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Posts posted by kalter000

  1. 1 minute ago, Iulia said:

    I still somehow think i could find a way to work things out.. otherwise i'll blame myself for it.. he talks about developing his business "some day" and tells me he's excited for our future..

    There is no use in blaming yourself. Life is always moving forward and things are constantly changing. Four years ago you did what you thought the best. Circumstances have changed, you've grown, your partner haven't. And it's fine. You should let go of the past and I understand how difficult it is... 

    Teal Swan in one of her videos says, that we should love our partners for what they are right now, not what they promise to be. And this is true. What if nothing will change? You will have a grudge on your spouse for your irresponsibility and wasted years? C'mon.

    Of course it's your choice, but things are crystal clear for me... 

  2. @Iulia It's really crazy, that you are married at such a young age! Of course you want to explore the dating field, you want to discover yourself, grow with a suitable partner! it's perfectly understandable.

    You are ruining relationship right now, you doesn't even have to cheat on him. You are acting inauthentic towards him, you lie and supress yourself - and he can sense it all. I'd say it's already ruined and you have to move on. You are attached to him because you doesn't know any better, and from your words, he is this sweet sensitive soul, playing games all day- those are not ideal partners.

    Leo says, that life is emotional irrational game. You like him in your mind, but in your heart you are seeking freedom guys, that will make you feel fresh and rejuvenated. Heart always right.

    Do your husband a favor and let him grow as a man - by abandoning him. His pain is necessary for him to become better person, psychologically mature. It might be selfish, but your life and well being is much more important than sustaining his comfort zone.

    Make a hard but right choice.

  3. 16 hours ago, electroBeam said:

    I do go out and do stuff, but I go out and do nerdy stuff, like flying radio controlled aeroplanes, live action role place, etc.

    I think it's fucking cool. Don't label yourself as a nerd. You can take a lot of cool pics with these activities. Be authentic and assume high value.  Don't be try hard, matching girls expectations: don't be like that


  4. @joegarland It seems you are overly attached to that girl and you show signs of neediness. Girls hate neediness. Make it casual and as not a big deal. If you'll push too much pressure on her "you are love of my life, I NEED YOU TO GO WITH MEEEEE!!11", it will scare her away. 

    Don't be so investing in this girl, you don't even know if she likes you or not. If she will go on a date with you, it means that she wants to get to know you better, your personality. How you display that - doesn't matter. Simple walk in the park might be enough, don't "buy" her.

    Focus attention on being carefree and enjoying yourself.

    And do pick up, mistakes must be made!

  5. @TruthSeeker dude, what's the point in this speculation? Ego wants to prove it's rightness? 

    You were told to sit down, start looking and find out for yourself. The answer to your question no one truly knows unless they are enlightened. People just trying to linguistically channel their experience, which is not the same as actual experience.

    I find it funny, that 99% of unconscious body functions are all by themselves and don't ask for your "personal interruption", but this 1% of conscious behavior is somehow desperately need you to function, as if it's much more important then pumping blood, regenerating and fighting viruses. Everything was doing well without you, you are not invited to this party :Р 

    It seems obvious to me, it's my assumption, go verify truth for yourself. 

  6. 4 hours ago, Dhana Choko said:

    Pain does not necessarily wake people up. We have seen that countless times as well. There are SO many people suffering but it does not make them anymore enlightened or aware. 

    Not necessary, but it can.  You can suffer so much, that "you" can't take it anymore, ego defence mechanisms going off and you start to see through illusion. 

    A lot of people suffer, but not enough to go through this process. And you also need to have certain mindset to allow awakening to happen and don't kill yourself, lol

  7. Okay, this is it.

    Here and there we can find topics like" How to be the alpha male", "How alpha males attract women", "Characteristics of alpha male" etc.

    It's time to stop! 

    It's time to acknowledge another greek alphabet males! I'll serve the justice on this unacceptable matter!

    So, as this silly segregation goes, I want to ask you - what  are the traits of true omegaman? What is his thought process, how does he deals with problems, what are his day to day activities?

    Post your suggestions below and we will correct this unfortunate misconception.

  8. @FingerSide You care too much what girls would think of you. Instead of being authentic and true to yourself, you are putting this facade of "niceness" as a coping mechanism. This is highly off putting. Don't compensate lack of confidence with being fake nice. Do introspection into the core reasons of this behavior and destroy this wall.

    But you can be nice, if this is coming from genuine place and doesn't diminish your value as a man. That way you would become attractive.

  9. I want from my relationship and girl next things:

    1)She takes care of herself, maintaining her beauty and charm.
    2)She is in touch with her femininity and sexuality.
    3) She is non needy, jealous and over controlling.
    4)Gives a time for me being by myself, let me alone.
    5)Respecting and understanding, caring and loving ( but not as a mother/ son dynamic)
    6) Doesn't suppress my freedom seeking energy ( Book by Devid Deita "Way of superior man" talks about it greatly).
    7)Has interesting personality, shares my values.
    8) Has a purpose, sense of direction.

    That's my take on it.

    (assuming I'm an alpha male, heheheheheh)

  10. Yeah, you definitely lack self-acceptance. You are constantly comparing yourself with a mental image of "better" or "more suitable" you. It's great, that you are raising awareness about this negative talk and recognised these limiting beliefs " I'm not enough"," I am unaccepted and misunderstood". Those are signs of low self-esteem. Realise that thoughts are just thoughts and have nothing to do with reality.

    People start relationships with much worse conditions. The thing is they aren't aware of it. You have to deal with your problem for the sake of your own well-being. Right now you most likely will attract girls with similar problems. Yeah, you will get a relationship, but you can imagine quality of it  :)

    But still go for it, for experience. You will never be ready or enough for anything in life. 

  11. Don't be so cought up by this line. Imagine you have sertain filters of interpetation towards other people's influence, such as your values, prejudices, morality, etc.

    This phrase simply means, that I can create judgement about you based on your filters. It doesn't mean, that you have to be people pleaser in order to be seen as good person. If you say, that "all people are awesome" I'll consider you a lunatic. :)

    3 hours ago, Shantanu said:

    If I am talking good about them, they most likely will reciprocate. I.e I become more likable and acceptable in crowds. 


    It's not that easy, better to drop idea of micromanaging other people perceptions of you. Focus on being authentic and in alignment with your values. This way you will attract people with the same way of thinking as yours and they will respect it.

  12. Explore the dress field, find what suits your personality, experiment with it. Take inspiration from people you believe are stylish. Push your comfort zone in clothes, wear things you would never consider wearing ( but still be self-aware). 
    Your style is expression of your inner self, so get to know yourself better, what  are your values and operating principles in life. Other people's opinions are irrelevant.

  13. All these thoughts about death can make people completely neurotic. Instead of living in now and enjoying present moment they will seek external stimuluses in hopes they won't regret their life before death. There is not such thing as "bad life" because life has no meaning at all. All value systems in reality are illusions. So, to operate in this world you have to create a value system of your own.
    Striving for self-actualisation is based on ego demands, it's another hamster wheel. Personally, I'm doing it for fun and excitement of new discoveries. I don't care if I'll die tomorrow unfulfilled (oh noooo!!!), I'll think it was good while it lasted. And I'm having the most basic life you can imagine, Leo would shit on me if he knew what I'm doing :P
    Death is not healthy motivator IMO.

  14. @Sarper Humour is just a tool to convey your personality traits, form of self-expression. It shows, that you are not self-absorbed, have a stick up your ass, that you doesn't treat life and yourself too seriously, your confidence based on not fearing what people would think of you, it's HUGE sign of intelligence ( even if a joke is "stupid" you should be creative and smart for it to work), it's making you more relatable to girls. And yes- it's making them laugh =) 

    It's super fucking important! It's almost like cheat code, it's not even fair!

  15. 1 hour ago, Sarper said:

    I don't agree with humour. Girls use laughter to make a guy feel proud. They can laugh very stupid jokes if they like a guy and sometimes they don't laugh because they don't like him. I think most of them see humour as childish. This is what I think. They don't like pessimistic people of course.

    You realise, that joke in itself doesn't matter, it's the energy and personality behind joke doing magic? Women like funny guys and  genuinely laugh, they don't care if dude feels proud out of it. "Humour is childish"- dangerous misconception. Mr. @Jecht Spencer gave you beautiful advice.

  16. So, I was gloriously meditating the other day and  was struck with this thought:

    Affirmations are used to integrate new set of beliefs in ego structure instead of dysfunctional ones."I am beautiful, no matter what they say! No one can bring me down" etc. But as we dwelve into deeper personal development we realise, that all beliefs about ourselves are bullshit and doesn't matter. Person doesn't necessary feel like he/she is beautiful or don't care, but affirmations drop this person out of alignment with him/herself.

    That's one of the reasons why I find affirmations cheesy, they can make more harm making person to disown his state of being and emotions, instead of accepting it. But I guess it's nice technic for newbies and other enthusiasts.

    What's your opinion guys, do affirmations help you, do you have stickers with "gratitude words" on the walls, how do they affect your natural behaviour? I'm eager to read about your experiences on that matter.

  17. Leo, I know from your various videos, that you with family moved from Russia long time ago. What were the reasons for your immigration, how did you handle "cultural shock" and what was your first impression on USA?

    Was Leonid your russian name?  :)