A Weird Issue I Have Had For A While...

[Ross G]

Hello. I have had this issue for a while and it has been bothering me constantly for years so I thought that I would post about it here and maybe get some advice!

So, my issue is basically this: When I interact with people and socialise or something along those lines, I panic, feel extremely anxious and I blush intensely. This has been happening for probably around 8 or so years (I'm 18 currently, by the way.) I'm not entirely sure what caused this issue to start, but I may be able to trace it back to when I was bullied at school as this was around the same time. I think about this a lot in my life, and I have been thinking about it for years as I try to stop it from happening so that I can just interact and socialise with people like a regular person. As an example, when faced with any social situation I react by panicking, becoming very anxious and then completely going into some kind of meltdown mode where I just sweat and blush as if I am ill or something. I think I care a lot about what people are thinking of me, and this situation usually proves it. It's got to the point now where I simply avoid every interaction with people that I possibly can out of fear that I will blush in front of them. It's kind of crazy, I know...

I would appreciate any bits of advice you guys may be able to offer me!

Thanks.

[faith]

Hi Loud,

I am sorry to hear you're going through this trouble,

Happened to me too. Was always worried about what I should say next, and was scared what people would think of me. You grow out of it, it's not forever. I don't think anything you can do. Just keep trying to interact when you can. There is no magic pill. 

[ArabiaNytes]

@Loud1

Hey there - Seems to me that you have the signs of social anxiety disorder. It has been persistent within your social interactions and has significantly effected your daily functioning. Perhaps it took root most severly when, as you mentioned, were being bullied in school but with some other predisposing sesitivities to how you approach situations, i.e. not respected or valued at home, pushed around by family members as well, spending a lot of time alone, (I find isolation to be a strong common theme). There is hope. With your willingness and a great therapist, you can work together through various therapies and perhaps medication --- maybe just to get you started on the process of psychotherapy, cognitive-behavioral therapy, etc. If you feel that the fear is suffocating you on a constant basis, then you have a real problem that has various possible answers; this is jus like learning to walk again. Growing up, you didn't get that chance to be yourself and feel supported, so you never learned social skills, like to never learn to walk. Behavior plus emotion affects who we become, like molding clay. With adequate attending, you can relearn how to start anew.

It's not fair how certain situations occur in our lives that gets in the way of growing up happy and healthy...  It can't be easy to feel like something is out of your control, but you do have control: you care and you're seeking help. Strong qualities that sound promising to me. After all, caring is like fuel to the soul. 

Note, I am not "diagnosing" you but I feel that I can identify what you're experiencing based on your statement; and, it just so happens to have a name. If you really want an answer of merit, perhaps having a consultation or two with psychologist/psychiatrist could give you some insight, in the least. 

 

Stay Loud

Edited April 14, 2017 by ArabiaNytes

[Shin]

Start a meditation habit (20 minutes a day, every day), stick to it, also, go take a walk for like 30 minutes/1 hour everyday, and just say "hi" to every person you meet (remember to smile).

After 3 months, go meet people on very small social circle and look at your emotions, you'll know what I mean at that point.

The anxiety will still be there, but it will just be some "thing" that you can sense, and you'll be able to talk and socialize normally even though the feeling is still there.

Report here in 3 months

Edited April 14, 2017 by Shin

[egoeimai]

56 minutes ago, Shin said:

Start a meditation habit (20 minutes a day, every day), stick to it, also, go take a walk for like 30 minutes/1 hour everyday, and just say "hi" to every person you meet (remember to smile).

After 3 months, go meet people on very small social circle and look at your emotions, you'll know what I mean at that point.

The anxiety will still be there, but it will just be some "thing" that you can sense, and you'll be able to talk and socialize normally even though the feeling is still there.

Report here in 3 months

I will take this advice too! 

[Ross G]

Thanks for the advice so far guys! I appreciate it a lot. This is something that deep down I do believe I can control, however difficult it may be. I'm just not really sure which would be the best way to do so at this point. I already have a mediation habit (5 months so far) and I have been practicing mindfulness throughout my days too. I have been able to become aware of when I have a lot of emotions, especially my "meltdowns". I've been trying for a while to feel deep into these emotions, and I can really feel them in my body as I become aware during the moment. However, I haven't found a permanent solution overall for this issue. Also, I have considered medication for this, but I've never gone through with it.

[Shin]

30 minutes ago, Loud1 said:

Thanks for the advice so far guys! I appreciate it a lot. This is something that deep down I do believe I can control, however difficult it may be. I'm just not really sure which would be the best way to do so at this point. I already have a mediation habit (5 months so far) and I have been practicing mindfulness throughout my days too. I have been able to become aware of when I have a lot of emotions, especially my "meltdowns". I've been trying for a while to feel deep into these emotions, and I can really feel them in my body as I become aware during the moment. However, I haven't found a permanent solution overall for this issue. Also, I have considered medication for this, but I've never gone through with it.

It will dissolve by itself if you watch it happening/aren't inconscious will it is happening.
Yes it is very troublesome, it doesn't feel nice, but that's how it is.

Now if after several years of meditation/consciousness and willingness from your part to socialize (try small group, maybe you're just introvert), then maybe it is something in your brain chemistry, and medecine would be an appropriate tool.

Edited April 14, 2017 by Shin

[Ross G]

Maybe I just need to wait longer and continue being mindful of this as you said. I highly doubt it's my actual brain chemistry, as I was fine interacting with people and just generally being social when I was a bit younger. It's like some kind of specific event in my life triggered it or something. 

[Scholar]

I always keep mentioning this when I hear about social anxiety, but something worth looking into is your consumption of pornography. What you describe reminds me of how it was for me aswell. My social anxiety was almost entirely based on the usage of pornography. If you don't really watch it frequently then it's unlikely, but if it's every day then you should definitely consider that it's the route cause.

https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/

There are probably millions of people suffering from this, so it's not really that unlikely. Just take it serious if you do use porn, this can be a complete life changer, it definitely was for me.

Edited April 14, 2017 by Scholar

[Shin]

Porn and masturbation altogether, because when you masturbate you rarely do it without thinking of some girls, so it's still a fantasy in your mind, about girls you don't have (otherwise you wouldn't masturbate).

[Ross G]

That is very interesting to me because I do consume a large amount of porn in my life... After reading the link that Scholar posted, I can definitely see how this is affecting me deeply. As for the root cause, I have had my issue before I even started to view porn which is strange. I don't doubt for a second that excessive porn use is contributing to this though. Thanks for that share.