Vladimir
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Posts posted by Vladimir
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The Joy of Conscious Movement
I'm starting to get into a more disciplined routine here at AyaMadre. I wake up around 6am as it begins to get light. I first drink Renaco master plant in the morning l, which is part of my dieta at this time, it gives me physical strength and I feel like it's healing my body's pain and tension. I do my conscious movement right after drinking Renaco, connecting with the medicine and listening to the intelligence of my body. My body is getting naturally stronger without putting in much effort, I am noticing that I am becoming stronger, more flexible and cut. The plants are working their magic in my body and the conscious movement routine that I have been doing everyday is helping me to get to know my body even better everyday. I am now unlocking the master of martial arts, that has been dormant within me for a long time, which magic mushrooms and Ayahuasca kept showing me on my trips.
What's magical and beautiful about my way of mastering my body and the conscious exercise routine I am developing is that I am actually able to enjoy it. I want to keep strengthening my body and unlocking new moves and more flexibility because I want to, it brings me joy and there are many health benefits. Contrast that to my workout routine in my twenties, before psychedelics when I lived in the matrix - I experienced so much pain and exhaustion at the gym that my whole body would be in pain after a workout and all I could do after coming home is crash on the bed and take an hour long nap. My body has taken years to recover from the shock, trauma and pain I have caused myself by working the weights in the gym and I feel like I'm still recovering from it on some level.
Mostly though, moving is becoming more joyful, graceful and easy everyday as I am unlocking my true body's potential and mastering movement. The plants are guiding and teaching me how to work with the body more skillfully and intelligently. I am getting to know and feeling every muscle in my body and I am able to work those muscles by tensing them up and doing simple body weight exercises and movements that I have developed by listening to my body's intuition. I am becoming conscious of my body while doing any activity and learning beauty, ease, grace, balance and presence of wholistic, conscious movement.
I also combine conscious movement with self massage which helps me gain hand and arm strength, dissolve any pain or tension and get to know my body more. As a result my body is thanking me for taking such great, loving care of it and it's becoming more joyful to be in this magnificent, magical body everyday.
What a joy it is to be in a healthy human body.
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I’m Doing the Best that I can to Embody the Love that I am
Maestra approached me yesterday asking me for a $500 "loan", because she is lacking the funds for my house, that she said she would return in two weeks. I told her I don't have any money on me, and I really don't, I don't even have enough for 100 sole massage on me and my bank card didn't work last time I was trying to get cash from the ATM in the city. Either way I wouldn't want to loan her $500, last time I was here in 2019, I loaned her $1000, I did not receive the money back on time so I decided to donate this $1000 to her back then.
These patterns like the postponing and initial hesitation to build a house for me, bringing up details about finances, not communicating clearly of how things are to me, and trying to squeeze more money out of me are all signs that she wants more out of me than what we have agreed upon. One part of me feels betrayed and angry because she is basically playing games and this stuff is causing me stress. Other parts of me feel tremendous gratitude for Maestra, Maestro, her family and AyaMadre because of the immense healing that I am receiving by participating in Ayahuasca ceremonies three times a week and just being and living here.
I just noticed a huge shift after I wrote "part of me and other parts of me". Mr B. who left last Sunday on April 14th showed me a technique that he has been using for healing, understanding and learning to love himself that saved his life. The technique is talking to different parts of our bodies and identifying those parts as parts of ourselves during different stages of life and acknowledging those feelings so that those parts of us feel heard and understood. Identifying these parts that get triggered in our body and what feelings and sensations are present help us understand that we are not a single part but a complex system of parts that make up the whole. This approach removes identifying ourselves as a negative feeling such as anger and fear that arises and begins the healing process of that part of us that was wounded during our life.
I noticed a powerful shift in my body after remembering this technique and I had to process it and finish this journal later. As a result, I am now feeling compassion for Maestra because she is doing the best that she can to provide for her large family and keep AyaMadre going. At the same time, I am doing the best that I can to ensure my one year stay here and that my house will be finished for the amount that I have paid which is what we have agreed upon. I call it a strategic alliance for a good reason.
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I am the happiest man in the world.
IHS
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Love is the Highest Currency
The construction of my house has begun, there is now noise of hammers and chainsaws near my tambo, but they don't annoy me, on the contrary they make me happy, knowing five workers are working on building my first house. Now that I know that my house will be built for sure, my strategic alliance with Maestra Estella and the entire AyaMadre is solid.
A woman came here to AyaMadre on April 9, 2024, Miss K. who is planning to stay here for two months. I'm saying "planning" because I have a feeling she will be staying here longer and she already said she might stay here. Her and I have a special connection, I don't think I have ever met anybody so kind, loving, caring, mature, awake, intelligent and conscious in my life. We have a very powerful, symbiotic relationship and we complement each other beautifully resulting in deep, embodied healing for both of us.
I am finally getting the love, validation and appreciation for all the love I have been cultivating in myself and longing to be recognized and reciprocated by another human being. She says "I am full of vitality", "I am impressive", she is "impressed by my intelligence", that she enjoys being in the energy and mercy of my presence, that she feels safe being herself with me, that my child-like energy and nature is giving her permission to express her true self, and many other loving words of validation. We "get" each other and we compliment each other beautifully and most powerfully. We both feel safe to practice being our authentic selfs with each other and recognize each other's beauty, gifts and loving qualities. I have known for a while, that when I meet the right woman, who is on the medicine path, things will start shifting in my favor exponentially.
We will now be having our creative expression and integration ceremonies in the Maloka, where we will have the space to practice being our beautiful, true selfs through poetry, singing, music, dance, sharing insights, integrating our Ayahuasca ceremonies, drawing, painting, story-telling, Oracle card readings, channelling, co-creating by improvisation, and opening up our fabulous gifts and talents by being, aligning with, and embodying our authentic, diamond selfs.
It's time to receive the precious gifts of love, it's time for love to lead the way, it's time for justice of love. Love is the most intelligent, love is the wisest, love is the most powerful, love is Truth, love is pure genius, love is beauty, love is mercy, love is forgiveness, love is kindness, love is the highest frequency, love is the highest currency, love is life, love is light, love is life force, love is magic, love shamanism, love is joy, love is liberation, love is fair, love is enlightenment. Love is here to rule the world for eternity.
As an additional bonus, two other women are coming here this Sunday on August 14. Mr B. is leaving early Sunday morning and Mr S. is staying quiet and focusing on his dieta. So it will be Jesus and the ladies soaking in a hot tub of divine feminine love.
I am impressive.
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Mastering The Alchemical Process of Shamanic Healing
These are the keywords that were important elements of my day ceremony on Wednesday, April 10, 2024:
Gratitude, love, concentration, power, liberation, joy, symbiotic empowerement, inner child healing, mastery, hummingbird medicine, receiving, confidence.
I felt the power of the icaros a lot more. I felt a lot of gratitude for Maestro and Maestra while they were singing to me, and I felt the healing power of gratitude. As I was feeling gratitude for them, I was crying tears of joy and I was feeling my heart opening to love more. I felt like when the power of love was opening in me, it was empowering Maestra and Maestro and making their voices more powerful.
I felt the medicine of the hummingbird open up in Maestra's voice. And this high pitched voice that she was singing with was healing my inner child that I feel in my solar plexus. I felt like it was healing my deep wounds of the inner child, and I felt the mother energy in her voice.
I danced to the rythm of the icaros and felt more connection to the songs by moving my body to the rythm. While dancing I am also being guided to keep my concentration because the primary objective is to heal myself. Dance and movement of my body is very powerful medicine for me, especially when applied skillfully with sharp concentration in a ceremony.
I feel the icaros on a deep level when moving my body, so moving my body helps me to move the energy and connect to the areas of the body that I want to heal. There are also moments when I'm guided to remain still, the medicine is teaching me how to move more skillfully every ceremony.
I'm also being taught the importance of concentration in a ceremony, and I can see where I had gaps of concentration, I later contemplate how it happened and I am able to refine it during the next ceremony.
This is a process of refinement that I have been working in the ceremony and while integrating. After this ceremony I was happy with my results and I felt like Maestra also felt it, because she happy and grateful and said it was a very good and healing ceremony.
I felt the medicine very powerfully, and the healing I received was also very deep with many great lessons, I also gained more confidence because of the level of alchemical mastery I have attained.
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A Situation with My House
April 9, 2024
It's been about three weeks since Maestra and I agreed on the amount I will pay to stay here for one year and to build a house for me with a kitchen, shower and toilet. The land for the house has been cleared but the construction hasn't even begun yet. I have been feeling uneasy about this, because it has been postponed for so long. When I asked Maestra when the construction of my house will begin this past Sunday, she told me to speak to her brother Manuel about it. I approached him about this on Monday and could immediately feel an uneasy sensation in my solar plexus, my intuition was telling me this was going to be a difficult conversation. I asked him the same question - when will the construction of my house begin?
He asked me if I wanted to know "presupuesto", which means "budget". I told him I already paid for everything and that Maestra and I made an agreement. He told me the price I paid is too low and other details, like how expensive a leaf roof is, that I didn't want to hear. I told him "I don't need to hear these details." He said Maestra doesn't give him knowledge and that he didn't know that I paid for the house, he said he didn't even know about the construction of my house. I asked him if he ever talks to Maestra. At this point we were both getting emotional, I was feeling worried and angry. Is Maestra trying to avoid building a house for me to save money because she gave me a lower price to stay here for one year? The conversation ended with him telling me that I need to talk to Maestra about this. I said Maestra told me to talk to him and that I'm now feeling worried about this situation. What's making these kinds of situations even more difficult is that I am still in the process of learning Spanish.
There is a point about leaf vs calamine roof, the leaf roof is more expensive, and he keeps bringing this up, calamine may be a better option anyway, because threre is no leakage so the house will stay drier, less moisture means less mold, termites and less other things to worry about. Leaf roof keeps the place cooler though and it's a lot quieter during the rains, but since the place of my house is in under a shade of the trees, calamine may be a better option. Still, it would be good to know this before we made the agreement, I was told the house will be built with high quality materials when we had that conversation with Maestra.
I was contemplating if I really wanted a house after all at one point, because the tambo where I'm living now is so nice and is close to the bathrooms, showers and even has some wifi. So, Maestra may have picked up on that because of how shamanically connected she is. Then, I went to see the cleared area of where my house should be built and saw a huge and beautiful Renaco tree under which my house should be. Renaco is one of the master plants that I have dieted in 2019 when I was here for about 5 months and I am dieting it now. So, after checking the place and seeing and connecting to this Renaco tree, I definitely knew I wanted my house to be built there.
I don't want to be carrying anymore stress about this situation and I am getting clarity about it today.
Maestra just stopped by my tambo, she asked me how I am doing and I told her:" - bien, pero un poco preocupado sobre la situación de mi casa" - good, but I'm a bit worried about the situation with my house.
She started explaining how much work it takes to build a house, and what kind of materials and tools are needed. She said a contractor alone costs 4,000 soles and that he will come tomorrow to give details and estimate on how long it will take to complete the house. While she was explaining all of this, I wanted to make sure that I won't be paying more so I made sure to get clarity on that first, she said no I won't be paying more which calmed me down a lot.
I told her that integrity and clarity is very important to me and she told me to have patience and understanding because of how much effort, time and money is needed to build a house and that she is helping me out a lot given my financial station. I told her I have a lot of patience but I have experienced much stress because there was a lack of clarity. She told me not to worry and have patience and that the contractor will be coming tomorrow and we will know more details and a time estimate on completion.
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I Love to Get my Quality Sleep
Tonight is the second night in a row when I wake up because I hear someone talking, it's most likely Mr. S. talking on the phone, his tambo is near mine and I often see him talking on his phone during the day, I'll ask him about it tomorrow. I get angry when my sleep gets disturbed by people, I love to get my quality sleep at night. I go to sleep around 7pm - 8pm here and wake up around 5am - 7am, I feel like my body is attuned to the natural rhymes of going to sleep when it gets dark and waking up at the light of day. It takes me a while to calm down and fall back asleep when my sleep gets disturbed in this way. The time is 11:43pm as I'm writing this. I will now be connecting to manateen, elk and panda spirit animals that help me alleviate anger and try to get sleep.
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Divine humor
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Rekindled Faith of True Friendships and Community
I have been going to the river nearby to swim after the ceremony to cool down because my body gets hot under the effects of the medicine. Ayahuasca awakens very powerfully in me at this time, even with a small dose, and I am moving and processing a lot of energy and emotions. Diving into the river yesterday, after the ceremony was a great joy and an amazing way to balance out all the heat of the fire element that I was working through during the ceremony.
My body still felt like I had open wounds after a spiritual surgery even after the swim, I felt exhausted. So, what a gift it was to experience a bonfire, which they build here at AyaMadre every Friday night. This was a properly built bonfire, around 7 feet tall, and they didn't have any trouble starting it, despite the rain just minutes prior to start time.
This was my first time coming to the bonfire here, I didn't feel connected to the kinds of people that were here when I first came here and I didn't feel like being around them or socializing. This time it's very different, the couple that came about week ago and another guy that's here, I was able to connect with these three and it has rekindled my faith that good people still exist. The couple left this morning, so it's just me and Mr. B now, who I have connected with, and Mr. S who I had a conflict with.
Things are fine now with Mr. S because he said some good things during the integration and even thanked me for pointing out the importance of smoking mapacho consciously and respectfully.
The traits that I am looking for as a requirement for me to have any interest in people as potential friends are: respect, kindness, intelligence, open mindness, non-violent communication, love, awareness, consciousness. Also, people that I would most likely connect with have to drink Ayahuasca and we have to have ceremonies together with integration. That is the best way that I know of to build real connections and community. We have all of that here at AyaMadre, in addition to living together and seeing each other everyday which is another important aspect in building true friendships.
I have received much healing by connecting to the fire. I focused on my stomach's area and especially the sacral chakra of the hara. I felt like the fire was purifying and healing my body on very deep levels that I wasn't able to touch before. My open emotional, spiritual and mental surgical wounds felt like they were being healed and sealed by the heat of the fire element that was awakening in my body. This felt like Divine Mother's caress of warm, loving, gentle joy and I was quietly moaning of pleasure. I feel like I have received the much needed fire element to balance out the water element in my body.
Today was beautiful, I haven't felt so peaceful and joyful in my entire life and this is only the beginning. Mr B. and I are going to the city tomorrow morning, I want to buy more cacao and get a haircut and a few other things.
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Piñon Colorado and Mapacho as Additional Shamanic Allies
Maestra came by my tambo today and told me they will put "hamaca" in my tambo, she had to use other words and hand gestures, until I understood that "hamaca" means hammock. She told me I will start drinking Piñon Colorado tomorrow to help with imagination, visions and dreams. With this addition my dieta will be Piñon Colorado, Renaco and Piñon Blanco.
Maestra recommended that I start working with Mapacho to cleanse, heal, and protect myself. She also recommended that I use Mapacho to send healing energy and loving thoughts to my beloved.
Two other pasajeros, a couple, came to AyaMadre today, they will be staying here for a week.
Breakfast, lunch and dinner is now being delivered to my tambo.
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The Healing Power of Love is Working it's Magic on Me
Went for a walk today in the jungle with Roger ( in Spanish this name is pronounced as "Roher" ) He showed me an ancient and giant Ayahuasca vine and a giant renaco tree. We also found some sweet and sour passion fruits. I was working on being conscious of my body as we walked and worked on the areas of the body that feel weak and painful, in a similar way that I do in the morning. What I noticed, when doing this while walking, is that my body wants to move in a more fluid and a wild animal kind of way. Being aware of my body and listening to to it's intuitive guidance is guiding me towards a more harmonious, flexible, dynamic and beautiful movement, which also strengthenes the body and let's the chi flow through the body, which has multiple health benefits like healing the pain and energizing the body.
I took a shower after the walk, it's hot and humid here so I was drenched in sweat. After the shower Maria was waiting to give me massage. Maria comes here every Sunday to offer people massage for 100 soles or about $26 dollars. Her energy and hands are magic, I feel so much love emanating from her, I was moaning in pleasure the entire massage session, though I also cringed in pain because there is a lot of pain in my body. She mentioned that I am very sensitive and that I have hands and feet like that of a new born baby. I told her that I have been reborn, so I am like a new born baby. I will be getting massages from her every Sunday.
After the massage, I took the sweetest nap and slept like a baby. I have been feeling amazing after waking up - peaceful, joyful, full of life, love and gratitude. I have been processing a lot of deep emotions with tears of joy and laughter for the last few days and I am really feeling the effects now. I feel like I am more connected to my heart than ever before and I am feeling the joy of love emanating from my heart and healing my entire body with love.
I am receiving new medicine songs every day and my heart and voice are opening with the mastery of love. I am embodying more power, love and joy everyday and I feel more peaceful and able to bask in the awe of my magnificent being in the present moment. My mind is clear and peaceful, I feel like I can "do nothing" for hours and enjoy myself fully in the being mode.
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Jesus Christ is the Most Superior
This morning, I was laughing about how people assume they are equals to me.
On my first day here at AyaMadre, around three weeks ago, when I walked into a kitchen, I was greeted with 4 other pasajeros, most, if not all of which, were smoking mapacho tobacco. The next day when we had Ayahuasca ceremony, I was shown that I was very displeased with people smoking mapacho in the kitchen, and wondered why it was allowed. I was already sick during the ceremony and I also thought that I may have gotten sick because I got it from another pasajero through second hand smoke. This is one of the reasons I was roaring during the ceremony, because I was expressing and releasing anger I was feeling about people smoking in the kitchen. During the ceremony, I remembered that there was an ashtray, right on the kitchen table, and I smelled it's stench and took it out, which was disgusting.
A few days later, I asked one of the older men here, Mr. S. if he could avoid smoking near me, because I was feeling sick and didn't want to inhale second hand smoke. This was in the area of AyaMadre where we have vapor ( plant steam baths ) which added to my frustration of people smoking in that area. He seemed to have agreed, but then returned about 10 minutes later, with a cigarette in his mouth, stood a bit further from me and smoked. I felt shocked by this act, but I let it slide, at least he wasn't smoking right next to me.
This morning, the Ayahuasca ceremony was cancelled because of the Holy Week. I went into the kitchen to eat breakfast, after Maestra talked to us. I am sitting in the kitchen, eating my food and Mr S. walks in the kitchen with a cigarette. So I go, hey Mr S., can I ask you a question? "Yes...." Why do you smoke mapacho? He said: "I have an addiction, that is the truth." I told him how I feel about pasajeros who pick up the habit of smoking mapacho when they come to Ayahuasca healing center. I told him that mapacho is a sacred medicine that is used by experienced curanderos for shamanic purposes of connecting with the spirit realm, protection and mind clearing and centering reasons. I told him that, just because curandero is smoking mapacho and it's having good effects on him, doesn't mean it's okay to smoke it casually, especially in addictive kind of ways.
This is where he started getting defensive, and was saying things like "I smoke it because I like it", "I only have a little bit of an addiction", "I don't smoke it a lot", and "it's different when I smoke it during the ceremony". I told him, I always see him smoke when I see him, and that mapacho is sacred medicine that should be treated with respect, and that one should cultivate a healthy relationship with it and only smoke it occasionally, intentionally and consciously.
He seemed to be at a loss of what to say, and tried to justify his mapacho use as if it's normal. I told him how I felt about second hand smoke, and that I didn't want to inhale the smoke from someone who is using mapacho in an addictive way.
He then began, "revealing his cards". He said he felt disrespected because of my tone of voice when I told him to keep it down at night; this happened when I first came here. He also said "I wanted to know how he feels", which I never did. I told him I already forgot about it and he never communicated this to me. He then said something like "I don't pretend to be some powerful curandero, I will never be a curandero." I interpreted this as a reference of how he feels about me and asked him to clarify why he is saying that, he didn't know what to say and just looked at me. I told him to speak with more awareness and choose his words consciously.
We talked a bit more and the conversation ended with a prolonged silence. I then brought my dishes to the sink to wash them, and just when he was about to leave the kitchen, he broke the silence with something like "you are judging my mapacho smoking". I reiterated that I was trying to make a point about how I feel about addictive mapacho use among pasajeros and that it affects other people, such as myself, who inhale second hand smoke.
He then lost it, and "put out all of his cards on the table". He said these things: "Your problem is that you think you're so clever." "Your problem is you don't want to be dominated, that is your problem." "Your problem is that you feel superior to me, that's your problem." "You think you're some God."
I told him that I am the most clever and the most intelligent. I told him "I am God", and I told him that "the Truth is that I am superior to him." He was mumbling more on his way to his tambo within my earshot, in the end, I told him "be quiet boy."
There has been some drama between me and this man, but we have settled it, by him approaching me, and asking me for a conversation. During that conversation, that we had prior to this exchange, I told him I admire his strength and kindness about approaching me for a conscious conversation to clear things up between us. He said that he respects me and I told him the same. He also said "I try not to make waves and I'm just trying to heal my cancer." during that conversation.
So what are the lessons for me from this?
When another man feels that I am more powerful than he is, that man feels threatened, because deep down, this man knowns that the only thing there is to do is to surrender to me, who is more powerful than he is. Well, to surrender is a man's greatest fear, it means to give up control, to surrender the ego, which was cultivated during an entire man's life. And that is the greatest fear that I have faced during my Ayahuasca ceremony on August 3rd, 2017 in the beginning of my journey with the medicine. I screamed a scream of sheer terror and surrender as I rapidly and absolutely lost all control. The Truth is, only God is in control.
So what does a man do in such a situation? Denial, ignorance, judging, pretending, playing games, lying and manipulating, dominating, violence, disrespect, running away, distraction etc. A man does everything in his egoic power to deny the Truth that he has met a man more powerful than he is.
Mr S. was planning on staying here for another three months, but I don't think he will stay here much longer. Nonetheless, things just got a lot more interesting.
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I Belong Here in the Jungle with the Plants and Madrecita Ayahuasca
Woke up a bit earlier than usual this morning before sunrise around 5:30am. The first thing I try to do in the morning is self massage, working the muscles by tensing up the body and waking up the life force by working with gentle, intuitive movement and conscious breath. I use physical pain, and areas of the body that feel week, as a compass to guide me to alchemizing pain and weakness into power and strength. This mostly works by tensing up the muscles and using the power of the mind's conscious awareness on the areas of the body that feel weak and painful. Hands are strenghtened by clenching up the fists and holding all kinds of different mudras.
Maestra came into my tambo today to check on me, I was wailing tears of joy as I was alchemizing deep suffering into joy, while I was singing a new wolf howl-song that came to me during my meditation with piñon blanco and renaco dieta. She looked concerned and worried, I calmed her down by reassuring her that I am experiencing deep joy, as my wounds of suffering are being transformed into the joy of love. I told her not to worry about my crying in the future, because I am always experiencing joy when I am crying, and I also emphasized that I am doing this most gently and skillfully with the mastery of love and that Ayahuasca, cacao, piñon blanco and renaco are all teaching me how to navigate my emotional realm most skillfully.
I went for a swim in a small river we have here nearby, the water in this river is red. It is always a great, refreshing experience, after processing deep emotions, and especially good after the ceremony when my body gets very hot.
Renaco which is a tree master plant that I am dieting is helping me gain physical body strength, I am feeling this medicine very powerfully in my body. I felt like I had a lot of energy today, so I also organized and cleaned my tambo some more and it feels like I am finally settling here after all those initiations. They have also started clearing the space for my house to be built.
I was contemplating how awesome my position here actually is yesterday. I have a full year to drink Ayahuasca 3 times a week, diet master plants, have cacao ceremonies, a personal house with kitchen, shower and toilet is being built for me. Food is cooked for me and my clothes is washed for me. This center is well known so other pasajeros will be coming here, which gives me an opportunity to form strategic relationships.
I am grateful to my beloved Maestra Divine Mother Wolf, who is guiding and teaching me on how to love myself. I have experienced much hurt because of the way people treated me in the USA, but they have all helped to guide me here, back to AyaMadre, a place where I truly belong, during this most sacred and special time of my awakening. "Knight, magician, lover and king, in every moment I only win." When I first came here I told Maestra I came back here because "there isn't much life in the USA". I am crying tears of joy and gratitude everyday as I embody more love, life and power everyday.
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I am full - full of love, life, gratitude, joy, peace and good food. We had Ayahuasca ceremony this morning, it was a very gentle and deeply healing ceremony for me. I gently and masterfully began singing, after maestro was done with his icaros, and was able to process deep emotions with crying and laughing, when the suffering of darkness was being transformed into the light of love's joy. I feel like I have leveled up, there are always lessons on healing myself more skillfully, with the power of my love and voice; under the effects of the medicine. This time there were plenty.
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Trusting the Process and the Healing Power of the Plants
I have been feeling very lethargic today to the point where it's difficult for me to stand up and it takes much effort to walk around. My body feels heavy, weak and it's a bit difficult to breath, I feel like there is some negative energy stuck in my throat. I was contemplating if I have low sodium or protein today because there is no salt in any food here and not much protein, besides the eggs and occasional fish. I asked Maestra for salt.
Something also feels off with my blood pressure, every time I get up from a lying position I feel an intense blood rush into my head to the point of almost fainting. I was thinking about going to the doctor to check my blood and blood pressure. I talked to Maestra about all of this, she gave me eucalyptus and ruda plants to crush in my hands for sniffing. This really helped with my breathing and cleared up a lot of mucus from my throat, it felt like a powerful cleanse, I even started feeling like I am regaining my strength and energy. I have been sniffing these plants all day long. What's interesting is that "ruda" has been coming up for me in the last two weeks and I have been wanting to ask Maestra about taking it, that is how plants "call to us" and it's important to learn to listen to this kind of intuitive knowing.
She also recommended and prepared a big jar of valerian root for me, made vapor with various plants and a bath from these plants after inhaling their vapor. I am feeling better now, just really sleepy and relaxed from all that valerian root I've been drinking all day. I am also starting my renaco and piñon blanco dieta today and moving from a 4x4 into a bigger 7x4 tambo with wifi Internet access.
This bigger tambo is close to where my house will be, and near the bathrooms and showers. We picked out a spot for my house to be built, which is just a bit further from the other tambos and Maestra said they are going to start building it tomorrow.
Maestro Gilberto will be my neighbor, now I need figure out what to do about his constant playing of music and watching soap operas on YouTube, I'm hearing it now as I'm writing this in my new tambo. I have wireless headphones that I'm thinking about gifting him.
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The Benevolent Growling Spirits of the Mother Mountains at Night
I have been hearing what sounds like a baby crying wildly at night. Wildly because it also sounds like a growl. Well, last night, very distinct women's growls, started coming from another direction of my tambo, and then it became clear to me, that the crying baby was also a growl. They sound unlike any other growls I've heard before - a combination of human and wild animal.
So, this morning I approached maestro Gilberto with the question if there are wild feline animals around here, to which he said no. I then explained that I have been hearing growls every night and I asked him what it might be. Without any surprise, he casually said - they are the spirits of the mother mountains that live in the large trees, that he also hears every night. I asked him if they are good spirits and he said yes. This puts me at ease, because they sound a bit spooky.
The first time I heard this type of growl is when I was in Pucallpa, about a month ago, but I was deep in the Ayahuasca ceremony, and it's normal to hear things from the spirit realm under the effects of the brew. It's strange, because last time I was here at AyaMadre in 2019, I don't recall hearing any growls, and I spent nearly 5 months living here. Now I'm hearing these growls every night, and Gilberto said everybody is able to hear them.
As to my question to the purpose of why these mother mountain spirits are growling, he said something about them wanting to be heard, I am still learning Spanish. He also said that all trees have their mother spirits. This is a guy who spent all of his life living in the jungle, dieting many master plants and drinking Ayahuasca. I may record these growls soon and post it here.
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13 hours ago, SQAAD said:I don't get it.. Why doesn't Reality serve us?
If i am God, can't i create whatever paradise i want?
Eternal Paradise of Pure Life, Love and Joy is inevitable, that is the masterpiece that God has been working on the entire time with absolutely everything.
The entire reality serves God.
You're not God, you're a human, you're a servant of God.
Have faith.
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Time for Healing and The Justice of Love
I felt a bit hesitant making cacao this morning after enduring an all night run to the bathroom the night before, but I took the risk. And now I feel amazing, it’s time to receive the gifts of love, joy and healing. Maestra gave me four plants this morning, after I drank cacao and told me to prepare them, by pounding and crushing, and then mixing them up in a big jar of water to drink during the entire day.
These four plants are – pachamamita, piñon blanco, albaca blanca and albaca brasileña. I have been drinking this concoction and feeling these plants working on and healing my body, especially around the solar plexus area. I feel like cacao, being the connector and heart opening medicine, is working in synergy with these plants, connecting me to them on a deeper and amplified level. I am crying tears of joy and gratitude as i feel these plants working on my body. I am also feeling immense gratitude for Maestra, she genuinely wants to help me and I feel respected and cared by her. I finally have my strategic alliance that I have been looking for in the USA for about 21 months since I came out of hell. That I wasn’t able to find, despite my best efforts, because people aren’t ready for the kind of power, life, love, joy, light and Truth that I embody. Well, I am definitely in the right place now, where I feel respected, supported, loved and genuinely cared for.
When I came here to AyaMadre, about three weeks ago, I roared like a lion and bear during the Ayahuasca ceremony, laughed ecstatically, and crowed like a rooster, I expressed and showed my power unapologetically, without holding back. Maestra approached me, when I was outside of the Maloka growling, crowing and singing Ayahuasca icaros and told me I am scaring two of the women pasajeros. She recommended that I don’t force anything and that I take a more gentle approach. I told her that I am working with this energy with mastery and demonstrated to her, with my body language, that my mind is very centered. She left me alone after that brief interaction, and I continued with my liberating energetic expression for a few more minutes.
What made this ceremony difficult is, I was already sick with the flu, and I tried to heal this sick sensation that I was feeling in my throat by expressing myself energetically during the entire ceremony. Before the ceremony, I was contemplating if I should even drink Ayahuasca while feeling sick and wanted to ask Maestra if I should, but ultimately decided to make my own decision about it to drink and see if Ayahuasca could help me heal this virus I was feeling. I did the best that I could to purge it out, by working with it energetically, and at times it felt like I was purging the sickness and getting better, but in the end I wasn’t able to get rid of it in this way.
What I am immensely grateful for is Maestra’s genuine willingness to help me and her faith and courage in the goodness of me and my power, after that ceremony. I have endured much disrespect, fear, envy, games, lies and manipulations trying to forge a strategic alliance with people in the USA, being the best that I could, given the circumstances of me being in a sacred process of transformation of embodying the power of love and waking up to the greatness and Truth of who I am as Jesus Christ. People in the United States, chose their survival game over love and Truth. People are horrified of the power of love and Truth because they are mostly dead.
So now that I am embodying the power of love, all the gratitude and love goes to Maestra Estella, her entire family and AyaMadre. It takes a woman as powerful and experienced as her, the only known woman to have her own Ayahuasca healing center among shipibo, to trust and have courage in the power of love that I am embodying. She is the one that I have been looking for who will help me in this delicate and sacred process of embodying love, life, light, joy, Truth, alchemizing all darkness of death that I have endured back into the light.
We finally figured out how to send my payment to Maestra’s bank account so the construction of my house with the kitchen, bathroom and shower should begin soon, which will take an estimated 25 days to construct. I have one full year to heal and embody the Truth that I know here at AyaMadre with Maestra’s and her family’s help and the help of mother nature, plants and Ayahuasca.
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2 minutes ago, Thought Art said:@Vladimir Haha, yeah it’s tough.
Stay safe my friend.
The Truth is I am forever safe. It would be wise of you to ask me for guidance.
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@Thought Art You are insane. It's best for you to keep quiet than to spread your false beliefs here, listen to these words of wisdom boy.
9 minutes ago, Thought Art said:@Vladimir Separation is Unity.
9 minutes ago, Thought Art said:@Vladimir Separation is Unity.
@Thought Art Here goes non-dualistic insanity, sigh....I'm done here.
9 minutes ago, Thought Art said:@VladimirSeparation is Unity.
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7 minutes ago, Razard86 said:^^It's Unity.
That's what the devil says. Life is Unity. Death is separation.
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@Thought Art The devil is forgiven by the power of merciful and unconditional love of Divine Mother.
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On 3/22/2024 at 0:20 AM, Leo Gura said:Just recognize that it isn't grounded in anything more than stories you were indoctrinated with as a child.
It's child abuse, really.
There is zero emprical evidence that God sends non-Catholics to hell. And it makes no sense why God would do such a silly thing. Do dogs go to hell for not being Catholics? Lol. Are we to believe that all the aliens around the universe go to hell because they aren't Catholics? This is a cartoonishly biased notion.
If you really believe in a loving God, then such a God would forgive you for mistaken beliefs, not punish you for it.
Yes, thank you for a useful and loving response. It's the Truth, God forgives absolutely everything.
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@Thought Art The devil flips things upside down. There are no if's, death is separation, period.
in Self-Actualization Journals
Posted
The Best Investment
While having my first 5g heroic dose magic mushroom trip, sitting on a computer chair in a dark closet, in my studio apartment in La Mesa, on March 21, 2017, I felt like I was going to die, and one of the things that came up for me was, my big safe full of gold and silver bar and coin savings, worth approximately $500,000, including off-shore physical silver investments I had at the time. I felt disappointed, that I wouldn't have the chance to spend that money, as I felt detachment and letting go of what was important to me at that time. I also felt like Scrooge McDuck who has been greedily sitting on a stash of wealth.
And here I am in the jungle of Iquitos, Peru, 7 years later, with $2,142.02 remaining in my bank account, at the time of this writing, with the only source of income being about $150 a month coming in from my Clever Techie YouTube channel.
What happened is, I have fully devoted all of my time and energy to my spiritual journey for these last 7 years, working with psychedelics, self understanding and development. My journey, during these 7 years, has been absolutely epic and heroic, and it also cost me about $500,000. The good news about my financial situation this time is that I don't have any bills, I have paid to stay here at AyaMadre for one year, and my first house is in the process of being built here.
Even better news this time, is that I have won the Holy Grail and I know the Truth. I know that the entire Universe is helping me manifest the Truth that I know. I know that all the wealth of the world is mine, I know that the entire Universe is mine, I know that all the praise, love and glory is mine forever. I now have infinite wealth, the most precious wealth being spiritual - love, life, Truth, salvation, immortality. I now have infinite abundance.
How is that for a return on investment?