Karla

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Posts posted by Karla

  2. Posted

    @Amilaer---

    I don’t know anyone that tried mushrooms and ended up with schizophrenia. Especially golden teacher.

    I noticed that nobody else said yes to your question. Wonder how accurate that info is on mental health and family?

    My identical twin was diagnosed with schizophrenia years ago and I’ve never had any issues with mushrooms or any other psychedelic.

    based on my experience and observing others who have done WAY more psychedelics than I, I really feel it has more to do with YOUR psychology than anything else.

    Your unpacked ideas, concepts, beliefs and things more so than family members with mental health issues.

    The actualized videos are a good way to learn more about your own psychology and prepare yourself.

  3. Posted

    7 hours ago, StarStruck said:

    @Karla if you tell the regular AA or NA follower this their head will explode. They are very rigid about their rules and just entertaining the idea of psychedelics is a too much

     

    I know right! I think that’s why I was so surprised— AA has such a conservative vibe, which is too bad. It’s like the complete antithesis to change LOL.

    Makes sense to me also because when I go to in person, group ceremonies there are always a lot of people who want to stop drinking or drugs. Makes psychedelics seem so practical even though we are into the mystical and higher consciousness aspect of them here.

  4. Posted

    I am so tickled by this ha ha.

    Someone posted a link to an article in a micro dose chat I’m in and I find it SO entertaining, he he.

    ”Those who preach that the only way to achieve lasting sobriety is through total abstinence from alcohol and all other drugs may be surprised to learn that the supposed patron saint of abstinence, Bill Wilson, the co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, was a firm believer in the ability of LSD to free some hardcore alcoholics from their addiction.”

    The article is interesting here it is: https://www.lucid.news/bill-wilson-lsd-and-the-secret-psychedelic-history-of-alcoholics-anonymous/

    Also interesting that Bill Wilson couldn’t kick cigarettes using LSD.

    I wonder how many other healing programs have a secret psychedelic step, he he? 

  5. Posted

    Go as deep as possibly into your why/ intention. Micro dose mushrooms to help you integrate after BIG, trips (my fave).

    Be careful what you consume beforehand too, because some of these posts in here are creepy. I’ve never had a bad trip- don’t be so scared that you spook yourself out lol. It’s always more mind blowing than scary anyways.

    Give yourself lots of space, a day before at least to relax, so you can leave other people’s sh*t behind and go deeply into you.Give yourself space afterwards too, at least a day. ♥️ 

  6. Posted

    19 hours ago, Bazooka Jesus said:

    See, the freedom to stop playing the game is the freedom to fully immerse yourself in the game. If that sounds like a paradox to you, don't worry... once you truly start to realize that which is being pointed at, a lot of stuff that might have sounded incredibly paradoxical before will all of a sudden make perfect sense to you.

    Ok thank you @Bazooka Jesus

    ☺️ I feel like I’m here within this realization right now and it’s definitely NEW AF in comparison to other times when I *thought*I was here if that makes sense. I’m sure there’s a zillion more layers to it but I also feel like *holy moly, WHY NOT play?*.

    Feels like that is kinda the point- to PLAY.

  7. Posted

    13 hours ago, Someone here said:

    Your essence or true nature is NOT your personality ..that's all society's conditioning. You have been taught to be serious and regrious. But I tell you the truth ..life is a game ..a play. Nothing is serious. There is nothing to be afraid from .all is well .everything is exactly as it should be. .

    Thanks for posting… In your perspective can you contrast “your essence/ true nature” vs “personality” a bit.

    I’m currently feeling conflicted because my teacher recently shifted into this similar stance like Osho (she always quotes Mooji) and it seems like NOT playing the game at all. ? I honestly think there’s a more evolved aspect, which is allowing your true nature FULLY.

    For me it seems people who are spiritually advanced have WAY MORE personality because they are free to play the game. How do we know who’s playing the game and who’s getting played or just stuck at a realization?

    I was about to post a question, then I saw your post he he. I want to open my mind about it.

  8. Posted

    On 9/7/2023 at 8:59 PM, Kamo said:

    @Karla Awesome glad you had a good time. Your first time is always the most powerful. So your second time id stay at the same amount again, It wont be the same because now your familiar with it. Did you have the teeth grinding and shit like that? lmao? I forgot to recommend gum. Expect to feel depressed for a little bit. 

    So, I actually did have some teeth grinding lol. I just figured it was due to the intensity… I didn’t feel depressed really but that emotional high seemed so far away that night, the next day I was good. I did two days micro dose and that may have helped though.

    I’ll wait to do it again.

  9. Posted

    I don’t know how people are just eating them LOL. I’ve done 2 & 3g (chocolate, tea & gummies) and I don’t have visuals or anything just emotional roller coaster because I’m forced to see how mean I am to myself alongside how loving and pure real life is. It’s cleansing/ healing.

    I feel like mushrooms are perfect for healing stuff you don’t even know you have like childhood traumas and stored memories.

    I feel like people who take massive doses have built a tolerance because mushies are really hard on your stomach. Would not recommend that.

  12. Posted

    11 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

    MDMA drains serotonin from your brain, so for two to three days afterward your brain will have a shortage of serotonin. the more conscious you are, the more you will notice this, and it is extremely unpleasant. It is also cardio toxic if used very often, and seems that can cause permanent damage in the cells that produce serotonin, but this is not sure and I guess It could happen only with chronic use. 

    but not only this, on a psychological level I find it false. it makes you loving and open in an artificial way. Like a sugar overload in your mind. that is why it is so successful at night party.  It helps interaction and openness to others, but it is not you who opens up, it is a sweet and cloying faker, who the next day will give you a double hangover, that of serotonin and that of the faker

    Interesting… I haven’t noticed anything big, after every trip I worry I will have ego backlash or that I’ll completely lose the experience. 

    Outside of that- no side effects yet.

    I recently read in this microdosing newsletter that MDMA was a good add on for people who typically have bad trips and more likely to experience self compassion.

    I feel like it may be good for anyone with a lot of baggage or trauma to take alone or with another medicine.

    IMG_6809.jpeg

  13. Posted

    3 hours ago, Yimpa said:

    Wow, my psychiatrist asked me if I wanted to try her coconut water last time I went. She asked me twice, yet I refused both times because I had a slight allergic reaction when I tried coconut water a looong time ago.

    I’m going to actually ask her for it next time I go. Life’s too short to be hung up on past bad experiences!

    @Yimpa yes try but maybe make sure you’re not allergic.

    I think they are all so different. I also really enjoy harmless harvest brand- with pulp = really tasty. I kinda experiment and try different ones and the options are better than ever now.

    some coconut water is just not good. my favorite kind is actually a bit processed ha ha but still my fave flavor wise.

  16. Posted

    1 hour ago, OBEler said:

    @Karla@Karla Can you describe your intense experience in Detail? Maybe you experienced a common normal dose. If you never took psychedelics before you cannot Know the reference how intense something can get. Maybe you are very sensitive. So would be good to know 

    Do you have hangover effects? 

    @Jowblob

    @OBEler No hangover effects but I didn’t sleep that great Monday night but slept good lat night. No headache the next day or low feelings- perhaps it’s too soon to crash?

    I also didn’t have an appetite for about 24 hours but I ate anyways. I prepped noodles for dinner but ended up eating oatmeal instead with yogurt at about 7ish pm. 

    I just did a report! Ha ha, it’s so healing to share for some reason and I could do this more. This first MDMA trip was a BIG gratitude bomb and somewhat uncomfortable physically but I think it was what I needed.

    I actually micro dose a bit after a macro trip to help me integrate. IMO that’s the best use of micro dosing— for integration. I went to heaven on MDMA. so feels more manageable to micro dose (mushrooms) to help me sprinkle it lightly into everyday life.

    So, I will microdose mushies for two or three days this week. Journal heavily in these days and spend time outside and in meditation… maybe some breathwork and listening to my heart for guidance.

     

    Feels like I have to give myself a chance to bring the lessons/ heaven into daily experience. THANK YOU ?? so much, ha ha.

  17. Posted

    120 mg MDMA -Death by Gratitude

     

    Thank you Thank you Thank you. I wrote this before bed the day of my trip and forced myself not to change anything LOL.

    Writing this before I forget or try to back out of writing it, he he. On 9/4 I got up, did a 20 min meditation, walked outside 30 mins., hydrated, journaled, worked out and then watched a module in a training I’m taking. I drank about 12 ounces of coconut water (fave is Vita CoCo- Pressed, SO good).

    I was slightly worried I’d be dehydrated because this happens often when I trip and leads to headache and nausea so, trying coconut water to help my avoid this.

    I did a quick paulo santo cleanse in my my room and around my body. Probably one of my favorite smells ever.

    I showered, wrote out my intention and ended up dosing later than I initially planned around 12:45p on an empty stomach, except for the coconut water also helps to stave off hunger pangs.

     

    Before I plugged the MDMA water, I spoke my intention into the syringe. And felt into it and said thank you. (I learned this from a bufo facilitator and absolutely love it. I’ve been practicing it with everything because it’s so powerful.)

     

    Intention from my notebook:

    Heart opening heart wisdom

    Gratitude, more me, more free & more in love with this experience. Deep, deep knowing. Deep, deep appreciation, feeling & discerning heart guidance over everything.

    My lessons always land.

     

    I laid down, answered an e-mail quickly that I had forgotten to send and I could feel that it was starting to take effect pretty and it felt uncomfortable to be looking at my screen. I made myself comfortable and spoke my intention aloud again. Thank you ?? 

    About 1:15p I could feel the come up pretty strong and I had a fear that perhaps I took too much. Full body tingles and a lot of sensation OF the body. I surrendered because there was no changing it now. Joy slowly increasing. Full body tingles and random tickles. A lot of heart tickles almost butterfly-ish. 

    I was really enjoying the sound of my inhales and exhales— a bit “static-y and surreal” along with the music and my hearing seemed intensified. Everything sounded SO beautiful, it made me tear up. I got super cold and grabbed socks to put them on and noticed I felt quite dizzy sitting up.

     

    I felt dizzy to get up again and drink water but something kept reminding me to drink so I gave in and then laid back down.

     

    Wowww. You’re kidding me this is life. You can’t be serious?? OMG. Oh my God— this work is pure magic. All I could say was thank you, wow wow wow. Holy wow, THIS path… You’re kidding me! Are you effing serious, this feels too good to be real? Sobbing.

     

    I am heaven. Living in heaven. I felt like I would be crushed with gratitude, that I would die the feeling was so BIG. Bigger than “me”.

     

    Wow. Holy WOW. I said aloud, you can’t be serious? It’s too good, too beautiful -feels so good just to be.

    I felt I would be crushed again and die so, I surrendered. I said, I surrender.

     

    It felt like my heart burst and just sobbed. Saying thank you between sobs.

    This can’t be real… are you serious, are you SERIOUS, I get to do this work? There’s nothing to fix, so much more to see, to feel, to allow.

     

    I think 90 minutes in was the highest point around this time. Still enjoying my breathing and the music was so beautiful. Focused all my intention on my inhales and exhales —static-y and my whole body feeling like air.

     

    Around 2 hour mark I don’t have anymore water so, I ask my sister to come refill my water and bring me more and I am SO GRATEFUL she is there and can help me because it’s hard to get up. I realize I can’t say thank you enough but say thank you anyways when she brings me some.

    I drink and lay down.

    Around this time spirit told me I could leave Karla behind, if I wanted. I couldn’t stop sobbing. (Journaled more on this later because at the time I felt so torn with this).

     

    I thought if I leave her, what if she comes back? It’s okay & she can. It’s all totally fine. So, I said okay. Thank you for bringing me this far. Thank you for not stopping. Thank you.

     

    After about 3.5-4 hours I feel more normal but still very dizzy.

    I had a headache starting around 5p, I kept drinking water and it seemed to wear off.

     

    I wanted to have cacao with my mystery school sisters at 5:30p (on Zoom) but I wasn’t sure if I could sit up and feel okay for it. My cacao so was sooo good, he he. I could feel this sweet sadness that my trip was over and that I had a lot to integrate at this time as well but still feeling SO grateful.

     

    I did make it for the circle. They did rape but do not like rapé so I sipped cacao and shared my experience. I broke into tears but it’s so good to share in an open space— so emotional still and I shared with tears and they held space. It was amazing!

     

    Takeaways:

    MDMA has some bufo vibes from my last bufo experience but just much less intense. There is this immense gratitude that feels soooo healing to the body but also that there is SO much I don’t know, that all I can do is surrender to the bigness of it. That I have no choice but to surrender.

    The heart holds my clarity and I can tap back into this.

    Psychedelics expand my capacity to feel and this is a powerful intelligence we learn to suppress. All the feels have a beauty.

    I’ve been eating cleaner than clean— lol. No treat foods, no alcohol at all for almost 3 months and this does affect how the body receives the medicine. I was already pretty healthy with my food choices but subtle changes matter more than I ever imagined.

    I could do this work my whole life and there would still be oceans more and I can be grateful for this or see it as challenging, either way I keep going anyways.

    I feel so grateful to find Leo and find this community.

    I keep having these BIG gratitude bombs with trips so, I this must be what I need right now and I can totally see that.

     

  20. Posted

    On 9/3/2023 at 9:57 PM, Kamo said:

    @Karla I found the sweet spot dose to be exactly 120mg. using a microgram scale. I hit that mark multiple times during different sessions with great results, with the ability to redose 3-4hrs later with the same amount. further redoses are not recommended. This is orally, and being a female id drop it to 100-110. Your planning to plug So i also will contribute into the consensus answer from the wise ones here of 100mg for your first time.

    Hmmmm. I may try redoes 3-4 hours later next time! I did 120mg and had a SUPER intense experience so could have maybe done the 100mg or 110mg.

  21. Posted

    19 hours ago, Jowblob said:

    @OBEler I'm not advising i just said i took it first time. You can't die from something that you perceive and associate with "consciousness raising" if you have no intention to die the dose won't matter specially if your mind associates it with "consciousness raising/love" etc..  The choice of death/leaving your physical body is always your choice, so if you consciously take cyanide and associate it with death this is total surrender to god / actual death of your ego.  You should've known that with your experiences.

     

    And even 600 mg of mdma doesn't even come close to 100ug of lsd-p1. 

     

    Why do you think the effects of 600mg of mdma were minimum to me on an empty stomach? Because my mind associated it with a state of consciousness of saints/unconditional love based on david hawkins books. It was set to 575 there, lsd was more like 700. It's all about your mind, my friend

    How is lsd-p1 different than just LSD?

  24. Posted

    1 hour ago, Razard86 said:

    R- Mode is IMAGINARY their is no R-MODE get rid of the filter!!!! All filters are LOGIC!!! I'm not talking about ANY MODE I am talking about the absence of everything...I'm talking about NOTHING. Realize you are NOTHING so you can experience EVERYTHING. There is no R-MODE or L-MODE! Listen to yourself you sound like a robot!! What you gonna tell me....Beep Beep Beep must activate R-Mode now!!! You see what I mean? Drop this logical B.S. all that is for survival.

    Imaginary is NOT just some arbitrary word for existence....if you close your mind....and focus...you can become aware that there is NO DIFFERENCE between dreaming in what you call sleep...and what you call real life. I can tell by your posts you truly do not get it....there is MUCH FEAR IN YOU. But you are pretending that is not the case. Until you get rid of your fear of insanity....you just playing around. Nothing wrong with that....but what's the point? You can't discover anything truly meaningful doing what you are doing.

    For example...I recently became aware.....I can hear with my eyes!! MY EYES!!! If you stay within the materialistic paradigm....that is what you will experience. But if you go where nobody has gone before, be an actual trailblazer....you get to see the mystical aspect of life and discover....it doesn't actually make ANY SENSE!!!! Logic is DELUSION!!!! Reality IS NOT LOGICAL it only APPEARS that way....but it is not bound by it and so it doesn't have to abide by it.

    Interesting… hearing with your eyes ? cool.

    He did say it was his first trip, maybe he keeps going & some day he makes a similar “hearing with his eyes” type discovery.