Nevon

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Posts posted by Nevon

  1. Posted

    I had these very intense desire to understand what reality it's all about, i took ketamine and meditate , i came to a state where my belief system was crushed,

     

    it open up a possibility everything i knew it's just ideas and concept and it could be wrong, and here comes the big question, what is the ultimate Truth? I put my focus on what is really going on right now, i came to the conclusion, it's only an appearance and sensation,bubble of consciousness constantly shape shifting into different motion that play out story of my life ,

     

    how is this even possible? later on i having a full blown energy rising shit going on,that moment i had a strong sense of my entire reality its made up of consciousness and i realize god decide to manifest my entire reality this is why im having this first person experience 

  2. Posted

    Has anyone notice that in Reality,Everything it's just appearing and disappearing within the bubble of consciousness,including thoughts,sensation,visual,sound.. literally everything , include my whole existence are appearing and disappearing every single day,  it's so strange to interpretate reality in direct experience, 

    I look at my direct experience  and trying hard to squeeze the juice out, this is what i get

    There is only this "screen" happening to me and everything in this "screen" appears and dissapear, including the screen itself .

    Im this process of appearing and disappearing, isn't that so strange, this left a big question mark on my mind.

  3. Posted

    Hi guys, this is the first time I do 3g of mushroom,I'm here to share the experience that I had, It was deeply profound and recontextualized my whole paradigms 

     

    Let's cut the story short

    Usually I only do 1-2g of shroom to explore myself, but this time I decide to go deeper, but unfortunately I didn't expect the trip goes so hard, barely can even handle, I tried to stand up but I just can't function properly, I decide to lay down and do conscious breathing  hope that I'm able to get better, at the same time I'm monitoring my consciousness, and notice that kundalini thing are doing its work, clearly felt the energy flowing through my spine and forehead

    And next I was in the peak of my experience, all my emotion just happening at once, I feel happy, sad, angry, hopeless, love, I thought I was dying, the horror of death are approaching to me, I'm at the border of alive and death, I did not let go fully, I just let go 30%, and next was magical

    I enter into a very strange state of consciousness , the supriseness feeling that suddenly arise,i was genuinely suprise that I found myself

    "congratulation, look who you have you found, it's me, I am you" 

    The trip goes full celebration mode, balloon and party visual appearing, I was in total bliss, its like the first time you find out who you truly are! 

    And next was super mind blown, I was directly conscious about how I manifest my own reality, I am literally imaginating my own existence, i heard Leo said God is imaginating everything,I think a lot of time I just don't get it, but this time I verified the statement, witness the truth. 

    I'm conscious about all these enlightenment guru, it's all me trying to make myself fully realize my true being, it was super weird. 

    And the trip coming down I come back to my ordinary state, felt a little bit different, I will take some time to digest the experience, hopefully the next time I'm able to get full insight

    Thanks for reading and pardon my English 

  9. Posted · Edited by Nevon

    You are awareness, when you are looking at the wall (which is awareness) you already aware of awareness , you just don't realize yet.

    The wall are not saperate from awareness, it is awareness.

    So when you look at the wall, yes you are aware of the wall and simutanously you are aware of awareness.

    Based on direct experience

    There is an appearance(screen/awareness),and everything that appear in the screen are you ,for example like the wall, the wall are you.

  10. Posted · Edited by Nevon

    I really hate the concept of "you are this you are not that  "

     

    Clearly there is one experience of  seemless totality that we call it the self/consciousness , everything appear in the consciousness are self , my body are me, my tv are me, my phone are me, literally everything is me.

    Emotion happening in me and i am aware of emotion are actually me.

     

  13. Posted · Edited by Nevon

    i have done ket more than 600 time , after i've experience approaximately 400+ i got a full blown kundalini effect, so what it does is to suck me into a mystical realm what i call it the "kundalini k hole" and i am fully consciousness observing everything about it, my third eye and crown chakra pulsing sensation like some object struck inside

    And then i started to feel chi energy depart from my body spinning around me,there are some interesting part of kundalini k hole, i have seen humanoid doing things like some agenda going on and then my visual field are like astral projection i cant really control where do i fly , something controling the movement, it know how to turn left and right and going inside tunnel and then found a machine like object then the "screen" zoom towards the object and do something on it, immediately my heart chakra blast off i got some weird bliss spiritual sensation every since that day..yeah thats my ketamine story ,one in a while i still do trip on ket to check out whats going on inside

     

     

  15. Posted · Edited by Nevon

    based on my direct experience there is only an appearance, simply this experience, i existed as this experience,the self is the existance itself,everything happening right now is EVERYTHING,the experience keep changing but "i" existed as the experience itself are aware of the experience changing.

    question: are you the laptop that locates in front of your body  

  17. Posted

    Eversince I watch Leo video about "distinguish actuality and concept" , and "what is perception" kinda recontextualized my whole reality

    I felt like my entire life became this floating bubble of consciousness the colour was painted inside,  the pixel constantly changing. 

    I ground myself in actuality, anchor my awareness in the presence moment, strip away all the labels and believe ,observe the reality as it is, I stop asking myself what is reality/what am I, because I realize whatever answers came out it's just another thoughts & concept which equally untrue,compare thoughts and my hand and notice that my hand seems so damn real and that is truest thing ever. 

    I used to feel uncomfortable when someone mock me and trying to make fun of me ,after practicing grounding in actuality i am able to "block concept" so whatever they try to say to hurt my ego feeling it became meaningless,to me its just a sound lolol,and also the moment when they stop talking it became a past memory and i don't cling on that concept,because in actuality "the moment they mocking me" already dissapear,it does not exists, so in actuality there is no problem, why would I want to feel bad about things that does not exist. 

    And I realized most of the time in actuality there is no problem ,it's just the thoughts keep popping out and create a illusion of problem and constantly worry about shit ,nowadays whenever I feel my negative emotion spike up, I keep remind myself all problem it's just a concept and it's not real, in actuality there is no problem, just look at what's happening right now and notice the visual are here, the sound are here everything is perfectly normal so where is the problem? Unless there's a guy holding gun pointing at you,  that I would consider as a deep problem. 

     

     

  22. Posted

     i got to admit most of the time everything seems automatic,who is controlling the body,i don't know,but sometime i got to make an important decision to ensure life goes on, is decision making really an illusion? So the decision making appear to be real but in reality no one is making the decision? man..this is so difficult to grasp 

    Ok lets be solid here, i am moving my hand right now, in actuality the hand is moving, so are u trying to say in reality its just the hand moving on its own but no one controling ?