Spence94

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Posts posted by Spence94


  1. Last night i did around 20 minutes of kriya yoga and drifted off into deep meditation before bed. I usually do this.

    I experienced some shaking of my nervous system, this also happens sometimes when working with the kundalini. However this time was different.

    The usuall darkness ( with a hint of red) of the nothingness i dwell in during the meditation shifted. I started using  a mantra ( I AM) as my mind started chattering. A few minutes into the mantra there was a clearing. The nothingness turned into a powerful shimmering golden light. There was no mind, no thought, it was so obvious, it was so clear, it was right there. I could not help but laugh and laugh. 

    It felt like the magician showed me how the magic trick was done and i was laughing at myself for how obvious it was and how silly i had been. 

    The laughing calmed... i meditated. It was blissfull, it was pure, i could go on forever without a problem. 15 minutes passed ( i think). I opened my eyes, i laughed some more, i spoke from the seat of my awareness. The clouds were gone. The smog had been lifted. What dominated was a presence, my awareness is what dominated the room, it was beyond my body, but my body was part of it, perhaps happening through it. It was perfect, i wanted more meditation, just to be with it. 

    It lasted around 25 minutes in total, maybe longer, i dont know. I led down. It was over. The light as a feather state of bliss was gone...

    I am not sure. It felt like that was it, it just seemed so obviously the case, like i knew it. What is left is a desire to take the persuit more seriously and with more respect. 

    Just thought i would share because i know you lot love this kinda shit, didnt know where else to go. Much love and peace to you all.

    xx

     


  2. Choose one thing. Dominate one thing. Master the fuck out of one thing. Youll fail if you dont pick one thing above all else.

    Im kinda bought into this Sagely vision and im allowing that to become my own unique version but im stuck between the overlap of life purpose/ Sagehood and self Actualization.

    I originally wanted to teach people yoga one day but since adopting a new vision for my life as a whole it seems my life has gone beyond just that.

    After a year learning kriya and Asana from a true Yogi i now find myself in China learning Tai Chi and Qi gong from some masters. I have mindfulness retreats and such planned too. I also love lifting weights and my body and wanna start figuring out how to bring conciousness into that.

    I have defined my practice as

    " A practice and study of the science of yoga, meditation, movement, psychology, body&mind, energy, emotions and awareness"

    However underneath ive written my field of Mastery as simply "yoga" but doesnt quite ring with me anymore.

    I saw Leo comment recently saying that being a sage IS a specialization despite it being a path covering a broad spectrum.

    Basically i dont wanna limit myself and am excited about the prospect of exploring different fields in relation to my practice, while isolating elements and going deep at times. I basically wanna master how this Human machine of body, mind and conciousness operates and can be optimized on all levels. Teaching and sharing what i discover for myself. Its kind of a merging of many things ontop of a more broad vision.

    Make sense? Too much? Am i just dabbling? Should i narrow my focus more or just shut up and go with it and the opportunities infront of me? Any thoughts?


  3. Have an issue in my understanding. The main idea Leo is suggesting is fully feeling emotions and become a superhuman superconductor for emotions in our body by being aware and mindful. However in the slightly older video, Leo emphasises the filter of interpretation we have "control" over. That video gives of a more positive thinking vibe.

    So how to reconcile? I understand letting go of control by building mindfulness but after relinquishing control and feeling emotions enough, is it then wise to switch your thinking and persepctive to create a more positive emotion, (as long you give the emotion space to do its thing)?This ometimes feels forced to me, but also makes sense in answering the question of we transition to more resourceful emotions.

     

    Or is there a deeper aspect to emotions im unaware of whereby they begin to shift and change simply by the mindfulness creating "pseudo control" as leo says.

    It seems the videos are odds with eachother in places. Not sure if the old one is just an outdated perspective for me now or im missing something here....


  4. Do we need an articulated mission statement of what our life purpose is?

    I guess the benefits are that it focuses you and keeps you on track to take action and know what that action is about.

    but is their a danger in limiting ourselves? boxing ourselves into one domain/area of mastery?

    or should we remain adapatable to a changing statement over time through experience and natural developments?

    I think i have a fear of solidfying it into one sentence that might turn out to not quite be the thing i want it to be in the future....

    or choosing the wrong domains of mastery...


  5. Update.

    Realising my life is short, realisations to do whatever the fuck i wanna do instead of all the things i think i should do. Practicing slowing shit down, accepting myself and inspiring myself.

    Feeling grateful for these beautiful surroundings and rivers i can swim in. This wonderul town in Southern China is a great place to call home...for now.

    Been absorbing into 'how to be a strategic motherfucker'. Going to use it as a strong foundation for all else, as the definition of strategy expands way beyond thinking and planning. Initial realisations are, that there is no right and wrong. I can focus myself inwards while at the same time having a foot outside. I can act to become whatever i want. I was being sucked into an Actualized.org ideology or 'yoga' ideology, but i was failing to see the true aim of the teachings. I am in charge. In the world, not of the world.

    Transcendence of self and an orientation from a deeper connection to that which is underlying all, does not mean the destruction of the self. I was failing to see the way. As Sharon salzburg put it "we dont just become soup!"

    IMG_20171028_174301.jpg


  6. Same here. i spent my teenage years drinking and partying like most British Teens do, nowadays its not what i am into, i partied it out. I travel, i live in other places, people come and go. I enjoy my company and interacting with people that come my way, it leads to more enjoyable moments for me. However i cant stand socialising for socialising sake. There is definitly cultural and social pressure for that. Im always prodded to socialise, activley hunt down new friends and find a 'circle'. Ive tried that many times, it yields shit results for me. one of the pitfalls of self actualized choice, become unique and i see through so much bullshit in people and culture and behaviour its hard for me. Now i only wanna surround myself with likeminded people or those with there own passion and purpose. Dont feel you have to 'find friends' or go out and just socialise, do your thing man,but persue your vision buy get out the house as well. Follow a hobby/passion, interact with people as much as you feel inclined and interested, be genuine, stay connected to the world but in your own way of staying connected, not how you are expected to be. :)


  7. I was in a similiar frame in my last year of University. Obsessed with the idea, the vision, the dream, the newfound possibilities of change. Ease of the peddle brother. Excercise, Meditate, be patient, the storm will clear. Life changes in radical ways at 16. Slow it down and get in touch with the reality of where you are at, we are keen to make change but this journey is 20 marathons in a row, even if you know youll die soon.  Practice self acceptance, dont be so hard on yourself, trust in the longterm process of transforming yourself. The lessons and experiences you learn will be passed on to others one day, have faith in a possibility of change, there may well be a reason you have certain things to overcome at this stage in your life. You are young dude, dont forget to let your hair down, recconect with nature, go hike a moutain. Shake shit up and visit another culture away from the books and quotes staring at you in the face. Grow from new experience of life you discounted before, have the courage to do this. You might be surpirsed as to what you find.

    You sound bogged down. Life consists of many elements, not just neurotic drives for greatness, a true king must be balanced.

     

    Peace


  8. Have you noticed a shift in your attitudes and motivations for training since you began conciousness work?

    I am embarking on approaching all my trainings from a more spiritual perspective, infusing body and mind. Any weight training or body work for me is about the act itself, the moment. The deeper placement, space and understanding i discover within my body. On top of this, i simply love the feeling and lifestyle. Its hard to switch paradigms, but as i work on it i become more aware of the 90% who are not approaching training of any kind from that concious mindframe, i still struggle sometimes.

    This almost led me to quit lifting or moving my body because it is 'unconcious' or 'unspiritual' or some caveman desire that needs trabscending but im realising its some inner judgement i have, some old beliefs and a spiritual ego developing. This is amplified when i see the selfies being taken in the squatrack! You may be discovering a different approach like me, trust it and know that everyone else is simply acting the way that feels true for them, you have simply moved beyond it and now you see. Just as you have noticed their approach, people may notice something different in your attitude. Perhaps a seed could be planted within them...


  9. I have been absorbing and taking notes on Leos content for 2 years now but overall i don't feel like much is working. I have noticed recently that the big picture of things is gelling in my mind and the different concepts support eachother which is good. However i seem to constantly lack focus
    . I watch a video on motivation and i think " this is fucking it, this the gold wisdom i needed" i get
    pumped to act, then ill stumble across another concept a few days later and im pulled into prioritising that one. This cycle repeats itself week after week, month after month. "I need to know more" " i can not work on this until this is done... that wont work unless i fix this...this is more important for me....oh no actually it this thing..." this is what it feels like...

    So what is it?

    I am going through the life purpose course, i have a sense for what it is for me. I have a pretty solid kriya yoga and meditation habbit in place. Do i lock in my life purpose and get the vision big and clear like leo drums on about?... or is it my lack of self discipline or optimism...or inability to focus... or my neurotic conditioning that needs unwiring first? Do i rid my limiting beliefs, change my ideas about life and succuss, release my fears and work on my perfectionism? is it habbits? or do i put it all on hold and get my body healthy and pure... oh but i cant do that without....

    Or is it my anxiety and confusion of the whole thing that needs dealing with? i dont know.

    You see my problem? Its a bloody nightmare. I am ready act, i am ready to focus but i cant seem to get out of this spiral. I cant seem to trust any one direction and go with it.

    Any input/advice/ideas/ questions and wake up slaps, would be really appreciated.

    Peace


  10. Funnily enough, my desire to stop dreaming shit up and  start taking action, led to my action involving dreaming shit up. I took to really getting beneath Leo's Vision, Sage and latest videos regarding the big picture and how to get started with Self-actualization. The first thing i noticed was the definite power of making a study of valuable material. Taking notes, re-watching the videos, mapping it out and even drawing flash cards and bouncing around my room like a lunatic so that shit "sinks" into my nervous system. This seems to have given me a deeper understanding of how this path will play out with more depth, on top of  the better knowledge of the material itself. 

    So "i have the path". I've kind of mapped out a Communist style 5 year plan and it's time to take some steps. It begins with the removing of my seeming potent YouTube wormhole addiction that can't help but suck me in. "Oh this is important... that thumbnail is definitely vital, this upcoming recommended video is 100% what i NEED to know right NOW!" I think i have a problem. Combine this with the fact that even some how landing myself in a relationship with an incredible girl can't eradicate the occasional trip down Pornography lane once and for all (who woulda thought!). I've realized things need conscious  intention, awareness and focus.

    On the upside though, i meditated for 3 hours today. I feel high as fuck. With longer sessions, once you break the wall and do them consistently they start to become as bearable as shorter ones. However when i resort back from 1 hour to say 40 minutes, it doesn't take long for those quick paced 40 minutes sessions to start feeling like eternity again. It definitely encourages me to make a commitment to habitually longer sessions in my day, as i find my focus, happiness and productivity are all greatly increased. It definitely creates more time than it takes. It's just a case of grinding over that wall/plateau like so many other things i guess. i will be careful to make the increase a bit more gradual though. 

    Installing that habit is one of the things on my nice colorless mind map that i did some reverse engineering with. This is my attempt to lock in the things i want to get accomplished in order to move me towards the vision/ this specific plan. I wont bore you with more details of that just yet though.

    I have taken a lot from Leo's Life purpose course, however i have decided against articulating my life purpose in one sentence  and choosing a specific field of Mastery ( for now). I am moving in a direction that feels like it is infused with a new sense of purpose and clarity. However i feel the path itself will better reveal my true purpose to me over the coming years as i move in the direction my heart is pulling me, i conduct some experiments and gain some life experiences to gain a greater understanding of my strengths, authentic self and desires.

    This did mean that i dipped in and out of that course, didn't follow it completely linearly, and there are still bits i need to fully cover. Saying that, for me its probably a good thing, i am beginning to trust myself a bit, take my own initiative, think a bit more and not follow the words of Leo and others so blindly, which is a very easy thing to do.

    In the words of Oasis, sometimes you need to "Just take what you need, and be on your way". 

    Till next time 

    Peeeeace. 


  11. I left home (England) after graduating 6 months ago and have now found myself in China, teaching. I am 22 and I have been watching Leo's videos for about a year and a half but I think I have reached a point where I am in need of some serious application. I am on track to finish Leo's Life Purpose course soon but in short I have aspirations of being a yoga and meditation teacher in the distant future. I have realized that I need to install a lot of the basics of Self-Actualization such as Positive thinking, visualization, mindfulness practice, cleaning up my diet, and a study habit in order to pursue the more advanced material in a more serious manner. I wanted to create this, mainly just to help me to stop dreaming shit up and start working towards creating the life I want. I want to inspire and help others find the beauty in this thing called life and hopefully this is where it begins.

    At present I have no plan for a specific format for this journal, but I see it having ( or soon to have) a few components: - a general track and update on my daily habits, current projects and goals for Self-Actualization in various areas of my life

    - Musing and thoughts on Leo's content and my own application of theory and concepts

    - An ever evolving journey into my Kundallini Kriya yoga practice and pursuit of yoga/meditation mastery

    - Thoughts and insights on Consciousness, Awareness and Enlightenment.

    - General musings about life, this path, my evolution, what I get up to and how bloody silly the whole show is.

     

    Currently working on:

    - Installing reading, exercise/yoga, healthy eating, early rising, visualization habits.

    - Pursuit of: - Emotional Mastery, Consciousness, enlightenment, Mastery of yoga, meditation. - Happiness - Empowering relationships - Life Purpose

    Learning Mandarin. Health and fitness, Reading a shit tone of books.

    Overall: A pursuit of Self-Mastery and having a bit of fun and a giggle along the way.

     

    I will refine the format of this journal as I go.

     

    I hope you find some value here and I welcome you into my journey. May we evolve together.

    One love, my Self-Actualization brethren's and sistrens!

    Peace.

       Spencer.


  12. Anybody have any experience with maintaining their spiritual practices while on the road? I am soon to be beginning a travel journey to Asia which is more than likely going to be the start of a good few years of travel experiences. The experience itself is likely to enlighten me but any tips or experience with maintaining meditation/yoga habits and keeping that connection burning whilst on the move!? I am sure I will adapt and find space for it, as its so central to my life but any advice would be great!

    @DreamSpirit