Consept

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Posts posted by Consept


  1. Ive had some thoughts about this, so I want to break down this topic -

    Everyone is born with particular genetic advantages and disadvantages, if we use a rating system, imagine on a game, you would have a score out of 10 for each category. In this case we'll focus on categories that are important for a man to attract and keep a mate, so lets say the following (I know I will miss out some)

    -Looks

    -Ambition 

    - Masculinity

    - Athleticism/Aesthetic Body 

    -Emotional Intelligence  

    -Intelligence 

    - Social ability 

    - Confidence 

    -Sense of Humour 

    -Style

    -work ethic/mindset

    Now we all have these attributes to different degrees, the genetic (although some of these can come through nurture) component is your potential level these can go up to. So for example you might have great genetics for intelligence, so naturally your a 6 without much effort, but if you work on it you could be a 9, however you may not work on it or may not get the necessary coaching you needed to get there and so you will stay at a 6. Whereas someone not as gifted as you, whos top level of potential is only a 7 from a starting point of 4, could overtake the genetically gifted 6, if they work really hard, essentially the old saying - 'hard work beats talent, when talent doesnt work hard'. 

    So this brings us to looks, because they are the first thing people see they are a big factor in terms of attraction, so they can definitely get your foot in the door. However, if you are low on a lot of the other factors, it will still be very hard for you to attract someone. Lets say you were good looking but really low on masculinity or confidence, you would still have trouble, if not initially, definitely in a long terms relationship. 

    Looks are also notable because there is only so much you can do with your looks, so the increase in score for that category is not that high. If you made sure that you had a good haircut, good skincare, teeth etc it still wouldnt boost your looks up that much, maybe a point at best. So the payoff is not great. However if you worked on say your body, you could go from skinny to a good, muscular size which would then boost that ranking up a few spots in terms of attraction. Same with confidence, if you worked on that it could make you a lot more attractive. 

    The problem is, people tend to focus on looks because that is the first thing people see but its actually not even the most attractive. Something like ambition which could lead to status would actually be more attractive if you get there. Also there is more emphasis on looks because of social media and dating apps where looks are everything, they have always been important but the current landscape has supercharged them. So if youre not ranked high for looks it is very detrimental for you to be on apps. You may get away with it if youre able to properly demonstrate your higher ranking criteria, so if you can get across how ambitious you are or your sense of humour. What guys miss is that they only show off their looks which puts them in direct competition with guys higher ranked in looks. 

    Regarding the ranking system as well, most people will get to a point where they are 'good enough' and stay there. Meaning if you get to say a 7 for athleticism, you will start seeing results for that, so your motivation to get to a 9 or 10 will most likely not be there. Usually if you are genetically strong in one area it takes away your motivation to get better in that area because you may see yourself as gifted. Whereas someone who is lower in athleticism will be more motivated to work harder. But there are very few that are both genetically gifted and incredibly hard working, these are real outliers who are at the top of their field, if you think football, someone like Ronaldo who was probably a 7 at football genetically got up to a 9 or 10 through hard work, most at a 7 would have a great career anyway and dont get to those levels Ronaldo set.

    So the best thing is to work out what your strength's and weaknesses are, you want to be at least average in all and then excel in as many as you have a genetic proclivity for. So for example i might double down on Athleticism and emotional intelligence, which then gives me a usp with potential partners that they wouldnt get elsewhere. But I also need to work hard to be more social and confident, because without those I wouldnt have a chance to show my strong points.

     


  2. 44 minutes ago, bambi said:

    The key is to narrow the pool of girls down and to focus on the ones who are compatible with what your USPs are, and not beating or dwelling on the cohort of girls you would want to be with anyway

    Sleeping with tons of girls just for sexual pleasure (sex as a drug) is toxic, and is self-destructive, out of all the girls I slept with 5-10 to 15 max I actually genuinely had good sex, good compatbility, enjoyed hanging out with them, was good in all the ways. And 1 girl like this is worth 10,000 cheap one night stands.

    I think the whole post had some great insights so thanks for sharing! I agree as well, i think as men we often judge ourselves on how many and how attractive the women we get are, not taking into account our own attraction to them as an individual. There will be certain women we're with where it just feels smooth and easy and these always lead to more satisfying relationships, short or long term. So i think as you say, its really about working out what you want and what suits you. 


  3. @rnd

    So you're equating Wikipedia to Putins control of Russia? 

    If youre claiming that what I posted is not true or that its framed in the best possible light because its on Wikipedia, then I would ask what media source would you say reports the facts independently in your opinion? The story I linked was what happened as reported everywhere apart from in Russia most likely.

    Next there are numerous articles on Wikipedia that do show the west in a negative light, how do you explain those? Here are some examples - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MKUltra?wprov=sfla1

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iraq_and_weapons_of_mass_destruction?wprov=sfla1

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vietnam_War?wprov=sfla1

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abu_Ghraib_torture_and_prisoner_abuse?wprov=sfla1

     


  4. 2 hours ago, PenguinPablo said:

    He's above average (7) in looks, charismatic, and intelligent but didn't turn out so well years down the line! 

    Not sure I'd peg him at a 7 but of course it's subjective, his height probably helps as well. 

    But I agree his charisma and intelligence in his situation, is the main factor, if he didn't have that and was just homeless he would not get any girls. 

    Unfortunate he had his addiction problems, there are obviously some deeper issues at play. 


  5. 11 minutes ago, bebotalk said:

    of course they work like that. people have different conceptions. thag's life. i believe your church/spirital grounding has clouded your mind.

    So what's your definition, you did t answer?

    This is the definition of definition btw - a statement of the exact meaning of a word, especially in a dictionary.

     


  6. 17 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

    I have a friend who is very spiritual, also fan of Leo. He has this thing he calls presence or awarness where if you lock eyes with him you basically "get lost in them", time freezes and you feel this weird sensation which I do not know how to properly describe in words. I had the same sensation but 100x stronger under magic truffles. I am a straight guy but even still that charms me. I can only imagine being a girl what it must be like.

    And he is normal looking guy. It is pure awareness and spiritual magic he does.

    I can replicate it to a smaller extent with certain people I have chemistry with (gay guys or girls) but it is not as in command or as strong as he has it.

    I think it is a trainable skill. Basically being present in the moment and using ur energy.

    Out of all the people that do daygame he has arguably the highest conversation ratio I have ever seen. It is rare for him to be blown out and usually a conversations ends with a number or at least a good 5-10 minute talk. 

    Oh you're talking about spiral eyes.

    But really it's just presence, it does definitely work


  7. 9 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

    Owen does not get many girls. He struggles to get them. Because of his looks.

    You have to understand that pickup coaches are very biased and untruthful people. They either straight out lie to their students or they themselves are deluded by years of pickup brainwashing.

    Also, if you notice, most of the successful pickup coaches are good looking extroverts. It's not merely their game that's doing the work. Similar to how successful bodybuilds are also coasting off great genetics and fooling you into thinking that it's all their hard work at the gym. No matter how much a regular guy hits the gym he will never be Arnold Schwarzeneggar. Because Arnold had peak genetics that enabled everything else. But fools think that it was all just hard work. You can't hard work you way into peak genetics. Which is why actors, musicians, athletes, and models get paid so much money. It's not just because they work hard. It's because they have peak genetics which 99% can't have. This makes them incredibly valuable.

    I dont know man, genetics obviously play their part but I think most guys are not maximising their potential, by definition most guys looks are average but also most guys dont actively put in work in terms of fitness, social and internal so logically you would be ahead of most guys if you put in some work. Even just being good looking, chances are girls are not gonna approach you so you still need to do work and you definitely need work to sustain a relationship. 

    To be the best you need genetics + hard work, but you can still do really well with average genetics + hard work, most likely youll do better than genetics - hard work. 

    Personal anecdote, for research purposes I got rated by a well known black pill youtuber, he put me at a 4, which although was a slight hit to my ego, doesnt really match with my reality and the girls that I attract both irl and on dating apps. Not saying its a non-stop line of women but its certainly better than they would lead a 'below average' man to believe he could attract. 


  8. 5 minutes ago, k-ahmadzadeh said:

    So tell me how can I keep my optimism in the face of these structural hardships happening in the world

    The fuck are you talking about? All of that is completely out of your control and furthermore do you not think the world was much harder for previous generations? Im not saying we dont have our issues but if you look at the average persons resources today they could rival a kings from a few hundred years ago. Also you most likely wont have to go to war and die so thats a big plus. 

    Point being there are always going to be external hardships, no world youre born into is going to be perfect for you and you shouldnt even want that as it wouldnt give you opportunity to grow. 

    Trust me, just from your negative attitude, if you didnt have that i guarantee you more women will find you attractive. Im not saying fake being positive, im saying sort out your internal issues and feel like you actually have real value to give to the world and people around you. 


  9. 8 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

    Let’s start by asking ourselves what the definition of understanding is. 

    We could go back forever on definitions but dictionary definition is 'ability to comprehend something'. So for example if we ask 'what is a dog?' you know that a dog is a mammal and have a general understanding of what that is, so if i say dog we can communicate as you understand what im referring to. 

    With ideas its slightly different because theres not a physical representation of what i mean and it relies on your understanding of the idea to have a conversation around that idea. So for example, if i understand the idea of hypocrisy to mean behaviour that contradicts what one believes or feels (dictionary definition) and you believe it to mean 'behaviour that contradicts what one believes or feels UNLESS I feel its justified', then its basically impossible to have a conversation around it as we are talking about two different things. 


  10. 1 hour ago, Anon212 said:

    The hard work is fixing how society, your parents, schools, religions all fucked you up. If you do that, the rest of it is easy. Yes it is easy, talking to women gets easy once you are totally secure within yourself. YES, EASY!

    DAVID TIAN is the best for this, he explains this amazingly.

    I agree with this a lot and I love David Tians work on this. A lot of people are fucked up, usually by parents, society etc they dont feel they are enough and so are trying their best to fulfil their idea of success. So, having a partner or being attractive seems, logically like something that would make you feel better about yourself and will solve all your problems. But the the reality is if you have these issues, you just take them into a relationship or pass them down to your kids or whatever, they dont go anywhere. 

    I was definitely better looking when i was younger, I got a lot of interest from women, but I had no sense of self, I was anxious, i didnt feel good or secure within myself. Now i actually feel like im more attractive, maybe not looks wise but just overall. Before I had potential but now its the real deal. 


  11. It isnt easy to poison people, there have been attempted poisonings 'allegedly' by Putin in the UK of Russian double agents  - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poisoning_of_Sergei_and_Yulia_Skripal#:~:text=The poisoning of Sergei and,England on 4 March 2018.

    These caused massive international incidents, even though they didnt die and Putin denied them. These are just regular agents as well, presumably with no security, so imagine trying to get to a head of state, how hard it would be in the first instance and then the global fallout especially if unsuccessful. It wouldnt even be worth it 


  12. 2 hours ago, bebotalk said:

    We just have different definitions of hypocrisy. 

    Definitions dont work like that, like a definition isnt an opinion, your understanding of it might be different but i guess thats what the conversation is for we're trying to come to an understanding. 

    What would you say your definition of hypocritical behaviour is?


  13. @k-ahmadzadeh

    This is where black pill or believing looks are everything messes you up. Judging by your profile picture, if that is you, you are decent looking, you're by no means ugly, like I would never look at you and think 'wow what an ugly looking dude'.

    I think when you base everything on looks it gives an excuse not to work on other stuff that will actually get you results. A big one that people don't mention is sorting yourself out mentally, going to therapy etc. As well as the physical, getting into shape. By believing the looks thing it confines you to this doomed mindset where you can't get out, but it's nonsense. 

    Now I'm not saying looks aren't a factor but the people that complain about it are over emphasising it and when you look into it, they are doing nothing to be more attractive. 

    Heres an analogy, there are football (soccer) players who are very talented naturally, from when they were 6 years old they everyone believed they would make it, then there are players who weren't as talented but worked ridiculously hard to make it. If the talented players don't work hard a lot of the times they get no where. Because everything is handed to them they don't develop the habits of a hard worker and its very common for the hard worker to do better than the talented player. 

    Of course you need a little bit of talent (looks) to work with but in many fields, success comes down to how much you work at it. 


  14. 1 hour ago, Yali said:

    @Leo Gura Would you agree with this, and if not, how would you modify it?

    I honestly agree with it even though I wish the reality of dating were otherwise.

    The myth that women are not significantly attracted to a guy's looks is just that, a MYTH.

    Screen Shot 2024-02-25 at 1.10.05 PM.png

    Online dating is obviously going to be looks based, but I think sometimes people just write it off as I'm not that good looking so it won't work for me. A lot of guys profiles are terrible, pictures make them look worse than they are and are mot exciting, no personality in the profile. Obviously this will be a big factor, if you are a 5 and your profile is a 10/10 you most likely could outperform a 7 with a shitty profile. 


  15. Looks are important but for a man there's plenty you can do to enhance that, wardrobe, grooming, gym etc. 

    What I would say is the number 1 factor is true confidence, meaning you know you're cool, you fully believe that anyone would enjoy being around you and that any girl could be attracted to you. There are many factors but I think if you had confidence at a 10 it would be more impactful than any other factor. 

    This guys homeless but super confident, can't tell if he's good looking or not though 

     


  16. 43 minutes ago, Razard86 said:

    I wasn't saying you were being judgmental I'm just saying we need to get rid of our judgment of the word hypocrite. Why? Because we are all hypocrites. If everyone in here studies and observes themselves HARD ENOUGH you will catch yourself do the very thing you get on other people about. For example lying. We all have told lies out of fear, yet we get on people who tell lies. Then we make distinctions on certain types of lies etc.

    It's this type of self-serving behavior that is at the heart of all that we call evil or wicked. This is why shadow work is so important. We must accept that all human evil in the world we are capable of doing. Unless someone does sufficient shadow work they will be unconsciously a hypocrite in some way.

    Yeah I definitely agree, I think thats whats really meant in the Bible about everyone being sinners and not perfect. It is really hard work to keep aware of all your own hypocrisy but a worthwhile thing to do.


  17. 19 minutes ago, Razard86 said:

    Accepting you are a hypocrite can teach you compassion for those who are unconsciously hypocrites.

    Yes I agree, im not even throwing judgement at those that are unconsciously hypocrites. I think hypocrite as a word is one of those words like racist, where its reduced to just an insult, those that say it are saying it as an insult and those that are receiving are taking it as an insult. I try to avoid saying someone is an out and out hypocrite or racist I prefer to say hypocritical behaviour or racist behaviour, with the exception of if they themselves label themselves as such. As you brought up Jesus he says love the sinner hate the sin which i think is a beautiful way of being or at least striving toward. 

    20 minutes ago, bebotalk said:

    Modifying a rule is normal. That's not hypocrisy. One can say theft is wrong but support it in the case of a starving person.

    I think you dont like the hypocrite label which is why youd prefer being labelled as inconsistent. Which is fine you can do that and i understand it makes you feel more justified to do as such but i think, esp on a forum like this where we're all trying to improve, it would be more beneficial to actively look at where you are being hypocritical rather than trying to justify it. You have to see that no one who is obviously a hypocrite will label themselves as a hypocrite, thats literally the whole point. Hitler would not say 'oh yeah im a hypocrite because i hated the way German people will treated and now im treating Jewish people even worse', he would say exactly what youre saying which is 'yeah persecution is wrong but these are justified reasons'. Religious people who condemn others for sinning but then sin themselves, would not call themselves hypocrites they justify their behaviour whilst condemning others. 

    But i understand its hard to take on this perspective because it makes you seem 'wrong' because of your dislike of 'hot women', as in you cant sustain that dislike and not be hypocritical, so your options are either realise you shouldnt dislike your chosen group of people or change your perception of your prejudice so that its not as bad as other prejudices and its justified. 

    47 minutes ago, zurew said:

    The word hypocrite is much more morally loaded than the word inconsistent.  In fact I would say, one main difference between the two is that the word hypocrite cannot be used without any moral load, but the word inconsistent can be.

    I would say to be a hypocrite, youd have to be preaching one thing and practising another. So like the preacher says how much he hates gay people but then gets caught in a hotel room with a male prostitute. So it implies a moral load just because essentially its someone being deceitful knowingly. Inconsistent is just something thats not consistent, that can be im inconsistent when it comes to the going to the gym, theres not necessarily anything moral, but if i was judging people for not going to the gym consistently whilst myself not doing it, then that would be hypocritical. 


  18. 38 minutes ago, bebotalk said:

    I've been taught that we're owed nothing and that nobody has to be nice, though people can be nice. We can't control others' reactions or behaviours. I myself am black, and most black people or others from marginalised groups would be on guard for any real bigotry. So it fits really, IMHO. It's foolish to expect people to always be welcoming in any space. 

    I don't know if you understand my point, I'm not saying everyone has to be nice and welcoming in any space to anyone, its not realistic. 

    Your question initially is what is hypocrisy. I'm looking at it from an internal point of view, in that, if you believe internally that when people judge you based on appearance, race etc is wrong, even if you accept it and don't complain about it, then by definition you also believe that when you do it to others it's wrong. The only difference is in the first I stance someone is doing it to you and the second you're doing it to someone else. So the fact that you excuse it when it's done by you to someone else but believe it's wrong (even if you accept it) would be hypocritical. 

    It's like black people who believe racism is wrong when it's against black people but are then racist toward other groups of people in the same way that they think is wrong. 

    Does this make sense? 


  19. 3 minutes ago, bebotalk said:

    You make a lot of fair points.

    Though I can fully accept that others can and would judge me on appearance. I may not like it, but I accept it as a reality. 

    Yeah I get that, we all do it of course. But at the same time I dont think you'd say it was a fair way of behaving. I don't know anything about you, but let's say you're Indian, if someone had the opinion that all Indians were rude, you would probably think at best that person is ignorant or at worst an evil person. 

    So back to the original point, although you can accept that someone may judge you, you don't like people doing so. In which case do you not like the act of judging based on looks itself or do you just not like when you are judged? Of course if you don't like when you are judged but are happy to judge others then that's hypocritical. If you say you don't like judging others as a whole but then judge others then yeah that's hypocritical. 

    It takes a real conscious effort to not be hypocritical btw and even then there will still be some blindspots but I believe its something we should strive for.


  20. Hypocritical behavior is basically when you have a principle that you believe should be followed but you dont follow it yourself. This includes inconsistency which is hallmark of hypocritical behavior. I think this is the case regardless of you being conscious of it or not, if your not conscious of it then you just aren't self-aware but it doesnt change the fact that youre being hypocritical. 

    Prejudice, as youve brought up, is a great example as we probably all fall into this at some point. So youre trying to square that you dont tolerate prejudice against any group but you do have a prejudice against 'hot women'. This is the case for most people, on the whole they dont like prejudice esp when directed at a group they identify with but then they may also have a prejudice against another group which they see as justified. Now this is hypocritical because if you dont think prejudice is acceptable then that means all prejudice period, you cant pick and choose. Its kinda like saying, 'murder is wrong, unless you really dont like the person and want to kill them', you obviously wouldnt kill someone you dont like, so the only way to test your integrity of belief is to put in a situation where you would in your case be prejudice. 

    The justification just allows you in your mind to keep your stance while still doing the action that you supposedly dont tolerate. It is hard to be consistent though and takes a lot of effort, basically the classic Jesus golden rule of 'do on to others as you would have done onto you' is a basic way to test your hypocritical blindspots. In your case if you would be happy for someone to judge you as nasty and be rude to you based on the way you look then I guess its fair enough for you to treat others like that, but obviously most people would not want to be treated in that way. 


  21. Got two of these -

    1. When I was 15 at was my cousins place, his family was about to move house so I was kinda helping with that. For some reason, mainly being 15 year old idiots, we thought it'd be an incredibly funny idea to let off a stink bomb in the attic of the house to surprise the new residents 🤦🏾

    So we successfully completed our mission and excitedly I ran across the attic spured on by my equally excited cousin. Little did I know there was a glass panel on the floor. I stepped bang on it and fell through to the next floor, what made it worse was it was old style glass so it didn't shatter so when I fell through shards of glass cut into my arm leg and face. I kinda blacked out but came to with my arm completely open, as in I could see muscle, fat etc. Ambulance came, toon out the glass, stitched me up and after about a year of physio I was back to normal, apart from losing sensation in my forearm and the obvious scars.

    But it occurred to me that the scars could have been anywhere, I was completely at the mercy of what happened and it happened so quick my brain couldn't piece it together in real time. If the glass cut an artery, which was pretty close or hit an organ I might not be around to tell the story. 

    2. Next one, was in Northern Ireland with my girlfriend at the time. We rented a car and decided to drive through the country, which was beautiful but some of the stop signs at crossroads were really confusing, like you'd be driving for miles just straight and then all if sudden you're at a junction. 

    So I was driving along normally, all of sudden I realised I was in the middle of the road, I instinctively put my foot on thr break which was actually even worse as now I'm just stopped in the middle of a road where cars are going at least 50 mph. I realise what I've done and just get the car across the road. We missed the oncoming traffic by at least 10 seconds, although in my head it felt like an action movie, but I was not in control of that situation, a few seconds here or there and that would've either killed us or injured us severly, it shook me up for a while. 

    My ex saw this face of a van driver on the other side who was waiting and he was freaking out when he realised we were just going full speed into the road. 

    But yeah those are 2 times when I had no control over whether I lived or died.