Lynnel

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Posts posted by Lynnel

  1. Posted · Edited by Lynnel
    Typo

    1 hour ago, Karmadhi said:

    So i noticed that Leo and a lot of other people here are against libetarians and more in favour of equality and mechanism that prevent a minority to control all the resources.

    You can't be serious.

    The whole problem with this mindset in case it was not obvious is that you cannot treat women as a fucking RESSOURCE. Nor men. Nor human beings in general.

    This is exactly the issue with excessive materialistic orange which will view women/men like a pieces of meat with a certain market value disregarding pretty much everything else and the most important parts such as connection and personality traits.

    You need to stop equating people to a certain "value" parameter and decomposing their personnality according to that. Viewing someone according to his "value" on the "sexual market" is one very biased lens which when pushed to the extreme leads to nonsense like this.

    For instance, regardless of "value" a lot of people are not compatible and would never be happy together.

    Meanwhile, money is always money - and you can always buy a piece of bread with money to feed yourself. It's a completely different matter.

    To anyone reading this : stop mentally masturbating to crazy sociale equality theories that would land you free sex, go out, get laid, and outgrow stage orange.

  2. Posted

    1 hour ago, Emerald said:

    It probably feels like torture because it's triggering some wounds or dredging up some shadows in you.

    I mean, I can somehow understand where the guy is coming from.

    The video was amazing, but when Teal listed all of the possibles actions you would need to undertake to create containment for a woman, I thought to myself, good heavens, I'm not certain there exists in this universe a woman deserving of such work if you have to do 40+ of those at the same time xD

  4. Posted

    @Javfly33

    Well it's not exactly rocket science.

    Bottled water will contain microscopic plastic particles because well it's usually in plastic bottles. If you get glass ones, that might be a big plus.

    Tap water can contain pretty much anything depending on your country. For instance, if you live in an old building, you may have copper/lead pipes, hence having heavy metals in your tap water. Faced with that choice, I would choose microplastics.

    The best way is to get a RO philter and process your water so it's as clean as possible.

  5. Posted

    I've been wanting to track my sleep lately to have more data to improve upon and was wondering what experiences you had with any of the following : fitbits, oura rings, different sleep trackers such as dreem.

    What are the pro and cons to each one of those or any other trackers you are using ?

    Most and foremost I would like to measure the quality of my sleep to optimize that properly so the data has to be as accurate as possible for that purpose.

    I care less about the sport accuracy measurements and the next most important point after the data accuracy would be the ease of usage, e.g. not to have to charge it every two days, being able to barely notice it, etc.

    Any suggestions & feedback are very welcome ! :) 

  6. Posted · Edited by Lynnel
    Grammar

    @Snader

    While not being on the phone and very focused on the experience is very important, which is what the tripsitters are also for, music CAN be extremely helpful. Don't dismiss it for his and your own sake !

    For me it creates a very positive background, and for most of my experiences it has helped a great deal.

    Sometimes, if music gets too overwhelming, I will turn it off and just focus on the experience in complete silence, but I always put it at the start of the trip. So don't ban music right away in the preparation stages ;)

    Also, I would at least do some yoga and/or a meditation practice, otherwise your friend might not go as deeply and not be able to integrate his experience.

  8. Posted

    On 02/03/2020 at 9:18 PM, Leo Gura said:

    I get that, but the people she lures in with that marketing ploy will start to create that identity.

    It's something I like about Actualized.org - there is just nothing to build a coherent spiritual identity from.

    You can't become an actualizer or a Leo Gurian - The teaching is so high level that you can't just limit it to some concrete elements.

    In a sense, you managed to make us inherently less ideological about our development.

  10. Posted

    1 minute ago, Serotoninluv said:

    In some contexts the idea of “the best person should get the job” is highly biased toward men. Why should a committee of 10 men decide @who is best?”. 

    You're gonna resonate with this since you're in academia : there was a TT position in Canada which was open only to women/minorities/handicaped people.

    I'm strictly against that : comittees should be balanced sure, but they shouldn't be aware of the gender of the candidate and only consider him based on his/her/their prior academic achievements.

    Giving someone a job they're less qualified for because of their gender or because you need to look like a progressive university is a no-no in my book.

  11. Posted

    On 19/02/2020 at 7:07 PM, outlandish said:

    Caffeine amplifies Orange resonance within Spiral Dynamics, and to a lesser extent Yellow. It de-resonates Blue and Green. So it can potentiate the transition from Blue to Orange because the wakefulness and alertness that it promotes is conducive to analytical/rational thought. It helps "wake up" from the slumber of dogmatic thinking and begin stimulating rational investigation.

    Excuse me but how in the world did you come to those conclusions ?

    Yes it sounds coherent on paper but how would anything you consume amplify resonance with a certain spiral dynamic stage ? Isn't that too far-stretched ?

  12. Posted

    3 hours ago, Anna1 said:

    They either have to reduce their psych medications, which is risky or take higher, possibly not safe doses right off the bat to get any effect, again risky.

    You're slightly incorrect. Some combinations between psychedelics and some SSRI for instance can simply lead to death regqrdless of the dose. A very solid guideline is not to mix psychedelics with anything at all.

    I know it may sound like a petty remark but I can't stress enough the importance of safety whilst using psychedelics for anyone reading this :x

  13. Posted

    5 hours ago, Anna1 said:

    I wasn't speaking in absolutes (wasn't meaning to at least), but you seemed to be, when you said age didn't have to do with it. It can and sometimes does. I'm not saying, then or now, that it's not done or possible (my dad married a woman 20 yrs younger), but it's not the norm, imo. Some women are even creeped out by it (ie, dont want to date someone old enough to be their dad). 

    The idea behind my opinion is more complex : yes obviously age is a factor but "you're too old" can also be used to get rid of you if you're not attractive.

    So if he assumes it doesn't matter it won't bother him and obviously reality will strike and sometimes it will truly matter but at least he won't fail by thinking he's too old when he actually wasn't :P

    Overall we have to see on a case per case basis.  It's very hard to have absolute statements for such things.

  15. Posted

    1 hour ago, Anna1 said:

    That's your opinion. I can say, I was never attracted to an older guy and I dont just mean looks, ever. 

    Maybe you've never met an attractive guy who was older ? ^_^

    Either way you can't assume it's the case for everyone and while he can do nothing about his age he can work and should work on his social skills.

  16. Posted

    14 hours ago, Arcangelo said:

    Arc: -''Do you live near?''

     

    Flor: -''No''

    Arc: -''Where do you live?''

    Flor: -''Near''

    Arc: -''That's what I asked, if you lived near?''

    Unless you are very well calibrated this is a hard no.

    If you look even slightly creepy those questions are gonna create anxiety in her mind about her possible safety. That's why she avoided answering in the first place.

    Don't.

    Also for the love of god don't train on random girls in your neighbourhood - go out to bars and clubs and upgrade your skills there.

    Don't worry age has mostly nothing to do with this - your social skills do.

    Best of luck :)

  17. Posted

    On 11/02/2020 at 4:17 PM, Michael569 said:

    This is extreeeeeemely common corporate behaviour.

    In America maybe, but here we have a more chill culture + it was a average sized company.

    Like I totaly expected companies to be dicks and devils. But not to that extent. Lesson learned, I guess.

    Thanks for you comment though I felt a bit better :P I've already done the life purpose course and I'm still figuring it out.

    On 11/02/2020 at 9:03 PM, Bill W said:

    Why didn't you just accept the contract? Who said it was a negotiation? 

    Negotiation is a soft skill and I accepter the contract as is, because since I have no revelant work experience I have no grounds to negotiate on. Altough I got promises of a raise within x months - which was great. Like this wasn't a negotiation problem. Companies always give you a lower amount expecting you to negotiate after.

    21 hours ago, Raw Nature said:

    (1) leave as soon as you can

    They didn't hire me so I have no one to leave :P

    18 hours ago, Robert Leavitt said:

    @Lynnel So...I'm going to go out on a limb here and just shoot it straight from the hip.  Because, it's important to my and ultimately to you for me to be honest in my perspective.  I will not offer you a resentful opinion about corporate America (Because that doesn't help you).

    That company doesn't owe you anything.  Life isn't fair...

    Your major problem is that you believe that they were supposed to accept your negotiation (you already had the job mind you) and they reconsidered and they didn't accept it.  That's on you, not them.  You put yourself out there (kudos for that, because that's hard to do), and then they said no...and I'm 100% sure they had their reasons for changing their minds.

    Reasons that you will probably never know (but you can rest assured they had something to do with your negotiation or your interactions with them).

    The major pattern I see that you are describing is a sense of entitlement.  You felt you were entitled to whatever you negotiated for, and then you thought you were entitled to them being upfront with you and giving you what you wanted.

    But you aren't.

    Thank you Robert.

    Some nuance is needed : I only negotiated to have a raise later if I were to improve my skills enough. And I got that written in the second version of the contract. But I told them I was willing to take the contract as is.

    Yes I do underestand that employer have no decency at all - it's all survival and I hold no value in their eyes they don't bother considered me as a human being. I do disagree with that because I hope as we get more green we actually get some decency in the corporate world.

    Usually, if you make an offer here it's pretty official, once you make an offer you do not go back unless you go bankcrupt or a disaster happens. It's a dick move. I've checked with everyone I know they were pretty shocked.

    So no, did not expect them to accept the small changes I asked for and I don't think that was the issue in the end.

     

  18. Posted

    Warning : There is gonna be a little venting and strong language because I'm quite angry but please bear with me (and mods please be comprehensive). Also for the love of god please avoid one sentence unhelpful responses with kindergarden advice.

    I've been looking for a job since november which is extremely hard even in a civilized western country because I lack experience. Employers feel so risk averse I sometimes think it's the great depression or a wallstreet crash - with the slightest mishap if you don't have much experience they all start rationalizing it negatively. Anyways. Back to my story.

    I've gotten a great first interview. Then a second one. In total I met 7 people from the company, totaly nailed both interviews. The HR offered me the job and send me a first version of the contract. All good right ? Nope. I go on negociating the contract, it goes perfectly fine and I sit waiting for the second version. The lady in charge of the recruitment then calls me and tells me she needs me to do a short trial. I'm like wtf but since I have no other choice (since i'm already committed to this job - I cancelled other interviews for it, yes big mistake) I do it. It goes fine. Several days later I send a mail asking what's up and I get the second version of the contract - finally all seems fine. Well no ! 5 day later I get a mail about how they still decided not to hire me.

    This is the worst way shape and form I've ever been treated in my entire life and while it's been several weeks I'm still enraged about it.

    I don't mind rejections much but this : acceptance, you're amazing , rejection, acception, rejection cycle just raped my self-esteem. It's a tremendous lack of respect and the employer doesn't care even a little bit about me and is gonna get away with it without ANY repercussions, while I'm here miserable having wasted several weeks and with a hole in my self-esteem on top of negative feelings about employers in general (which is not gonna help).

    I've never been an evil corporations guys and I'm fine with basic survival shit like not answering to candidates who you're not interested with. But going back on your word like that is just too much it's such a lack of integrity it's totaly proposterous. Thus I'm having feelings of rage I don't quite know what to do with and would like some help/insights with my situation.

    Thanks :)

     

  19. Posted

    I still can't grasp my head around the idea of the law of attraction.

    Like it's such a bad design : if whatever I think come trues it also means that me believing law of attraction doesn't work - will make it fail ? ¬¬

    So since I believe that it's too good to be true, it's gonna be too good to be true and there is nothing that can make me change that belief ?

    Because I truly believe I cannot make it work in my favour :/ So to some extent I'm completely lost on that issue because I do not believe that I can make anything happen with positive thinking. At least not on that scale. It's horrible.

    I'd love any help/tips with this.

  21. Posted

    I have several points I need to throw in this debate for anyone to understand :

    1) You cannot be higher than a stage you're judgmental about.

    So if you are judgmental about stage orange pickup you clearly have not integrated it. There is nothing wrong with casual sex - also notice how labeling sex as "casual" makes it sound bad ? Typical stage blue :D

    I might as well say that semi irregular sex is bad, like sleeping with someone only on monday's is very very bad. Please don't. You'll go straight to hell.

    If you can't get something you want you might as well call it bad, it's a great survival classic.

    2) Green builds on top of orange.

    There is a lot of talk about how "greeeeen or yellow" girls are all into this emotionnal connection which means that "they'll like me because I'm needy because I'm giving them all my romance and deep needy intimacy they all want" ¬¬

    Nope.

    You need to understand that completely integrated yellow is VERY rare, as well as green, and in every case the people involved will have their own preferences and will not ignore their survival agenda and biology, things that may seem like they respond to """orange""" value tactics because they still have a good deal of integration to go trough.

    Being a vegan hippie or socialist doesn't mean you're at green and will like someone based on his ability to provide deep intimacy.

    Like huuuge general statements about other members are completely proposterous :

    17 hours ago, electroBeam said:

    Let's not kid ourselves here, the people who reacted like seretoninluv, Elisabeth, etc. Reacted because they deeply value intimate emotional connection, rather than 1 night stands. This is the core value difference. They might deny it and try to sat they are fine with 1 night stands, and are ok with casual sex, but they aren't. This isn't ok from a green perspective because its limiting, you're not aiming as high as you could be. You're choosing mcdonalds over a very classy restaurant.

    Who told you 1 night stands cannot have deep emotionnal connection ? How do you know what they like and what they don't ? Maybe casual sex doesn't even exist in their reality and any sex is always beautiful no matter the time shape or form ?

    Also I'm quite sure they won't look down on people who are having so called "casual" sex just because they have their own personnal preferences.

  22. Posted

    5 hours ago, Elisabeth said:

     But I'm not your typical pickup target, never done a one-night stand

    The deal is it's never gonna be like that in real life.

    Like you've surely had a girlfriend tell you a story along the lines " oh I just met this nice guy and we had great chemistry and we went for drinks and now we've been dating for 3 months and it's great".

    If an attractive guy is suddently talking to you you're not gonna be like "omg I have to run I am a pick up target" xD 

    You're just gonna tell yourself a story oh I randomly met a cute guy while going out yesterday or during my lectures and that's it.

    The story of how you met your boyfriend is not gonna be : oh well he had to train for several years before he approached me (and it was the 51 first girls he talked to that night) and we got a great connection because he actually spent time working on his social skills and not being a complete looser. Duh.

    Becoming attractive has nothing to do with the creepy examples the media LOVES to throw at you !

     

  23. Posted

    15 hours ago, electroBeam said:

    So what was the problem then? What you think if you find a guy who has amazing sex, supports you financially, takes you out to dinner and holidays, that you will 100% be happy?

    It's completely backwards. It's not rational and a girl is never thinking oh I choose this because it's gonna make me happy.

    The sex is good BECAUSE there is a value gain on her part.

    The financial support, taking her out on dinner or vacation does nothing.

    If she likes you, financial support is gonna be nice and if she sees no value in you it's gonna be creepy like oh he's trying to buy me what a looser.

    15 hours ago, electroBeam said:

    What if this guy loves football, thinks spirituality is delusional, and loves making money and hates gays? That doesn't matter so long as he provides your survival needs?

    Exactly the same.

    If she likes you it doesn't matter ! She's gonna rationalize it! Plenty of people hate gays and they have loving wifes :D

    If she likes you she's just gonna think : " oh he's so cute when he's watching footbal", "great I love someone who is ambitious and wants to make a lot of money" "yeah whatever gays aren't great anyways"

    Yes she won't care. How she views that will be based on whatever she feels and the value she sees in you.

  24. Posted

    @electroBeam

    Honestly everyone will project crazy stories on top of you interpretation which will only muddy the waters.

    The core dynamic is broken and it only means you didn't provide enough value in terms of fitting to her survival needs. That's why she slowly got rid of you.

    It has nothing to do with not being similar do not even believe that for a second. That's a complete lie.

    Get better with women in general and stop overthinking it. It's that easy.