Search the Community

Showing results for 'suicide'.


Didn't find what you were looking for? Try searching for:


More search options

  • Search By Tags

    Type tags separated by commas.
  • Search By Author

Content Type


Forums

  • Forum Guidelines
    • Guidelines
  • Main Discussions
    • Personal Development -- [Main]
    • Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
    • Psychedelics
    • Society, Politics, Government, Environment, Current Events
    • Life Purpose, Career, Entrepreneurship, Finance
    • Dating, Sexuality, Relationships, Family
    • Health, Fitness, Nutrition, Supplements
    • Intellectual Stuff: Philosophy, Science, Technology
    • Mental Health, Serious Emotional Issues
    • High Consciousness Resources
    • Off-Topic: Pop-Culture, Entertainment, Fun
  • Other
    • Self-Actualization Journals
    • Self-Help Product & Book Reviews
    • Video Requests For Leo

Found 3,249 results

  1. Conservatives aren't ashamed of it. They want to be associated with it and claim the victory. It's finally a win for them and their voter base from a generally ineffective and toothless party, it's a big morale boost. So there is no reason for them to disavow or try to spin it. The dumb majority opinion is "Trump elected a conservative judge, which is the reason Roe v Wade got overturned, so it's ultimately Trump's fault." That opinion is already cemented in public consciousness and it's too late to change it. You guys really can't conceive that removing abortion rights isn't some political suicide hot potato that conservatives would want to offload haha. Don't worry, Biden and the Dems have enough problems to handsomely lose the midterms without also blaming loss of abortion rights on them.
  2. @Razard86 This thread is a very nice idea Wow, yea not sure where to start, obviously one could write so much about how his work was helpful. I wanna keep it short, but I also wanna point out a few things that maybe don't get mentioned so often, but I feel like are worth noting: - Like so many others Leos teaching about enlightenment gave me strength and hope in desperate times (basically that there is a much better option to suicide). Like to so many others his work is also for me a life-saver. - He sums up complicated and sometimes contradicting spiritual teachings in a clear and streamlined fashion, so that it is easier to understand. Also his teaching style (and also his look) make spirituality way more accessible to "normal" people, who would otherwise just dismiss similar teachings of a guy dressed in robes and flowers in front of a huge crowd as "hippie-nonsense" or whatever. This alone is a huge benefit for society I believe. - I love how basically his video cover all important topics of life. To me there really is not much value gained anymore from other yt-channels, which drastically simplifies one's use of youtube. - I freakin' love the video-style: that he takes hours to explain deep topics and doesn't try to give quick answers to profound questions (like even many other spiritual & self-helf youtubers do with their 10-minute-videos). I love how all the information is presented calmly and slowly (and sometimes even repeated if important enough). I feel like 90 % of all yt-videos are way too hectic, it's very hard to focus, and they are way too flashy with all the quick cuts and effects. Really appreciate the simplicity of Leo's videos. - Leo really knows how to spark motivation and passion in other people. Sometimes just watching him how he speaks passionatly about something is enough for me to already get excited about my own life. The way he presents himself and his life alone is already inspiring. - I appreciate how much he emphasizes the importance of skepticism and that nothing he says should be believed blindly, but rather should be validated and experienced by oneself. Obviously, there is so much more, but those are the most important points for me that I could come up now. Thank you, Leo!
  3. It's so weird being in here, writing stuff he will never read. Because I'm so used to this forum meaning him. Discussions with him and thoughts about him and me checking if he was online regularly if we didn't speak, worrying when his content seemed too much up in the clouds, worrying when he didn't write anything at all. I looked up to him so much, I was so amazed by his mind. But I was also so angry at him for spending so much time being in his own head thinking about God instead of just living and being and breathing with me. There's a memory I had forgotten, but it has kept returning after he has died. I had moved to the other city then, to study, but we talked on the phone, of course, It wasn't during one of the break periods. But I remember I was still surprised that he called me. That it was me he called. He was in shock, he had fallen off his bike, you know he used to drive so fast and recklessly it was insane, with his long-limbed alien-body no one could control - him the least! When I remember it, I can see him as if I am standing next to him looking at his wounds in the bathroom mirror, but it was just a phone call. He was laughing almost, from the shock, he said he probably should go to the hospital. he described his wounded face to me. There's something about that memory, I think it comes up because it felt so normal and earthly and I felt so... Like if by calling me, he said to me - yes, you are the one I call when I'm hurt and don't know what to do. And I felt able to comfort him. And included. I asked if I should come to his city and go with him to the hospital. He of course said no, but I should not have listened. Before he died I don't think I really understood regret. I thought I could go through life without ever regretting anything - because everything happens for a reason right. And the universe has a plan. I do still believe that. I can never not believe that, and he wouldn't have wanted me to. He would laugh at me if I lost faith, I can almost hear him. Rolling his eyes at me - like God in all is the most obvious thing. But fuck, what I wouldn't give to be able to turn back time and take that fucking two-hour train ride to sit with him in that fucking hospital, holding his hand. Pressing my head against his chest. Kissing his shoulder and neck and fingers. And now I'm crying and it's probably better to stop writing now because I really think I should do this in small steps. I think it could be good for me though, to write about it in here. I feel people in here know him in a way that is comforting to me. They know his mind and his words and his empathy and all of his stupid trips and contemplations.
  4. Seems that no matter what, I still have to journal a little bit. I still have to put my thoughts down. I used to think that this is useless but it's not. Probably this is one of the best form of self therapy and self talk. I have to discharge myself even if it's only once in there months. Tonight I start crying again out of the blue. Probably I'm not well mentally. How could I be? 5 years of "personal development" and nothing achieved but pain and sorrow. I can't trust none in the long term. In the short term I over trust everyone. I over share and leaving myself naked and vulnerable, then run and hide from everyone to protect this piece of shit called ego. From now on all the dreams stat to fade away piece by piece. I'm nowhere near where I would like to be and probably I will never make it. Depressing thoughts are creeping in and feel worthless. How could I love myself? How could anyone else love me? I want so much to share my love for someone but is useless- I have no power. Nobody wants love without power. When you have power you can get love but when you have love there's no power. Why I am so weak? My mind got so corrupt by porn, a plate of food,a hot shower and a bed, that cannot dream of moving forward in any way shape or form. I meet a lovely girl Saturday night in London and I failed all her shit tests. Still she gives me her number and want to see me but I am so disconnected that I have no Idea what to text back. Also I got one-itas. So far I went to the club but find someone and stick to the same person all night. I have to be more flexy. And still I didn't prepared for game, I just wanted to dance and enjoy some good DJ like John Digweed or Sasha. Power power power. It's clear to me that if at the peak of my youth I am considering suicide as a way of escape, probably I won't have a natural ending of this dream. I start reaching out to some distant friends and that was alright. We'll see how it goes on. I need a ego death this summer. I need to break through.
  5. I started having these thoughts of jumping from a high floor, I was at a hotel last year when it happened, I stared down, And my mind started making up a story of how nice it would be to just jump and end all this suffering that's been going on for a while. It seemed like the perfect solution as to my life, since my life is just a dream why should I care that much if everything's so illusionary with their illusionary consequence. So i attempted, but i freaked out went on bed (not sure if i was consciously stopping it or my subconscious mind freaked out about it ) and there it was mind won't stop racing thoughts about that incident, all night and morning, that it wouldn't stop until like 2 weeks have passed I've been having these episodes of it coming and going, Felt like it was getting stronger at times when i follow those thoughts. They'd like for days or weeks, My mind is calmer now but i easily fall under the trap of i should go for it since life feels so meaningless and i dislike a lot about it and i just can't seem to get it the way i want life to run for me. It feels like someday maybe i could really lose control and go over it, since it felt automatic at the time back then. I can kinda of understand how suicidal people are since i've never been in that state of mind before. I used to be able to say yeah i want to die and suicide since i was 13-14 but that thought would go away within a few seconds to a minute and won't really come up again until months or years passing by and i'd let go not thinking too much about it over the years, But this seems like another weird infiltrated virus that just won't stop leaving me alone pushing me to do it every time, even though i'm trying not to entertain it, it seems very believable as a good idea out of suffering. Even though i keep telling myself over and over it's not as bad as i exaggerate it to be, i still have a lot left, but it's hard to feel the past's well being due to my chronic anxiety. (there's like a pain/uneasiness worry that never goes away keeps cycling between my chest/heart/throat, i just loathe it that part the most with my health issues. (tinnitus/hyperacis/back/leg injury/kidney issues, not sure how to explain it but i have several 5meo side effects, my mind and body just doesn't feel the same feels weird/off and i can't be my past self as i used to be, i have a lot of memory issues which is making it hard for me to cope/learn from my experiences or speak in a proper manner without much brain fog) I really crave early financial freedom since i was so close to get it but i gambled it all away in crypto thinking i could reach UHNWI and i'm manipulating people/ market to make it work eventually. But that was just dumb i keep bringing up the past over and over from a lot of petty stuff with lots of overthinking. As for love i just realized egoic human love is always conditional over unconditional so i thought there could be some unbreakable unshakable bond with someone here for me, but apparently that doesn't exist either salty about wasting all my life for her only to get cheated on multiple times through out the years as i tried to forgive and let go just for it to keep repeating with no remorse. I can't grow feelings to anyone anymore after that experience, I just dislike people in general. Advice? Thank you for caring
  6. I'm weak, but I'm not thinking of committing suicide. Will face those bastards. No worries. πŸ˜‚ What about transgenders?
  7. Only weak people think of suicide as a solution. Face your problems/demons, we all have them. Sidenote: Women have a solipsistic view of life, not men.
  8. Some say God created itself. Logically this is false. The source didn't choose to give birth to itself. Giving birth is only possible for those who are alive. To give birth to oneself means to be dead and then to become alive by choice. But if one is dead then one can't give birth so there is no option to give birth to itself. So God must be uncreated. Meaning it has no choice but to exist unless it can commit suicide. It can give birth to stuff. That is called "God's creation". Thoughts?
  9. Sorry, I couldn't help myself hahahahah. Your thinking and our thoughts are pointless. Seek what is the case. But I'll indulge you and say this: "God didn't create itself" (or "did") implies a past and a logical span of time Reality, God is Self-Creating -- right now. You can realize this. Because you ARE this Self-Creating God. You are too wrapped up in logic. Consider the possibility that the limits of your imagination aren't the limits of reality. God (=Reality) can't commit suicide, can't be dead, can't "become alive", it is Life itself.
  10. Hey everyone, so from time to time I can fall into depression, hopelessness, and suicidal thoughts. So I thought I would write a list of the tools I’ve learned to get out of this head space. 1. Get enough sleep. When we aren’t sleeping well our brains don’t function and getting depressed or losing control of our emotions becomes very easy. 2. Call someone. Call a friend, family member or suicide/ mental health hotline. You’d be surprised how good you feel right away. Socialize. 3. Check your diet. When your diet is poor it affects your mental health. Eat healthy foods. 4. Take action! Instead of feeling hopeless and trapped take action on what you know you need or want to do. Just doing it, even when you initially don’t feel like it makes a huge difference. 5. Vent in a forum or journal. 6. Read books about cognitive behaviour and remind yourself of your values. 7. Journal, write lists, to do’s, your values, and affirmations. 8. Move your body! Exercise. Walk, run, lift weights or do yoga or Qigong. 9. Meditate, body scan, feel present. Smile into your body. 10. Let go, surrender and accept what is. Stop smoking. Damaged lungs = chronic anxiety.
  11. @JoeVolcano Thats easy to say when you dont get hate crime for wearing what you want, called wrong pronouns and names, assumed about so much, considered a threat, not automatically accepted by family, bullied for who you are etc. Dont minimize peoples experiences. You dont even know how long theyve been questioning and how long theyve had to "grow out". Id rather have the entire cisgender community grow out of selfishness and entitlement though. You already receive more life every day, because all these things dont apply to you, not even mentioning rape and suicide statistics. There are millions of trans people in the world, its not just some petty personal cause, and they dont receive the love that you do in so many areas of life. Your life can still be difficult in other ways, but dont forget that trans people also have lives and they have the discrimination plus all the other challenges. That is what drives so many to kill themselves. If you see that as something that should be overlooked for your own comfort of not having to respect people, if you see people as radical for wanting equal rights, then thats pretty damn disgusting.
  12. I have a lot of thoughts about this. First of all... Ya'll should know I love going to drag shows. I only say this so you can understand that I am nuanced in that I don't fit into one side or the other. In fact, I am not going to a pick a side in this conversation but... Embrace not knowing, and taking into account more and more data, opinions and statistics and events over time as I go about formulating my understanding of all the related areas of understanding here. At the same time. How I look at the world and define the world is up to me. There is is a lot nuance to be looked at here, and I sense there are higher level distinctions we can make when looking at Trans rights in society. I am aware of some stats around Trans suicide, and crimes committed against transgender people. However, don't let your emotions and fears make your thinking emotionally charged... and therefore sloppy, demonizing others on the forum etc. The actual reach this particular thread is going to have isn't likely to be that deep. So, just breath, relax... lets have a conversation. I think there is a difference between being transphobic, and hating people for their identify, sexuality and preferences and then having opinions or your own metaphysics around what a man or woman is. For me, personally. A trans person is a trans person. I call them by their preferred pronouns. I'd love to hangout and get to know you. But, I do biologically born women as women, biologically born men as men. If they are born that, and identify as that then... thats how I see it. I see a transwoman as a transwoman and a biologically born woman as a biologically born woman. I think part of the issue here, is that trans people carry with them a lot of shame, and struggle to love themselves. So, when I don't completely see you the way you want me to.. you think I hate you. But, thats not true. So, do I call Transwomen women? Yes. But, when it comes to something like a bathroom, a sport, etc... I then have to take into account many other factors that involve the concerns of other members of our communities, science, peoples paradigms, the potential for dishonest actors, etc... It's really a complicated topic. I don't want to be shunned, shamed, attacked, canceled etc for people someone who is learning, who's opinions are nuanced and complicated. Not understanding, or having opinions around gender that don't match yours... Isn't hate. I love everyone. But, I am learning. Remember, gender and even sex is a construct. But, what is what? I don't know. One of my favourite songs. Your tells are so obvious Shoulders too broad for a girl Keeps you reminded Helps you to remember where you come from You want them to notice The ragged ends of your summer dress You want them to see you Like they see every other girl They just see a fa***** They hold their breath not to catch the sick Rough surf on the coast, I wish I could have spent the whole day alone Rough surf on the coast, I wish I could have spent the whole day alone Rough surf on the coast, I wish I could have spent the whole day alone with you With you, with you You've got no cu** in your strut You've got no hips to shake And you know it's obvious But we can't choose how we're made You want them to notice The ragged ends of your summer dress You want them to see you Like they see every other girl They just see a fa***** They hold their breath not to catch the sick Rough surf on the coast, I wish I could have spent the whole day alone Rough surf on the coast, I wish I could have spent the whole day alone Rough surf on the coast, I wish I could have spent the whole day alone with you With you, with you You want them to notice The ragged ends of your summer dress You want them to see you Like they see every other girl They just see a fa***** They hold their breath not to catch the sick Rough surf on the coast, I wish I could have spent the whole day alone Rough surf on the coast, I wish I could have spent the whole day alone Rough surf on the coast, I wish I could have spent the whole day alone with you With you, with you
  13. Last point- remember how i said i was really trying to be loving? What i mean by that is ive written up a list of rules/ways of acting that must be followed at all times. One example is im never allowed to show signs of anger/ displeasure incase this hurts someone. If you ask someone who knows me i promise you theyll telk yoh yhat after leaving school i never got angry. I also another long list of rules with the goal of making me SEEM more loving and warm. Why SEEM and not actually be loving? Incase people treat me the way MICHAEL TREATED TOBY and im unable to control my emotions. Also im afraid prolonged loneliness mjght make me lose touch with things like empathy. Im hoping that by acting loving and as warm as i can someday ill be able to connect with people and find a warm group of friends who will also show me some affection. Then maybe ill heal and ill be able to genuinely love others without having to force my self.instead of having to force myself to not get angry, i just wont get angry out of love. I promise you that if you ask anyone who knows me theyll tell you i tried to be loving. Please be sure to ask them about my actions in depth. Keep in mind if it is the case that im ugly, actions that i did with the aim of being loving might have been interpreted as something else. Im not an expert on human behaviour but i tried my best to be like what i thought others wanted to see in a friend. I hope one day i can show you all my rules. Please know i tried friend. But dont take my word for it. Ask my coworkers , family and people from school. Theyll tell you how i was someone who never missed to wish them on their birthday. Probe alittle more and youll find they arent too sure if they wished me. This is just a little part of my life that shows you what kind of life i lived. Btw -on my 21 st birthday this year ,nobody except close family wished me. Think about that alittle. While others 21sts are supposed to be a major event, nobody from outside my family wished me. How would that make ylu feel? Have ylu ever experienced someting similar? If you probe youll find how hard i tried to find a connection but couldnt. Another thing that has constantly been on my mind lately is the possibilty that ill die without ever having an intimate relationship. Imagine the mental turmoil of never being able to hug someone, make someone laugh, talk and share secrets all night while your significant other giggles and is happy. Especially for someone whos only goal in life is that.i dont want credit or praise and whatever jve done is inexvusable and is deserving of severe punishment until you think justice is served. but i just want to point out that in the midst of this mental ache, hopelessness,being alone without any friends for 2+ years , today at this time i made a descision to be loving. I dont know if youll ever see this or if ill ever show this to you. Again im deeply sorry. Its time i got on with my loving path now. I promise to work hard and to keep the spreading of suffering at bay for as long as i can. Not to toot my horn but i personally dont know anyone who has taken up a challenge like mine. Even david goggins had friends/ gf etc. I have to push all alone. For who knows how long? I hope one day i find friendship and companionship and no longer have to force love.i hope someone out there accepts me into their circle. I dont believe in a personel god but if a god does exist i have only 1)if you can see into the future and know im going to harm some one please take my life away today before i do And if you dont take away my life 2)if therer are other rules to follow that will make me reduce others suffering/ make me seem/be more loving please make them known to me. 3) please let my actions lead to a warm affectionate connection with someone. I mean no offence by saying i dont believe. Its just that im not convinced at the moment Γ—Γ—Γ—EDIT- if your wondering why although desperate for a relationship i never asked anyone out ,its because i always want to leave the possibilty of suicide open ie-after my parents death. If i do so i have zero chance of hurting anyone else right? As ive stated before the reason why i dont commit suicide now is because it will cause suffering to my family as jp said. Not nececerilly becUse theh love me but due to social backlash and things like thag as well. I dont want to ask someone out ajd then leave them high and dry. Instead my gameplan is to act as loving and be as warm as i can. And if that ends up being attractige someone hopefully shell make the first move. Again -i dont want to make the first move and postpone my life.just being alive causes harm to animals(even vegans during crop production) and beinh culpable in exploitinh workers who work in factories etc. Unless im absolutely lovable i dont want want to live for long and cause harm. But at the same time i must admit i hope someone is attracted to me and i get to xp what its like to cuddle,hug,kiss, laugh together, have sex,make her feel good and all that. I guese if you have alot of friends/people who get pleasure by you being alive and want to be next to you their is a chance the pleasure you give to them outweigjs the harm causes to animals/ factory workers right? Thats my line of thinking Anyway Goodbye and all the best to myself. I hope i never do so much harm that ill have to show this to someone. But who can gurantee anything right? Look up charles whitman.he was a decent man who due to a brain tumor which he wasnt responsible for became a murderer. The same thing might happen to me right? I hope it doesnt. My chosen path is clear now and i have to go and follow it --may all beings be well and happy πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜‹πŸ˜‹πŸ˜πŸ˜‹πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€β€πŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’ž And agains,please please please remeber that i tried to walk the loving path. Remember to ask family, coworkers ,people from school thanks. You dont need to take my word for it
  14. Police etc or to anyone reading this.this message is incase i harm someone by postponing. My only reason for postponing is family. At the time of writing this message i do not have an inclination to harm anyone but im in quite alot of discomfort. I havent hung out with friends or anyone except my mother and grandmother in over 2 years. Im not joking. And i dont know if ill ever get affection from anyone ever.im not trying to illicit selfpity here.this is a genuine fear i have. Ever since i can remember i always wanted a gf. But im slowly having to come to terms with the fact that i might not be able to experience the affection i wanted.and its quite uncomfortable.i know that wanting a gf is purely a selfish thing (ie-to get my emotional and physical wants met). I dont claim that wanting a gf is some nobel deed. I know its superficial and just a animalistic desire.however i still think it speaks about my natural nature.ie-friendship and affection is what i want the most. (Cars,money etc dont even come close. They arent even in the same realm) The reason why i postpone is because when i look up reddit, jordan peterson anna akana etc about not postponing they always say it will cause suffering to the family. Since my family has never abused me ive decided to postpone. And also if i dont postpone it might lead to mental health issues, substance abuse etc in my family causing them to then go and harm.this is not necessarily because they have affection for me,it might be because of backlash from society etc. Ie-my uncle recently passed away in something resembling a suicide ( we arent sure ,but it might have been as he was not mentally stable at the time due to chemical imbalances in the brain). So 2 suicides might look suspicious, causing backlash , causing my family to become unproductive menbers of society But a problem that jordan p,eterson has made me aware of is that when one spends so much time alone they tend to " brood and drift" . Causing them to become bitter and angry at the world. I might be bitter and maybe even alittle angry st the people who didnt treat me the way i wanted to (kd etc). I dont have the intention to hurt innocent people. However im afraid that like so many others who have spent time alone i might develop this intention at some point. If i do end up hurting someone i just want to apologize here. Hopefully i rememeber to show you this at the time. Im currently regulating my behaviour/actions through brute force and not really acting on feelings. If i remember to show you this in the future, i hope you understnad the events that took place beforehand leading upto what happened. I wish you had met me now. When i had made a promise to be loving. We might have been friends and you might have been able to stop me from doing what ever i was going to do. If you doubt whether i tried to be loving please ask my parents/ siblings or bosses/ teachers how i acted after leaving school. I gurantee you theyll tell you that i never got angry(even if someone insulted me), was the first to greet everyone with a smile, wished everyone on their birthdays, was polite, and always told the truth. The problem is i currently dont know if i have decided to try to be loving because of empathy or if im using brute force to go against my selfish nature because i know its right. Ive been so alone for so long i cant really tell. Please also take into account that ive never had a intimate relationship, even held hands or even spoken with someone of the opposite sex for the matter. Please think about that for a second. Someone whos main desire in life was to have an intimate relationship has never even SPOKEN to someone of the opposite sex. How many people do you know like that? I just want you to know that i really tried to be loving (ask my parents/siblings/bosses/co workers) if you disagree. The only things that i can see causing me to harm someone are prolonged loneliness (its already been 2 years) or others treating me in a way that resembles TOBY AND MICHAELS RELATIONSHIP from the office. If you see this i hope you can now get some idea to what led me to causing you harm. Im extremely sorry. If you had met me now i promise you would have thought i was warm and loving. But prolonged loneliness and thd MICHAEL TOBIES FROM THE OFFICR has led me to become something else it seems. Im very very sorry about what ever ive done. Please look into my childhood/life and i think you will not find it enviable and will understand what caused me to become what i have. Im so afraid of hurting you that im not even going to consider other possibile tracks anymore. I know theres no excuse for hurting someone but i hope this will atleast dampen whatever pain ive caused because youll be able to see that this is not the normal human perogative but a once loving mind or atleast a mind that tried to be lovinv but was twisted by loneliness , michael tobiness. And i hope my actions dont make you lose hope in humanity Again im deeply sorry for whatevet ive done. Please ask my parents,siblings etc for proof i was once loving. Ive even comeup with a way of acting happy so that i dont concern them or make them look bad in public. Im sorry this had to happen to you
  15. - Feel free to comment, ask questions, give unasked advice, use this post for resources, etc. ( all under your own risk and judgement ) Basically, the idea is that I'll be documenting and sharing my journey of chelation. I'm a noob for now, but I expect to gather a decent chunk of understanding throughout this year. This has been on my to do list for over a year now, and I've been motivated recently by Leo dropping the long awaited episode on chelation released for my birthday ?. Sadly, the episode is not as detailed as I'd like it to be and I'm afraid he may have forgotten some crucial information. But if there is time to whine, there is time to roll up my digital sleeves and get to work and research. Let's hope my journal doesn't end up being a Brian Bander's Suicide note 2.0 (RIP)
  16. Yeah great video from Leo . Though technically what I'm pointing out in this post is that we can't be certain of the ontological standards of our experience (dream ,awake ,simulation, brain in a vat etc). We can only be certain that we are conscious right now. and conscioconsciousness is the only real certain thing. I mean your first person subjective experience of the world . Right now..you reading my answer on a forum to the question , β€œHow is it possible to be certain that I am not dreaming right now?”, you are a mortal human; as such, you are experiencing the Dream of Mortal Life. You can ascertain right now that your mortal life is merely a dream by committing suicide. Unfortunately, even if you kill yourself, you will awaken in a second dream . You will at that point again believe that you really are a human; but that will also be a dream. You would then need to kill your human self to be awakened from your human state. At that point, you would know that you are an eternal human, who was having the Dream of Mortal Life.
  17. @OP for what it's worth I think you ask excellent questions, questions that actually make a difference and demonstrate motivation to figure things out. P.S. I think axiom nailed it in the other thread, physical suicide won't really solve anything, and it definitely won't wake you up. If anything, it gives physical "reality" way too much credit. While understandable, it's based in misunderstanding/misperception of your situation. The only place where you can actually effect fundamental change is your internal "reality". All the best
  18. Sorry I'm brain-drained and just gonna share something that helped me... HealthyGamerGG on YouTube has a video about suicide... Understanding how it is a feeling of worthlessness and like it's impossible to get your life together, and you are just a burden to others , and that seems to me to be basically what suicidal tendency is. Idk why, but I get suicidal ideation, but I feel incongruent to really believe I would... There are times when I wasn't sure, but mostly I'm like I know I am thinking about killing myself... But I couldn't imagine the sad part of being like "goodbye cruel world" and taking my life ... Idk... I think it's something with Narcissism or anger issues towards people... But if I'm gonna kill myself, I ain't going down quietly... Like if you are gonna really do it, at least know I love everybody as human family and your suffering brings me pain as well and I wish I was better to help... But speaking brother to brother here, at least take a dirty politician with you. I mean if you take Tucker Carlson with you, I'll make sure your name lives on as a glorious hero. Just sayin... Leo has a video "it's all a mind-game" and suicidal thinking is just a mind-game... Everybody gets suicidal ideation, like driving their car off the road, it's the planning you gotta watch out for. And biggest thing, YOU CAN NOT ASK TOO MUCH FOR HELP. Not everybody will help you, but the right people will, and people don't know you need help if you don't ask. It's not a burden to ask for help, they can just say No... People WANT to help, they get dopamine highs off helping... The depression will make you not want to talk to people... You are a good guy that was dealt a bad hand dude... Suicide rates are rising due to life conditions growing harder. It's all just feelings and thoughts, and these things are like weather... Don't change your life because of some thunderstorms... There will be beautiful days ahead of you, just keep your head up bro
  19. It is never easy to understand why someone attempts suicide, and the reasons are varied and complex. Often suicide involves emotional or physical pain that someone finds to be unbearable and leaves them feeling as if there is no escape. Hopelessness. People sometimes reach a point where they feel there is no hope and no way to change that feeling. When they are hopeless, they may realize the good things in their life, making suicide a viable option to escape. Traumatic Stress. Traumatic experiences such as sexual abuse, physical abuse, assault, or war trauma can put someone at greater risk for suicide, even a great time after the event takes place. What do you think of suicide? Do you think it's a sin ? Is it really the only way out after one has become fed up with existence? Where do you think the person who killed himself go? What awaits him on the other side ?
  20. Sounds like a decent way to respect and honor yourself. To offer the self up for sacrifice so that another self can move in is metaphysical suicide. β€œI’m clearly not good enough so I guess I’ll die and let another perspective overwrite mine.” Sounds so wholesome, right? Jk. Your β€œego” never dies. Your β€œego” is just a term pointing at some aspects of your character. Just be you and grow, evolve, become. That’s what is really happening here anyways. Accept it. Leave death and metaphysical brutality for later.
  21. Sadghuru and some other astral projection youtuber (Ryan cooper) say that suicide will simply trap you in the astral realm for a very long time, where you will work trough your karma by reliving your nightmares constantly OR upon death you will become disembodied and basically the first thought/tendency that pops up will be projected and magnified infinitely. So being fearful will get you to unimaginable paranoia and suffering. This game is rigged and not even death promises relief from the loneliness and sheer insanity of it all
  22. @puporing I've never tried to argue it wasn't just an ego death. In fact, I am going through a process of understanding, contemplating and recontextualizing and allow multiple interpretations. People generally don't. I didn't assume you were trying to commit suicide. I have taken it to experience a total ego death. Which, can feel like I am dying. I know you are upset with me given your interpretations of my post. But, I don't like being called a weirdo of people assuming I am coming here with a bad intention. I am someone who has done many trips, and I think I would like to be spoken to in a respectful way. I consider myself relatively loving and have peoples best interests at heart... Glad you are okay. I've seen people have really bad reactions to these substances. People can totally lose function, not know where they are, have trouble breathing, spit everywhere, puke.... ego death can be totally disorienting and cause panic, heart rate, puking, etc... I don't know what aspect is the chemical and what aspect is ego death. It's hard because we all have different genetics. I can see someone dying potentially if they are not careful. 5Meodmt is dangerous. Sometimes I need time to expand my thoughts and reference experiences. I think you know your own direct experience. --- Will not respond. I actually really like Puporing and feel sad she is speaking to me like this... Best. Consider reading what I wrote when you are less triggered and times gives you a chance to recontextualize. I believe you.
  23. Don't try to help a borderline person if you're not planning to go through it all the way. The confusion and loss experienced by a borderline after you help them initially and then leaving them midway can actually worsen their symptoms associated with feeling discarded, abandoned, lonely, rejected and left clueless. They can experience another bout of intense anxiety, Vulnerability, breakdown of trust and general hopelessness after you left them. They will recoil into a shell and never fully recover. They might not want another relationship or get quickly into another toxic relationship to avoid feeling wounded or Abandoned. This increases their chances of being abused and mistreated in relationships and the vicious cycle continues to the point where they will commit suicide to put an end to their suffering in relationships by killing themselves. Also being around people that the borderline hates or dislikes can be a harrowing emotional experience for them. Forcing them to like someone they do not like can make them feel miserable. It's like taking away all the toys from a child. The borderline becomes depressed, anxious and vulnerable around people they do not like. They simply hate it. And can experience agitation. They feel exploited by people in positions of authority and always live in fear around anyone with authority. Being around people that the borderline likes can induce a plethora of feelings ranging from feeling happy, nice, alert, excited, horny, sexual, romantic, sensual, pleasant, intimate, they will open up more rapidly, they can feel comfortable and at ease, they won't feel hostile, aggressive, and will be gentle, polite, friendly, submissive, caring and genuinely very very sweet to the point it would appear unreal. They will trust these people a lot, almost trusting them blindly and deeply. Their mental attachment and trust will be severe and their trust won't diminish even if you abuse or hurt them. They will only lose trust if you continue to hurt them. This makes them extremely vulnerable and exposed to long durations of abuse as they do not realize that they are being abused as a result of excessive trust placed into the person abusing them. What this means is that their either trust or do not trust. BPD onion personality Psychopathic behaviors Self absorbed behaviors Lying behaviors Manipulative behaviors Introverted behaviors Self image issues BPD Dissociation I suffered some memory loss and dissociation last month. Symptoms of BPD dissociation
  24. People should stop psychoanalyzing others online. Just having multiple relationships and suicide attempts does not necessarily make someone BPD. BPD is a mental pattern diagnosed by psychiatrists. Even people with trauma can have multiple relationships and suicide behaviors. I don't think she has BPD because she has never mentioned such a thing. She is quite stable when she speaks for her to have bpd. BPD people don't act like her. We are very sensitive. If a relationship didn't pan out, we won't be having 5 marriages. We turn avoidant after breakups. Certainly not bpd.
  25. I have heard that Reckful suffered Bpd. I suffer from bpd and I know how it must feel. This shit has been bothering me what Dr K did to him. I just want to know if anyone on the forum has information on whether Reckful committed suicide or not This has been emotional for me. Can anyone give me truthful information on this?