can´t keep them interested. I know that can be the words I say but I know intellectualy many let's say "tricks" to have a good conversation but in the end making that things I learn I can´t connect at all.

Even the people I spend the most of my time (I live with guys that I know at almost 10 years and know I´m in college with them) the relationships are shallow, I talk but not exist that deep connection like I see them having with people that literally they spend less time, some less some more, but the deep connection, the friendship, the playfull thigs, the conversations is there but me even spending so many years with them that connection isn´t there.

Since I know some conversation techniques and frameworks for sure that 80% of the "no-connection" is based on the feelings that I´m giving to them, the vibration, let's say, that I put out.

I have some self image problem, for example, when I go out and see successfull people and really other "ordinary" (sorry about the term) people I sense that I can´t and I don´t have a life, like I feel like I´m not like the other people (successfull and not successfull), I feel like I don´t fit on this world, that I´m not a part of the community, that I don´t have a life and life just go by me and I can´t enter the human community.

 

This text got big but I can´t get a video explaining the deep stuff, the vibrational stuff, the "ego" stuff. They just present us with conversation techiniques but don´t get to the root of the problem and if we do that techinques the results can substancially appear but don´t gonna get that deep emotional realization that we are connecting cause the deep "problem" that exists in us wasn´t fixed!!

 

Thanks people!!

Edited by Miguel Oliveira

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@Miguel Oliveira You are not the only one that feels this way. This is a common issue in our society.

I suggest that you stop trying to make this connection, because it's unnatural. 

These kind of connections happen without "trying", they just happen in the right moment. You can't control them

You are just neurotic, as I am, as 99% of this world are. Some more than others.

My advice: meditate at LEAST 45 minutes a day, everyday.

Talk to someone that you trust, open up, don't be afraid of judgements.

Seek a good therapist (psychologist).

 

 

 

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You could even do daily walks in nature, bath in the sun, adopt a healthier diet/lifestyle, focus on the simpler details of life, get into gardening or working with plants and travel as much as you can, find new hobbies ect.. can work just as well as meditation for some that find it really hard to settle down. Nature is like therapy, it is home not a place we visit and when possible walk barefoot on bare-earth, this removes a great deal of draining energy you pickup from modern technology and lifestyles we have today that do not allow us to really connect with ourselves properly so we can ultimately connect with others better, instead we are sort of in a constant state of electro-magnetic bombardment.

These will lead you to finding more people like you seeking similar things as the law of attraction takes place you will help each other.

That's why we are here :)


B R E A T H E

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On 26/04/2017 at 4:04 AM, Miguel Oliveira said:

Hy people!

Getting to the point. I had OCD since 12 but got worse at 16. I did get many medication, terapists, hipnotherapy.

3 years ago I start to see some light and getting some pain and heavy feelings on the chest.

I follow Leo since more or less the beginning of his YouTube channel and helped me getting a lot of realizations.

Right now and since I get better I have difficulty connecting with people. Since forever I like to talk with stranger make them laugh but recently and looking to the past I never have a "real" deep connection with friends like I see people around me having. When I meet people from my "friends" I start to talk but they not seem engaged at all to talk, they don´t have that feeling to talk with me, they just hear and go away, I can´t keep them interested. I know that can be the words I say but I know intellectualy many let's say "tricks" to have a good conversation but in the end making that things I learn I can´t connect at all.

Even the people I spend the most of my time (I live with guys that I know at almost 10 years and know I´m in college with them) the relationships are shallow, I talk but not exist that deep connection like I see them having with people that literally they spend less time, some less some more, but the deep connection, the friendship, the playfull thigs, the conversations is there but me even spending so many years with them that connection isn´t there.

Since I know some conversation techniques and frameworks for sure that 80% of the "no-connection" is based on the feelings that I´m giving to them, the vibration, let's say, that I put out.

I have some self image problem, for example, when I go out and see successfull people and really other "ordinary" (sorry about the term) people I sense that I can´t and I don´t have a life, like I feel like I´m not like the other people (successfull and not successfull), I feel like I don´t fit on this world, that I´m not a part of the community, that I don´t have a life and life just go by me and I can´t enter the human community.

 

This text got big but I can´t get a video explaining the deep stuff, the vibrational stuff, the "ego" stuff. They just present us with conversation techiniques but don´t get to the root of the problem and if we do that techinques the results can substancially appear but don´t gonna get that deep emotional realization that we are connecting cause the deep "problem" that exists in us wasn´t fixed!!

 

Thanks people!!

Try to understand people instead of looking at yourself. You will start to love them and to have a deeper connection with them. Listen to your intuition too to connect with people. Don't listen to your thoughts that said that you're not "normal" or accept them. That's it. You're all set :) .

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Very good advice here.

You could also borrow a puppy and take it for a walk in the park...

windowslivewritercampingincapemay-bd0ban

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José, the "you are a turtle" secret message is not very clear on my browser, and only with sooth scrolling.

Edited by Lai

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58 minutes ago, Lai said:

the "you are a turtle" secret message is not very clear

Turtle?  That must be some potent LSD they have over there in Amst... :)

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I completely understand that feeling of being an alien! I took care of it by seeking out my true friends rather than just hang out with my peers! I met people on the Autism Spectrum, Autistic creative writers, theater students, a gleefuly and lovably crazy roller derby girl, cosplayers, and i'm now dating an artist. When you seek out your true friends, you realize you're that you're not alone! Tim Burton, Neil Gaiman, and Laika's films and Synetic Theater ELIMINATED those misfit feelings!

Edited by Zane

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I felt like an alien too and I still do. I was just gradually becoming myself more and more. I was facing my real self and my real desires and that is how I attracted real friends. I carried a lot of shame inside for being myself, but then I decided to stop running away from myself and let myself be me even if I am perceived as weird. It will be awkward and unpleasant at times, but honesty with yourself and others in the right contexts will pay off immensely to you. When I operated on a lower lever of my consciousness, relying only on my social mask, I wasn't able to find real people to connect with, but only those who reflected my mask, ie fake ones. But sometimes, you can find yourself surrounded with people who are not like you on a daily basis without your choice. For example, in high school, so maybe try to find some activities or different places to hang out with people who are more like you.

Edited by Bananas

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@Bananas many thanks!

this change in my world view is very powerfull

In the last week I read a thing like this and when I got out of my house to go to college I suddenly felt more free, as the time went on I came back to "my self" but was a very good feeling of freedom.

Many thanks :')

 

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@Miguel Oliveira I hope this goes over the nice way I mean it, but, I think you may be misinterpreting your biggest strengths as weaknesses. I grew up as you describe only more intensely - most of my girlfriends and friends literally asked me if I was part alien (in reference to my thinking being different). Now that I'm old, those traits have been the very things that seperate me from the herd and have served me very well. Would I be right if I asked if, being honest, you are aware you usually have more of a 'bird's eye view' on things? That you see solutions and have to be patient when others see problems? Your 'differentness' or 'uniqueness' might make you feel different, but your differentness allows you to see things differently, things that everyone else is going to see that same as others. This is a huge advantage in the world. In art, business, music, film, culinary arts, etc...different is king. You just don't know it yet. Do more of what you love. Let this go for a while. Things will pop up for you in the best way.  I think you notice a deep connection between other people but don't sense it between yourself and others, because, most people aren't as deeply connected to the universe / source / God, as you are. Keep an eye out for possible envy or resentment from others, that you may mistake for something else. 

Also, aliens come from the stars. 

So we're all aliens.

 

Edited by Nahm

MEDITATIONS TOOLS  ActualityOfBeing.com  GUIDANCE SESSIONS

NONDUALITY LOA  My Youtube Channel  THE TRUE NATURE

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