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Posts posted by kalter000

  1. 42 minutes ago, Pallero said:

    What was your reason for seeking answers?

    As I wrote, I had depression. I wasn't fan of everyday nightmares and internal suffering.


    46 minutes ago, Pallero said:

    And how did you deal with being misunderstood?

    It was my least problem.


    47 minutes ago, Pallero said:

    How did you find the answers?

    Introspection, looking up different material and connecting the dots, working on mindfulness. Had a couple lucky moments when I said "This is it! I found out what's wrong".

  2. @stalker You stuck too much in your head and have high filters of what is "worth" speaking. True authentic conversation is emotional, not logical, you are just vibing with people, you can even connect with someone without much of the talk.
    Push yourself to say anything that comes to mind, realise - you already has everything in you for that, you just need to unlock it. Don't supress natural flow of your thoughts.
    Exercise: stand in front of mirror and talk to yourself for 5 min about EVERYTHING. Visualise talking to people , getting emotional, imagining saying stuff like "Girl, do you like Jared Leto as an actor? My favourite his role is transgender junkie in Dallas buyers club, I think he is sexy". - stupid, meaningless, hilarious.
    It's skill, you can practise it and become good socialiser, I recommend doing pick up for that purpose.

  3. @Pallero I relate 100%. I had a huge depression, it made me absolutely dysfunctional. I was desperately trying to find answers to my misery, get to know myself, find reasons to my mental struggle.
    And I've found them. Along the journey literally no one could understand me, telling "You think too much, just be yourself, relax, be simple". I'm glad I didn't  bury them in the forest at that time. 
    If you are seeking answers, there is a reason for that, but you might not be conscious of it. Keep on track, think for yourself and eventionally you will find them.

  4. 11 hours ago, Lynnel said:

    1) Seek to understand what's going on in depth. Always seek to understand why it worked, why it didn't, how could it have.
    2) It's a learning process. It requires experience. It's almost as grinding for xp in a video game. The more experiences you have, the more you evolve, the better you become.


    3) Expect negative emotions. Lots of them. And be ready to handle that. Progress and change come with pain, depression, sadness, anger, etc. You have to learn to handle your emotions otherwise you're not getting anywhere.
    4) Your only goal should be progress. This is really key. You may not get results for a long period of time and become really bitter. The only results you should be focused on is your own progress and your own evolution. As long as you're getting better, results such as sex etc will come, you simply need to be patient and dedicated.

    5) The feedback is always right / Be as accepting of reality as you can be. Most of the time you are not aware of your own issues. This is a really harsh pill to swalow, because let's say you go on a date, it doesn't work out, and you walk home thinking, well I don't understand I did everything perfectly. Well you did not. The evidence says otherwise.  Take full responsibility, as Leo says. As time passes you'll learn that some cases have nothing to do with you, but most of the time it's actually you fucking up. x)

    6) Some stuff as you see as small details may actually be really important so be careful not to dismiss those too fast.
    7) Once you start, never stop, because once you stop, you're done.

    The are other really important tips, such as meditate, write field reports, etc, but for those simply watch products.

    @Lynnel I've been following RSD for years and you still managed to give me really solid advice, thank you.

  5. She has quite a couple good videos about psychology, therapy and shadow work, she helped me realise some things. But yes- you have to filter some nonsense. I don't think she is deliberately trying to bullshit people, that's just her way to express herself and her experience.
    She is worthy of  attention in my list.

  6. That's quite dogmatic approach towards yourself, you don't have to do neither of these things. It's okay to be negative, it's okay to be hurt. You don't have to believe things, you have to realise all of this by yourself. You're creating cage made of beliefs, it will stop you from free flowing in life. You can make more harm disowning negative parts of "you", so my advice is to let things be.

  7. Self-development is something you do for yourself, it's life long journey. Why do you need to talk about it, it's nothing special and rather ordinary for all intelligent people. For me it's as strange as telling my parents "I'm gonna learn new things in the future!"
    I think they will notice themselves when you'll get sufficient results, but I can't grasp your motivation right now. 
    Nevertheless it's your choice.

  8. @Saitama My humble advice is try out dating. There is no use for speculation, if you feel it's not a problem than experience world of pain and misery  dating and see for yourself. If that's not your cup of tea, just move forward , unless you know for sure, that your assumption was true. 

    And you can grow A LOT as a man in relationship, put this into your great scheme of development, it will help you synergistically with other parts.

    Imagine how much pain you'll get, if you were bullshiting yourself ten years...

  9. @clytaemnestra may I ask you, why do you hate people complimenting your looks? Do you feel insecure about it so you think guys are non genuine? I mean, your looks is a part of you and important part for men. It's not necessary that people treat you like sex meat if they acknowledge your beauty.

    @Sarusuave If they are gay, then it's the same, I suppose. But generally guys don't care about other guys looks unless he is Apollo stealing all attention from their girls =P


  10. It's honorable, that you are saving yourself for that one special girl, and even if you find her and get attracted- what are the odds, that she'll do the same? =)
    Very little. Reel and rod metod is not very effective, you better go out and get experience with other girls, find your preferences, gain social skills that might help attract "that one" and just enjoy yourself. Searching for perfect soulmate gives me the hint, that you are too serious about relationship - healthy reminder- it won't fullfill you :)

  11. Denis, ask yourself an honest question- why do you need external chemical substance to let go, relax and forget social conditioning? You can achieve all of that with enough psychological development and without hurting yourself. I don't mind alcohol (I'm russian as well, heheh), but people use it as a form of escapism instead of facing and dealing with their problems. That's when it becomes a problem.

  12. Might be trivial choice, but "Fight club" impressed me at the time. It was like testosteron injection right in your balls! Movie and book helped me raise awareness, get in touch with my masculinity, question social conditioning. It's also quite symbolic: more about finding yourself in the comfort- driven world, setting yourself free rather than guys just touching each other in the basement.
    Although Tyler's metods were unnecessary- he failed to realise, that freedom is in your head.