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Annetta

Let's Try This Again <3

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@Fidelio No worries, I'm cleaning up my place and taking care of my appearance, intermittent internet.
-------------------------------------

Speaking of, feats today:
Woke at 8:30 w/ out alarm clock - sleep schedule is set now
Cleaned for 1 hour
Whitened teeth, gave myself a pedicure, wearing face mask atm, exercised a little bit.
Fridge is stocked with only healthy options.  No carbs sans white rice.

1

The creature laughed, scornfully. "I," it said, "am afraid of nothing."  "Nothing?"
"Nothing," it said.  Charlie said, "Are you extremely frightened of nothing?"
"Absolutely terrified of it," admitted the Dragon.  -From Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman

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(Posts something... I just wanna see.  It's probably nothing... but, don't judge just, just lemmi do this and then I'm done.)
 

 

If it's nothing, this will prove it.

Okay... done.

I probably am just crazy, but.  Just to be sure.
 

 

1

The creature laughed, scornfully. "I," it said, "am afraid of nothing."  "Nothing?"
"Nothing," it said.  Charlie said, "Are you extremely frightened of nothing?"
"Absolutely terrified of it," admitted the Dragon.  -From Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman

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Woke up way later than I would have liked - got up at 7, figured it was too early, fell back asleep - woke up at 10.
If I wake up too early again, just gunna stay awake:

Feats for the day:
exercised for 30 mins!
ate healthy
meditated for 15 minutes!

Edited by Annetta
1

The creature laughed, scornfully. "I," it said, "am afraid of nothing."  "Nothing?"
"Nothing," it said.  Charlie said, "Are you extremely frightened of nothing?"
"Absolutely terrified of it," admitted the Dragon.  -From Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman

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So hey, this will be my last post here. I keep getting "warned" for really stupid shit, and over-moderation makes it difficult for me to write anything because it causes me to second guess myself, and this is not conducive for productive communication and contrary to the Socratic method which is the only format I will participate in.

Since I believe my posts are being monitored this is for the mod--please delete me account. No hard feelings. Thanks :)

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@Fidelio Sorry to hear that dude.  How many warnings do you have tallied up so far?

1

The creature laughed, scornfully. "I," it said, "am afraid of nothing."  "Nothing?"
"Nothing," it said.  Charlie said, "Are you extremely frightened of nothing?"
"Absolutely terrified of it," admitted the Dragon.  -From Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman

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Okay, I haven't caught up on your whole journal yet, but great music selection!  I wanted to offer you the name Michael Meade for mythological inspiration, a good alternative to Joseph Campbell :)  Also, I think I had a pretty deep "enlightenment experience recently"  Your story writing is totally inspiring me how to narrate how it happened to me.  Yes, there were illegal acts and a variety of weird synchronicities involved ;)

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I woke up, kind of hazey, and then I remembered a song I posted and didn't think about the content, it just went right over my head and now I am really really awake. =.=

1

The creature laughed, scornfully. "I," it said, "am afraid of nothing."  "Nothing?"
"Nothing," it said.  Charlie said, "Are you extremely frightened of nothing?"
"Absolutely terrified of it," admitted the Dragon.  -From Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman

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@Loreena Cute video!  I've been a careless bork...
 

#raisedontheinnernet

@h inandout  Thanks for the suggestion, I subscribed, I'll check out some of his stuff a bit later today.
Oooh, I'm curious to know what your experience was like.
 

----------------
Feats for the day:
Exercised for 30 mins
Ate healthy - took vitamins - meds
Meditated for 15 mins
Woke up on time - 8:38 - body tends to be it's own alarm, interesting...

Complaints:
Effexor takes 1 - 2 week before the bad side effects start to disappear, depression seems to be clearing up already, but I am not getting a good night's rest.  Hope this clears up soon.

Joys:
Meditation really does seem to help with the "monkey mind", I have been practicing by mentally giving myself a hug any time I have a thought appear to try and reduce resistance.  It works! :) 
 

This came out today!  Good shit!

Edited by Annetta
1

The creature laughed, scornfully. "I," it said, "am afraid of nothing."  "Nothing?"
"Nothing," it said.  Charlie said, "Are you extremely frightened of nothing?"
"Absolutely terrified of it," admitted the Dragon.  -From Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman

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Learned to dis-identify with thoughts.  I've learned this in the past, but forgot it.  A few rounds of 15 min chakra tuning and meditation and that insight has returned.  This song is so magnificent for remembering this lesson, however it might be forgotten in a day or two as the thoughts try to pull me back in.  

1

The creature laughed, scornfully. "I," it said, "am afraid of nothing."  "Nothing?"
"Nothing," it said.  Charlie said, "Are you extremely frightened of nothing?"
"Absolutely terrified of it," admitted the Dragon.  -From Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman

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@Annetta thoughts are your children. You dont have to identify,becayse it is not you,from the other hand love them for what they are becausr they are your children. This is the key to overall mental health.

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@egoeimai Thanks for the suggestion.  I will keep this in mind.

-----------

Feats for the day:
Woke at 7 am (might take a nap later, been having some wicked insomnia for three days)
Ate healthy
Meditated 15 mins (attempted to - lot of monkey mind today)
Meditated again 15 mins - less monkey mind
Exercised for 30 mins
Facial, pedicure

Edited by Annetta
1

The creature laughed, scornfully. "I," it said, "am afraid of nothing."  "Nothing?"
"Nothing," it said.  Charlie said, "Are you extremely frightened of nothing?"
"Absolutely terrified of it," admitted the Dragon.  -From Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman

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I guess I did imagine the whole thing...  Weird stuff.
I thought for sure, but I guess I was wrong.
But that's okay, it'll open up my soul open for my real true-trues.
Never give up.

Where is my true-true? :o 
Your babygirl is sitting here waitin'.

You're out there in the real world, I just have to piece myself together first.
----------------------------------------------


I wanna get everyone's rep. points up.  Like, some members have an insane amount of rep points and others are lower and you can learn something from everyone, so I feel it should be equaled out a little bit. :ph34r:
equality.jpg

Feel brighter and happier today.  Skin is starting to look nicer, clearer, less oily.  Can see some minor weight loss.  I think I was gluten intolerant or something because I've cut out pretty much all carbs and I feel so much better.  Started taking vitamin sups as well, not sure how well the body absorbs vitamins - I have heard they aren't necessary, but just to be sure.  Need to figure out how to make leafy veggies more palatable, though.  Not eating enough of them.  And protein.  Need more of that.
Took a three hour nap earlier, really needed it.  Have not been getting enough sleep lately.

Meditation really helps!  Like, wow!  I added on an extra 15 minutes because the first session was not very effective, I spent too much time thinking, but this time around I realized that I have a literal addiction to the need to know things.  The whole time, I had to fight the urge to look something up.
The best questions come up when you're trying to clear your mind! :o

By sometime next year I want my schedule to be really healthy, wholesome.
Something like meditating for 1 hour a day, exercise for 2 hours, art for 2 hours, and whatever else.
It's all coming together.  Once I feel better, the sky is the limit. :D 

Edited by Annetta
2

The creature laughed, scornfully. "I," it said, "am afraid of nothing."  "Nothing?"
"Nothing," it said.  Charlie said, "Are you extremely frightened of nothing?"
"Absolutely terrified of it," admitted the Dragon.  -From Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman

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Feats for the day:
- Woke at 5... =.=
- Went to the store, bought things with protein and whatnot.  ...greek yogurt, hardboiled eggs, smoked salmon, tuna packets, tofu.. some avocados, a mango, blueberries, green tea, snap peas, and two caprese salads.  Should last about a week.  70 bucks though, gunna have to learn to budget my meals better.
- Ate healthy - salmon, tofu, blueberries, 2 yogurts and an avocado, collagen powder in water - skin is starting to become more even in tone, brain fog is still here but about 15 percent less than what it used to be, having strong cravings for sugar, fine lines on forehead are starting to diminish at certain times but pop back up in the morning (sigh) - blackheads almost gone, pores shrinking, contemplating trying an Asian 10-step skin care routine to fix this but it would be a pricey investment.  Overall, I have been taking better care of my skin for a month now and the results are very pleasing.
- 30 mins meditation - not a lot of monkey mind, thoughts are becoming easier to disengage from.  Did a 15 min chakra tuning.  By the 5th chakra, could feel peace and joy of being spread through my body.  Felt grateful.  Feel calm.  
- Pedicure, got smooth feet now!
- Exercised for 40 minutes, worked up a sweat


giphy.gif
Classes I'm interested in taking:
(website is down, can't look at specific classes atm)

-American Sign Language (my brother is deaf, but I don't know ASL)
-Anthropology
-Art
-Biology
-Buisiness
-Deaf Studies
-English
-Geography
-Health
-History
-Humanities
-Math
-Philosophy
-Political Science
-Psychology
-Sociology

Pretty much whatever I am lacking in knowledge on will suffice.  Will have to whittle this down to whatever will be most useful for life at some point.  Quite a ways away, but good to get planning now... maybe just get a transfer degree and go from there...  hmmmn... found the AA transfer degree worksheet thingamie... lessie here...

*monkey screech, moderate nostril flare*

MATH 098 - Intermediate Algebra Proficiency... fuck, I'm not good at math.  I'm gunna have to study now so I don't have to waste my time with lower classes that won't count towards a degree....

Basic requirements:
ENG 101 & 102 
Quantitative/Symbolic Reasoning -  Not sure yet.

Distribution requirements:
ART 100 - Art appreciation 
Not sure yet.
Not sure yet.

Natural World:
Not sure yet.
Not sure yet.
Not sure yet.

Electives:
Not sure yet.
Not sure yet.
Not sure yet.
Not sure yet.
Not sure yet.
Not sure yet.
Not sure yet.

Individuals, Cultures and Societies:
Not sure yet.
Not sure yet.
Not sure yet.

Refer back
Refer back

Edited by Annetta
1

The creature laughed, scornfully. "I," it said, "am afraid of nothing."  "Nothing?"
"Nothing," it said.  Charlie said, "Are you extremely frightened of nothing?"
"Absolutely terrified of it," admitted the Dragon.  -From Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman

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images.jpg
Lookit this chick.  She's got that wonky eye thing that I have going on.  Slather on some makeup and boom.  Hot.
I'm checking out before and after makeup photos in google images.
How do guys feel about women looking so different with makeup on?

before-and-after-makeup-photos-vadim-and

Makeup has gotten so complicated, people don't even look real anymore.
If I tried to do my makeup, it would look like this:

866369c1946d8e65bfccf015be977e3a.jpg
"Hey sexy, how you doin'?"  *eyebrow waggle*
 

 

Edited by Annetta
1

The creature laughed, scornfully. "I," it said, "am afraid of nothing."  "Nothing?"
"Nothing," it said.  Charlie said, "Are you extremely frightened of nothing?"
"Absolutely terrified of it," admitted the Dragon.  -From Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman

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Hahahaha hilarious 😑😆😆😆😁😁 

Girl,If u wanna wear makeup do it! And Improve your skills,noone is born with skills.they develop them😉 

I think women should wear makeup not to prove the world theyre beautiful,because they are with and without,no matter what. But sadly  a bunch of the realize it. The rest of them are trapped in this game of wearing makeup outside and even when going to the supermarket and its getting annoying.Also,makeup helps with self confidence but also reduces the possibilities to do something to feel confidence from the inside.

Oh,Flashback memory. This song. Lool.

F*ck.  

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I'm this pale, so maybe something like this, but w/ less red lipstick, more of a natural blush, more dewy.  There isn't a lot of makeup out there that is light enough for my skin.
Why is being a woman so much work? -.-

--------------------
Feats for the day:
Not much, taking a break today, insomnia has caught up with me and I'm catching up on some sleep
Ate healthy at least.... yawwwwn.

Edited by Annetta
1

The creature laughed, scornfully. "I," it said, "am afraid of nothing."  "Nothing?"
"Nothing," it said.  Charlie said, "Are you extremely frightened of nothing?"
"Absolutely terrified of it," admitted the Dragon.  -From Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman

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