I single 30-year old man dating a 40-year old married woman, asking for advice!

6 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

Hi Dating, Sexuality, Relationships, Family section of the forum!
This is the first time I post in this section, I hope y'all doing great!

I single 30-year old kissed and hugged a married 40-year old woman.
I was hesitant for a couple of days, then I thought "I gotta live, because people tell me that I think too much" so I jumped into it.
That's usually not my style.

The woman have had affairs for years, she's used to it.
She have had several partners, outside of her marriage.
I don't want to hurt the feelings of the husband.
She seems to handle multiple situations very well - she lives "in the now" and don't give a sh* about consequences.
She is very independent and she have a "secret garden".

We both agreed that it's just "fun" without felling in love.

I don't know her status on herpes/HSV-1, I'm clean and I like to have control over my life - I'm afraid that I've kissed her, I might have it now.
I've asked about HSV-1 prior, she said something like "Herpes? What is it? I've never heard of that" her reply didn't convinced me.
I just don't like the idea of having HSV-1, she's the kind of person who would lie about it, because she don't care about consequences, she just wants fun.

In short, the two reasons I'm hesitant to go further:
- I don't know the husband, in case he find out: I don't want to hurt his feelings.
- I have no clue if she have herpes (or other things) without proper screening tests.

My feeling about this situation isn't very good.
It doesn't bring "joy", it's just a short term guilty pleasure.

I'm the kind of person who's "overthink all the time" does that mean I should keep-up with her or is better to choose a safer path?
Note: I didn't had something like this happening in my life for years.
I'm not "pro-active" when it comes to meeting people and dating / I've kind of stepped back, since I was having health issues and I was busy with work.
I'm slowly coming back to "the game" but I don't like the idea of not knowing if someone have herpes or other things.

The husband might find out eventually, I don't know him and how he would react - there's a risk that he would beat me up.

Your advice is welcome, I don't know if I should keep-up or not.


Edited by Soulbass

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Brother, I know exactly what you're saying here. By your description our personalities are alike, and I think you'll continue doing it while feeling bad, just for the sake of it (or you're a dopamine-led addict)

Either way the only thing I found a solution is to find something better.

ps.Wacky content, refreshing :D 

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Start gaming single and available women. Where are your morals?

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If you dont understand, you're not twisted enough.

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Posted (edited)

It's risky and not really gonna solve your dating problems. Fool around if you can't help yourself but start looking for another dating strategy for the long term because this will not last.

A cougar is not right for you anyways. You can do better.

Edited by Leo Gura

You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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You should do what you want but she seems like a red flag to me. Those woman latch onto you. 

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