melodydanielluna

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Posts posted by melodydanielluna

  2. Posted · Edited by melodydanielluna

    Is university worth it, if not for a job, simply for becoming an expert in your chosen field?

    For example, would it be worth for an aspiring writer to study English or Creative Writing?  Or is it wiser to save your money because this information can tecncally be found online?

    I am curious about other people's perspectives.

    EDIT: I understand the answer may be differrent, depending on whether or not you are paying out of pocket, taking out a loan, living with your parents, going to school full-time, part-time, etc.

  3. Posted

    Anxiety is ruining my life.  So often, I am faced with intrusive thoughts (BPD and C-PTSD), and I am living in the future, playing out nightmare scenarios in my head.  99.9% of the things I worry about never happen.  I know this logically, and yet still I am plagued with fear. 

    I am on an SSRI, which seemed to help for while, but now is not as effective. 

    I have a daily meditation practice and I practise yoga, on average, thrice a week.  Those do help.

    I really feel if I could heal this part of myself, everything would be a lot easier.

    Any advice?

  5. Posted

    @Yarco Wow, thank you for the thoughtful reply!

    It's so interesting, what you said about indie pub vs. trad pub, how trad pubs don't know a good book.  My 'friend's' exact words were, "Until you get a book published by a traditional publishing company, you're not really an author."  I should also say that this 'friend' isn't really a friend, but an authority figure.

    I guess I'm afraid to have that much confidence and belief in my manuscript.  Like, what if I publish it and it's actually terrible?  Lol

    Thank you for all the resources, as well.

  7. Posted

    @Yarco  Thank you for the thoughtful response!

    Your perspective on indie vs. trad is so interesting.  I won't say who it is, but I have a traditionally published author in my life and they have really put down indie publishing and hyped up traditional publishing.  (Bare in mind they got published in the 90s!)  There was a time when I wanted to indie pub, and felt really passionate about, but this person kept discouraging me, and I am very insecure in my ability to market myself.  (Though I know it's a reality, regardless.)

    I am already dealing with agents trying to change things.  One agent was interested in my premise, but felt it was too long for a debut author.  As an artist, this is frustrating.  And I am torn between wanting to stick to my creative vision, but I also wanting to trust they know more about marketing than me.  (Especially with this close person in my life always telling me trad-pub is the way to go and indie-pub will 'ruin my chances'.)

    On the topic of marketing, I feel you are right, I am just confused about how to pick a niche.  If my end goal is to sell copies of my fiction books, then what should go on my blog?  Short stories?  Writing advice?  Reviews of similar books?  It also seems hard to make searchable content with fiction/without writing 'how-to advice'. 

    Is there a better way to market books, outside of having a blog?  Honestly, I am very open to what you have to say because I'm currently in the process of figuring out what works and don't have much attachment to my chosen methods. :)

  9. Posted

    I am a writer.  I have recently completed a high-fantasy manuscript that I am shopping around to literary agents.  I'm hoping to get a trad-pub book deal for my fiction.  While I wait to hear back from agents, I am working on my non-fiction and posting this to my website/blog. 

    I have already written and posted two essays, one on taking six months away from dating, and one on the importance of Mastery.  https://www.melodydanielluna.com/ 

    The goal of posting this blog is to build readership.  I am trying to do something unique from other fiction authors in this regard.  Most fiction authors I see make content about 'how to write' or 'how to market books', which I think is really overdone.  Instead, I am writing about - well, I'm not sure exactly what my non-fiction niche is yet.  Thus far, I have chosen topics that I feel strongly about due to personal experience/past mistakes/observation, etc.  These essays were also topics I had read/studied quite a bit.  (Which is why the essay on Mastery has so much in common with Leo's LP course!)

    My plan is to keep writing essays on topics I feel strongly about for my website/blog and some that will be exclusive to my Patreon.  When I have enough essays to warrant a book, I will either turn them/some of them into a book, or simply lump them into an anthology.

    Here are my questions...

    1. Do you think I need to pick a niche for my non-fiction?  And does it have to relate directly to my fiction? 

    2. How can I drive traffic to my blog?  SEO?  Social media?  I really want to AVOID what I speak about in my second essay: making content for tons of social media platforms.  I would rather pick one or two tactics that work. 

    I am going trad pub for my fiction because, generally, the quality of book (edit, formatting, cover) is so much better and I'm not, currently, rolling in cash.  Trad-pub is also great for getting your book into bookstores, which is very important for my genre fantasy/sci-fi. 

    But I don't want to fall into the trap of thinking a traditional publisher will do EVERYTHING for me.  I want to have a fun and interesting website/Patreon/online presence, and I want to build an email list.

    Any constructive feedback/tips are greatly appreciated :)

  13. Posted

    So, I've only recently transcended Green and gone into Yellow.  (Yes, I still have my shadows and I am working on them, but I'm mainly Yellow.)  The last time I was in a relationship I was Green.  How do you think dating/sex/love/relationships change at Stage Yellow?  And then at Turquoise?

    This is a really open-ended question but some things I wonder are:

    - Is it normal/healthy/reasonable that, if I do partner with someone, I want them to be at Yellow or Turquoise?

    - Where do Yellow/Turquoise folk meet one-another?

    - What sorts of dates do they go on?  How does dating work for them?

    - How does sex change and evolve at these higher stages?  (If it does at all)

    - How do relationships evolve and change and these higher stages?

    - And this last one is very specific:  Something I've noticed recently.  At my day job, the workplace culture is suited to people holding there cellphone in your face with a picture of a 'hot' guy loaded up, and she will ask me what I think of her recent Tinder match.  (No, I don't like my day job's culture, but I am working my ass off to get out of there.)  Anyway, I never know what to say.  I seem to not care about physical attraction like I used to.  I honestly can't know if he's hot, not without knowing his personality/spirit/etc.  I've always been a bit this way, but recently, more so.  It's as though I have no interest in a superficial relationship.  I'm wondering if other Yellow/Turquoise people can relate to this?

    But this is an open-ended question.  All responses are appreciated. :)

    Cheers!

  19. Posted

    @Vincent S Interesting!  I guess the underlying theme is that I am confused, know something is wrong but don’t know what to do.

    Interesting, because this morning I witnessed evidence to believe my neighbour is involved in some criminal activity, and I grappled with my decision about whether or not to report it all day.

    But eventually I reported it.  And that felt right.  So maybe these dreams are encouraging me to trust my instincts?

  21. Posted

    I do. 

    Recently I have experienced a lot of personal growth - and, of course, the nightmares came with this. 

    This time they were horrible:

    In one, there was a shooting in the mall I work in.  The shooter, armed with a machine gun, was threatening to kill my only male coworker (I work in a hair salon).  None of our cell phones would work to call the cops.  I had to make the decision: would my coworkers and me stay with our male coworker, or would we sneak out the back when the shooter couldn't see?  (Sounds unrealistic that he wouldn't see, but this is a dream we're talking about.)  Eventually, I decided we would go out the back, but when we went out the back, we were swarmed by sea of crackheads.  (I live in an area with lots of drug use.)

    In another, I started going out with an ex of mine again, and his OTHER ex-girlfriend wouldn't leave us alone.  Eventually, she tried to stab me to death.  (Side note: this ex-girlfriend of his, wasn't real.  Like, she sort of symbolized various exes he has, but was all of them and none of them, at the same time.)

    In another, I was lost in the middle of the woods/by the sea.  On a camping trip.  Even though the world around me was beautiful, I was quite stressed about how I would find my way home.

    And finally, the last dream involved me going into Ardenes.  (Yes, the shitty, fast fashion clothing store that I used to love prior to my Spiral Dynamics Stage Green awakening lol).  In the Ardenes, I saw an adult man admit to the retail workers that he loved how 'slutty' the clothes were getting because he loved seeing all the young teenage girls in them.  The workers laughed this off, but I knew this comment had been the tip of the pedophilia ice burg.  I then watched the man buy some shitty pair of necklaces, one that said 'Daddy' and another that said 'Babygirl'.  (No, I've never actually seen this at Ardenes, but this is a dream lol.)  The workers, of course, let him buy it.  I was stressed.  I began making my round on the shop, filling my basket with all kinds of crap I didn't need, even though I didn't want to, purely because I was stressed.

    Okay, so does anyone else experience distressing dreams when going through personal changes or life changes?  And what the hell do you think these dreams mean?

  22. Posted

    This isn't meant to be self-promotional.  I've recently started a YouTube channel, mainly because, in a year's time I want to have something I can look back on, to measure my growth.  So I've been filming little vlogs, rambling about life, mainly personal development.  I don't care if I get subscribers or not.  I'm doing this for me.

    In this vlog, I reflect on how I found my LP, and I speak about Leo's course.  The video isn't meant to be an advertisement for the course.  But it might be useful for someone in this community, maybe someone unsure about whether or not they should buy the course.

    So I figured I'd post it here:

    Hope you're all well, and happy New Year!

    Melody

  23. Posted

    @unborn_chicken I just faced this dilemma with my day job: hair-dressing.  Hair-dressing is not my life purpose; my life purpose is writing, specifically fantasy and science fiction.  After feeling conflicted for a few weeks, I went with the salon position that allows me to clock-in and clock-out.  I realized if I continued at the fancier salon, the job that required so much more of my time and energy, I would be left with no resources to actualize my LP, and that this would render me depressed and bitter.  It was hard to say no to the better pay and better benefits, as well as the 'status' factor.  But ultimately, I know that time is something we cannot get back, so I went with the job that leaves more of my time free for what REALLY matters to me.

  25. Posted

    I have been friends with my boyfriend four about four years, but we didn't get together until July of 2020.  We moved in with each other by December of 2020.  This is my first apartment and my first time living on my own (excluding a few months I lived with an abusive ex, who took care of all the bills).  At twenty-seven years-old, I was terrified to move out, and having my boyfriend's emotional support was much appreciated. 

    Because I was so scared and was relying so heavily on his emotional support, I let a lot of things slide: the cleanliness of the place, how cluttered it is, bad spending habits when we were doing the grocery run, etc.  But months later, I am feeling more secure in my ability to take care of myself and pay my bills and everything.  (I've never been unable to pay my bills; it's just a mental thing.)  And these things I let slide and bothering me more and more.

    We've tried really hard to work through these issues, but ultimately, we both want to live very differently.  And we have decided to separate.

    I'm feeling really anxious and sad, but also excited to live alone.  I am reaching out to this community for support because I know I will need it.  Already, I have doubted my decision many times.  I have panicked about whether or not I can pay my bills.  I have panicked about how lonely I may feel.  I have cried as I think about how much I will miss the good aspects of the relationship. 

    We do love each other and have amazing times together!  Unfortunately, we just don't want to live the same way.  He wants to stay out late.  I want to go to bed early.  He wants to tour with his band.  I want to stay home and write.  Etc. etc.

    I know I need a year to myself, to be single, to live how I want to live, by myself and for myself.  I feel I need this so I can get a really firm idea of how I want to live and know that I can do it on my own.  From there, I will be a lot more able to set boundaries and watch out for deal breakers when I date someone.

    Do you have any advice on how to get through this period and face my fear of being alone?  I know I need to do this, but I am just so scared.

    Thanks,

    Mel