In a sense I don't struggle with friends because I'm so introverted I don't keep them.
I enjoy my own company more than that of any other human. Many people don't understand such a lifestyle.
The struggle was three-fold:
Simply learning to be social at all Getting over my insecurities and limiting beliefs that any hot girl would want to date me Learning how to flirt and attract women When I started I had big problems with all three.

What is it you ultimately want?

@egoeimai
Been here before. 
All of your judgements and criticisms you have of others cause you a massive amount of self-inflicted suffering because your mind has to hold you to the same standard it holds other people. 
The good news is you can take control of your own judgements and criticisms.
All of the qualities you hate about your cousin are actually qualities you have repressed within your own psyche because you fear becoming them yourself.
For instance if you hate her when she is acting insecure, 
deep down you fear becoming a version of yourself that is insecure because you cannot accept a hypothetical version yourself as insecure. Your mind then goes about developing a strategy so that you never appear insecure to yourself or other people because you cannot accept yourself being insecure.
The solution here is self love.
Make a list of all the things you hate about her.
She is insecure.
She is needy.
She is arrogant.
Then after you have this list, for each one find 3 ways you are the same way in your own life. Actually give an effort to find them.
 
After you've done that imagine yourself as being each of these qualities and ask yourself for your own permission to love that version of yourself.
Could I allow myself to love myself for being __________ (Insecure? Needy? Arrogant? Narcissistic?) etc.
 
After you ask yourself this question a space should open up inside of you allow yourself a choice to extend your sense of love toward that previously disowned sense of self. 
(You can answer yes and feel it).
Once you love all versions of yourself that had all the qualities you hated in your little cousin. You should be able to see her as she is.
 

You could also create an identity out of having a certain length of hair, or any other attribute.
How about when a child is born is call ones with curly hair "aliens" and ones with straight hair "queens"? And then we program our entire culture around this, such that we have separate bathrooms for aliens and queens, and we dress and treat them differently. We pay the aliens half as much as the queens. We humiliate aliens in public. We tell the aliens that they are worse than queens and then they will want to kill themselves.
Of course. Deconstruction of socially constructed categories requires a highly developed mind, at least Cook-Grueter level Pluralist+
You can't explain math to a donkey.

You always were perfect. That's the key to get.

Welcome to life in a tribe/community -- where we all rely on each other to survive. Without cooperation all of us would be dead. That's what it means to be human. Cooperation is a delicate balancing act.
You can cooperate with people without being overly needy. A lot of stuff you can handle yourself, but when it comes to getting a blowjob, well... that's where you cooperate
The way to break out of the cycle is stop thinking about it and start taking action to develop abundance. You can get very experienced with girls such that you no longer feel needy. You can also do inner work to raise your confidence and self-esteem.
You're right. There's no substitute for socialization. Stop over-thinking and go out and talk to girls.

A supermodel is a lot more than just a hot girl. She has fame, status, and millions of dollars.
Yeah, I could bang a hot nobody girl. But landing an actual supermodel is a very different matter. She's not gonna date a guy who's not at least a millionaire.
Celebrity dating is a whole nother league, son.
BTW, I once went on a date with the 75th top ranked Russian pro tennis star. She was buying BMWs with cash and she was smoking hot. Her body was incredible. But we didn't get along so I never got the chance to sleep with her. But I got real close. If our personalities were more aligned it would have happened.
So yeah, even a guy with my looks can attract hot girls. But it requires game. It ain't gonna happen "naturally".

@Spiral Wizard
If you want to attract conscious people, first thing I would do is focus on raising your own consciousness. From a law of attraction perspective, people on the same wavelength are bound to meet. And I've found that to be true in my experience. Even if there's only one conscious person in a group of ten, I will somehow end up talking to that person.
More practically, just start going to places where people you want to meet hang out. It's usually not that hard to find the places / events. Instagram is your friend when it comes to this. Go there regularly so people recognize your face even if you don't actually meet.
Once you're there, make friends with everyone. Social circles have a exponential effect, meaning one friend could lead you to meeting 10 more. And each of those 10 could lead you to meeting 10 more.
After that, if you want to become some sort of host / organizer / leader you can certainly do that. It may help. But I wouldn't consider it necessary.

Well, there is a fine line between
- re-experiencing - which is just an endless cycle of the same emotions at best and also can be re-traumatizing (more "hyper" sympathetic symptoms of dissociation)
- a crying where emotions integrate / release
- feeling of numbness / depression (more "hypo" parasympathetic symptoms)
For example in trauma (theory) usually there is one part that is more "numb" / depressed... and another part that is flooded with a lot of overwhelming emotions / flashback images. These things have to be integrated gradually; otherwise it is not helpful.
The "theory" say, that if you are not within the window of tolerance (either too much or too little) you are not integrating the stuff.

Of course
And also, nothing says you have to love her in a blind and stupid way. You can love people without becoming their doormat.
If you grow and mature as a man, you will be wise enough to preempt any kind of exploitation that some women might do to you. It is weak men who get exploited by women.

Extraordinary evidence requires an extraordinarily open mind.

Good, but vote Biden
Don't let not-knowing preclude correct action.

In theory you would learn it more comprehensively in a formal art school.
But this not strictly necessary. You can also teach much of it to yourself. But you'll have to put in the time and energy.
There is a significant difference between formal art training vs simply watching 3DsMax tutorials. Technical software skills are NOT art fundamentals.
I have a good grasp of 3DsMax and Photoshop, but I have very little grasp of art fundamentals. Which is why I'm not a great artist. But I can model a dragon in 3DsMax. But it won't be an awesome work of art. Hence studios would be fools to hire me as a 3D artist.
For me to become a great artist I would need serious formal art training. Not just some online software tutorials. To be a great artist you must study the aesthetics of life: form, shape, lines, curves, colors, composition, symmetry, light, shadow, objects, anatomy, etc.

@nistake If you want to be a great 3D artist you should study traditional art. Anatomy, sculpture, drawing, color theory, composition, etc.
The most impressive thing Art Directors look for when hiring 3D artists is whether they have that traditional artistic knowledge. Since that is hardest to teach. They care less about your technical software skills. Although of course technical software skills are important to develop your portfolio. But what you should really highlight is your understanding of traditional art, anatomy, and form. If you can demonstrate a solid classical understanding of art, you shouldn't have a problem getting hired and even trained on the job in new software.
Be a good artist first, and a 3D artist second. Because good art is the foundation for good 3D art.
When you try to pitch yourself to employers, don't lead with your technical skills, lead with your fundamental mastery of your craft, whether that be art, programming, design, business, or whatever. Demonstrate that you have a solid understanding of the fundamentals of your sub-field. Demonstrate mastery and excellent grasp of your sub-field. Then your technical skills are the cherry on top.

There too many ways to list them all:
Grooming better Dressing better Having a strong sense of life purpose and direction Developing charisma Developing humor Developing confidence, leadership skills, speaking skills Earning money, becoming successful, reputable, famous Building a social circle of cool and positive friends Being more social Gaining experience with women Doing pickup & cold approach Developing flirting skills Improving your vocal tone and body posture Going to the gym and shaping up your body Improving your diet Building an amazing life for yourself Developing amazing sexual skills Developing emotional connection and your feminine side Meditation & consciousness work Self-love and self-acceptance Developing misc skills such at: cooking, home repair, home defense, sewing, arts & crafts, martial arts, yoga, photography, etc. Becoming a good human being Improving your communication skills Improving your relationship skills Learning, reading, knowledge Building an awesome bachelor pad/home that will make a girl wet just from walking in Traveling around the world And more... You could invest 10 years of full time work developing all that.
None of it is necessary to get laid, but all of it ups your value.
Bottom line: become awesome, and awesome people will gravitate towards you. Or stay lame, and lame people will gravitate towards you. But don't expect to have awesome people in your life while you're lame and too lazy to change yourself. A lazy, sloppy, victim attitude instantly makes you repulsive, since you are a value-leech, expecting something for nothing. If you want something special you must be eager to work for it.

You can't ever win that game because that kind of good vs bad is dualistic and relative. So no matter how much "good" you create and how much "bad" you avoid, you will always fail.
True Goodness is Absolute, which means it includes the "bad".
The ultimate solution to "bad" stuff is not to avoid it, but to stop seeing it as "bad".
"Bad" is a projection of the ego-mind thanks to its endless desire to survive. So this problem cannot be solved at the level of consciousness you're trying to solve it at.
Absolute Good does not mean that your ego will get everything it wants.

Hey.  
So I've been using this technique I got from Shinzen Young.  It's super simple; instead of thinking about what you're going to say and do, just allow yourself to move, say and do things sponaneously.
I experience a lot of indecision and emotional issues, and this has been so valuable when I'm in a tight spot and feel overwhelmed and not knowing what to do.  
It's amazing how reliable I've found it to be.
He offers some more methods in this video as well.
 

I brought up sex in regards to the spiral in another thread. I'm just copying and pasting what I had wrote down. I'm really curious about this subject and I want to know what yall think.
As far as Beige is concerned, from what I understand is that stage has to do with being a baby and learning to walk, talk, properly see, and move through the world. I don't think there is much you can say on sex there.  
Purple/Red: Disregard future consequences. Have all the sex you want  with as many people you want in your tribe or empire, be guided by your primal desires. Don't consider what  other people think even if it violates consent. I wouldn't be surprised if prostitution was common in purple or red. 
Blue: Repression because of potential consequences (whether it is STDs, infidelity, or God's wrath). Expectation to not have sex because or else you are a whore going against God's will. I wouldn't be surprised if notions of purity have come up in stage blue because of the prevalence of STDs since historically not everyone had the means to contraceptives and the only way to control people was through dogma. (Here I think it's good to integrate potential consequences and thinking ahead) 
Orange: Backlash against blue. Expectation to participate in hook up culture or else you're some repressed prude. Sex isn't some sacred thing, you just blow your load and that's it. Blue sees this desire to make sex secular as a way of potentially going back to purple/red because casual sex is seen as barbaric and unorderly. (Here I think it's good to integrate the idea that sex isn't dirty, there is nothing wrong with casual sex as long as it's safe and consensual, and that there shouldn't be religious justifications for repressing sex)  
Green: Emphasis on consent. Do what feels right granted that it feels authentic and isn't rooted in society's or other people's pressure.  Don't shame people for saying yes or no. Feminism also comes in because it emphasizes how the patriarchy shames women, and sometimes men, for saying yes or no. I mention men because not all men want sex but there are notions of masculinity in the patriarchy that paints men as these sex hungry creatures and if you don't want sex, there is something wrong with you and you aren't manly. Sex is more emotionally intimate and can be held as sacred for some people (especially in the case of some new age spiritual people).  Orange has a backlash against this because why would sex be something that can be seen as sacred on an emotional level. That looks like it's regressing back to blue. (Here it's good to integrate other people's views so that they can coexist whether their views may be for casual sex ,for waiting, for embracing sexuality with someone you care about for spiritual reasons, or for things such as gay sex if that is your orientation) 
Yellow: Emphasis on understanding other perspectives. Like green, yellow wants to have a more holistic approach to understanding different people's perspectives. However, it isn't triggered like green when it comes to repression or hookup culture because it sees the rest of the spiral. Also sex is cool at yellow, there is nothing wrong with having it or not having it, but there are other things in life that catches its attention such as research and analysis of models. (Here, it's good to integrate that sex is nice but isn't a necessity for living a good life. You can let go of desires or not let go, but neither choice comes from a place of repression. This fluidity is because you aren't clinging to your sexuality) 
*I'm not sure about yellow tbh but this is my observation
Turquoise: I genuinely have no idea

@Consciousone35 Your entire approach is Tier 1, not Tier 2.
You are obviously acting out some unresolved shadow issue of yours but portraying it as a noble cause.
The shadow isn't the people you're hunting, it's you, the hunter.
What you're doing is otherwise known as a moralistic crusade. And it will end badly for you.

If you examine it more closely, actually it didn't hurt. She said no and you were not hurt at all. It was no big deal.
Be careful with how your mind exaggerates things and paints all sorts of self-biased narratives.
You should distinguish between good game vs luck.
It is terrible game to ask for a number so soon. That doesn't mean it will never work. Anything can work if you try it enough times. But the point is to become natural and charming in your interactions with women.
Going up to a woman and immediately asking for her number is just downright creepy. This is the kind of move that gives pickup a bad name.
Learn to be social so that dating and sex flows from it naturally. Then people won't think of you as a creeper.

You are resentful because you have unhealed wounds and you feel hurt.
Those wounds requiring confronting, accepting, healing, and forgiving.
Go try to do it and see what happens.
You weren't taught for the same reasons you aren't teaching the next generation.
Don't expect others to do that which you are unwilling to take responsibility for doing yourself. If you don't do it, who will?

Bingo! That's it. It's as simple as that.
It's even reflected in your username.
You will have to do deep inner work to heal, forgive, and release that trauma. Then you will be able to be more intimate with men.
This is not a problem of lack of sexual skill. It's an inner game problem due to your molestation.
Your best bet is working with a spiritual healer/coach to release your trauma, rather than watching sex technique videos.
Sex is not about mechanical technique. It's about your mind.
The reason you can't cum is because you were molested and now you're not able to fully surrender to the man. You probably have a deep fear of intimacy and vulnerability because you had to put up emotional armor to protect yourself against the hurt and shame of being molested by a family member.

Who gives a fuck?
Be a man and go get the girls you want! You are the hunter. Stop sitting around waiting for them to hunt you. You should be the one who's screening girls to find which ones are worthy of your love.
If a girl can't see how awesome you are, that's her stupidity and it is beneath you to try to second-guess yourself by assuming she is somehow right. Own your awesomeness rather than waiting for girls to validate it for you. Adopt the frame of a man who understands his own worth regardless of what the outside world is telling you.
When the outside world tells you that you're not awesome, you need to tell yourself, "They're crazy! I'm even more awesome than I previously realized. How can they be so blind?"

If you got decent game, about 1/3 of girls should hate you, 1/3 should love you, and 1/3 should be indifferent to you.
Train yourself to only care about the right 1/3.

It's not a function of statistics.
YOU ARE NOT A STATISTIC!
There is no reason why you cannot earn a million dollars. The only thing stopping you is your own lack of desire, creativity, and commitment.
Yeah, I'm biased towards getting results and not playing victim.
Literally trillions of dollars are exchanging hands around the world every year. And you can't get $1 million of it? You are pathetic. That's on you.
This is not a million. This is $100+ million.