Kimka

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Posts posted by Kimka

  1. Posted

    10 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

    Yeah, that's a nasty trap to be caught in. It's what happens when you twist the truth and use it to justify your nastiness. Nothing awake or loving about it. But it's a journey to go through, for sure.

    I was in a nasty relationship too, not too long ago, so I can kind of relate. It was different than what you're describing, but toxic nevertheless. The dynamic was similar.

    No other advice I can give, but to gather all your will and courage, start planning an escape, and then when the time comes leave, and never look back. You have to cut this out completely. Only that way can you heal and move on. At least that's what I had to do. Removing yourself from a hostile environment is an act of (self) love.

    Stay strong. All the best.

    Thank you for your empathy and kind words. It really means a lot since I already feel a lot of shame for getting myself into this messy situation. 
    I try to tell myself that I’m exactly where I need to be in order to develop my character. To become stronger and learn not to be so naive in the future. 
    I think this is a lesson for me but a really hard one. But there’s a reason why this all happened.

  2. Posted

    13 minutes ago, ZGROPIUS said:

    FUCK. leave him

    (my instant reaction to reading this) this helps yourself. ?

     

    If I’m gonna be honest your reactions made me very emotional. I feel so fucking stuck in this relationship and I can’t talk to anybody because I moved far away from my family and friends to be with this guy and I barely talked to them because they are disappointed in me for getting back with him after breaking up. I thought that was a great idea.

    The thing is he was everything I was looking for in the beginning. Felt like my perfect match but the more I get to know him, the worse I feel. Everyone I know including his own family says he’s toxic and possibly mentally ill. I don’t wanna say narcissist because that term gets thrown round a lot, but he has those kind of tendencies, also like BPD. His role models are people like hitler, the una bomber, Andrew tate, dictators in general. He believes they know the truth because they don’t care, like him. I hate these people, they don’t inspire me what so ever. He also believes in all the conspiracy theories and believes that the Jews are pure evil(I know we can’t discuss this in the forum that’s not my intention, I just mentioned it so you get the picture of the kind of person I’m talking about, he is very red/orange and a bit blue in his personality) I used to believe some conspiracies as well but thank gos I started to question some of that bullshit. He believes he knows the truth because of this lol

    Before I met him a had a really good life. Good habits. Economy. Relationships. Health. Honestly everything has gotten down the drain. I’m so drained and can’t think clearly anymore. But the worst thing is that I feel sorry for him that he’s so fucked up. I’m the typical people pleaser, sensitive, introvert and pretty easy to manipulate I figured because I tend to try see the best in everybody. 

    Why the fuck can’t I just leave????

    I’m in a victim mindset I believe.

  4. Posted

    One of my first breakthrough on acid was the realization that nothing really matters in life. I can totally get that while tripping but it’s harder when when you have time processing that

    my bf says that he’s awake because he knows this. And he doesn’t care about, almost anything. He’s shooting cocaine, ketamine(he has ODed), doing crack, smoking weed, daily, but says he doesn’t have a problem, because nothing matters. It’s just for fun. He know what he’s doing... life is just all a game. I get that, but at the same time if nothing matters then why bother? Why not just die then?

    I’m a rookie when it comes to psychedelics, but I want to explore more. My bf doesn’t like to trip anymore, he is more experienced then me but says it messes you up and he don’t like that, he already know the truth there is and he’s just been to deep into the rabbit hole. He can never become happy like he used to because he know too much. I think this is somehow bs. He just wants to do mostly hard drugs and smoke weed, drink booze, all these low consciousness activities really that I hate(except smoking weed and special k) which doesn’t appeal to me at all. I enjoy ketamine but in a normal dose and not shooting it.

  5. Posted

    Me and my bf tripped on acid and we had this really wierd experience of instantly recognizing each other while peaking. We both just knew like this is not the first time we did this even though it was. It was like both of us knew exactly what the other one was thinking. Because he could say something I was thinking and vice versa. When I recognized him I didn’t say anything and he was just like “yeah I know what you know”

    I feel that we have a deep connection and been through a lot together but I never experienced this during a trip with someone else. Not on this level. It was like we were the same or whatever. I don’t know if anyone of you have had this kind of experience while tripping with a friend, so, etc.  why does this happen? Is it just our relationship being amplified by the psychedelic or can you recognize someone from a past life etc. I’m curious what perspectives you have

     

     

  6. Posted

    2 hours ago, Jannes said:

     

     

    Dogs are actually omnivores because we fed them veggies for so long. So veggie dog food works. If that breaks your heart then I would go for organs because that’s often wasted. 
    Also it’s about human nutrition. How we feed animals would be another ethical discussion. 

    I tried to give my dogs vegetarian dog food and they all had Such bad diarrhea, shitting +5 times a day and drank so much water:( now they eat meat, fish, organs and I throw in some vegetables, fruits and eggs sometimes. 

  9. Posted

    3 hours ago, Salvijus said:

    Also yogis invest huge amount of time and energy on their body to rise it to the next level of performance altogether. For them vegetarian diet is very good bc it supports their sadhana. Some of these yogis in india eat only few times a month and are fine. But it takes decades of preparation of work upon the body to do that. 

    So everything u know about yogic lifestyle u can throw it away if you're not a yogi. It applies only to yogis who follow that discipline and do other practices to support the system. They get their nourshiment in other ways so they can afford to eat only leaves and grass and be healthy. But a normal person shouldn't try to emulate them. 

    That’s really interesting actually. But I dont have that kind of knowledge and I don’t really strive to become a yogi but I still think it’s really cool that it’s possible for people: thank you??

  10. Posted

    21 hours ago, Michael569 said:

    sounds like a pretty shitty spiritual retreat if they give you sas for your dietary choices. Aren't those places supposed to be completely judgement free? 

     

    In terms of the diet conundrum, plant-based diets do not need to cause problems when carefully planned, but they might if they are not approached strategically. Despite knowing about potential pitfalls, many people do not supplement, nor do they compensate by eating specific foods in abundance. 

    You might benefit from evaluating the whole diet by tracking your intake for a few days in cronometer.com and see if any major deficiencies come up. Once they do, you can quickly look up foods that complement the missing nutrients or supplement for a short period of time. 

    Have you had any blood tests? 

    I have been talking to many girls from these yogic/spiritual communities, and while they mean well, many of them approach this lifestyle very naively, and in 20 years many of them will become osteopenic, and anaemic due to all the fasting, juicing, hypocaloric diets and lack of weight-bearing physical activities.. If you tracked the average ferritin levels in those groups, it would probably be below 40 on average.  

    Whether you choose to include animal products or not should ONLY be your choice. No groups should shame you for it. Ethical choices should be individual and not peer-pressured. 

    Yes I agree. It’s supposed to be a space free of judgement and I think to be spiritually developed is to include all kinds of people. But I won’t be going back there anymore. 
     

    I have done stupid shit like that also while being plant based, the juicing, detoxing etc. I also have a history of eating disorders in my teens. But when I got older I’ve focused on eating high quality food and minimal processed food, so I want to avoid soy, wheat, oils etc. I feel better eating animal products, it’s feels like I’m getting more calories and nutrients, I’ve been supplementing with some organ meats and I feel great on it. But I was curious about what you guys think if you become less conscious just because you eat meat. But I don’t think so since I actually feel better.

  11. Posted

    21 hours ago, Sincerity said:

    I'll be blunt. They are stupid, You should not listen to them.

    Yes, You can awaken VERY deeply while eating meat, and without a great diet in general. (It's still good to clean your diet of course)

    It's only morally wrong if You think it is. Morality does not exist. This is Your Dream and You have the absolute freedom to do anything because You LOVE EVERYTHING, because You ARE EVERYTHING. You can literally do no evil. All "immorality" is Beautiful and You can look at it with a smile. So go eat meat if You want, or don't if You don't.

    I personally don't eat meat very much.

    Lol I agree so thank you:D I also recently found out that the guy secretly eats meat sometimes(they’re a couple) but won’t admit it because his wife is hardcore vegan. But I had that feeling that they are in this spiritual matrix you might call it, that you must dress, eat, be a certain way to be so called “spiritual” or “high conscious” 

     

     

    I actually find that I feel better eating red meat. I think it’s because of my condition and maybe having some deficiencies. I had no period, irregular ovulation, super bad PMS(I’m generally a very calm person and I’ve never had this problem before and it affected my relationship ofc) and everything has improved for me. 

     

    I also live on the countryside so I’ve access to good quality meat, eggs, raw dairy from local farmers which I want to support. I’ve met the cows and chickens also to see how their living conditions are because I still want to cause as little suffering as possible. But I like to eat high quality food, I cook and bake mostly from scratch because I really enjoy it, it’s like a hobby for me. I want to avoid processed foods and oils and I had a hard time getting enough calories and/or nutrients just eating fruit and veggies. Felt like I had to eat all day:(

    I took some lsd like a month after I started to eat animal products and I realized that I don’t feel bad about it. I tend to be a perfectionist and highly moral in my behavior, so sometimes I need to remind myself that morality like you said is really more of a wet fantasy I have in my mind 

  13. Posted

    I’ve experimented a lot with diets during my life. I was a vegetarian for 12 years(or really vegetarian 6 years, then vegan for 4 years then back to vegetarian for 2 years)

    I stopped eating meat for ethical reasons. I started doing yoga at a young age and my teacher was vegetarian and explained about how it’s better for your health and “spiritual hygiene”. But after a couple of years I started to feel bad and had a lot of hormonal issues that I never had before. I talked to a fertility coach who explained that 90% of her clients with these types of issues ate a plant based diet. I was resistant at first because I’ve been eating this way for a long time, but It got so bad that I had to give it a chance. And my hormones are so much better, these issues are now gone.

    what confuses me is that it seems people with higher consciousness(stage green or higher) eats a plant based diet. I’ve been to a psychedelic retreat multiple times and they also say it’s bad to eat meat before the trip because of the bad energy, and they’ve expressed disappointment for me for eating meat again. Is it impossible to be highly conscious and eating meat? Because it’s technically morally wrong? 
     

    Excuse me if my English is not perfect. It’s not my native language