Mount Bananas

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  1. Just listened to this beautiful podcast on the different approaches to success. The guy speaking is very nuanced and explains what approach works best for what stage of the Spiral Dynamics model. He also has an amazing book called Stealing Fire, which goes in-depth on flow states and what is going on in the world, how people are finding different ways and inventing different technologies to enter flow states (states of no-mind). I'd recommend it to anyone interested in optimizing performance or chasing enlightenment. So yeah, listen to it and tell me your thoughts on it.
  2. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. The decision you make doesn't matter. What matters is if you OWN your decision. There's no right decision. So don't stress out, maybe every choice is the right/wrong one. So pick one, but fucking own it. You chose it. Now continue along that path and have no regrets. Take responsibility for your life and for your decisions. Also, remember that comfort is an illusion. Good luck, I hope I helped out. Maybe provide us with more information and we can help more.
  3. Thank you for this insight. I've been dealing with the same issues you have and I'm in a similar situation as you. This is true for me. You just helped me a ton. Wish you all the best <3
  4. Even though this video is technically tips for how to get over a breakup as a guy, he mentions several times the differences as to how and why girls get over a breakup faster than guys. Check it out if you're interested.
  5. @aurum @Sashaj Catching myself doing it is what I've done for these past two months. Reflecting back I can say that it has made me more satisfied with myself. I clearly remember one situation where I wanted to talk very loudly to my friends just so a girl nearby could hear. When I stopped I felt good knowing that I didn't succumb to this idea. But can I really do this forever? Another solution that I've thought of is for me to be purposefully seen in a bad light, being rude to people. Doing that a few times (or a lot of times, depending on how much it takes) will cease the validation I get. Then I could learn how to live with the fact that people think I'm a bad person. I've read that this technique of going overboard on the opposite side of the spectrum, being there for a while and then adjusting somewhere towards the middle is a good way to internalize things. Thoughts?
  6. @tsuki Dude, nothing but love and respect for you. Thanks for putting it into perspective. The problem is internalizing this. I'm already aware of this as a concept and now I'm working towards it becoming my reality. So thanks
  7. @Nahm Thanks for the reassuring words, they really help. This need for validation can cripple me, because I've become addicted to needing it. The way this plays out in reality is that I'd rather have these stupid fantasies of me impressing people than me actually reaching my goals, putting myself out there and developing the skills I want to develop. That's why I want it to stop. @B_Naz ^^^^^ (arrows pointing up lol) @Sashaj This is why ^^^^^ . I'm still not sure of the solution. Still pondering the possibilities. @Feel Good Yes, a lot of times when the person who validated me in the past stops.
  8. Through my introspection, almost every six months, I find a limiting belief I have. This discovery is like a slap in the face every time. It destroys my confidence and self-esteem. After I let go of this belief and replace it with a more positive one, I rebuild my whole life once again. I feel like every time this cycle happens I come back stronger and more grounded than ever. Maybe it's pain that's unavoidable on the path towards self-improvement. My first question is, I guess, has anyone else gone through these cycles? Are they normal? I also need your insights on the limiting belief that needs to be challenged now. I've noticed that I'm seeking and craving the validation of other people. One of the theories is that I haven't been validated enough as a child. Maybe it's true for me. I'm now in the phase where I'm trying to remember every time where I didn't receive the "proper" validation (so I can forgive my parents and myself). My parents wanted to push me saying how I can always do more and better instead of saying that I'm perfect the way I am. Not sure yet, I'm still investigating for the root cause. This belief isn't manifested as much in my actions as it is in my thoughts. I keep having these fantasies about how people will think I'm so amazing when I do this and that. Sometimes it's people that I hate (and they hate me back) so I can prove them wrong, but mostly it's other people that have validated me in the past. When they validate me once I get attached to them and make up mind-stories about them. I don't want to go into too much detail about specific stories, but that's basically it. It's fucking sickening. I'm slowly becoming obsessed as I see how much of my life has been a lie up to this point. Even now while writing and editing this I have thoughts that I might be trying to impress you, the reader (which is not true). Please give me your advice. I've been thinking about going to a psychologist so we can work this issue out faster and more efficiently. I might do that if I fail to change it myself. I already know how to change my identity with affirmations and it has worked before, but only coupled with serious action. What actions should I take? So as a summary: Are these cycles good and normal? What action should I take to change the belief? P.S. I have nothing against spirituality, but please spare me of answers along the line of "And who is THAT YOU THAT IS FEELING THIS WAY" or "Realize you are one with everything and deconstruct all your beliefs". It will take me years to do that and as of now I'm looking for something practical (to change a belief rather than deconstruct it). Thanks for reading and for your input. I'm especially curious as to what you guys think @aurum @Nahm
  9. @Charlotte This thread could be of some assistance. I know that it helped me a lot. Made me more compassionate.
  10. @Armando Gutierrez Take my advice with a grain of salt since I'm still in school and haven't started my career yet. Maybe your music will not communicate your message to the majority of the audience. But that doesn't mean that it's not worth pursuing. 99% of the population doesn't do any personal development or follow any guru/teacher. Does that mean that these teachers/gurus should stop teaching? Should they stop because 7.5 billion people don't follow them? In my honest opinion, I'd say follow your passion. Become a musician. And if you're dedicated, if you're amazing, if the music you play reflects your emotions, you will change people's lives. Visualize yourself changing people's lives before each show. Trust me, it's enough that you change one person's life. I'll tell you a experience from my life. I was volunteering at a jazz festival. I saw Miles Davis' drummer play. And I was in awe the whole show. I was shocked. Went into a flow state by listening to him. I thought to myself THAT'S SOMETHING TO DO. Look at this man. How he's enjoying himself. IT CHANGED ME. I'm pretty sure that the majority of the audience didn't feel this way. But it was still probably worth it from his perspective. And he doesn't know that he changed me. So how can you be sure? I think your expectations of communicating with the crowd are too high. Most people don't even listen to music dude. They don't feel it. They don't go out of their way to find something that they like, so they listen whatever is served. I'd love to hear your response. P.S. I see on this forum that everyone gets the same life purpose. It goes along the lines of helping people raise awareness/consciousness/ or helping them change their lives. What's up with that?
  11. @Cjaryo I think that unifying your two selves is one of the hardest things to do. In my experience one always rules over the other. You're probably aware that your higher self wants what's best for you, but the lower self cannot be ignored. Give yourself some satisfaction from time to time. You have to break your PMO addiction though. Take control of your penis. Try going on nofap or masturbate once every two weeks. That's what works best for me (I don't have a porn addiction). If you need more tips on conquering this addiction, there are websites like, countless youtube videos and a subreddit which can be a great source of motivation. Whenever you get the urge to masturbate, go to the subreddit and read some stories. It can help. Anyway, I don't want to go in depth here about nofap, but if you need more tips just ask. I sincerely hope I helped you out in any way.
  12. @willybilly30 Come on man. Don't be lazy. You want everything on a silver plate. I'm sure you can find thousands tutorials on how to do self-inquiry and meditation. @ajasatya is right. The answers are within yourself.
  13. I plan on diving into the field of pickup soon, so I was wondering where to begin. I think the most important thing is to cultivate the right mindsets, so they can serve as a foundation for building social skills. Here are some that I've discovered from various different PUAs. Please tell me if you think that I've missed something, or if you have anything to contribute. Is this a good foundation? Is focusing on mindset better or is it learning techniques? 1. Women want sex Women are highly sexual beings. They want sex just as much as men do. They think about sex and they get horny too. To deny their sexual nature is to deny a big part of them. 2. No slut-shaming mindset In today's society, women get slut-shamed a lot. Don't be one of those guys. Accept it that women want to have fun with men. Accept it as a beautiful thing. The only way to get a woman is for her to not feel judged, for her to be comfortable. You want to become the man with whom women are comfortable. The man that women consider a natural thing to have sex with, because it's fun and not-judging. 3. Having fun mindset You need to have fun. Self-amusement, knowing how to joke around and not take yourself seriously is attractive. If you're not having fun, drop whatever you're doing because you're faking it. Stop for a second, and think about this dance that a man and a woman play, and see how it's beautiful and entertaining. See for a second that women can be amazingly fun and playful. Don't ever be afraid to say what you mean/think. Saying what comes authentic to you is what draws people towards you. MAKING SURE THAT THE BOAT IS NEVER ROCKED MEANS YOU WON'T EVER CONNECT TO ANOTHER PERSON. SO STOP BEING PERFECT. 4. Abundance mindset There are three billion women in the world. If this one doesn't work out, onto the next one. There is nothing special about one person that cannot be found in other people. Don't get mindlessly attached to one woman, because as every other woman, she is imperfect. There are thousands of women just like her, so don't sweat it, relax, chill the fuck out. Don't beat yourself up. 5. You won the set by saying hello Let me repeat that. YOU WON THE SET BY SAYING HELLO. You are a fucking winner because you said HI. 99% of guys don't do it. You're special my friend, you've got balls and you go after what you want. 6. You are interviewing girls to see if they are good enough This is your mission. Don't even think for a second that there is a girl out there that you don't deserve. In fact, this whole learning and going out process, is to filter out girls you don't get along with. You're already awesome, now it's time to find another already awesome person, who you consider good enough, to share your awesomeness with. 7. Show intent Why are you there? Why are you even talking to this girl? That's right, you find her attractive and you want to have a sexual experience with her. So why hide it? Why suppress it? Show her. Show her that you like her. Show her that you think she's amazing. Project your sexual energy.
  14. @star ark Brilliant
  15. @Joseph Maynor Damn. What you're saying seems to be true. I can feel that I want to make an excuse for feeling miserable, so that I can later say that "it was for my art". I definitely have had a lot of problems before, including introversion and shyness. I have suffered from not being able to express myself, or not having the balls to do it. I want to use music as a channel to express what I feel, to make other people feel, I want them to feel my call, my yearning to be great. I want people to listen to my work, and to have a transcendent experience. To feel love, to let their emotions flow. And when my music ends, I want them to ask themselves "What the fuck am I doing? I need to stop being so petty because it's causing me to miss this beauty around me" What do you think? Is this call noble enough?