narkuser

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Posts posted by narkuser

  1. Posted · Edited by narkuser

    After years consuming this content, I see myself disagreeing more and more with some of these ideas.
    - Forcing yourself to do stuff: "right action", self-discipline, "you are disrespecting life by not doing the work"... It's a bit like religion, where you must feel guilty when you are not doing "the right thing" (even when I took time to write and dissect my true values, long term goals that I would want to achieve)
    - "Life is beautiful", "block your negative thoughts", "you can be in awe just looking at your hands, nature, etc". Toxic positivity. I think life doesn't have a lot of value, but I feel much better when I wake up accepting this and having low expectations.

    Like... chill... life is mostly suffering for no good reason. Just do what you want, that's what will feel the best. Everything is in constant decay, let go of trying to make it better. Let go.

    I'm nihilistic and cynical I guess, but now I think that's the right way.

  5. Posted · Edited by narkuser

    @MrBean I agree, trying to build it now!

     

    @supremeyingyang Definitely. I keep this in mind all the time.

     

    @Flowerfaeiry I think you are right that I don't need to call myself lazy, and make an identity of something temporary.

    I think I'm not pushing myself in an unhealthy way these days, as I have in the past. That's why I'm trying to figure out a way to make myself naturally want to work, instead of forcing it.

    For making goals small, I think I'm finally doing it right. I'm just doing 5min/day of working in my resume/github(for software jobs). This is my second day doing it. Hopefully I can build momentum from this.

    For unintegrated trauma, I might have something, because since many years I clench my teeth in my sleep (still researching to try to fix, but it's sticky). But I think this doesn't block me from the things I want to do at the moment.

    Thanks for all these ideas!

  6. Posted

    maybe this is too obvious but it works for me, and I would try it before getting on medication(if you haven't tried it already):

    Run. Run as far as you can, until you reach complete physical exhaustion. (perharps on a treadmill if you can't leave the house)

    I think this always gives enough "neurochemical" relaxation. From that base I find easier to do more advanced stuff like meditation or doing therapy on myself with self-help materials, to get more persistent benefits.

  7. Posted

    @Ulax I knew about that book, but I had not payed enough attention to it. Actually, the concepts in there, which I recently remembered from other materials, are the thing getting me to take action today. Reducing the requirements of taking action to the minimum, building habits from ridiculously small beginning steps. This is actually working for me. Hopefully I can build into bigger work habits this way. Thanks for the reminder!

  9. Posted · Edited by narkuser

    @itsnutsandbolts Thanks, I think this is great advice. It makes sense to stop just consuming and focusing more on action, on smaller steps.

    @Razard86 Certainly I have some lack of confidence because maybe I won't have enough energy for commitments would have to make in a job or anywhere, but its all subjective and this feelings can be controlled I think, as you say. Thanks.

    @Yarco Thanks, it's great to hear that stuff like this worked for you. I like the idea of playing this again and again as a way to brainwash myself and get more of that warrior energy. And it's something very practical, for sure I'm going to start putting some of these in my phone. (I'm going to have to find the ones that feel the least cheese for me at first though lol)

  10. Posted · Edited by narkuser

    @hoodrow trillson yeah, it seems important to not fall into those victim mentality traps, thanks!

    @Osaid Thanks this is great. I'm already doing the research about my interests and options. And I think you are right about the fears towards having discipline and obligations, so I still have work to do. And it is very inspiring to know that you were able to grow out of the situation. Thanks!

  13. Posted

    @Someone here I also think about it everyday. Like, I think rationally it is not worth it, all the effort and the bad things one has to endure, to get the good things IF you can get them. It feels like the good doesn't compensate the bad...

    BUT personally, after all this self-help, my self-esteem is high enough to the point that I could never do something to hurt myself. I can only think about helping myself. And then I watch some war movies like 300, Braveheart, Gladiator, Berserk... and I see these characters smiling in the face of hardship... which helps to change the perspective.

  14. Posted

    I'm curious about this, because I'm really stuck... I'm just another self-help junkie so I have consumed all the content, I have done the exercises about finding your values, visualizing, defining goals, breaking them into smaller goals... dissecting my limiting beliefs, optimizing my diet for energy, etc... And I'm still stuck!!

    For many months at moms basement. (And not pursuing financial independence, and living in a place where girls are more abundant so I can get some success with that..., which are my mail goals)

    Maybe I'm really addicted to comfort, or I don't care enough for some reason, or I'm too unwilling to force myself... Perhaps all the enlightenment stuff totally destroyed my ambition... I don't know...

    Do you guys have any resource that helped you do a 180º turn from lazy to driven? (I ask for something specific like this because I have already consumed the commonly recommended stuff) Maybe the answer can't be simple but I'm curious for recommendations...

  15. Posted · Edited by narkuser

    @Rishabh R I would try the classic advice for doing meditation from somebody like Eckhart Tolle. Leo probably has some specific videos about this.

    Basically sit quietly, focus on the present moment (noises, your breath, the sound of your thoughts inside your head...) Look at your stream of thought, without identifying with it. Just observe it. (Instead of being controlled by it, become quietly conscious of it.) I think that should fix it.

    Be careful what you wish for though. Become good at this, and you might start to care too little about life :D

  17. Posted · Edited by narkuser

    @Dinkle64 I feel very similar. Some money saved from the last job, living at home, minimum expenses... but money decreasing. And I don't want to work.

    It would be nice to live in some place where it's easier to get laid. But I would have to work. Not worth it, better to do nothing (for me, apparently, for now). But I don't like being stuck like this either.

    All this self-help, and we don't have a 100% method to brainwash ourselves =/

  20. Posted · Edited by narkuser

    so you are 183cm and you hate your height? Are you insane? How many people around you in the streets are taller than you?

    Anyway, get elevator shoes or elevator insoles if it makes you feel better?. You can get the insoles for like 10€ on amazon, under 5€ on aliexpress.

  21. Posted · Edited by narkuser

    10 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    ...

    Night cons:

    • ...
    • Need to go for one-night stands, forced to close same-night
    • ...

    ...

    John Anthony (JMULV) disagrees with this. He advices to collect lots of phone numbers (aim for 10-15/night, at least 5), planning the date with the girl in person to make it more solid, and then working those leads (so many that you need a calendar) with mainly copy-paste texts from his flowcharts to get laid with about 10% of them, many of them with dates straight to the house. He says pulling is overrated.?

  24. Posted · Edited by narkuser

    17 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    I have always said that online is very different and it all hinges on looks.

    I must disagree a little based on experience.

    I used these pictures (https://ibb.co/FWh246V) of myself and I got 15 likes after the initial 24h boost that tinder gives you.

    2 weeks later, I created a new profile with these new improved pictures ( https://ibb.co/6vTGcwp )and I got about 40 likes in those initial 24h. That's almost 3x likes 

    I still didn't haven't gotten laid with this during the pandemic. I was able to get laid with like 4 girls before the thing, through the years.(not using it constantly) (Im in a 600k population city in Spain)
    But I definitely think improving your pics could put some guys above the necessary threshold to get laid. For example:

    • Good lighting so your skin looks younger, eyes shining
    • Pictures taken from lower angles and proper cropping so you look taller
    • Dressed with good style
    • Good body language
    • No poor quality pictures

    I agree looks are the biggest thing online but not everything.

    BTW taking good pictures is a lot of work. Im currently doing it with a Xiaomi phone with GCam installed, a tripod and a remote bluetooth controller, everything really cheap.

  25. Posted · Edited by narkuser

    26 minutes ago, AtmoShark said:

    If you can't hide it, feature it: don't get those stupid ass shoe inserts. Own your current height. Come from a frame of "tall guys are awkward, lanky, and can't even stand up with proper posture." Do you think Tom Cruise isn't confident and charismatic at a relatively short 5'7"? If he was placed into a room where no one knew who he was, do you think he'd be standing around in lifted shoes obsessing over his height, or would he be charismatically working the room and sharing his radiance?

    tom-cruise-shoe-lifts.png

    Tom Cruise actually uses elevator shoes.

    I can't see the drawbacks. (as long as you don't use the most extreme ones)