Bando

Member
 View profile  See their activity

  • Content count

    665

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Posts posted by Bando

  2. Posted

    Boot camps from mainstream PUA's or coaches you don't know personally are 100% a scam the best tried and true method, join a dating / pua forum make an account, log a couple of experiences you have and add value, see who the top guys are, organize a trip to do a week long or 3 day bootcamp, take a plane ride or commute to get to the lead guy, do a lot of approaches under his "mentorship".

    I did this when I was deep into my PUA days and got to do a "bootcamp" with one of the advanced guys (150+ lays) and 2 other friends I made, it cost around $700 dollars total for a week (this included living accommodations, going out, and a kick back to the guy leading the camp) 

  6. Posted

    Malls are quickly becoming anti cold approach, in my local mall theres a sign that says "No Harassing Strangers" in the entrance, theres a lot of weird shit thats been going on socially and in the news that have people on edge. 

    If you going to approach focus on the stores, particularly the clothing ones avoid really "public" areas like the mall asiles and food courts b/c thats where the security guards are and once they notice a guy spam approaching what seems to be random strangers you'll become a target.
     

  7. Posted

    Its not often I come across a video in the space of dating / relationships that I'm genuinely blown away by, but "Hoe Maths" (lmao) new video explaining relationships zones is one of the best foundational pieces of content I've watched on how to navigate dating. The interesting part is that it seems balanced as he also gives advice on how women can maneuver themselves in the dating market to find their ideal guy vice versa, without the angry Red-Pill dogma thats so strong in this space.

    It gives a high overview on how attachment and attraction plays for both men and women and provides nice explanations on the different relationships zones each person has when dating. 

    This is a good video for beginners, it lays out a nice overview on how the dating market works and provides several verticals you can work on to improve your success.

    Check out the video 

     

  9. Posted

    A few ideas, first what skills have you gained from chess that you can extrapolate to other career fields? I used to be a heavy gamer but was able to funnel, that creative, competitive, problem solving into programming. I started of learning how to mod a few of my favorite games, to building smaller basic games, to hackathons and then ended up becoming a software dev, it was not in my plans at all but I didn't see gaming as one skill but an outlet for skills I already possessed.

    Second, look into content creation, its 2023, people can make part-time to full-time income by creating a community about things that align with their passions. I recently watched a video on how some guy increased his chess rating from 0 to 1700 Elo in 1 year, that video got over 500k views and it came from a small channel with less than 5k subs. 

    You can make similar videos like that, you can make a beginner series for people just starting off with chess, theres so many options.

    The bottom line is your not being creative enough stop thinking linearly, the people who make big money doing "passion activities" are either extremely gifted or have some other unfair advantage.

    If you don't fall into that camp the best thing to do is to try building a community around your passion by uploading interesting content (usually remaking content you already watch on the subject.)

    I have a friend that loves solving Rubix cubes, hes been to a few tournements and was able to place in the top 3 rankings for some of them. Theres no market for solving Rubix cubes, so obviously the compensation was shit, but he started recording his solves and uploading them to youtube. Then his followers started asking for tutorials on how to solve the cube, more advanced methods, tricks to get 15sec solves ect. This was close to 1.5 years ago. He recently opened up a patreon where he gives coaching to beginners looking to improve their solve time scores and also does custom solve reviews. He only has 12-15k subs

    Hes not at a full- time income yet but he was able to quit his job and do uber part-time, which is a much more  enjoyable life than what he previously had. 

  12. Posted

    Online is frowned upon because you don't gain any skills as a man. I have a friend who has been with over 60+ women strictly from online, he's good-looking, 6'2, white, athletic, but when we go out he is socially uncalibrated, awkward and seems uncomfortable around attractive women.

    He mostly dates women less attractive then him and struggles with women who are better looking. Being friends with him, is a constant reminder that looks isn't the only piece of the pie when it comes to dating.

    I tried to get him to come out for some sessions back in the day and he didnt see the point since he was consistently getting his sexual needs met and didnt see the point in "constant rejection", but would complain he wanted "high tier girls"

    Most people dont really care about game or getting good with women they just want to find a girl that likes them and move on, which is fine but thats a definitive reason why most people look down on online game. 

  13. Posted

    23 hours ago, Philipp said:

    What was the romantic relationship form in a tribe of 1000 human living in the wild

    If we're talking about tribal times I would say it would mostly be harems. "Might is right" seems to be the ethos of that time period.

    A chief and his underlings would probably have access to most women and the rest would have to settle for what was left.

    I don't know if I would call that "primal" though as if you were physically capable enough you could just take what you wanted. Im pretty sure if women would have a say back then they would prefer longterm monogamy as that would ensure the best chance of their offsprings survial.

  14. Posted

    Being concerned about a woman body count often comes down to your own insecurities about having limited sexual experiences. Gaining more sexual experience and having more platonic female friends helped shed a lot of limiting beliefs i had about them. 

    Lets do some math, say in high-school a girl has 2 partners, then she goes of to college and experiments and has 4 partners she graduates and moves to new city and gets with another 2 before finding someone she can have a longer term relationship with. Is being with 8-12 partners over a 10+ year period that bad? I live in a western country so maybe dating culture is different here but there are lot bigger flags to look for in a woman besides body count. 

    I will admit that a woman with a higher body count than 20+ partners is 90% going to have mental health issues that they channel by being promiscuous. This also applies to men, when I was heavy into PUA again 90% of the guys I met were not suitable for long term relationships and had mental health issues they channeled through getting validation with bedding women.  

    Its possible to have a high body count and be mentally healthy but its rare, as pursing a high body count often comes from bad mental health.

  15. Posted

    Arnt you the guy who got kicked out a bar for saying inappropriate things to girls? Going up to women and showing them tik toks of weird hypothetical scenerios regarding male female dynamics is almost always going to end up awkward, especially if your intent is to build some sort of attraction. 

    You can go down this route once you already past hook point and you can feel a vibe but even then its sub-optimal game, why introduce "controversial" topics to a stranger? You know its weird because it took you multiple replies for you to even explain what you were showing the women.

    Your line of thinking in this thread represents someone who is bitter about women and if you don't think that is showing up when you show these women your tik tok videos your socially uncalibrated.

    Also go to a male therapist who has some understanding of dating dynamics and its still "in tune" with younger people. Your therapist should has some life experience solving the problems you've faced. 

  17. Posted

    4 hours ago, Ulax said:

    Firstly, I suppose you could email the university he ends up going to stating you know/ have heard of multiple young girls who this person has sexually assaulted over the course of various years. And that you are greatly concerned he will perpetrate further acts of sexual assault at the university, and that you are writing this email to alert the university to be very responsive to any harassment/ criminal complaints made against the individual.

    I'd just email someone at the university, i.e. get an email from its website. Then ask for the email of whoever deals with sexual harassment complaints at the university. 

    I'm from the UK, and I'm confident the university would keep a log of what you said. And, if anything does happen it could mean that they respond more urgently to any reports against him on campus too.

    I think university departments are quite fearful of being seen to have negative press surrounding things like sexual assault. So i think an email to them could make a difference. Particularly if you note that you urge them to be responsive if a report is made against that individual. Because if he did commit sexual assaults and the press found out you sent that email, then the uni could be heavily criticized by the press.

    Also, I think you would still have the same effect with the email too if you sent this email anonymously, too. As well, as if you make the description of 

    Secondly, On a personal note, I really feel for your and your girlfriends situation. I'm very sorry to hear that there is such injustice there.

    Thirdly, Some IFS therapy could be useful on an emotional level, particularly for your girlfriend i feel. If you need funding you could use 'youarerad.org' too. Said therapy can be done online, and can process/ integrate traumas at the deepest level.

    Fourthly, alternatively or perhaps, in addition, some centering prayer practice (its a letting go meditation that originates from a christian teacher), and some mindfulness meditation could help too. Link 1: https://www.contemplative.org/contemplative-practice/centering-prayer/. Link 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1W30oR1UDBI&t=12s&pp=ygUZYmFzaWMgbm90aW5nIGtlbm5ldGggZm9saw%3D%3D

    I reckon the centering prayer practice could help process the trauma for both of you. I think mindfulness meditation could help you both manage difficult emotions that are coming up now, and would come up in the process of processing too. 

    Lastly, I'd recommend your gf stop hanging out with her current bff. My thinking is the brother likely suffers from some deep toxicity. And, that originates because of a toxic family structure. Hence, the bff will also have some sort of deep toxicity too i reckon. I say this particularly if your gf finds strong signs that the bff values loyalty > integrity, which i reason from her favoring her brother absolutely. Hence, i think it would be unhealthy to your gf to keep friends with said bff. Perhaps, making up some excuse for ending the friendship that doesn't trigger the bff into a toxic reaction could be useful. That said, i understand that ending said relationship could be too emotionally difficult thing to do for your gf. Or, if you would feel too uncomfortable making that recommendation.

    Hope this can be of value mate.

    This is very high quality advice, I knew of a guy when I was in college who was a massive pos and had extremely unethical practices about courting women, many women ended up coming forward after one reported him for sexual assault, the guy would brag about how banged drunk girls and said he still had videos from his high school days. There was an investigation conducted due to the number of complaints and 1 year later we never heard from him. 

    People like the OP described don't really change unless they face steep consequences.
     

  19. Posted

    On 7/6/2023 at 0:18 PM, gleb said:

    I'm a pretty sensitive dude.

    This is very vague do you have unprocessed baggage from your early years in life, bullying, exploited insecurites ect? I'd suggest to make time in finding a good therapist when you can to help unpackage limiting beliefs. 

    There are times you should go to your girl and confide in her about certain things, but what you described isnt something I would cry to my girl about

  20. Posted

    @Paul Boldyrev Youll be fine as long as your your not a creep and have social intelligence girls wont give af, seriously when I was in college there was a guy who would do 20-30 approaches a day on our campus. I tagged with him for a week or 2 and he would push me to approach.

    It took him about 6 months to get kicked out, (he didnt go to the college btw he just gamed there). And that was only because he actually had success and the women found out about each other and reported him to campus police lmao.

      

  21. Posted

    @Manusia There is no right age, imo the right time to settle down is when your finically stable, have had a minimum of 20 partners, and developed strong self-esteem. 

    This could take anywhere from 3-10 years to accomplish which is why you often hear people in the improvement space say you should look to settle down in your 30's.
     

    On 6/28/2023 at 11:21 AM, Manusia said:

    'm also concerned that if I wait until my mid-30s or beyond, I might not have as much energy to dedicate to raising my kids

    If you make taking care of your mind and body a priority this shouldn't be an issue, my dad had me when he was 45 and he is still one of the most energetic, hard working people I know

  22. Posted

     

    On 6/13/2023 at 6:35 PM, Theprofessional said:

    you know, majoring in film studies vs majoring in marketing. Which one looks better to an employer?

    If your really passionate about film you'd be making short films and posting them on youtube tiktok, instagram ect, its 2023 you dont need a degree to have success in more creative based fields.

    Anything outside of stem in my opinion is worthless in my opinion, (not the subject or area of study but the cost-benefit of choosing an area of study that doesn't give you ROI) if you are going to college for free thats a different story but if your dishing out 10's of thousands you have a problem.

  25. Posted

    @Ramanujan Forget books find a PUA forum get around other guys who share their experiences dating women and learn, use your own experience as a guide on what you should be learning. A good resource to start is Jmulv (John Anthony), even though he's a sociopath and has serious insecurities , (like most PUA's) he has picking up women down to a science.

    To boil everything down there a 5 bottlenecks in dating 

    1. Getting contact information (phone number, social media)

    2. Properly managing contacts, (text game)

    3. Running good dates (how to vibe and escalate dates)


    4. Closing (how to seal the deal and handle objections)

    5. Retention (how to keep girls around)