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Posts posted by Spence94

  1. @Jannes

    Firstly, be kind to yourself. In my 6 years teaching, I found students aged 12-14 to be the most challenging without a doubt. It’s tough. You’re doing good. 

    Secondly, it always starts with your Self. Observe how students trigger you, how they respond to you, how they react to you, how you react to them. The more grounded in your own energy you are, the less students will pull you of course or even attempt to do so. Silence  and presence speaks in the classroom. Teenagers have little egos but they are human beings and they intuit and feel strong awarenesss in the classroom from their teacher. 

    Thirdly, PRACTICE the art of regaining the attention of the classroom. Planning and delivery of interesting and interactive lessons is a skill that’s never complete. Also, those moments where you really do have to “layeth the smack a down” and command control and demand silence of a class that is quickly getting out of hand is like stand up comedy, you’ll bomb sometimes before you get the timing right and more on point. Even veteran teachers slip up from time to time. 

    Young people don’t tend to hold a grudge towards teachers so much. You can switch from  strict to friendly pretty quickly if you’re congruent. You can tell a student off one lesson and then the next class they are all ears and happy to see you. 

    The biggest difference is your own energy, health, commitment and internal state. Meditation, exercise, visualization of classes going well and students being engaged and enthusiastic. You have to care as a teacher. Even 8 year olds can tell the difference between a teacher with passion and a teacher ‘at work’. But if you’re here asking this, you care.

    Before I started, a veteran 35 year teacher told me;

    ” You might do everything in your heart and soul to make it work and it still won’t go down right. That is just how life goes sometimes. “

    When it gets really tough and rough with certain classes and students, remind your self that, often it’s them and it’s not you. Focus on what you can control and don’t forget about all the hard working, respectful, attentive and polite students you have and have had before. 

    Good luck and enjoy.

    Teaching is a beautiful, deeply fulfilling and profound art form.

    From a fellow teacher in the trenches! 

  2. I need to spend more time listening. I've been watching spider man anime recently. It is a lot better than the movies. The thing the language learning world gets wrong is they make vocabulary and grammar study the most important action and treat watching tv shows and movies and practicing active listening as somehow 'lazy' or 'just relaxing' and 'not for serious students.' In truth, active listening Is the most important language learning practice. Of course, if it was common knowledge that you could pretty much listen ( and read) your way to fluency then that would put a lot of language teachers and schools out of business...

    Language learning is a subconscious process, the study of words and grammar is a supplement to active listening and reading compelling content, and not the other way around. Its pretty effortless really so long as you're building your passive vocabulary. Passive vocabulary is the key. It's amazing how the brain can decipher the language over time, in just a few days of listening you already see improvements in comprehension.

    Best part about it, it makes the language fun, even if you can't comprehend most of it. Makes the process very satisfying as you 'Level up' your understanding bit by bit. 

    Output can only reach the level of your comprehension.

  3. 2 hours ago, patricknotstar said:

    Tbh I've never cared how much money a girl makes , how deep our conversations are , how intelligent she is, her career, extrovertedness, social circle. Really my only criteria is beauty and being nice.


    Man and womans reproductive survival strategies are not the same. This is what you need to understand. You only care about beauty and being nice because those qualities for 1000s of years meant the difference between your male ancestors offspring surviving or not surviving.

    Man and woman are fundamentally attracted to different things. There is some overlap but at a core level their survival strategies are different, this is hardwired into man and woman through 1000s of years of sexual reproduction.

    2 hours ago, patricknotstar said:

    Tbh I've never cared how much money a girl makes , how deep our conversations are , how intelligent she is, her career, extrovertedness, social circle. 


    Your not a woman. Woman care about these things because for 1000s of years if they could not find a man who demonstrated these qualities, it could mean the difference between her offspring surviving and having her Gene's past onto the next generation or not. 

    Man and woman have for 1000s of years played out very different roles in the world which has led to very hardwired core sexual reproductive strategies being very different. 

    No matter how sophisticated, modern, free thinking, independent, liberal and progressive we think the world we live in today is, attraction is still attraction.

    What attracted women 10,000 years ago is still pretty much the qualities that attracts them today.

    'Fame' /status gives men a lot of social proof to women that they possess qualities that they are deeply attracted too.  It doesn't have quite the same effect for men though as we are wired differently.

  4. On 30/03/2022 at 11:29 AM, SriSriJustinBieber said:

    Nice try, but this comes later, because right now how can you know you are not using these values as an identity? And how can you know what true love is for example? So you must accept to detach from these values at least temporarily, and you must accept that you maybe don't really know yet.

    Let awareness be the criteria: if it seems your awareness needs to be lowered for you to do a certain thing, then that's not authentic. If, while fully aware, you still want to, let's say, be angry at someone, then that is authentic. Slowly this will transmute into love and all these higher values the hidden stuff you may have and which need sleepiness from you to act out, because if you are angry while fully aware, it needs to be acted only a few times for you to extract the learning from it, whereas if you are sleepy then the learning is obviously much slower and therefore it can stick to you as a tendency or identity or habit. Obviously don't kill someone or do something along those lines while trying this.

    As part of the process to actualize ourselves and become more of our authentic nature we shed layers of ourselves that cause us to act out from our lower nature. This is a long term process and there is no end point where now I have made it and now I am authentic. We can experience glimpses of awareness (authenticity) and then we fall back into unconciousness an inauthenticity. We keep returning to authenticity (Awareness) and working on ourselves to deepen this connection so more and more of our actions come from awareness and authenticity. Whatever actions come from that place are authentic actions. Those actions might change over time as we become wiser of course.

    Authenticity/ Awarenss/ Truth/ Self... all similiar.

  5. @Razard86 I'll check out the video.

    Actually I lived and saw the world through the polyamorous perspective for a few years and the end result was I concluded that monogamy was what I prefer. Before all of that I was convinced marriage was some form of archaic slavery. I no longer believe that anymore.

    'Sex at Dawn' is an eye opener. Not sure if it's all accurate but an eye opening book. Duncan Trussel made the point that at the very least the book meant people don't have to feel guilt and shame for being attracted to other people outside of their relationship. Doesn't mean they have to cheat or be polyamorous, but they can accept the attraction to others as natural and normal. 

  6. The source of conflict within the individual is  a result of dissowned and disintegrated parts of himself. This normally happened because an immature boy misinterpreted events that happened to him. As a result, trauma was created, as  a defence mechanism, to help the boy survive. As a man, this trauma, this defence mechanism does not serve him or his world. The process is to strip back the layers and return to realness and authenticity. The specific event of the past doesn't really matter in the process, what matters is seeing the truth and seeing the past for what it really was, seeing why the trauma was created, what it was protecting, how it was false or how it no longer serves the man.Then returning to seeing the present for what it really is, as pure, authentic, divine being and presence.

  7. @puporing Yeah I see what you're saying. While I was writing I just starting thinking about this attitude I keep seeing amongst the younger generations right now around marriage, monogamy and sexual and personal freedoms that seems like they're 'throwing the baby out with the bathwater,' and not seeing the wider perspective. So excuse me, I wasn't ranting directly at you.

    I agree though, a world where all the possibilities are given and accepted amongst the collective narrative would be the ideal situation. The process to actually create that in the world would be extremely difficult and won't happen anytime soon. Especially as we still live in a world with borders and nationalities  that are at different stages of collective development  and that divide and create separate unique narratives around relationships and sex.


  8. @puporing Or maybe people could learn to understand that their attraction for others is natural even if they are in a monogamous relationship. Just because there is a desire and attraction whilst in a relationship doesn't mean we should live in a world where everyone is free to just follow that impulse for 'fun'. Men can be pretty committed when in a relationship, just like women can. 

    I agree women are more shamed for having fun and sleeping around, but you make it sound like men are freely allowed to sleep around with other people outside of their relationship  when women aren't... and even if men are less shamed for that act, it doesn't mean it would be healthy for both men and women to be able to freely act on their desire for 'fun' outside of a monogamous relationship.

    I don't think this utopian idea of free love and sex would actually work for most people and society.

    Open relationships have a place, and if the two people decide on it then fine, that's okay, but they're not for everyone and neither should they be.

    Monogamy still has value in an evolved and concious society, and would actually be the better option for a lot of people, IMO. 

    This 'monogamy and marriage is outdated and doesn't work' idea that is becoming more popular nowadays is a very black and white way to look at it.

    High divorce rates are not happening because we need to be allowed to sleep around outside of relationships, high divorce rates are happening because people are not psychologically mature and don't understand or embody healthy attraction and communication in relationships. Which is a problem for both men and women.

    Anyway, rant over.


  9. On 30/03/2022 at 1:26 AM, mo_v said:

     If 'I' was god 'I' would just manifest everything 'I' want.

    you are not god. YOU are god. 

    YOU does whatever the fuck it wants. YOU doesn't care about what you want...even though YOU might still manifest it.

    By the the time you realise YOU, you won't exist anymore to doubt wether YOU (God) exists.

  10. Shame and fear often stems from our past. Without investigating the sources of this shame and fear, shameful and fearful situations will continue to manifest in the present. 

    Interestingly and quite beautifully, when deep shame and fear is healed, as well as the many other emotions we harbor deep down, then the way that shame and fear manifests in the world begins to dissolve. The world is a reflection of your inner nature. 

    Where there is opportunity can look like scarcity. 

    Where there is scarcity, can begin to look like opportunity.

    Focus inward, on your Self. Heal... your Self. 

    You could move city again, perhaps it is needed at this time, and will give you fresh space, but it is not totally necessary, for it is the mark of a strong inner world to be able to remain in one place despite the changing impermanence and chaos of the external conditions. Either way is fine, but either way, you must look within your Self. You must heal your Self. Only then, will you transform your Self, and your world.