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Posts posted by PurpleTree

  1. there’s nothing to wait for

    your so called « better » future will never come it doesn’t exist

    stop waiting for something




    There’s nothing to seek or find

    not in your mind

    not on your phone 

    not on tinder not on google or forums

    just be if you seek you lose this even though it can’t be really lost

  2. 5 hours ago, Federico del pueblo said:

    Set the intention already before the trip to bring up your "shadow stuff".

    If 130 was no problem you can try 150.

    I wouldn’t say it was no problem. Pychedelics always scare me. But so far good. Yea i’d like to try 150/200 but also it’s quite hard to find the perfect place honestly as it’s a long trip.

  3. 9 minutes ago, Federico del pueblo said:

    At a fairly big range of dosages, starting with about 100 mcg (maybe even 80 for some) all the way to about 200 mcg.

    You can go even higher and you will release emotions also at still higher dosages (even more so) but it will start to pull you more and more in the mystical realms, where there's less ability to analyse and work through things systematically and where experiences tend to become crazier, like very early childhood trauma, reexperiencing your own birth combined with ego death or even past life experiences, often accompanied by associated inner imagery of death, human violence, insanity, apocalypse and similar things.

    The high dosed experiences will overall probably do even more for your emotional wellbeing if you handle them well (no resistance, fully letting everything unfold and completely working everything through till the psychological gestalt is finished), but I would recommend working with lower doses for a while so you gain competence and trust.

    I’ve tried it a few times but highest dosage was like 130.

    But also i didn’t try to work on emotions.

  4. On 15.7.2023 at 9:33 PM, OldManCorcoran said:

    Ibogaine, it's not close even.

    Ok that‘s a new one

    On 16.7.2023 at 0:54 AM, Pudgey said:

    @PurpleTree Since it's a liquid, you can take a 15ML bottle (with a syringe as a bottle cap) and pour ayahuasca into it. You microdose 10-20 drops per day under the tongue and hold it for a few seconds. I usually like to swish it in my mouth; sometimes, I just drink it through - no waiting. For me, I feel sleepy and need to take a nap. If you feel sleepy, go to sleep. If you don't feel sleepy, wait for a few days and see how you feel - as your metabolism will be different than mine. Do this for 30 days with a strong intent to understand and release trauma. Track how you feel mentally every day and only ramp up doses when you feel the intuition to do so or if you don't feel the effects (i.e., not out of pure ego). 

    You may experience strong emotional urges, mental masturbation of trauma, and/or physical sensations throughout your body. At this point, you need to become meditative and conscious of what's going on in your mind. When I became aware of all the trauma I was holding, it was stuck right into my chest. It was like a baseball hit me by a professional player. Instead of the pain being on the outside, it was on the inside. It was a VERY powerful sensation, and I'm surprised I was even able to survive such experience. But, it was what I needed for further spiritual expansion. 

    Trauma releasing with psychedelics is very powerful and should be taken seriously. 

    so you boil the brew yourself and then you take drops of it? But there are two components, do you drink both?

    On 17.7.2023 at 9:31 AM, Javfly33 said:

    5-meo-dmt 🤩

    seems scary

    13 hours ago, Davino said:

    I would say MDMA works great for that but you need to do it, the subtance is not gonna do it for you.

    You can go to that fear and change the memory by the love and ecstasy you are feeling.

    does that only work if you have a specific trauma like a war or rape or also if you just had a tough childhood or whatever?


    6 hours ago, Federico del pueblo said:

    @PurpleTree lsd is excellent for that.

    It brings these emotions up and let's you release them physically, you're body responds strongly to the emotions and you can let it out.

    You might need to actively feel into the emotions first (just think about it) but you might also automatically open the barrel just by taking the substance.

    at what dosage?

  5. 9 hours ago, Anon212 said:

    @Leo Gura  Rupert Spira calls it ordinary but other teachers don't, I remember watching a video on Sadhguru exclusive and he said that he could instantly raise someones consciousness by extreme amounts but they would be terrified, their pants would be full of piss and shit and there would be vomit all over the floor. He made it clear that it is no joke.

    And why do you believe that? Where is the proof

  6. 28 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

    Same I relate to you a quite a bit also much more in my past. 
    I still also have this cringe/shame that you talk about, but it’s very very subtle so I don’t 100% know what it’s about also. 

    So yea I’d just say that’s good keep doing that work you doing. 

    But also I’d like to add something.

    Your body-mind-energy has a natural self regulatory tendency by itself, no matter what you do.

    So you might try hard to “be present” but so is your body-mind-energy doing too independent of your effort.

    So your “lack of presence” can be seen as a particular state that is not PURELY mental or related to your “consciousness”  

    It’s also connected to the body,  nervous system and  your “energy” patterns. 

    so all of these different components work together creating this dysregulated state. 

    but as I said there is a natural self regulatory tendency regardless of your conscious effort. 
    So you might have a bunch of impulses for example I saw a post you wrote wondering why you go back and forth on the internet . Or why you keep refreshing this forum (I do it too haha) . Or maybe you have other cravings for certain foods. Or whatever

    . All kinds of impulses are aspects to this self regulatory tendency of these different components of you that I mentioned. Even if they seem “bad” to you or “excessive” . 

    So one might exhaust oneself trying to achieve a particular state “presence”. But what’s more effective in a way is slowly letting go of some of that effort and allowing this intelligence to take over more and more which it’s already trying to do with all these impulses you’ve having


    you might notice for example if you pay attention how you feel in your body or how your energy moves when you for example engage in this forum as you mentioned and when you read something that resonates. Or when you write a post you might notice how it feels cleansing energetically. Or maybe feels nice in the body 
    or if you eat a food you crave how it puts you in a particular desirable state


    all examples of how this self- regulatory tendency plays itself out trying to put you into the best possible state and balance independent of your effort . Also mental stories is a part of this. 

    so yea all I’m trying to say is that at some point in time one can sort of exhaust this conscious effort and let this intelligence,  this self regulatory tendency to take over more and more because it’s just beyond our own capacity how genius it is

    personally it has absolutely transformed my default state in ways I could’ve never done myself in short period of time 

    simply writing this post I can sense this energy being channeled out of my body it’s very cleansing. So thanks for giving me this opportunity to cleanse myself 🤣🤣🤣Just mentioning so you get the idea 


    so yea do what you want with this info maybe it resonates maybe it just sounds bla bla hahahah 🤣 👍🏻 cheers 

    Thanks for your post :)

    yea i look at it from at least two angles.

    one angle is the kind of let go and let god, everything is already perfect. This is how it’s supposed to be, nothing to seek or heal kind of thing.

    And the other angle is i’m still in ego, this shame block is unnecessary and so frustrating. Hot chicks are into me and i get blocked wtf. And there are things i can try more like somatic work, more psychedelics, more yoga, shadow work, inner child work, ask dumb questions on the forum etc etc etc etc etc etc 


    11 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

    @PurpleTree Did you talk to them at all?

    I would've said something like "Hey ladies. I see you both have been checking me out. I get it. I mean what's not to like...." with a cheeky smile. Even if they lie about by being like "Oh, no sorry, we weren't......" Then right away say "Oh no, you don't have to apologize. Come on, I know you both have already been looking at me like a piece of meat and are right now trying to come up with a game plan on what's the best way to hit on me." You definitely want to say all of this in a cocky/funny manner. At the very least it will makes things fun for all of you in the interaction.

    No i just turned my head when they walked closer to me and walked away feeling the shame trying not to think, trying to fully accept the shame

    the thing is i can’t smile nor talk basically when i’min this “ptsd shame block” a cocky smile and cool sentence in this situation is impossible

  7. 5 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

    Yea but I was thinking more fantasies about idealized scenarios because it’s not too uncommon in some of us who feel a bit cringe sometimes 

    Yea not so much now as i‘m doing inner consciousness work etc whatever and trying to be present


    but i would often be in lala land very much and deep as a child und untill whenever


    also i have high expectations of myself and others, i think it‘s a bit softening too but many triggers i can‘t escape

  8. 6 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

    I said it once on your post about your relationship with your face and I’ll say it again lol 

    What I’m sensing is that you need to ground yourself deeper in your body  . Because then it’s not possible to shut down like that, because your body will be at such ease and so open that everything just flows through it . You couldn’t even block if you tried lol


    but sure you can keep trying to change your “mindset” forever ..

    The thing is i am often grounded in my body. I often feel a deep peace etc etc but then this is just such a strong trigger that i shut down and i am not exactly sure why. Seems like some ptsd stuff but i‘m not sure what the causing underlying belief is, it‘s very hard to untangle.

  9. So i guess seeking comes from trying to fulfill a need, conscioussly or unconsciously.

    So some people stuff their face with food etc because they are trying to fullfil another need that they don‘t know or don‘t know how to adress.


    Me coming from an unstable home blabla where many times i felt abandoned or rejected. I have a „need“ and seek out to be loved by everybody and not get rejected or abandoned. Which is impossible so my ego became disfunctional.