AlwaysBeNice

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Posts posted by AlwaysBeNice


  1. The main reason for this post is because there is a lot of hysteria/misconceptions about mental illness, especially once people start to get into spirituality and psychedelics some people may sometimes be afraid they will one day 'trigger something that breaks their functioning mind, free will, emotions caused soly by some genetic predisposition'. Luckily that's a bunch of bullshit, though triggers and collapses may occur, the real cause is simply trauma, which can be dealt with.

    No developed mental illness (which is what we will be talking about) has ever been diagnosed through a biological test, it's a mere opinion based on symptoms (whom vary a lot, and of which not all are negative or even unhealthy), which creates a very very vague field:

    For instance, 10 people may have a cough, yet they may all have different diseases, but because the diagnosis is based on the symptom, they are all labeled with the same illness. (not to mention, a biological correlation also does not imply a cause, i.e. (mental) stress may still be the underlying cause)

    And other example, schizophrenia is based on just 2 out of 5 symptoms for a diagnosis: 

    'The positive symptoms of schizophrenia (delusions, hallucinations, and disorganized speech) can look like a manic episode of bipolar disorder, while the negative symptoms of schizophrenia (apathy, social withdrawal, and low energy) can look like a depressive episode.'

    Did you experience something unusual or belief in some unusual things? Do you hear voices sometimes, or see something not seen by others sometimes, either positive or negative? etc.

    Well, even having just a few of these things may already end you up diagnosed. Does that mean something is wrong with your body/mind per se? No, it means this particular culture created an arbitrary system to label the strange. 

    However most people diagnosed mentally disturbed, are most often damaged broken individuals. 

    Often schizophrenics and other mentally ill come from a unhealthy upbringing, were taught no confidence or love, in worse cases were (severely) abused by the parents or environment, didn't fit in socially and that has caused an unbalanced mind with all sorts of negative beliefs, low self worth and no tools to deal with it.

    In my own experience, I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia, yet recovered from all symptoms remarkably fast. Long personal story:

    My youth: I had rather emotionally weak/insecure parents, spend almost all my free time behind TV and later video games, I was bullied, my dad died at 15 and at the same time, around age 15/16 I did recover socially (thanks to new friends and weed at the time (weed actually opened my eyes as to realizing I wasn't the only insecure being on the planet, but that it was in fact rampant).

    However not much later I started getting into mushrooms somewhat frequently and after some intense trips I realized we are spiritual being who could be living a ecstatic life if we decided to live in oneness without fear (among a few other things), but because I had no further tools or guidance and I was still walking around with a lot of emotional trauma/self-repression, and lacked the courage to be my true self, my negative ego flourished; I had no motivation for the regular world anymore, stayed in my room all day/night, I didn't know how to let go of all my fear and emotional trauma, and I wanted to die. But since that was not an easy or seemingly smart thing to do, I tried the next seemingly best thing, trying to imagine a better world for myself, I wanted to belief I was more special than others because I felt so inadequate. and I wanted to belief the moment was more special because I felt so shitty; this resulted in delusions and even in some rather small but (partly) self induced hallucinations (belief is a powerful tool) (though not of all can be said to be definitive hallucinations). 

    After about a year of that me and my mom both thought it was a good idea to hospitalize for depression and psychosis (though in my eyes at the time, I believe I was just depressed, given I simply lived very unconsciously). I was hospitalized for psychosis, I hoped to receive good therapy, I imagined someone who would just talk to me so I could cry it all out. Strangely enough, despite living a developed first world country (The Netherlands), none of that happened, I was asked to simply take medications and was pretty much put away with similar (but nice) individuals with a short group therapy once a week, despite that, nothing really happened except a few. very short, talks with a (apathetic) psychiatrist. A wonderful business model to keep people taking drugs for their whole lives and not actually look at their problems indeed, luckily I refused all medication and they didn't pat attention. I was diagnosed with a schizoaffective disorder (schizophrenia with emotional imbalance) at the end of my year long hospitalization, overall, it was an OK time to simply get to myself more somewhat with no responsibilities, though that did not really help that much at all, luckily, I later did find the cure.

    Getting rid of mental illness

    At the end of my hospitalization of about a year I started meditating and things got better quickly, I just went home, got back to school, continued my practice and also started practicing self-inquiry, quickly in about a year time all my delusions/hallucinations as well as the dreadful depression simply faded. I went from very mentally restless to less and less until I was more neutral, until the neutrality birthed a small joy. During that time and time after until this day, emotional trauma surfaced (regularly) and is released, making me less afraid, less tense and free-er. 

    Years later the progress has simply continued and I'm a happy, peaceful person and productive person, still there is some healing to do and there is a long infinite way to further to live and progress into total harmony, oneness and bliss with God,- thank God. And with no mental or emotional disturbance that ever surfaced again, even after taking psychedelics again numerous times, In fact living more in harmony with your inner-self makes you become actually one of the more sane people, and living in sync with life which gets wonderfully and clearly reflected with consistent synchronicities and a more conscious communication with the divine/yourself (through synchronicity, feeling, inspiration), despite how delusional that might sound to the common man.

    And now, in hindsight, I can look back at a dreadful depression and delusional moments with some gratitude, as it provided me a great useful contrast to more fully know who I really am and what actual happiness is.  

    The gene myth

    As you may already have figured, trauma/negative imprints and the fear is what causes an imbalance in thought and behavior. Gene's do play (a rather small) role, as well as your environment, though ultimately it's the mind that decides what it beliefs in and how it wants to function in relation to it's beliefs.

    So no. Schizophrenia or any other developed mental illness does not get suddenly triggered caused by some gene; the concordance rate between identical twins and schizo. is around 25% and the concordance rate between fraternal twins is about 5%.

    This shows that people with exactly the same gene's have a 25% chance of getting schizo. together, not a 100%. Although the number is higher than of the fraternal twins, this may be caused be cause they are more susceptible to receiving emotional imprints, perhaps psychic functioning or because they were simply raised more similarly and gotten into the same circumstances and mental health system. 

    So in short: gene's do not cause any developed mental illness. Well explained by some of the best professors in the world here as well: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36HquPzdxf4

     It's caused by trauma

    Because of my own experiences I strongly belief that all disturbances simply come from being raised in an impure, dishonest, negative and simply insane world (which in truth is anything that does not display oneness), which we soak in as children which may or may not make us then extremely insane, or simply just a bit more so than the rest. 

    This is not my view alone, I came to found out, there are quite a few (renowned) psychiatrists who see it this way as well, to name a few good psychiatrists and researched: Charles Whitfield (very good), Colin Ross, John Breeding, Ben Sessa and the list is not complete. 

    -

    so TL:DR Don't be afraid of developing any mental illness, it can only come from too much emotional/mental baggage fundamentally which you can simply heal through (and probably mainly through) spirituality/meditation/self-inquiry and other modalities (expressing yourself, openly talking, music etc.). - (One of the most useful things I found is to conjure up fear through your imagination, to then feel in the body to then meditate on it.)

    Peace <3

     


  2. It's the dark night of the mind. 

    It might start after an initial awakening experience because you might suddenly become aware of how much negativity you are actually still carrying around and how confined your mind still is.

    And you don't yet have knowledge/experience/trust that you can progress quickly on the path, in healing yourself, so your whole situation could seem dreadful. You then might be tempted in to trying to give up, so any idea of being victim of some sort of cosmic happening called 'the dark night of the soul' seems very appealing, but it's false, the soul is forever in peace.