Why does life suck ?and how to overcome suffering? (According to Buddhism)This is an important topic that I feel qualified to talk about as I studied Buddhism and the concept of suffering in Buddhism.
So, Why Does Life Suck? Have you noticed yet that suffering and misery is inseparable part of life ? And if you haven't ,don't worry, you are for a rude awakening as you grow up and gain experience. This wisdom goes back 5000 years in the Buddha's teaching "life is suffering " .
But why ? Why does life suck fundamentally? According to Buddhism its because of your desires and cravings.
There are so many more things that make life so hard. It also feels like they come in waves. one bad thing happens, and then they keep coming, like the world wants to kick you when you are down.
So why does life suck sometimes? There are times when it has nothing to do with you, how hard you are trying in life, or how good of a person you are. Life gets hard, bad things happen, and sometimes it just plain sucks.
The fact that life sucks sometimes is never going to stop because life is filled with challenges and difficult moments that we simply can’t avoid. Even if you had unlimited money, fame, or fortune, you wouldn’t be able to avoid the inevitable difficulties.
The Good News:
If life is always going to suck, and adversity is always going to be coming for you, you can’t control that.
So stop trying. You can’t control anything in this world except your reactions. It’s time to stop focusing on the suck and begin focusing on the good in your life. Life is all about perspective, and perhaps right now you are choosing to obsess about the negative, the lack, the suck.
This is addictive because we are biologically programmed to do so, to assess all situations for danger through the negativity bias.
We are biologically programmed to focus on negativity because it keeps us safe and forces us to avoid things that may cause us harm or discomfort. We have evolved since the days of constant physical threats coming from wild animals or ominous sounds, but our survival instincts have remained intact. Because of this, we focus on the negative, and we now have to learn how to fight with the feelings that naturally arise from this.
The First Noble Truth in Buddhism is the idea that everyone suffers and that suffering is part of the world. Buddhists believe in the cycle of samsara, which is the cycle of birth, life, death and rebirth. This means that people will experience suffering many times over. All of the things a person goes through in life cause suffering and they cannot do anything about it. Instead, they have to accept that it is there. People may use temporary solutions to end suffering, such as doing something they enjoy. However, this does not last forever and the suffering can come back when the enjoyment ends. Buddhists want to work to try to stop suffering. However, the first step is to acknowledge that there is suffering :it happens and it exists.
The Second Noble Truth is the concept that something causes suffering to happen. For example, when a person is ill, they can only end the illness by understanding the cause. To do this, they may go to see a doctor, who may be able to diagnose the problem. This enables them to begin to understand the cause of their suffering.
Similarly, the Buddha taught that people need to understand the cause of suffering in order to move forward and leave it behind. The Buddha believed that most suffering is caused by a tendency to crave or desire things. A person might crave something nice to eat or desire to go on a nice holiday or earn lots of money. Buddhism teaches that through being dissatisfied with their lives and craving things, people suffer.
If a Buddhist wants to end suffering, they should search for ways to avoid ignorance, hatred and cravings. If they can do this then they will become free from samsara and reach enlightenment.
The Third Noble Truth is knowing that suffering can end. Buddhists must recognise that there is a way to stop suffering and move away from it, because by doing this they can get closer to reaching enlightenment. Buddhism teaches that people should not be too focused on wanting many different things as the enjoyment won’t last. Buddhists must try to stop craving as much as they can in order to work to end suffering.
If you have any questions. Feel free to ask 😌
Fear or cops while approaching girlsYour mind will invent endless excuses for not approaching. Realize that your mind is lying to you.
search for happiness
The endless search for happinessyou realize all of those things are shallow and superficial. You just have to be happy for yourself. Just be happy for itself. That will come in time, with many decades. I'm 51 now and only just in the past year or so really can be just happy for no reason at all...you don't "need" external things to make you happy - that's the entire illusion of the ego. Everything external is an illusion. (remember Absolute Solipsism?) The ego thinks it has to find happiness externally, but its internal, which means there is doesn't need to be any "reason" that makes you happy or source. Just be happy for itself. This is internal peace!
how to frame if u dont drink
How to own frame if you don't drink alcohol?I feel like it is so socially conditioned upon society that me not drinking alcohol will loose me some girls. It is a good reason to use to get them to come back to yours etc but I have not drunk in almost a month & intend on quitting. Does feel challenging going on these dates to pubs & getting a tonic water. I order it casually without making a big deal about it but I feel in the back of the girls mind, she is thinking why is he not getting a drink?
I recently went on a date & the girl kept saying it was strange how I don't drink alcohol. I tried to own my reality/frame but still I feel like it is so conditioned in society to drink.
I'd much rather improve my socialization skills without drinking though
I've awoken to the fact that everything is imaginary.I was one of the lucky few who watched Leo's solipsism video while it was up .and it helped me awaken to myself as God and as the only thing in existence.
I'm the only thing in existence. Full stop .every thing Is my dream. Even Leo, the Buddha, christ ,all spiritual teachers and teachings are my Imagining. That's what awakening is .
Awakening =complete solipsism.
You are God.
You are everything and nothing.
And I will explain this right now.
As far as your actual experience is concerned
The universe began at the exact same time that you became conscious.
So the big bang is just a story .
God creating the universe is just a story .
These are just stories as far as your actual experience knows.
So as far as your actual experience knows..your life came out of nowhere. Your life came out of nothing. So you are nothingness dreaming up an imaginary universe that's made out of nothingness because its imaginary. So you are nothingness dreaming up an imaginary life .and that imaginary life is made out of nothingness. You are nothingness dreaming up an imaginary universe and the universe is made out of nothingness because its imaginary.
So if you want the ultimate truth ..you gonna have to be able to differentiate between your fantasies from reality .you gonna have to differentiate Imagination from reality. Now , reality is imaginary but you need to realize the levels of Imagination that are going on here .
So at one level of Imagination..right now you are thinking that there are things outside of these walls of the room that you are in. At another level of Imagination you are thinking that other people are thinking about you. You are not realizing that all of this is imaginary. You are not realizing that when you think of what is outside of these walls of your room..you are not realizing that that's imaginary .you are imagining that right now .
Your past ..your entire past ..that past things that you've experienced..that's all imaginary..the past doesn't exist .it's imaginary. Only NOW exists .so this is how you are dreaming this reality. Only now exists .also the future. If you are thinking about the future, what are you doing? You are just imagining. If you think of the past ..what are you doing?You are just imagining. You are Imagining the past .it's not real .it doesn't exist .you're living in eternity. Only now exists
Tap into infinite consciousness by realizing that the past does not exist. The past and the future are Imaginary. So what's happening right now is the only thing that exists. And this is going to be a memory as well .so this present moment is also imaginary.
And all that made me happier than ever .I finally awoken .thank you Leo (myself ) for helping me awaken to the highest truth in existence.
The Amazing Power of Feeling(Disclaimer: As the following text is based on my personal experience, it will most likely be flawed in numerous ways. Also, please keep in mind the inherent limitations of language. If there seems to be contradiction or paradox, it may be precisely because of the very nature of language. Sometimes contradictions themselves are the most powerful pointers. )
"Infinite Love never fails."
In order for you to know, where I’m coming from, it makes sense to give you some context.
How did I stumble upon the path of self-actualization? Well, the very core of it was constituted by fears, insecurities, and a lack of self-worth. But the interest of understanding anything about reality also emerged at that time – no matter what the topic was, I was interested in understanding it. I came up with the term of “not negating knowledge”. All of these lead me to better myself, to understand more about myself and reality, and ultimately, to live a life worth living.
Eventually, I stumbled upon actualized.org; as I always had quite a good grasp on conceptual understanding, I soaked up Leos videos like a sponge. In the conceptual/ rational sense, I always considered myself to be quite sharp.
With self-actualization came meditation. Awareness, mindfulness, and consciousness became the crux of my everyday life. I noticed that whenever a person did something really good, they always talked about how doing it consciously was a key component to their mastery.
Awareness, mindfulness, consciousness – terms like these sounded to me as if they were ‘things’, which lie in the center of my head, right behind my eyes. At least, that’s what it felt like. This misunderstanding led to me being ‘in my head’ too much. In consequence, meditative practices had more of a concentration character, as well as an ‘analytical, non-labelling awareness’.
For a long time, there was this feeling that there is ‘something off’. Something, which does not sit quite right. One ‘component’ was missing, but I never knew what it was. As I searched for the answer, I turned my psyche (and pretty much my whole life) upside down, constantly bettering myself to ‘find that thing’ – until 6 months ago.
That was when I noticed very deep wounds within myself. I realized that I denied my emotions since a very long time, unknowingly suppressing them. I denied feeling my emotions because I was afraid of being vulnerable. I didn’t want to admit that I was broken inside. Self-actualization and spirituality only deepened the denial. Eventually, the denial of my emotions caused bigger suffering than biting the bullet and going through the emotional release. I was at a point, where I couldn’t stand it anymore.
My self-image shattered; and I rebuild it in a ‘conscious way’. I swore to myself to never run away from feeling again. Half a year has passed, and some massive emotional healing has happened since then. As a thank you for everything I learned from this forum, I wanted to share some of my insights and findings along the way. I hope this post will be helpful to the one reading.
Feeling is Direct Experience
Synonyms: Actuality, Now, The Present Moment
I want to start with direct experience, because everything what is being written here ultimately tries to point towards direct experience. By writing about feeling, I don't want to imply to think about feeling, but to rather just feel (In fact, I could even stop the post right here, but I won’t).
As soon as you feel what is in your experience, you will recognize that feeling is direct. With feeling, we bypass our thoughts, and get in direct contact with what is actual. Thoughts veil direct experience and make us ‘lose contact’ with the present moment. Funny enough, feeling is prior to thoughts. So even though thoughts cause a disconnection from direct experience, we can also feel how the thoughts themselves feel, thus ‘anchor ourselves in the now’.
Feeling is Acceptance
When we choose to feel, acceptance is inevitable. Without ‘thinking it out loud’ we say to ourselves: “Alright, just for this moment, I will allow myself to see what is currently going on in my experience.” (Thus, accepting everything as is).
Oftentimes, we fight against emotions, which feel bad. We try to keep ‘em out of the house or lock them away. By doing this, the only effect we achieve is ingraining beliefs about ourselves even deeper, as we give them more meaning and treat them as more real, as they actually are, instead of just letting them go. Self-referential thoughts are conditioned and learned, even though they oftentimes seem ‘rock solid’. And because of that, we do have the ‘power’ to let them come and go. Welcoming self-referential thoughts (maybe with an inner smile) is just as important as letting them go.
But in order to let them go, we must first accept them. Acceptance by thinking about accepting may be one way, but more often than not, it simply doesn’t work because it feels forced. Feeling, on the other hand, makes acceptance effortless. Feeling already implies that everything which is being felt, is accepted – because we ‘agree’ to feel what already is the case. By feeling, we give our body and mind the necessary space for emotional healing.
Feeling is healing. It frees you by leading you to emotional release.
Feeling reveals Truth
Rather than entangling ourselves further in thought stories (=beliefs), via feeling we can 'untangle' this mess and see the truth behind the thoughts, which veil direct experience. To be conscious of truth is to be conscious of direct experience – which, counterintuitively, means that there is nobody/no person/ no identity being conscious. When you think that ‘you become conscious of something’ you got it backwards, because a ‘you which becomes conscious of something’ implies an identity which realizes something, which is not the case. Language becomes really limiting and misleading here. You could say the exact opposite of what I said, and it would still be as true as what I wrote. So I’ll just stop here. Remember, all of this is not to be thought about. Thoughts don’t ‘solve’ this ‘riddle’ (there is no riddle to be solved).
‘You’ are nothing but a thought. ‘You being conscious’ is also a thought, as well as ‘you dropping the identification with thoughts’ or ‘you connecting to direct experience’. Untangle via feeling.
Truth may ‘hurt you down the way’. It may even amplify suffering because the lies we tell to ourselves become illuminated with the discovery of what is true (the discovery that we were lying to ourselves the whole time can hurt but can also be the most hilarious thing). It is the only way out of suffering because once you ‘discover truth’, you discover that which is beyond (or prior to) thoughts and identity. Running away from truth (by resisting feeling) is not going to work very well for your wellbeing because truth (=existence) is inherent. You can’t fight it, as existence is already the case. That’s why you need to surrender to it (=not running away from feeling in order to resist what is true/what is the case).
The upside is that truth feels absolutely amazing and is everything ‘you’ always were looking for. Once ‘found’, it feels like your back is being watched by an unlimited source. Truth is good. Everything aligned with truth feels good. Fighting against it does not. Feeling, and feeling what really feels good to you, guides you ‘towards truth’.
To be able to see that fighting against truth does not feel good, you really need to be honest with yourself. I say that because you could also be lying to yourself that you’re feeling good, when really, you’re not (which was the case with me), hence honesty. Discovering what feels good can be a slippery slope, as the ego is the most brilliant liar. Truly a witty mastermind, constantly tricking you into believing stuff, which makes you think that you feel good, but it actually makes you feel bad. Gotta love that fool for his genius. Discernment is key. Feeling allows honest discernment.
We also may see relative, partial truths behind thoughts. An example may be: “Ohh, now I realize why I felt like shit the whole time. Unconsciously, I was focusing on these self-referential thoughts with negative connotations. As every thought multiplies and manifests, they were the cause of my suffering. If that is so, I have the choice to direct my attention towards thoughts that feel good and serve my wellbeing. But how do I separate the wheat from the chaff? Feeling, of course!”
A ‘more fundamental truth’ arises from these inspections (even though there really is no such thing as a ‘more real truth’ or a ‘less real truth’), which is that there is ‘something’ prior to thought stories and all the emotions that come with them: groundless being.
This groundless being is not perceivable, because there is nothing prior to it, thus, there is nothing which could perceive ‘it’. It is crucial to realize that we are it. That’s why self-inquiry is so tricky. We try to ‘find it’ – but there is nothing to find, because it is already right here! Any search implies that there is something to be found. But how do you want to find something you’re already ‘looking’ at? Being is being.
That's what all these spiritual pointers are trying to point to: that which is unspeakable, which is not possible to articulate, because the articulation itself is ‘it’. Nothing is outside of it. Yet, terms like nothing, emptiness, awareness, consciousness, love, now, and so on try to point to ‘that thing’.
‘It’ is not perceivable, yet we can feel into it. Meditation is something much more to be felt, rather than to be ‘focused’ about. I personally found it easier to feel into it (=feeling how existence feels), rather than trying to inspect it with awareness. Inspecting it with awareness mislead me, because I tried to ‘inspect truth’ like I would inspect the hand with awareness. It always lead me to try to inspect a form (regardless of which shape or not-shape this form [or not-form] may take). With feeling on the other hand, I can simply feel and relax into it, and melt with it, until there is no meditator left. Only existence.
The realization that we already are that which we are trying to find resolves the paradox of 'perceiving groundless being'. We don’t ‘need anything’ per se to understand being because it is already understood because we already exist as being. Language really challenges me to articulate it, to ‘deliver it to you’. Ultimately, just forget everything which is being said here and ‘inspect’ your being, i.e. melt into being. Being trapped in the realm of language unfortunately will lead you nowhere with this inquiry.
‘Perceiving’ truth/nothing is the hardest thing to do, as it is beyond perception; yet it is absolutely the most natural and simplest thing to do, because it is our core existence and literally needs no effort; even wanting to understand what is being talked about here implies effort, but it really is effortless.
Another helpful pointer towards effortlessness might be: Do you need to do anything in order for this moment to continue? Try to stop the moment. Try to choose what you will do next. Try to take absolute and full ownership of the movements of your body. Are you choosing to move your body the way you do or are you more like on autopilot? You see, ‘it all runs by itself’, without any effort from any person. Inspect. See that existence flows effortlessly. Feel, that you do not have to do anything in order for you to exist. Feel the relaxation that comes with that effortless flow. Allow yourself to feel the goodness that naturally ‘flows out of it’. Nothing more is needed.
Feeling opens the doors to Love
For this part I want to share an experience, as I think that captures it best. Also, truth is love (see previous section).
It was a night in which I felt absolutely terrible. Weeks before that night, I was already confronted with several emotional flushes, as well as an inner opening towards feeling. But in that night, I was at a very low point. So I decided to go for a walk. I put on some melancholic music and completely surrendered to feeling every emotion that was coming my way. Feeling certainly didn’t make it better, as the pain was intensified by feeling. It saturated every emotion. But I was sick of putting up barriers against what is true and how I really feel. I was sick of lying to myself. This erased all barriers against any resistance.
Halfway through the walk I started to notice a very powerful, empathetic force that was permeating my whole body. It was distinct from me, yet it was a part of me. I felt a very deep acceptance coming from that force. It was loving me deeply, absolutely regardless of how I felt or who I was. It felt as though that love was smiling at me, was giving me warm hugs, from within. I felt at home.
What I also noticed was that running away from bad feeling emotions robs them from their aesthetic. It turns them ugly. Really ugly. But feeling the deep, hurting wounds has a certain kind of beauty to it. I was really surprised to see that this is even a possibility.
As that experience went on, every wound was washed away, which actually made me really confused. The impermanent nature of reality was revealed to me. I was thinking to myself “Hold on, I’m supposed to feel sad”. The thought told me, that I’m supposed to feel sad (trying to ‘freeze the moment’). But when I felt within, there was no sense of sadness anymore (impermanence). Granted, I wasn’t feeling really great either. But the heavy emotional waves from half an hour ago evaporated and I felt so much lighter. I was ready, to allow myself, to feel good again. Grinning, I walked back home and felt deeply healed and loved. Looking back, I understand now, that this was an experience of deeply healing Self-Love.
On another occurrence, instead of being loved from a ‘distinct’ force, I was the one who was absolutely loving everything which was going on in my experience. I remember riding my bike. My hands were freezing, wind blew against my face, and it was really not that comfortable. Oddly, I was loving all of it. Every sensation was being felt deeply, thus accepted deeply, thus loved deeply. My energy levels shot through the roof and I felt utterly at peace and whole. Even though there were many ‘incomplete’ things in my life, I felt as complete and whole as you can feel. I understood that anything external can never ‘make you complete’. In order to feel complete, the only necessary thing is Self-Love. And when you realize that Truth is inherent, you understand that Self-Love is always the case and was never not the case. It is only our thinking minds that make us belief that there is incompletion. We already are complete. Realizing just how much you are being loved, and how you are that love which loves everything.. leaves you in deep awe for creation.
Feeling is a compass
Feeling within shows you what you really want and how you really want to feel. By listening to the internal compass of feeling, it guides you towards the life you want to live (Dreamboard). By letting go thoughts which don’t feel good and choosing to focus on thoughts which do feel good, one starts to effortlessly navigate through the inner and outer world in harmony.
Feeling also ‘monitors’ your alignment with truth. When you honestly feel good, ‘you are aligned with truth’. If you happen to feel bad, allow yourself to take a step back and inspect in your direct experience what causes dissonance with truth. Feel within and it will soon tell you, ‘what’s wrong’. It’s an intuitive process – the more you do it, the better you get. Yet, ‘answers’ are always available to you and do not need any further process besides feeling within.
As feeling opens the doors to love, this also leads to a life full of love. Simply following and trusting your inner guidance via feeling generates love. It’s almost like a cheat code because the more you feel, the clearer you get about your life, and the more love comes your way.
How to feel?
There’s nothing to learn about feeling. It’s natural and you always feel. And really, the full spectrum of feeling goes way beyond language. Words only point to other words and serve as a very rough approximation towards direct experience. Still, thoughts sometimes overcomplicate the simplest. If that’s the case, you can use these pointers:
Where in your body and/or mind are sensations occurring?
How do they feel? You don’t need to make this a mental exercise by saying “I feel some tingling in my belly”. Just notice the sensations and feel how they feel. When thought stories about the sensations come up, feel how the thought stories feel, and allow them to come and go. If you don’t feel anything, that’s also something to feel.
You do not control which thoughts come your way, so you do not need to take ownership for them. Simply feel whether they feel good or bad to you. It’s up to you which thoughts you want to give your attention to or which thoughts you give more or less credit to. Choose whatever you want to focus on.
When sensations are noticed, take your time, and stick with them at least for a bit. No need to rush through your body. How does the sensation change over time? How do thoughts about that sensation change over time? Feel into both of these questions.
Also, you can either feel in a very specific way (e.g. focusing your feeling on your belly) or you can feel in a very expansive way (e.g. ‘feeling everything at once’ – the whole spectrum within and without of the body).
The latter is actually a very fun exercise: First feel your whole body at once (maybe after having scanned your body from bottom to top). Then feel the boundaries of your body (e.g. skin, nose, eyes etc.). Really try to feel, what is outside and what is within the boundary. Where is the touching point of ‘outside’ and ‘inside’? Maybe you will notice that ‘boundary’ is nothing more than a thought. It’s really fun to let the lines blur! There are no walls between you and the external world. Thoughts make you believe that there are walls by creating illusory boundaries between ‘you’ and ‘not you’. But when you actually feel the ‘limits of boundaries’, there is no more separation.
When we turn up that ‘feeling knob’ really high, soon, everything vanishes. I really don’t know how to describe it, but when that ‘occurs to me’, ‘I’ start to forget everything I have learned, and just melt into what is. The meditator falls away and everything that stays is just existence or groundless being or awareness or truth or all of these words which try to point to ‘that’.
‘It happens to me’ when I try to go to the core of feeling. Like trying to taste the tongue, I try to feel feeling, which leads to that moment of forgetting everything. I can’t even quite recall the ‘experience’ because I only recognize that ‘that’ happened, when ‘I’ (ego) snap back. All I assume is that I can’t recall the experience because there is no one to experience it. I’m still exploring what’s up with that because it’s really ‘new territory’ for me. Just wanted to put this info out here in order to let you know that feeling is not limited to the body/mind, and that this ‘going beyond’ is also a possibility.
So, that’s about it. Way too many words, but I still hope you could get something out of it. By now you must’ve heard the word feeling so often that you are absolutely sick of it, which is great! No need for words, really.
Thank you @Leo Gura for paving the way and providing such an immensely deep and broad catalogue of understanding. There is still so much to explore in life and I’m so grateful to have stumbled upon your teachings in this regard. The quality of my life has shot up drastically thanks to everything you teach. I’m super excited about what is yet to be seen, yet to be learned. You really are a pioneering genius in what you are doing. I literally can’t thank you enough. Honestly, thank you man.
Thank you @Nahm for always being so direct with every one of your teachings. Always cut to the chase, always full of love. If you wouldn’t have reinforced the importance of feeling so often, I probably would still be stuck in my head today. But you helped me open the doors to love in tremendous ways. Thanks to you I do feel enabled to create a life full of love, a life I want to live, a dream life. I feel like the foundation for everything which is yet to come has been set. Words cannot describe how grateful I am to have learned from you. Thank you.
I'm addicted to stimulation ,Any advice?meditating for 40 minutes non stop, even if it is a noisy meditation, greatly reduces the compulsion to seek stimulation at every moment. it is a matter of accustoming the mind. the phone does the opposite of meditation, it makes you addicted. It's not a profound matter, just mechanical
alcoho for personal devel
Alcohol for personal development?I've been thinking about this for a while now and I've recently rewatched Leo's video on using psychedelics for personal development which made me eventually raise this question: why alcohol couldn't be used for the same purpose?
Given that it's used consciously, similarly what Leo said for psychedelics, drinking some safe amount of beer (~1 liter of 5.4% IPA for me) alone while focusing inside and being prepared for it, for example, was able to give me sudden insights on things were I was mentally stuck, permanently relieve stress in the inside, and also filled me with warm love (to my own surprise). Sometimes I share the same experiences when drinking pu-erh teas.
I don't tell that it's on par with psychedelics (I haven't tried them, but based on what I heard about them, I have some vague assumptions about their effects) but might make an argument for "validating" the use of alcohol within some boundaries, as a lightweight and fully legal alternative.
if i sm everything
If i am everything, why does it seem like I'm human?If i am my coffee table as much as i am Ethan, then why do i experience Ethan and not coffee table?
Why am i not a coffee table that tries to find out what it is versus being Ethan that's trying to find out what he is?
Why am i aware of Ethan in default and not coffee table by default?
How can psychedelics help whit trauma/anxiety etc?Trauma needs to be made conscious and healed with love and forgiveness.
Psychedelics are perfect for this.
You need a desire and intention to get to the deep truths of your psyche and neuroses.
Do Affirmations Actually Work or NOT?This is silly.
I've always known I was intelligent and no matter how many times I tell myself such, I will not become dumb as a result of it.
Affirmations work to a degree, but they require massive repetition and they can't be your only tool for solving problems.
And visualization is more powerful than affirmations. Visualization can be extremely powerful if practiced seriously and consistently.
Do Affirmations Actually Work or NOT?Do affirmations work or not?? I read a book from Mark Manson. He basically said that everytime you tell yourself that you are rich, you remind yourself that you are poor. Everytime you said you are intelligent, you remind yourself that you are dumb.
Do affirmations work or not? It seems to me that if you are already something, you don't have the need to remind it to yourself...
solotion to suffeering
Whats the solution to suffering?So I suffer a lot and i dont like it, its too much and sometimes i even get suicidal
How can you be okay with suffering? How one can be okay with pain? Isnt it all of its point to be not okay with that?
What a horrible situation
I am selfish -> I suffer
I suffer -> I want to stop suffer -> stop be selfish - I am afraid.
so it looks likes it or i keep on suffering or deal with fears
Why the fuck it works that way??
I am feeling lost
leo comment love
How do I Cope with Modern Masculine Girls in the U.S???This is a dose of double bullshit:
Bullshit #1: The quantity of sex a woman has has nothing to do with how masculine she is. In fact, highly attractive, highly feminine women will have tons of sex -- simply because they desire it and its easily available.
Bullshit #2: Your numbers are a fiction. Most women that age have not had sex with 10+ partners. You pulled this number out of your paranoid ass.
Bullshit #3: If you could have sex with 10 people, you would. The problem is you cannot find 10 people.
That's the whole problem here. You lack in love and now you developed a toxic worldview about sex and women because you never got the kind of love you wanted.
You are living with an empty cup and hold a grudge against women who receive love freely. You are resentful about it but in denial about it. Hence you hate women.
Your feelings are based on a lie.
The reality is that you simply lack love and haven't figured out a healthy way to get it. Hence you invent this toxic and bitter view of women. And if you don't correct your view it will reinforce itself. In order words, your view will ensure that no quality loving woman will ever love you. Why would she love you when you are so judgmental and bitter and don't even love yourself enough to stop hating others?
Your view of women is ugly and selfish and therefore you will repel many women who would otherwise sleep with you.
Yeah, well, as I told you, stop believing your lying mind. Why are you so gullible?
Dating Advice for Women - How to Attract a Man that Mirrors YouSince this is a very male-dominated forum, I figured I would put a few bits of advice on here for a woman looking to find her match.
1. Work on yourself psychologically - (Number One Advice!!!) You will only ever find a man who mirrors your Shadow until you integrate it, so integrate your Shadow so that you won't attract or be attracted to it in real life. Work on getting rid of any self-esteem issues and codependent tendencies especially, as these tend to attract abusive men.
2. Know and respect your own boundaries - This means knowing what you do and don't want and knowing what your dealbreakers are. You don't have any ability to change anyone. But you can be firm about what you want and sort anyone who doesn't fit.
3. Make your relationship decisions with an 80/20 heart to mind ratio - Most relationship decisions should be made by following your emotions, instincts, and intuition as this will always bring you to who mirrors you (either mirroring your shadow or your personality). But you should also keep the mind around to keep sight on your boundaries and dealbreakers. But avoid letting the mind create huge lists of traits that you require a partner to possess. The mind will sort everyone if you let it lead over the heart.
4. Adopt the "I am the prize" mindset in dating - Never chase anyone or compete for anyone's attention, no matter how much you care about him. The man should be the one reaching out 75% of the time as he is the one winning you over, not the other way around. The egg does not chase the sperm.
5. Be friendly and social with a network of people who are cut from the same cloth as you - Have a strong social network with many acquaintances, friends, and very close friends. This is the best way to meet a partner. Honestly... this bit of advice should be number one for both men and women! It's the best way to meet someone.
6. Never date a guy who is outside your social network - This one might seem extreme to many people because of us living in a very atomized society. But it's super important! The advice here is, if you haven't known and interacted with a guy platonically for at least a month or two, then don't go out with that guy... not even on a 30 minute coffee date. If your relationship to a man starts out on a romantic/sexual foot, it doesn't give enough platonic time to develop a proper attraction or bond. It's also a red flag because he probably starts off on that foot with many women. Also, full stop, don't do dating apps. Dating apps blunt the intuition... which is your best tool in dating.
7. Nothing lukewarm - Only form relationships with men who you feel very strongly about. Let your intuition show you who you like.
8. Develop your own unique style - When you have your own style, of course, do it for yourself. But a perk of having a unique style is that you'll tend to attract men of similar tastes. Also, it tends to repel the men who don't share your tastes.
9. Don't try too hard - Be yourself and meet people. And if a man strikes your fancy, then don't overthink it. Interact with him casually and playfully but don't come on too strong.
10. Look out for red flags - A lot of this has to do with numbers 1 and 2, so begin there first. But also watch out for red flags that indicate that a given man is unkind or has weak character. For example, things like not having a job, being rude to waitstaff, making jokes at other's expense.
11. Know your green flags - Know which positive qualities you require in a partner. (For example - kindness, respect, hard-working, discipline, etc.)
12. Be in your Yin energy - Similar to number 4. Be in your Yin energy, which means focusing towards being, receptivity, warmth, creativity, intuition, etc. This will not only attract men in general... it will also attract compatible men who appreciate your unique Yin energy.
Edit: One last piece of advice...
You must understand that love is blind and that there is a chance you will fall in love with any man you spend a considerable amount of time with. And once that deeper bond happens, it will be difficult to sever the attraction. So, be sure that you only spend a lot of time around men of strong character. If you're hanging out with violent criminals, you'll likely fall for a violent criminal. If you're hanging out with immature men, you'll likely fall for an immature man. If you're hanging out with good men, you'll likely fall for a good man.
How To Deny Someone Without Hurting Their Self-EsteemI really need help setting and defining my boundaries. Does anyone have any advice?
why ppl are arrogant
Why people are arrogant and egotistical?Why people are so fucking arrogant they fly into the sky with their noes?..
Who do we think we are?
Why 90 % of people are so fucking arrogant, ignorant and delusional?
root of suffering is not desire
What's the root cause of suffering?The root of suffering is in wanting things to be different than they are. Total acceptance of all eventualities is the key to freedom from suffering.
Note that 'freedom from suffering' doesn't mean that bad things won't happen. This isn't magic.
choosing happiness by making up your own truthsTruth/Love/Esctasy is the realization that there is no difference whatsoever between anything.
When all difference is seen to be imaginary and irrelevant, you reach infinite joy. It's an ocean of Love so deep you shudder in a metaphysical cosmic Mindgasm.
Then you understand what true happiness is. True happiness is simply realizing that nothing is better than anything else. Period. That's when all seeking stops.
So long as you are under the illusion that one thing is better than another, you will always suffer because you will seek the better and resent the worse.
The ultimate Truth is that nothing is better than anything else because all things are equally wondrous. Ta-da! Your unhappiness turned out to be nothing other than bias.
If Time is a Concept, Why Do We Have Memory?
If Time is a Concept, Why Do We Have Memory?If nothing is happening and we are in a dream, imagining a past, how do we even have memory?? or an illusion of having memory???
Just like how when we wake up from a dream and see that the people/place/events were a dream, this very thing could be the same - taking up no space/no time/not happening.
I can see that to experience what we are experiencing, we have to have a memory otherwise the experience wouldn't work. Could it be that we are looking around and we are constantly making up a story about ourselves/past (and that looking around includes not just what we see with our eyes but what we see in our mind).
If there is no absolute separation from inside/outside a house and apply that to inside/outside the body and inside/outside the mind - then the stuff happening in the internal is just as much reality as the external - but there is no where to divide the line between internal and external?? - so the "memory" isn't just in the head but also in the environment?? (Idk lol)
So the "memory" IS "reality"
But reality constantly changes so the memory constantly changes too?
And memory is tied to time but time is a concept and memory is a concept..
the memory isn't over there in the brain, just like reality isn't some other place - reality is right here. memory is right here too.?
consciousness has access to everything so it can see everything - but it has no memory so it can't take something from one moment to the next - there is no absolute dividing line between one moment to the next and between conciousness and moments - so the moments are consciousness - there are not several moments - just one (no time). the consciousness sees what is in front of it as an appearance - but it is imagining what it sees?
What exactly is the illusion?
What exactly is the illusion?Watched Leo's latest video.
So, I'm God, Love/Infinity/Oneness/Nothingness/Consciousness imagining itself to be a human being, living a life, doing stuff, having a "spiritual awakening", learning about stuff, interacting with other people, struggling, surviving etc, because I'm Love. There is nothing else "to do". I'm entertaining myself with a cosmic drama.
For a long time I thought that the illusion was in 'my mind', constructed along the years because of survival. My childhood, all the life experience, has caused me to be stuck in the illusion. But this is part of the illusion, right? Survival, "my mind", "spirituality", "ego", "developmental stages" etc, all part of the illusion? Imagined by Me to keep myself immersed in the cosmic play? What would be the point of spiritual work if there was no struggle?
So what the actual fuck is the illusion really? Am I just in complete self-consciousness imagining "an illusion", spirituality, ego and survival for myself, even though there is no such things? I am already in complete God-consciousness, within, imagining a "lesser" consciousness? The stupidest, most clever thing ever, "as if, but not really".
Get what I'm asking? Feeling a great beauty and "truthness" as I'm writing this. The latest video really woke up something in me.
your most effective method for 'not believing the mind'
Your most effective method for 'not believing the mind'Share your top of the list most effective method for 'not believing the mind'
(I believe) this is one of the most important Spiritual rituals to master, and yet one of the hardest tools to master.
What worked best for you?
How exactly did you do it?
Holy sh*t there is no mind...There is no mind... Neither are there any thoughts... What the hell...?
Damn, Leo wasn't kidding when he said that we're completely oblivious to our self-deceptions.
Wow. What a trickster, what a non-illusion.
No-mind was "hiding" behind itself...
Can't wait to explore this a little more. Though there's really nothing to explore, but let's play pretend?
How to stop wanting a relationship?How do I stop wanting a relationship? I have serious issues with loving myself. I go as far as hating myself. I keep trying to rely on someone else to love me. Someone else to think I’m beautiful to satisfy my self-image. That is why I want a relationship. I believe loving myself would be the first step to solve this but I am trying so hard to open my mind to it. Idk what to do. I’ve been trying for a long time. I’ve meditated and realized I need to stop identifying myself with what I do. Anything bad or even good that I do should not be labeled as myself. Putting that into the way I think is different. Accepting myself is so difficult. Is there anything else I should be doing?
root of suffering is not desire
The root of suffering IS not desireDesire is the source of suffering, because anything that can be desired will never deliver enduring happiness. We chase after transience, as if it it has the power to make us whole. It is insane to seek permanence in the impermanent. Consciousness is the end of suffering, because it is infinitely and always abundant.