Matyr, Fool, Dupe, Sitting Duck, Stooge, Sucker

[Epiphany_Inspired]

In the tittle are just some of the synonyms for victim. Often they are accurate, that we've been foolish and have not taken proper responsibility for our lives. Especially when victim mentality lingers. Leo's life-changing video on this is incredible! At the same time, I think most of us would agree that while something awful is happening to us (like  rape, or beating) that we actually are a victim of a crime at that time (weather we admit it to ourselves, or not).

The issue is: victimization is often not a one time thing, stalking is a good example. It can pull a survivor, surpassing victimhood in again, and again, repeatedly. Our culture also has "victim blaming" (where other's say the behaviour was provoked, imagined, or lesser). Additionally, our culture has many extreme bias, such as favouritism for helping victims of direct physical assault, or an unwillingness to listen to or support, etc

If one wants to take control of their life, and, if it seems like, they have to involve police, or lawyers, etc to so, that they must be in victim mentality. The police don't have "survivors services", they have "victim services" and lawyers can only seem to help the most victim-eee-est victims... this seems quite in-integral to me. How do those on a path of truth function in this conflicting culture? Are there other alternatives, or at these times, do we have to show off our peacock tails of victim-ness to create positive change in our lives?      

 

[Epiphany_Inspired]

@My_Name_Is_Mud Exactly, I totally get that, so true! This is precisely the difference that I was trying to explain; between the victim mentality, and the actual victim events (in the first paragraph). I truly appreciate your perspective, thank you. Obviously the brave, forward moving person has the more joyful life! Let me re-phrase my questions:

When the acts of violence (like stalking, or assault, etc) are happening continuously, and regardless of the desire to move on to goals and not let the violence stand in the way....it keeps happening...it's forced consistent actual victimization (not just a "poor me" re-living of the past). How can these extended victimizations be surpassed the same way an isolated event can (both internally and externally/ physical world)?

and... If authorities need to be involved, they are not likely to help a person wanting to move on with their goals and put it behind them. Must a person go into "poor pitiful me" mode to get assistance from authorities like police, lawyers, etc?

How can the cultural roadblocks (such as victim blaming, denial of support, etc) be surpassed to get the assistance often needed to fully embody the stage you mentioned: (going out and accomplishing while not letting anything bad that once happened to them stand in their way)?

 

[Emerald]

6 hours ago, Epiphany_Inspired said:

In the tittle are just some of the synonyms for victim. Often they are accurate, that we've been foolish and have not taken proper responsibility for our lives. Especially when victim mentality lingers. Leo's life-changing video on this is incredible! At the same time, I think most of us would agree that while something awful is happening to us (like  rape, or beating) that we actually are a victim of a crime at that time (weather we admit it to ourselves, or not).

The issue is: victimization is often not a one time thing, stalking is a good example. It can pull a survivor, surpassing victimhood in again, and again, repeatedly. Our culture also has "victim blaming" (where other's say the behaviour was provoked, imagined, or lesser). Additionally, our culture has many extreme bias, such as favouritism for helping victims of direct physical assault, or an unwillingness to listen to or support, etc

If one wants to take control of their life, and, if it seems like, they have to involve police, or lawyers, etc to so, that they must be in victim mentality. The police don't have "survivors services", they have "victim services" and lawyers can only seem to help the most victim-eee-est victims... this seems quite in-integral to me. How do those on a path of truth function in this conflicting culture? Are there other alternatives, or at these times, do we have to show off our peacock tails of victim-ness to create positive change in our lives?      

 

The way to reconcile these things is to not identify yourself with being a victim. You can acknowledge that someone has wronged you and that certain things are not your fault. However, when you take 100% responsibility for you life, you acknowledge that however you decide to respond is 100% your responsibility. So, the power is in your hands to respond in any way. No one can fix your problems for you, even if you didn't cause your problems. So, even if courts call a person a "victim" because they've been victimized, there is no need to own "victimhood." It's like being assigned a juror number. You may have been juror number 5 in the most recent court case, but as soon as you're done with the case you don't care about your identity as juror number 5 or feel like you have to keep it for life. You simply realize that it was a useful label in the context of the justice system, but not useful in any other scenario. 

[Loreena]

Its not so much of a problem of an individual but rather of a society.

Yes society makes us like this. Because everyone has a deaf ear so you gotta shout louder so that someone can hear.

When people have empathy, there will be no victim blaming and no false victimhood because why would you need it when your needs are being taken care of in the most appropriate ways.

Why was the law system created. To give justice. And if they fail, they have defeated their own purpose.

Obviously, a person is a victim when any violent act happens, its undeniable. But victim blaming is nothing but pushing blame onto the easiest scapegoat - the victim. The society is not being empathetic when they blame the victim.

So whats the conclusion here

Improve your situation by your own efforts.

Pull yourself up by your(own) bootstraps. because nobody gonna do that for you.

False victims are manipulators. Real victims are sufferers. Both are indicators of an underlying disease in the society, The only way to get rid of roadblocks is to create sensitivity and awareness to the plight of victims, but when people are deaf, you gotta be strong!!!

 

[Guest Annetta]

11 hours ago, Epiphany_Inspired said:

The issue is: victimization is often not a one time thing, stalking is a good example. It can pull a survivor, surpassing victimhood in again, and again, repeatedly.

Indeed.

Pertaining to the other comments, it is frequently described as the empath-apath-sociopath triad.

Edited April 23, 2017 by Annetta

[Guest Annetta]

Sociopaths are usually very acquainted with how law works.  It allows them to bother people within legal limits, even if the person asks them repeatedly to stop.

Edited April 23, 2017 by Annetta

[Guest Annetta]

I dated one for ten years, his behaviour got me interested in trying to understand psychology.
He did believe he was a genius.  So did the one that my friend dated; lived with that guy for a year and a half.
This is my only account, and the last thing I am writing to you.
Peace.

[Epiphany_Inspired]

@Loreena , @Emerald , @Annetta , @My_Name_Is_Mud Thank you all. I have always felt safe to share my deepest thoughts n on this forum...but, because of things that Mud brought up, such as slander, etc. I feel hesitant to discuss all of the details, also, I "may" still be experiencing it.  Plus, other actualizers may have experienced victimization in a repeating form too (regardless, it could be sexual, physical. emotional, etc ...it's all violence...).

I have been stalked a couple of times in the past, in the typical way we think of: following around/ showing up / calling, etc...You just get a restraining order, and it's usually all good. What I "may" be experiencing now is more insidious; I wasn't aware this form of stalking even existed until I recently read the legal definition and the effects on the "victim" and was horrified by the "apparent" accuracy. I swear to you Mud this is about security not revenge. My concerns are exactly what you mentioned, that it could be misconstrued, if authorities don't "get it"....and could actually escalate what "seems" like terrorization if they don't help or just give a warning that could aggravate the "apparent" aggressor further.

I will be asking for help either way, (thank you @Emerald for helping me understand that it's just a label).  How would I know if it's in my highest interest to go the police route instead of court? I have been utterly shocked by the typical reaction I get from professionals and some of my friends: blame/  others assuming I may have provoked it , or not understanding the extent, and repetitive/ cumulative nature of the "apparent" terrorization.

Also parts of my  personal-development-self may have been hindering getting help because I *SO* don't want to be a victim.... I want to be moving on to goals etc,*SO* badly that it left me unprepared for each next "potential" incident.....and I've been *SO* into taking responsibility...I was taking more than my share...

[Sprite]

On 4/24/2017 at 2:39 PM, Epiphany_Inspired said:

@Loreena , @Emerald , @Annetta , @My_Name_Is_Mud Thank you all. I have always felt safe to share my deepest thoughts n on this forum...but, because of things that Mud brought up, such as slander, etc. I feel hesitant to discuss all of the details, also, I "may" still be experiencing it.  Plus, other actualizers may have experienced victimization in a repeating form too (regardless, it could be sexual, physical. emotional, etc ...it's all violence...).

I have been stalked a couple of times in the past, in the typical way we think of: following around/ showing up / calling, etc...You just get a restraining order, and it's usually all good. What I "may" be experiencing now is more insidious; I wasn't aware this form of stalking even existed until I recently read the legal definition and the effects on the "victim" and was horrified by the "apparent" accuracy. I swear to you Mud this is about security not revenge. My concerns are exactly what you mentioned, that it could be misconstrued, if authorities don't "get it"....and could actually escalate what "seems" like terrorization if they don't help or just give a warning that could aggravate the "apparent" aggressor further.

I will be asking for help either way, (thank you @Emerald for helping me understand that it's just a label).  How would I know if it's in my highest interest to go the police route instead of court? I have been utterly shocked by the typical reaction I get from professionals and some of my friends: blame/  others assuming I may have provoked it , or not understanding the extent, and repetitive/ cumulative nature of the "apparent" terrorization.

Also parts of my  personal-development-self may have been hindering getting help because I *SO* don't want to be a victim.... I want to be moving on to goals etc,*SO* badly that it left me unprepared for each next "potential" incident.....and I've been *SO* into taking responsibility...I was taking more than my share...

You mentioned you were going through an ordeal that doesn't fall under the normal spectrum of stalking. I'm going through a similar incident myself, which I don't have proper "evidence" to give to the authorities. It's been constantly escalating since my attacker realized that as of yet she won't face any consequences from her actions. It's been going on for three years now. I dropped out from college, because I couldn't take the stress of it all on top of my studies, and also because of the way my professors were brought into it. I feel so alone and psychologically trapped with this (which is one of the reasons I turned to Leo's videos). I don't mean to bother you but could you tell me more about what's going on/went on with your situation? (In a PM? If you're uncomfortable here.) I would go into detail with my own, but its so insanely out there that I'm tired of repeating it to every person who afterwards doesn't "see" anything. Let's just say it pertains heavily to electronics and hacking. I need serious help, but I'm not a "victim" because of the way that everything is being so craftily done.

[Epiphany_Inspired]

@Sprite You can feel free to PM me too  For everyone that experiences this: you have my ear, my respect,  my knowledge, etc.  Now, before I say how stoked I will be to get this resolved soon in my own life (with a lot of help), and offer my insights...I'd like to empathize... truly. In most areas of actualization we can either take things to our internal battlefield instead, walk away, or set external boundaries, etc. This is the one arena of life, where we become dependant on external authorities to protect us (longing for the days of sword battles...lol).

So, here are some personal development things that have helped me: consider this battle = a "threshold guardian" learn everything you can to grow. In a way, you still have to apply Leo's not caring what others think video (to a certain extent, obviously if something is dangerous - heed that). Also, most importantly, stalkers are like other "energy vampires" and we do not want to have them feeding off of us...So, things that help are: acting indifferent, not giving up our power + standing firm in our strength/ power, and drawing in more power from the multi-verse/ trusting in it.

Stalkers like the type we are dealing with, that have a manipulative artfulness are the creepiest in my opinion. Get support wherever you can find it, I literally made over 100 calls to get the help I need to resolve this. Get witnesses, (even if it's just to your reaction to the stalking), use whatever means necessary to get "proof" (us, as the sly and clever fox - your image Sprite-  can find ways to totally out wit the big bad wolf...the wolf is just full of hot air, and is destined to go down ....in every tale...lol....)...ultimate wishes for your success, escape, or overcoming!