Ask yourself this question if you're feeling stuck
Ask yourself this question if you're feeling stuckWhat's the next step? You can't always see the big picture. But you can see the next step that's in front of you. And after you take that step you will see the step that comes after that. The path slowly reveals itself to you as you keep walking.
High Consciousness Turn Off
High Consciousness Turn OffMost people will react that way to you if you bring up these types of topics, as they see no value in it. Their eyes will just gloss over most of the time. Or they'll get uncomfortable because they're afraid they can't keep up with someone who's into dense topics and that they'll be judged.
But to tell you the truth, as a woman who is genuinely interested in these types of topics, I don't care much whether the guy I'm into is interested in them. I really only care about how his personality and mannerisms are and how that mixes together with his looks and lifestyle. Common interests are nice, but they don't make an attraction. So, if a woman doesn't share those common interests, it especially isn't going to make an attraction. She'll just react like most people... eyes glossing over, wondering if you're crazy, and/or intimidation by the dense nature of the topics.
So, in the immortal words of Shania Twain... "That don't impress me much." But seriously, listen to that song, and it pretty much gives you an insight into how women DON'T get attracted to guys, and how any individual positive quality doesn't really make a dent.
That said, he has to be able to carry on a conversation with me. That's a must. I have to be able to have deep conversations where I feel like we're on the same wavelength, otherwise it would be a major damper in the relationship.
But if a guy showed me he was interested in personal development, non-duality, etc., I would be like, "Oh hey. Me too." And I would log that in my mind like, "That's cool." But it's not a turn-on. I know a ton of guys who are into this stuff, and I'm not attracted to any of them. It's just kind of like, "Oh cool. We probably share some commonalities." But it doesn't spark any interest beyond platonic interest... the heart and libido want other things.
Is it worth going out with someone who doesn't fit perfectly with your values?
Is it worth going out with someone who doesn't fit perfectly with your values?@Aquarius Those are solid Green values. Perhaps you could find a healthy Orange person to date. Many people centered in Orange are not dogmatic ideologues obsessed with materialism. Many are moderate Orange looking to improve themselves to achieve personal goals and meet their personal needs. When I was Orange-centered, I dated a Green-centered woman. As well, when I was Green-centered I dated and Orange-centered woman. So, I've experienced it from both sides. I would say a few sources of conflict in the relationship were:
1. One person being over-analytical and trying to "figure everything out" and "fix things". Other person, wanting to talk about feeling, emotionally connect.
2. One person placing higher value on material things. Other person placing higher value on personal experience and connection.
3. One person seeing the relationship as transactional - two people each trying to meet their own needs. The other person wanting to build a sense of "us". Shared purpose and meaning.
Spiral Dynamics Infographic
Spiral Dynamics InfographicIt depends, some of them are Blue. Many of them are a mix of Red/Blue.
Hitler was the epitome of ethnocentrism: my race, my people, my civilization is superior to all others.
Hitler also had Red aspects because he had a lust for absolute personal power.
Religion is almost always a part of one's ethnicity. Religion does not exist in a vacuum.
If you are religious, your religion was indoctrinated into you as part of your culture and geographic location. If not for that, you would not be religious. You might be spiritual, but not religious. Religion is culture. And their own culture is what ethnocentrists strive to defend.
Jews are a great example of how ethnicity and religion go hand in hand.
Not a genius, but integral and multi-perspectival and well-read/educated. It does not have to be formal education, but you must read books.
That chart is not comprehensive. There are many examples which were not shown due to space restrictions.
Hippies need a more cerebral integral approach. More book smarts. Learning systems thinking would help them. And studying Spiral Dynamics would help them a lot.
Also, laying off the weed might help them
A nonlinear, hyper-intuitive sort of rationality which is more right-brain dominant vs left-brain dominant, and which focuses on holistic big picture thinking rather than technical analysis or linear logical proofs.
Vision-logic fuses rationality with intuition, consciousness, and high emotional intelligence.
Albert Einstein is a great example of vision-logic. He was not the typical cold-hearted, paint-by-numbers academic. Also, Richard Feynman is a good example.
Vision-logic is more playful, whimsical, creative, than traditional logic and very importantly it can handle paradox, which traditional logic cannot.
Douglas Hofstadter is a good example of vision-logic.
Question For Leo about spiral dynamics latest video
Question For Leo about spiral dynamics latest video1) That's all grist for the self development mill. The irritation other people cause you shows you which aspects of yourself need more work. They only irritate the ego, not the True Self. This is what I mean when I say life is a love simulator. You are being challenged to love more in the face of criticism and hatred. It requires courage to face and surrender your deepest fears.
2) Keep studying the model more. Read some of the books about it. Then it will be really easy to see where you're at. This model requires at least 20-30 hours of study and contemplation to start to understand. And some reading. It is a big investment, but it will be worth it.
3) My pleasure
Question For Leo about spiral dynamics latest video
Question For Leo about spiral dynamics latest video1) You can't cure a fool. He has to outgrow his own foolishness. Expect to be judged a lot by lower stages. Maybe even expect that they will kill you one day for your consciousness.
2) Higher stages have much less of those things. Life feels better at higher stages. So it's very much worth developing. Compare living in Saudi Arabia vs the US or Northern Europe. Where would you want to live if you were a woman or a minority?
3) Each of you is different. Most of you are Orange/Green probably. But some of you are Yellow/Turquoise.
Question for Leo :-)
Question for Leo :-)@captainamerica
1) Try a psychedelic and you will immediately understand. This is not possible to understand conceptually. You must experience it.
2) Hmmm... that's a bit tricky because all of those things are conceptual. What you can see is how your mind constructs those things. You can see the metaphysical and epistemic substrate of those things.
Psychedelics certainly make you 100x more creative. But it will not necessarily be productive in the way your ego-mind wants. It will be far more profound than that.
You basically will not care about science and math at this level of depth. They will seem shallow and insignificant compared to metaphysics.
During one of my solo retreats I did randomly invent a cool new patentable invention. No psychedelics were used. Just lots of meditation.
The more conscious you become the more creative you become.
Actualized.org Video Summaries!
Actualized.org Video Summaries!@Andreas Do lots of the techniques I have given you numerous times in the videos.
Meditation Journaling Reading Contemplation Shamanic breathing Psychedelics Solo retreats Visualization Body relaxation Keeping a commonplace book Etc You must start doing that shit to get results. Seriously!
What are female-led relationships like?
What are female-led relationships like?I don't know. To me, all this leading/following focus feels like putting an idea over top of a relationship and the masculine/feminine dynamic that doesn't really need to be there. And as a woman, it's tiring far more than it will ever be titillating to engage with men who are enamored by that idea. It feels like these types of men like to masturbate to the fact that they're men, in some kind of weird auto-androphillia, and it just doesn't do anything for me.
And I'm pretty sure that's the way most women think about it, as there's no shortage of men who are trying to cram themselves into the alpha mold. It's very dime a dozen with those types. Plus, it's a lot less ego-friendly to be type-cast as the follower in that narrow caricature of a relationship dynamic than as the leader. It squelches the natural flow of libidinal energy because the story tells you to make yourself smaller. And there's nothing less sexy than a man who's hung up on being the dominant one. It ironically feels very immature and try-hard... which are the very opposite of the natural Yang energy.
I remember the first time I'd heard of the dominance submission dynamic in a relationship, I was 19 and my friend Andrew's sister had married this guy Brian. And they were pretty religious. And they had vowed that she would be submissive to him and that he would be dominant and make all the decisions in order to live by God's word. And we had to laugh because their personalities didn't resemble that dynamic in any way. So, they just started acting weird trying to cram themselves into those ideas.
So, ultimately, people have their natural set-points, and when people are authentic there may be one partner that's more of a leader than the other. But creating rules around who leads (man or woman) just feels like a bunch of kids trying to be adults and fetishizing the mundane lives of men and women amd cleaving to those roles in an attempt to live out a fetish.
The way I see it, is that people will naturally lead where they have an aptitude and follow when the other partner is the more skilled of the two. And there will also usually be a bedroom dynamic that each person enjoys, as well.
So, I just feel like all the fixation on leading and following muddies up our relationship to our natural Yin/Yang energetic signature which best ebbs and flows from situation to situation. The dominance/submission stories are old and tired. Any story is just a story. And stories write over the truth.
Just do what feels right without engaging those stories, and life will be a lot more expansive and pleasurable. So, female-led and male-led relationships are okay... as long as it happens organically and no one's trying to cling to ideas.
5 blocks to life purpose I'm having
5 blocks to life purpose I'm having@XYZ Why don't you start a business which would solve many of these issues?
If you really wanted to, you could. The problem is you don't want to. You're lacking the vision, the ambition.
Changing your situation will require lots of hustle for a few years at least. But don't look of that as a negative, it's a positive. For once you will be doing something exciting with your life. That excitement leads to passion and the feeling of "being alive".
A problem with connecting spiral dynamics stages
A problem with connecting spiral dynamics stagesEach stage is a reaction to the one prior to it. Once you explore a stage to its extremes, you become dissatisfied as you see its own limitations.
For instance, once an Orange person sees that no amount of money or success can bring him happiness, he sees through this illusion and his Orange values start to break down. Thus, he is looking for a new paradigm to ground himself in, which happens to be Green - a natural reaction to the individuality of Orange by embracing communal and egalitarian beliefs.
Medication for psychosis has stopped my spiritual growth
Medication for psychosis has stopped my spiritual growthSorry to hear that. Our society is not really designed to treat these kinds of edge cases.
The advice is: take full ownership of your life. Do not expect anyone else to solve your emotional or psychological issues for you. Get a journal and start working it out yourself. Start doing research, start reading books, start watching videos. Become the expert on your condition and cure yourself.
Sounds like you got more fundamental issues to resolve before you worry about meditation.
Find a way to ease off the drugs if it is safe to do so.
You can solve this. It will just take some work.
Should I develop my Orange or should I move to green?
Should I develop my Orange or should I move to green?Debate is based on rational thought and reason. This is indicative of tier 1. Tier 2 includes additional modes of thinking including relativism and post-rational thinking. Tier 2 is not attached to beliefs or ideas. Tier 2 is about an exploration of ideas, not a debate of ideas.
There are various expression of Orange. My Orange expressions were personal achievement, science, logic and knowledge. Other aspects of Orange were not expressed, including materialism.
I somewhat agree with your idea about pursuing truth and personal goals. I've always been a seeker of truth, yet during my Orange stage I was also a seeker of knowledge. This formed an odd hybrid in which I sought truth via science. I also got into a lot of logical debates about what is true.
Overcoming adversity for personal gain is indeed a trait of Orange - which I was very good at for over 20 years of my adult life. So in that respect, I was "successful". Yet, from the perspective of evolving my consciousness, it was unsuccessful.
The Orange-level trap I see here is the idea that surrender is failure. That idea prevents one from evolving to a trans-personal level. An ego must surrender for one to transcend the ego.
I am using the term "fulfilling" in a different context. There came a point in which I recognized how shallow Orange was. I was fulfilled in Orange, yet levels deeper than Orange appeared that were not filled. There was a deep desire to fulfill these deeper levels and nothing in Orange could do it.
There is an energetic shift from tier 1 to tier 2. Tier 1 is based on personal need-based seeking energy. Tier 2 is based on exploring and discovering the magnificence of life. They are very different energetic orientations.
Overall, Tier 1 is like drinking gutter water. Tier 2 is like drinking spring water.
Curiosity is important as fuck
The Seven Principles of Leonardo Da VinciCuriosity is the most important one. If you don't have curiosity you're screwed.
Is It Possible To Stop Thinking?
Is It Possible To Stop Thinking?@CroMagna Yes it is. But it takes years of rigorous meditation.
Social Anxiety Pushed Me Towards Self-Actualization
Social Anxiety Pushed Me Towards Self-ActualizationHi.
I still have social anxiety and it's very hard to get rid of it (for those who have it) because it's wired into our nervous system.
Anyway, I have to be grateful for it because it pushed me towards self-actualization. Thus, I understood where social anxiety comes from.
As I was reading a book this paragraph struck me:
With that being said, I've never had a girlfriend and I'm 25 years old (you can guess that I'm still a virgin).
At the moment I'm pretty fine with my social anxiety because I accepted it in the sense that I'm not beating myself up because of it. It doesn't bother me that much. Meditation and reading is helping me pretty much.
The only thing that I'm afraid of is that not having intimacy and human contact will affect my health and well-being in a negative way.
I would like to be fine and happy without a girlfriend or human contact. Is that possible?
What are your thoughts on this?
LSD 150ug Trip - Jung's Anima & Psychological Insight
LSD 150ug Trip - Jung's Anima & Psychological InsightSo some backstory: this was my third trip - was 150ug of LSD-25.
This trip occurred early September, I have since had a "bad" trip and am taking a break from psychedelics for a while. But figured I hadn't seen much content relating to different aspects of Individuation (Shadow, Anima, Wise Old Man) which have been an important part of my personal development.
So I went into this trip with the intention of doing some "Inner Work" on the substance. Rather than other reality/nondual experiences I've had before.
Early on I was talking to a friend about someone, and it immediately clicked that I was projecting elements of myself onto them, my friend was saying something about the person (that they were weak-minded). I immediately burst out laughing realising how ironic it all was.
I've had some bad experiences in relationships and with women over the years, which led to my Anima (inner woman) becoming pretty warped and messed up. I went through reactionary phases of MGTOW and anti-Feminism which I was still moving through when this trip took place.
There were many different aspects of the trip that dealt with my Anima.
I heard someone walking around the house at some point in shoes, I regressed to a childhood moment and it sounded exactly like my Mother coming home and wanting to be with someone but me not being mature enough to go out and talk or hug her because I was young. I knew I needed to hug her. I was with a dog at one point. Decided to go back inside, and closed it outside. Then I saw a notification on my phone about "Breaking story: Man abandons dog alone outside". At this point I realised that the dog represented my Anima and I had walked away from it and closed it off. I had literally left it completely alone in the cold. I went back outside and sat with the dog (Pearl). When I was sitting with Pearl she looked at me, and had a chain on to keep her from running off at night. I knew she wanted the chain off and I felt this was a symbolic act for releasing my inner femininty, unchaining the Anima. I took the chain off and the dog kissed (licked) me. (From another trip, but related) I was sitting on a lakeside, on some sand. And an older couple came down. I didn't think much of it, until the woman sat down by the water and the man said something to her and then began to walk off. The woman then began to start break down crying and dissolving in terrible pain as the man walking off down the beach, leaving her in pain. --- Turns out, the couple was really there, but I was hallucinating the breakdown part as I walked closer and she was fine. I got a few other insights into myself, self-love, compassion, and these related concepts from the trip.
I got what psychological projection was, I had an aha-moment where I saw elements of myself I was projecting onto some friends. Clear as day, both negative and positive elements. All humans were a mirror of an aspect of myself. You project these positive elements as well, if you understand this is in yourself, you open yourself to self-love. Just knowing this isn't enough, you have to see it (and feel it) directly in your experience.
Dealt with my anima, I released my inner feminine from the chain that bound her. I literally released a dog from a chain, and the dog represented my Anima (inner feminine) for the entirety of the trip.
I experienced a friend becoming my mother and many other forms of the feminine. I didn't want to face how much my mother influenced my Anima, but she definitely does. I am always in her arms and she is always in mine, the yin and yang, an eternal dance of duality in which we are in taking on different forms/
At one point my friend put his arm around me, later on reality felt liked it had looped and I was in his role and put my arm around him (something I would never normally do sober). A bond that was beautiful and unbreakable. Something we had shared for all eternity in different roles and forms.
I am doing this all for myself, the thing I love most about myself is how much I would go through for myself. I would literally live an entire life and feel all the pain of existence just to get the growth out of it.
At one point, I was listening to some music, and I started hearing my future self giving a lecture on poetry and the nature of god and infinity and their interplay. The beauty of poetry is all of reality. I was older and speaking to myself from a picture of myself that I was looking at (the one I least like of myself). Which I started to find the absolute beauty in. "The great above, the original poet uses language as creation." The title of the lecture could have been something like: "God, Myself & Poetry." This really connected my to my heart and I could actually feel the pain and love in my heart physically.
A line from a poem I had written many months back popped up into my head as I was looking at this photo of myself: "A deep well of tears never cried". This made me start crying quite cathartically. And I eventually stopped hating the way I looked in this photo and began to really love myself for what made me, me!
I felt an instinct to act more socially conscious, to be more open, to defend others, to talk to people more freely
Actions to integrate
Acts of service for parents and family and others Write and share my poetry Share more intimate details of my life Hug and kiss my parents and family Find a relationship Cry more Say words like "love" more Speak (physically talk) more about emotions Discover deeper parts of yourself Be more courageous. Speak with girls more often. Replace fantasy with real world action. Fantasy keeps you safe by protecting you from the reality of the consequences of vulnerablity. Of feeling deep and true pain. Embrace it. Feel through moments of resistance. Like writing on birthday cards. And actually wrote with some heart rather than just empty words. Making strong decisions, assertiveness rather than being so unsure and ambivalent about making the "right" choice
Hopefully this has been helpful for some people to show the different types of work you can do on Psychedelics. Rather than just "ego-death" and non-duality type experiences.
This was 100% caused by the intention and as always, set and setting.
Also: WARNING... I've had a very bad experience on LSD since this point, so please take care of yourself, I wouldn't recommend going through what I went through.
Masculine,feminine energyHe recommends this because people are androgynous by nature. So, if you don't integrate your feminine side, it just leads to lowered consciousness and repression.
It's the same with women and their masculine side. It's there no matter what. They can't get rid of it. So, a woman can either choose to integrate it or choose to repress it and become less highly developed.
And men who repress their feminine side will still have femininity... it will just be shadow femininity because it's repressed and unconscious. Men who have a disintegrated feminine side are both brutish and shrewish. They are often very passive aggressive, bitchy, and petty as well as just annoying to be around. Without the feminine side, you get a very immature version of masculinity that's not stable. And ironically, they will be very "beta", as many people like to call it... despite trying their damndest for the opposite.
Masculine,feminine energyBe aware of limiting beliefs. You are assuming that is true.
There is lots of feminine : feminine attraction in the world. I’m super attracted to it. It’s sooo beautiful
How do I stop hating girls?
How do I stop hating girls?Women don't really have "high" standards like you imagine them to. Some women have standards that are quite low... you just have to like them and pursue them. This is true of many women who have low self-esteem.
But women who don't have a lot of issues with self-esteem, will be selective. But they aren't basing their selectivity on standards... they're basing it on emotions. They don't tend to consult a laundry list of positive traits and then decide with their minds, "Yep! This is the guy that I'm attracted to." That just isn't the way that it happens. Women don't look at men like men look at women.
To a man in the initial stages of a relationship, a woman is exactly the sum of her parts. For a woman, a man their attracted to is more than the sum of his parts. That means that she'll like a particular guy, just because he is the guy that makes her feel a certain way. And that guy may not be the most attractive, the most dominant, the most wealthy, or the most (fill in the blank positive trait) guy. But that doesn't really matter. She likes him not for any individual strength he has... but as a sum of all the ingredients of his personality together and the chemistry she feels with the guy as a unique person.
So, she won't just say yes to any Tom, Dick, or Harry... not because she thinks Tom, Dick, and Harry aren't good enough. But she won't be attracted to Tom, Dick, or Harry because she likes that one guy. And there's nothing about you that stops you from being that guy for someone. Someone will feel that way about you eventually if you let go of bitterness and allow yourself to be more social.
But you do have a sense of entitlement... otherwise you wouldn't feel resentful about women denying you sex. There is a strong narrative that runs through a lot of our media that suggests that a man's worth is determined by his sexual desirability to physically attractive women. And over and over again, we see movies with average male protagonists that win the girl at the end by proving their worth.
So, men are indoctrinated with this idea, and feel like lack of success with women implies a lack of worth. So, you get angry at women for denying you the sex that you feel you need to prove yourself to be worth something. You feel like women denying you sex is also them denying you your sense of validity and worth.
So, you are angry because you feel like "How dare they deny my worth!"
How do I become more articulate?
How do I become more articulate?I have noticed that when I focus on my perceived shortcomings, then those shortcomings plays out in the world.
A negative/limiting belief gets inserted in the mind, like I don't know how to communicate. Then when the time comes to communicate, what you described happens. But of course it will happen. What other option is there, Right? The mind does what it knows best. And what it knows best is what you feed it.
Maybe focus on those moments that you actually do articulate well, then replay that moment in the mind to make it the new normal. That's what I'm doing now myself.
BIG Question about Personal Development. Please share your insights.
BIG Question about Personal Development. Please share your insights.@Javfly33
Because once you’ve accepted that you have to change, you realize that stagnation will always be a failing strategy. You know that “group 2”, even though it looks the same every year, is actually death by comfort. You realize that being in nonresistance to change and evolving is actually easier than holding on.
What Is Stage Coral In Spiral Dynamics???
What Is Stage Coral In Spiral Dynamics???COMPARING SPIRAL DYNAMICS STAGES BEIGE, RED, ORANGE, YELLOW, AND CORAL -- THE INDIVIDUALIST STAGES
Beige people are your indigent, crazy homeless people that are just barely hanging in there somehow. And they survive -- I see the same crazy homeless people around for years and years. I'm talking about the really crazy ones for Beige. The saner homeless people are usually at Purple, Red, Blue, or Green. Red people are doers. Their principle focus is on executing what they want to do. They're not super-sensitive to things that get in their way. I think it's lack of patience more so than immorality. Red people know how to get things done. They don't always grok the adverse consequences of their actions though. Orange people don't really give a shit about Life Purpose. Their Life Purpose is in their family and relationships. They look to the external world for money-making primarily. Yellow people are realists and system-thinkers. They can and do solve a lot of problems and are much wiser than Tier-One people. Yellow understands Complexity Theory, Epistemology, and Metaphysics. Yellow people need a Life Purpose as well. Studying Engineering at the College level is a great background for Yellow. But Yellow also needs quite a bit of education in Philosophy, Art, and Science as well. Yellow basically becomes fully-conscious of Conceptual Understanding Work in Personal Development. Yellow knows how to apply theory to practice to create sustainable change. Coral is the Enlightened sage who realizes that He is God Awareness and the only thing that actually exists in reality. Coral teaches but is not a Spiritual Ego neurotically trying to save or improve the world like Turquoise is motivated to do. In fact, Coral realizes He exists all alone as God Awareness. Coral realizes that all Thought and Experience are a literal illusion. Coral doesn't need to belong to a master-mind community of Perspectives like Turquoise does. Coral realizes there is only one true Perspective, and that's the Perspective of God Awareness a.k.a. the true Self.
Why do left brained men exist?
Why do left brained men exist?It's not shallow reasons. Being successful opens a lot of doors. Then love comes. It's not like the girls falls in love with your money. You can lure her in with your success, but then make her fall in love with your personality.
Most girls are not the golddigger types. A few are, but most aren't. If you're intelligent you can use this to your advantage. Become successful, access the hottest girls, and then pick one and make her fall in love with you rather than your money or success.
The best thing about success is that it can buy you access to lots of people, which then gets you a lot of eyeballs, which makes attracting females a lot easier than being just another guy at the club.
The point is, there are pros and cons to each personality style and mating strategy. Nerds have ways of getting laid. Jocks have ways of getting laid. Etc. The only people who don't get laid are those who sit at home complaining on online forums.
There is just 1 tricking to finding girls: GO OUT & BE SOCIAL! That's it! Everything else is minutia.
I don't care who you are or what you look like, if you go out long enough you will attract a girl.
Self-actualized relationship@bejapuskas Consider two Orange-centered individuals. They each value personal achievement, autonomy, ambition. They are both very rational and think about the most efficient ways to reach their personal goals.
What may happen over time? Well, there isn't much human connection between them for starters. Also, they are not working as a team. There is no "we". It is "my needs and goals" and "your needs and goals". There may be arguments over whose personal goals get preference.
When I entered Green and dated Orange women, there was a very different dynamic. When tension arose, my I valued harmony and talking things out. I wanted us to talk things out and decide together what was best for "us" for our relationship. I valued expressing feelings. I believed that expressing vulnerability coupled with mutual support would lead to deeper connection and love. Well, that didn't go over too well with my Orange-centered girlfriend. She was so focused on our independent needs and desires. She saw things in terms of competition. She wanted to debate and win. If she got *her* way, that meant she won. Over time, she apparently got bored of "winning" and started asking why I wouldn't rise up and take control "like a man". She started mentioning that she might be better off with an alpha male. Tears to her where a sign of weakness. One time in a restaurant, I got sentimental and a bit teary-eyed (not bawling or crying - just sentimental with a teary eye). She picked up on it and almost panicked - she looked around the restaurant and pleaded to me not to cry in public.
Moral of the story: I won't date another Orange-centered person again.
As well, Green with Green hasn't been a cup of tea either. I dated a Green woman with Green values, yet she was still stuck in Orange regarding male mates. It was an odd thing. She felt so strongly about social equality. She did a lot of social work for the poor, minorities and the homeless. She was a big proponent of gender equality in the workforce and equal pay. She was a community activist and gave talks to promote equality. Well equality for everyone except us apparently. When it came to us, she had a traditional gender role mindset that she had been conditioned with. She wanted me to be the authoritarian in the relationship. She wanted me to set the rules for the relationship. She was really uncomfortable when I expressed any emotion - except anger. I got angry a couple times and she was totally comfortable with that.
Moral of the story: I won't date another person that values Blue/Orange gender roles within relationships.