7thLetter

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Posts posted by 7thLetter

  6. Posted

    Should you work on yourself, work on your finances, your health, confidence, social skills, etc. before finding a significant other?

    I'm sort of in a place where I have so much to work on about myself and my financial situation that I believe I don't deserve a quality woman just yet. To a point where I don't even want to try pursuing women right now because I know my lifestyle and finances are shit.

    Lately I've been working on my masculinity, my health, mental health, physique, etc. And there's no doubt that some women find me attractive but what's the use of that initial attraction if I don't have the rest of my shit together? I'd attract a female but she'll be turned off by the fact that I don't do shit in terms of my career. Financial and emotional stability plus decent or good lifestyle, I believe is what will keep a quality woman around.

    Thoughts? Is it fine to casually date in this situation or just let go of the idea of females completely until you got everything together?

  7. Posted

    If you're socially awkward and have no social life then you should start small.

    Start a 30-day challenge where you interact with 5 strangers a day then progressively make the daily challenge a bit more difficult.

    For example:

    Day 1: Ask 5 strangers for the time, easy.
    Day 2: Ask 5 strangers for the time and give them a high-five.
    Day 3: Ask 5 strangers for directions
    .....

    Day 10: Ask 5 strangers to take a selfie with you
    .....
    Day 25: Ask 5 girls for their number
    ....
    Day 28: Ask girls to go grab some ice cream with you until one says "yes."

    It's your challenge, get creative with it, this was just an example.

    Starting small is of course the best way to get started with cold-approach pickup, same goes with any new habit you're trying to build, by starting small. This is how I started back in the day, I took this from a Youtube channel from maybe 7 years ago called "Simple Pickup." I took their course and did a 30-day challenge that they provided.
     

  8. Posted

    3 hours ago, King Merk said:

    Too simple. That can’t possibly work?

    Do you think it's supposed to be complicated? If so, why would it have to be? Why does it have to be something that "works"? 
    You're not gaming the girl, you're trying to figure out if she's single. You don't need to sweep her off her feet and feed her some impressive pickup line to figure out if she's single. 

    "Are you single" is the exact response I expected from Leo before scrolling down and reading his comment.

  9. Posted

    Even though Leo said it’s not worth my time trying to figure it out, I think I found an explanation for what happened to me in this situation with this woman.

    I believe she was ‘breadcrumbing’ me. That was my initial assumption when she started to show signs of inconsistency. And now it seems my assumption is true.

    I’m just going to leave it at that and move on.

    Some articles on breadcrumbing:

    https://www.healthline.com/health/relationships/breadcrumbing

    https://www.brides.com/what-is-breadcrumbing-5105353

  11. Posted

    I need to be convinced with why I should get out of my comfort zone.

    I understand there's growth on the other side but why should I give up my comfy home where my parents cook me dinner, where I live in my comfy room, where there's a perfect gym nearby, and 2 grocery stores nearby which has everything I need in it, all in a familiar city that I've lived in for 26 years.

    Why should I give all of that comfort to move into a brand new city on my own where I won't have everything I have in my current city?

    I've definitely gone out of my comfort zone in other areas of my life but moving out and into a brand new city is absolutely terrifying to me right now.

  12. Posted · Edited by 7thLetter

    It seems almost every workplace I work at, there's at least one or two cockblockers who try to prevent me from speaking to any females I'm interested in.

    I'm quite introverted and quite sensitive so their cockblocking tactics usually tend to work. They make me feel like I shouldn't be talking to that girl or this girl.

    There's this one whiteknight cockblocker who I worked with who is friends with almost every female at the workplace and tries to protect them by jumping into every conversation that any guy has with one of those female friends. He also once physically blocked me from trying to get with a girl at a party one time.

    These types of guys genuinely make me want to punch them out but I can't cause I'll be charged with assault.

    How do you deal with these types of beta males?

  13. Posted

    It doesn't affect you as much as you think it would.

    It sort of like masturbating, masturbation doesn't improve your game or make you more confident.

    I will say though, if you slept with a hooker there might be a slight boost in your confidence for about a week, especially the day of and day after, but that's about it. It helps you get some more experience in the bedroom, but it won't exactly help you improve your game, meaning it won't help with your social skills and pull women home.

    The only way to improve your game is to go out and practice game, not by purchasing the desired result with a hooker.

    And I mean if you're asking how will it affect you, it definitely affects your wallet quite a bit lol

  14. Posted

    I think it depends on the context but in most cases is it just bullshit or sometimes true?

    There’s a woman who’s older than me who said she just got out of a 7 year relationship so she wasn’t willing to date me especially because she’s “not in the right place emotionally” to date. She also said she’s just starting to “find herself” after being someone who her ex wanted her to be.

    We talked a lot and got along quite well at work before I asked her out. She also showed a lot of signs of interest or attraction towards me. When I tried to initiate plans she would often say yes but we never went out.

    She said she thinks I’m really cool and really likes talking to me but then pretty much friend-zoned me over text.

    I don’t know if I did something wrong or if she just actually isn’t in a place mentally and emotionally to date.

    I tried one more time to make plans with her but no response so I cut it off completely and I texted her “it was nice meeting you.”

    Thoughts?

  15. Posted

    I've been thinking about moving out of my family's place for a while now. I'm 26 years old and I've been feeling so far behind in life compared to others and one of those reasons is because everyone else left their parent's house in their early 20s while I still live with my parents at 26. I feel a bit ashamed when people ask about my life like "What do you do?" "Do you go to school" "Do you drive" "Do you live with roommates?" While these types of conversations can make me uncomfortable at times, it actually does help me get off my ass.

    I've been living in the same city for my whole life. It's comfortable for me to live here but it does get old and I want to experience someplace new. I decided to quit a somewhat comfortable job and look for jobs outside of my city which offer staff housing at a low cost. I found a shitty room cleaning job with decent pay and an ok but small housing accommodation with 2 other roommates. Of course this job is outside of my city and it's in a pretty nice city where a lot of tourists go to do skiing, hiking, biking, snowboarding, etc. So those are a few reasons why I chose this place, I like to be active and do things.

    Everything sort of sounds good to me but I'm starting to have anxiety about it. I have to move there and start the new job in about 10 days. This would be my first time moving out of my parent's place, AND live outside of my city. Hopefully I will get along with my roommates too, I've already met them. Plus I don't know how I feel about this job, I only signed up for the wage.

    I'm giving up my comfortable lifestyle for something else which is why it feels so wrong. I mean, people always talk about how you need to get out of your comfort zone to experience growth, which is why I'm doing it, but its such a major change all of a sudden that I don't know how to feel.

    Any advice?

  17. Posted · Edited by 7thLetter

    On 1/28/2022 at 10:47 AM, Adodd said:

    @7thLetter 

    So ive been torn between which split to use but after doing a lot of research it seems to me that most experts and studies show that full body is most effective. Maybe I'm not aware of something though.

    Find what works best with you and for you.

    Perhaps full body is more 'effective' but that really depends on what your goals are. Effective when it comes to what? Some people train for size, some people train for strength, some train for endurance, aesthetics, weight loss, etc. So of course, different workout plans & styles exist because they all have their own unique way of growing or strengthening the muscles. There's no one size fits all.

    In my personal opinion, full body workouts are less concentrated. Full body workouts are a handful of compound exercises in a single workout session, and you're not exactly hitting the minor muscle groups that could use some attention. But of course, this comes back to your personal goals. Are you training for aesthetics, are you going for a bodybuilder type look or the powerlifter type look? Are you training for strength? Full body workouts are mainly what powerlifters do. So if you’re going to train full body then you’ll be focusing more on strength training rather than training for aesthetics.

    If you're going for aesthetics then I'd recommend following splits. Just think about it, a single workout is about 1 hour to an hour and a half at most. Full body workouts are sort of like trying to cram everything into that one hour, while splits spend that hour focusing on one or two muscle parts. Do you now see how full body can be less concentrated?

    If you're doing squats, deadlifts, etc. in one day for example, then where's your calf muscle workout? Those compound exercises may hit your calves but not entirely. If you want calves that look good then it makes more sense to dedicate a gym session only to calves & quads for example for a leg day.

    If you're going to do full body then I say 2-3 days of rest in between workouts is recommended to give your body time to recover.

    On 1/28/2022 at 10:47 AM, Adodd said:

     

    How would I know for sure that I've fully recovered from a workout? I feel good and strong again with 1 day in between. Is that a good sign that ive recovered? I also might take longer to recover once I increase my weight and drop the reps. Have to see.

     You can feel good and be ready to workout again the next day but that doesn't mean your muscles have fully recovered.

    Personally I say it's safe to assume your muscles have recovered after 48-72 hours have passed but muscle soreness is another way to judge whether or not your muscles have recovered.

    You might take something away from this article if you're looking to know more: https://livehealthy.chron.com/weight-training-secondday-soreness-muscles-4830.html

  19. Posted · Edited by 7thLetter

    This is a post for me to be brutally honest with myself.

    I'm 26 and I feel like I'm pissing my life away. People might say "Oh you're 26 you're still young", but I honestly do feel like I'm running out of time.

    Career-wise, I don't have a lot going for me. I've been jumping from job to job in the restaurant industry working in the back & front of house. I've been thinking of switching it up and doing landscaping or some type of general labor work. I also got certified to become a personal trainer 6-7 years ago but I never pursued a career in that field. I may look into getting into that now though.

    In my early 20s and even at 18 & 19 years old I always thought I was going to be rich by 25. I've always chased different side hustles like flipping, pyramid schemes, blogging, Youtube, dropshipping, Amazon FBA, etc. But they never really worked out for me because I half-assed everything. While I was acting like I was doing productive shit, I wasn't putting in enough effort.

    Now I'm lost, and I've been lost. My only plan is to continue to slave away and put that money into crypto & NFTs with hopes of it potentially changing my life in the near-future. I have most of my savings in crypto and I took on some debt for NFTs.

    I have a lot of good habits in place in other areas of my life, thinking that they'll help change my financial situation but to be brutally honest it doesn't change much. You can get your health and body in shape but that won't exactly do anything for your finances or productivity. You can work on building your discipline through ice baths or training hard at the gym or doing MMA, etc. But when are you going to work on your side hustle or business?

    I work on a few side hustles right now but still I'm sort of not putting in enough effort into them.

    Any advice?

  20. Posted

    6 hours ago, Adodd said:

    Squats, deadlifts, benchpress, overhead raises, sit ups and planks, curls. Will be adding pull ups when I get a bar.

    All every other day and using a weight that I can rep 6-12 times max.

    If I'm understanding this correctly, you do this same exact workout with the same exercises every other day?

    So for example you would do Squats, deadlifts, benchpress, overhead raises, sit ups and planks, curls for 6-12 reps on Monday, then on Wednesday, then Friday? How many sets are you doing per exercise, 1?

    If that's the case, everyone works out differently but in my personal opinion it would be best to split your workout routine into something like having a Chest & Bicep day on Monday, then Legs & Cardio Tuesday, etc. Something like that is usually the most common way for people to workout and build muscle, it works.

    Me personally I use to do the "bro-splits" until I switched it up to upper body Monday, lower body Tuesday, rest Wednesday, upper body Thurs, lower Friday.

    Because if you're doing it that way with Squats, DL, Bench, etc. every other day then you're pretty much doing a full-body workout, hitting every single muscle group, every 2nd day and you're not giving your muscles time to recover. Rest days are important for the muscles to grow and regain its strength for the next time you hit that muscle part. I mean you do have here the 1 rest day in-between workouts but I think it's a good idea to have at least 2 or 3 days of rest in-between before hitting a specific muscle part again.

    If you look at the bro-split or upper-lower body routine, you can see that it gives 2-3 days of rest in-between muscle groups.

    Just a few more points, 3 sets per exercise is ideal at 6-8 reps per set if your goal is to build muscle. Should take about 1 to 1 & a half hours to complete a workout.

    :)

  22. Posted

    @Roy Yeah but wouldn’t you think it’s a waste of time for a girl who’s looking to date who goes out for drinks with a guy and the guy after hanging out with her is just like, “I just wanna be friends” or “I’m secretly gay.” Lol she wouldn’t have known that. Not all guys talk to girls just to have sex with her or have the intention of pursuing a romantic relationship with her.

    I’ve had a couple female friends in the past who were sexually or romantically interested in me, they probably thought I felt the same way about them but all I wanted to do was hang out.
    I imagine they might’ve felt that they wasted their time hanging out and talking with me cause I only saw them as friends.

     

     

  23. Posted

    @Roy I ask because sometimes they might think you're just trying to be friends with them if you ask them out for drinks without first showing sexual intent in conversation. And if that's the case they'll most likely deny the request because they probably aren't looking for guy best friends.

    The question here basically is how would they know what you want if you don't tell them it's a date. But I guess it's up to you as the guy to show intent and build attraction within' the conversation, leading up to the "We should grab drinks sometime."