Loving Radiance

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  1. How 2 store LSD
    how to storage LSD ?
    I am receiving a decent amount of 1P-LSD soon, and was wondering what the best way is to storage for a long period of time, seeing as i am not planning on popping everything up in a couple of weeks 
    i tried to search the internet,  but there is a lot of info there contradicting each other !!! 

  2. How 2 store 5meo
    Storing your 5-MeO-DMT: A primer on long-term storage of psychedelic compounds
    As many of you know, pure 5-Meo-DMT has become available again from research chemical vendors! Many people are interested stocking up and keeping it for the long haul. This thread is intended to provide an outline of the best strategies for storing 5-MeO-DMT (and other psychedelics). With good storage procedure it should be possible to store 5-MeO-DMT for decades with little to no degradation. While this primer was written with 5-MeO-DMT in mind, it applies to other psychedelic compounds as well.
    It is divided into the sections: Material, Safety, Long term storage, Short term storage
    Material:
    The salts of 5-MeO-DMT will resist degradation better than the freebase, so you could choose 5-MeO-DMT in Oxalate, Fumarate, HCl or other salt form as they will all last better than the freebase. Someone on here pointed out that the Oxalate has never before appeared on the market, indicating that this is a fresh batch, so that might be the best un-degraded form right now. OTOH, the other forms could be from a new synth too, I don't know. If you need freebase down the road for vaporizing, there are teks on the web on how to convert a salt form to freebase. If you just want to vape it for short term use, you might as well order freebase. When talking about other compounds, here are some general rules of thumb: The phenethylamines (2C-B, 2C-E, mescaline etc) are the most hardy of the bunch. Mescaline has been found in peyote buttons in archaeology sites still active after hundreds or even thousands of years. Next, the tryptamine class (including 5-MeO-DMT) are a fair bit more fragile and need better care. Of the tryptamine class, the 5-sub ones (5-MeO-DMT etc) seem more hardy than the 4-sub ones (4-AcO-DMT, psilocybin etc). Last, the lysergamides (LSD, AL-LAD) are theoretically the least stable of the bunch, although there is a story of old Sandoz acid being passed around at some gathering many many decades after it was synthed, and it still worked fine. Lysergamides are particularly vulnerable to UV light and the chlorine that's found in most tap water. Safety:
    Locks - If you live with children or irresponsible adults, it is crucial that you keep these compounds safely locked away. Acquire some kind of small lock box to store your chemicals in. Even without such people around, it's a good habit for long term storage because you don't know what might come about in 10 years. Labelling - It's critical to properly label any stored material. You will forget what is what 10 years from now. Also if someone penetrates your locked box, you don't want them snorting a line of 5-MeO thinking it's something like coke. You might also want to put a note in the box to explain to any intruder what's in there, and to talk to you about it. Long term Storage:
    Heat, moisture, light and air will be the main causes of degradation, so the general idea is to protect your 5-MeO-DMT from these factors. Here are some points:
    Sealed and dry: You can keep your 5-MeO-DMT sealed in it's original baggie. Put this baggie inside another baggie, and then inside a sealed container that has some kind of desiccant (drying agent) in it. Silica gel packets that come with some food items are good. Uncooked rice is also actually really good. Good sealed containers include glass canning jars. Amber vials: Some people prefer to transfer the baggie contents to small amber vials, like the ones used for essential oils. You can order those kinds of vials off of amazon or other vendors. Don't reuse old vials because they could have contaminants in them. You could put these vials inside another container containing desiccant. Freezer: The cold of the freezer will greatly slow down any degradation. Put your sealed containers in the lock box if you have one, and then in the freezer, and just leave them in there for years if you want. You *must* have everything sealed really well from moisture when you put it in the freezer, otherwise you'd be better off leaving it at room temperature. Opening your stash: When you need to access your stash DO NOT OPEN IT RIGHT AWAY. Wait until it comes up to room temperature, so just leave it for a few hours to let it warm up. If you open it right away moisture will condense and you'll have moisture issues. Antioxidant: Some people like to add an antioxidant in with the desiccant. The idea is that any oxygen in the container will preferably react with the antioxidant rather than end up oxidizing the drug. I'm not sure the best antioxidant, but you could try vitamin C. None of the desiccant or antioxidant should ever come into direct contact with the 5-MeO-DMT. You can score an A+ on storage by displacing the air in the storage container with a heavy inert gas like xenon. Some extreme wine enthusiasts do this to prevent wine from oxidizing after they've opened it up. A bit excessive if you ask me, but certainly takes it to the next level. Short term Storage:
    For short term storage the same principals as above apply, but you can afford to be a little less careful. Any amount that you will want to use in say the next few months or year, you could keep in short term storage.
    Keep your small amount in a small baggie or amber vial, optionally put that inside a larger baggie sealed with silica gel packets.  You might get away with "locking" it in one of those plastic child-proof medicine bottles that prescription meds come in. Better to have it behind an actual lock though. Again, label it. Store at room temperature, somewhere cool, away from any light, and discreet.  Notes:
    What an amazing time we live in! Never before in history has it been possible for millions of people to access this chemical key to directly unlocking mystical states of consciousness. Only since the early 2000s has this compound been available on the web, and even then it's always been off and on. Before that only rare chemists and their friends had access to it. There are no guarantees as to how long this door will stay open so act wisely, share carefully and with love.
    Feel free to comment with any corrections/additions/notes etc. I will continue to come back to edit this for clarity and updates.

  3. Transformation Mastery notes for ANGELIC RADIANT LIFE
    Notes of RSD Transformations: trauma release seminar
    Section 01. Introduction
     
    1. Introduction
    2-5-2020 01:54
     
     
    2. How To Go Through This Program
    This is experimental, not theoretical. You have to go through it. It is a journey.
    ·         From scarcity to abundance
    ·         Let the exp take over
    ·         It is about inner exp
     
    Requirements for this program:
    1.       Awareness: see things different and global understanding
    2.       Proof: experimental part, inner exp is key, now you apply it
    3.       Permanence: how to make the change stay and explore your subconscious
     
    Two separate parts of this program
    ·         Guided morning and evening routine approach
    ·         Outer approach
     
    Section 02. Awareness
     
    01. Get To The Cause
    ·         Paradigms(assumptions) are lenses/maps; how you see the world
    o    You see the world as you are conditioned, not how it is
    o    You are not aware of it
    ·         Main two paradigms is abundance/scarcity (think back to glasses/maps metaphor)
    o    Your assumption is scarcity (not being enough, self-hate and stress)
    o    You are not in the one or the other, this paradigm is a spectrum
    o    Read 7 habits of highly effective people
    o    Your paradigm determines what you see. It determines your reality.
    o    And what you do and what you think enforces certain paradigms
    o    Paradigms don't exist: internal models determine external model
     
    02. Scarcity vs Abundance
    ·         It is not what you are doing, but where it comes from
    ·         You can do same thing but paradigm change makes the difference
    o    Scarcity(reacting): from desperation, compulsion, from fear(working against yourself)
    o    Abundance(generating): from inspiration, authentic (just happens because!)
    ·         Read power versus force
    o    Effort is not a virtue
    o    Less effort the more powerful it is
    o    Effort takes energy out of you
    o    It doesn't mean you do less: there is just less stress
    o    Just let go/unleash ( remember: it is the place it is coming from)
    ·         This is source of addiction:
    o    Desperation: you do something to run away from something (what are you running from? Let go from what you are running from)
    o    Inspiration: why are you do something? You welcome everything, not resisting anything, no suffering
    o    When you remove desperation you get inspiration
    o    It is about the intention that should be good, not the urge. Urging anything won't get you anything.
    o    You aren't the character in the game, you are the person who is playing the game. Enjoy the game.
     
    03. The Goal
    2-5-2020 13:52
    ·         The goal = Oneness = abundance 
    o    there is nothing you can do to deserve it
    o    it can't depend on anything
    o    You have to start with abundance, it can't be learnt, it is assumed
    o    It is a state, it is not in the game, it is before it
    ·         Don't wait until you get things in your life before accepting abundance
    o    You can't have the good without the bad, be aware of that = enjoy the thing, don't depend on it
    ·         Abundance is about nonduality
    ·         Read the Kabalian
     
    04. The Journey
    ·         This is journey of removing, not adding
    o    Remove false paradigm of scarcity
    o    It is not about knowledge
    o    Learn by letting go, not holding onto
    o    It is a state
    o    Let go of all emotions: positive and bad
    ·         Having > doing > being
    ·         You have to be it, not do it
    ·         It is a default
    ·         It is pre-verbal / non-conceptual
    ·         Happiness is opposite of not being happy, let go of that cycle, go into nonduality
     
    05. My Story
    ·         Julien escaped life of drinking, day dreaming, sleeping
    ·         Don't be stuck and fall into the same trap
    1.       Step 1: optimize to gain situational confidence
    a.       But you are still acting within the old paradigm where you are stuck
    b.       Optimizing your situation eliminates your excuses
    c.       When you optimize you run away from something to something else
    d.       Misery is your first teacher, dropping it is your second teacher
    2.       Step 2: drop paradigm
    a.       You have to be ok with nothing, give up everything, come to this point of desperation
    b.       When you are one step away from despair you are one step away from enlightenment
    c.       There are different tools to optimize your life and eventually drop it
    d.       You know you are ready for dropping when you have a state of relief after you dropped it
     
     
    06. Commit To Abundance
    ·         If you don't feel resistance when you are improving yourself, you are doing something wrong
    o    If you drop everything, inspiration is something that is natural, it comes natural
    o    It should feel like a personal attack
    o    It should feel like weight training
    ·         You will feel into nothingness and from there you will be "everythingness" = ego death
    o    Be honest: everything you did didn't work
    o    Be sick of it
    o    Be authentic with yourself. How long you want to chase ghosts? How many disappointments you want to take?
    o    Nothing you will get will make you happy; realize this (if you keep it up it will make the graving alive and you will keep stick in your paradigm)
    o    Escapism is greatest problem of this world
    ·         There has to be willingness to commit to abundance
    o    When you change the internal, the external will manifest
    o    You can still enjoy the same things but it will come from a different place; you experience it like for the first time; you can finally enjoy life
     
    Section 03. Proof
     
    01. How to Let Go
    ·         Letting go of false scarcity (and everything is built upon it, and reinforcing it) is the goal
    ·         Concentration exercises is good but it doesn't get to the cause. Julian is more about mindfulness(focus on what you are running from)
    ·         Recommendation: Pranic healing/breathing. David Hawking. Eckhart Tolle. 
    ·         You have to experience abundance. That is only way to get it.
    ·         You can't figure it out or think of letting go. Detach from your mind/thoughts/emotions
    ·         Three steps:
    a.       be aware
    b.       Allow yourself to exp
    c.       Let it come up
     
    02. Step 1 - Be Aware Of What You Want To Let Go Off
    ·         Step 1: become aware/mindful
    ·         Focus on sensations. Don't focus on thoughts/emotions for this work.
    o    When you focus on thoughts, that thought will lead to another thought and make that pattern in your mind stronger.
    o    If you keep doing what you rae doing it will go on forever until you die
    ·         Sensations: tightness, tingling, breath
    o    It is the data in your body, that your brain interprets and converts to thoughts/emotions
    o    Sensations can be located it in your body, emotions can't
    o    If you let go of sensations you can't let go of the associated thoughts/emotions
    o    Learn body awareness
     
    03. Step 2 - Allow Yourself To Experience It Fully
    ·         Step 2: allow yourself, accept it fully, don't get rid of it, experience it, don't make sense, don't validate, just feel it, don't suppress it, accept it, be with it unconditionally, don't change it, be with them, don't abandon them
    ·         It will change by itself by experience it
    ·         Don't do things to change your sensations: they mature by giving attention
     
    04. Step 3 - Let It Come Up And Let It Out
    ·         Step 3: let them run their course and reach their natural end
    ·         They will disappear in nothingness, they will leave on their own, they want to leave but you are stopping them
    ·         Bring awareness to them with techniques
    ·         Relief will come which is a good sign
     
    05. Guided Release
    ·         Pranic breathing is the method
    ·         There shouldn't be external distractions
    ·         Back straight, to stay alart
    ·         Place hands on lap, facing down
    ·         Just feel, don't resist experience them fully, stay with them, sink in with them, let them take over, tell them you are with them and be
    1.       Be aware of what you want to let go, feel into your body right now, visualize inner chatter,
    2.       Focus on root/basic chakra which is your base of your spine
    3.       Breath in from nose for 6 seconds, hold for 3, breath out for 6 out of mouth (maske ssssh sound and letting those sensations go
     
    Section 04. Permanence
     
    01. The Subconscious Mind
    03/05/2020 14:17
    ·         Letting go gives you proof but it is still in your subconscious, if you want it permanent you need to dig and let it go subconscious
    ·         Conscious is on the surface which is 10%, subconscious is under the water which is 90%
    o    If you are conscious of everything you wouldn't be able to survive
    o    Things that are learnt will be stored in your subconscious
    o    Something that can't be faced will be taken over by your subconscious: trauma's, grudges, wounds, beliefs and assumption
    o    Subconsciousness is active if you want it or not
    o    It is on repeat; the longer it is active the more momentum it has
    ·         Subconscious is in charge
    o    Get to the cause
    o    Be present
    o    Let go of the assumption of scarcity
    o    Let go off the subconscious shit
    o    Whatever your resist, persists
    o    Whatever you don't use, you lose
    o    You won't do anything harmful to yourself consciousness, you do it unconsciousness
    o    Be aware that subconscious will pull you back. It is stronger than the conscious.
    o    You can't bullshit your subconsciousness: don't tweak the effects, tweak the cause
    o    Subconscious is our friend, not our enemy, although now it is the other way around
     
     
    02. Social Conditioning
    ·         There are acceptable things and unacceptable things by our society: unquestionable dogmas are the walls
    ·         There are first and second hand experience
    o    Most of our info and what you accept as truth is second hand experience; info from other people
    ·         How certain they are
    ·         How aligned they are with it
    ·         How many people believe it
    ·         Then you accept it as valid although it isn't
    o    Example of second hand exp forms your map of the world:
    ·         scarcity
    ·         You are not popular
    ·         Relationships are painful
    ·         Worst punishment: withdrawal of love
    o    It formed you
    o    Your parents didn't know better; don't blame yourself or your parents
    o    You suppressed certain parts because of this; you don't have a memory of this
    ·         Birth of Ego: everything that is acceptable, and everything that is nonacceptable (self-hate for example)
    o    You are the meanest people for yourself: you are abandoning your subconscious self, you don't know yourself fully, you kill self-trust because some parts are against you, repelling people because you are a fuckup, when you get it you will lose it
     
    03. Pandora's Box
    ·         What is in your subconscious?
    o    Unacceptable thoughts/emotions/traits/trauma's
    o    Not all aspects are bad; they are just labelled that way
    o    Example: being judged for hard laughter, being abandoned, being rejected/shocked/not being loved
    o    You shouldn't laugh less than every two weeks
    o    You won't remember trauma's most of the time; main theme repression
    ·         It can manifest into people pleasing, avoiding stuff, being afraid
     
    04. The Process
    ·         Don't try to fix it (which means not accepting), accept it by not resisting so they don't get stuck
    o    Accepting doesn't equal approving = validate it that it is there
    o    Don't compensate by inflating ego by trying to get success
    o    Understand your psyche as a whole; create an oneness
    o    Going through it instead of repress it/deny it; head on approach
    ·         It is about dissolving the ego, not working on your ego. This how you create abundance/core-confidence
    ·         It is a click; being comfortable in your skin
    ·         Your default should be deserving
     
    05. Opening Pandora's Box
    ·         It won't be pleasant but you are on the right path with trauma release
    o    Let it take over; surrender to it; it will feel like death (ego death)
    o    It is matter of where you invest in. Do you want to surrender/transcend or resist?
    ·         Let go of sensations: time * reps until sensations are gone
    o    Things will go bad before it goes good; one step backwards, two steps forward
    o    Trauma is there because you resisted it so experience it and let go of it
    o    Feel whatever is; develop a taste for pain; let the ego melt
    ·         Put it into perspective; most stuff is not bad as it seemed
    ·         Law attraction angle: whatever is running in the background you attract
    o    Take out momentum out of it
    o    Bring awareness to it, don't think about it
     
    06. Identifying The Subconscious
    ·         Step one is becoming aware of the trauma's so how do you become aware of trauma's?
    ·         There is no general list because it is different for everybody
    ·         Methods:
    a.       Think back of your childhood: what were acceptable and what were unacceptable? What were family values? The repressed are the walls of the castle.
    b.       Think back of returning patterns: What are your returning patterns in your life? There is no coincidences. Accept the suppressed otherwise you recreate situation until you self-accepted. You will be forced until you find a resolution. The scale of the situation might be the same but the underlying thing will be the same.
                                           i.            The cause is the first traumatic experience (the media scandal is the effect of the original trauma for example)
                                         ii.            Be aware how you recreate parental relationships in your life: what are you drawn to? And what do you avoid? Remove the cause
    c.       Think back of when you are triggered: when did you react disproportional? It has to do with pain bodies (Eckhart Tolle). Examples of sensations: anger, fear, guilt, shame, rage, drama, addictive behaviour. It is signal of suppression.
    d.       Think back of what you escape from: when did you escape something? Dive into the sensation. Examples of escapism: masturbation to escape, socializing, eating sleeping surf the web, putting up a front
    e.       Think back of fear. When were you afraid? Get to the root. Let go of the resistance. Break the cycle. Examples: fear of being abandoned, FOMO, not being in control, not being accepted.
    ·         Follow the reaction to the source: cultivate awareness in the moment, catch it, take perspective and let it go
    o    Take the momentum out of the reaction
    o    It is not what triggered, it is what being stirred up, what is suppressed inside you? See the structure instead of the content
    o    Breath into those sensations
    o    Purposely trigger yourself
    o    It is better to face it right now because with time the trauma will get worse
     
    07. How To Let Go Of The Subconscious Mind
    ·         How to let it go which is step 3. Recap: Be aware of what you let to, dive into the sensations in your body (don't get stuck in the story in head head), follow it to the source, think back of the first time you felt this sensation. Repeat the question "when was the first time?" until you get to it.
    ·         Method
    o    Don't force the process. Dissolve the resistance by relaxing your body and your mind.
    o    Shame, fear and guilt should be the first pillars to remove before diving deeper into yourself.
    o    Be aware of cues of your mind. There is no wrong path but don't think, just feel through it. It is about de-sensation.
    o    Set and setting is important; verbalize safety to yourself
    o    Ground yourself: base of your feet are roots going into the ground
    o    Use pranic breathing
    o    Accept and validate the sensation; fully and unconditionally
    o    Be patient and invite the sensations to leave
     
    08. Guided Subconscious Release
    ·         Place yourself in a safe environment without distraction. Let your subconscious know.
    ·         Put your spine straight and your palms on your legs
    ·         Visualize chatter box in your mind, change the location to the spine and moving down, lock the position
    ·         Operate from the base of your spine
    ·         Do 3 cycles of pranic breathing(first round): close your eyes, breath in for 6 seconds, hold for 3 seconds, release for 6 seconds, hold for 3, breath normal, repeat
    ·         Operate from the base of your spine but now also to the ground: visualize roots from your foot going deep in the earth, grounding you
    ·         Repeat 3 cycles of pranic breathing(second round): breath to the roots, breath in/out strengthen the grounded connection. Breath out with a "ssssh" sound to let the sensations out.
    ·         Feel the grounded connection afterwards
    ·         You are out of your head and in your body: breath into it
    o    become aware of the sensations, let things come up if it wants to come up (distractions, fears or triggers). Let them take over.
    o    Follow it to the source. Ask yourself what was the previous time I felt like this? Accept it fully and unconditionally
    o    Now ask when was the first time you experienced this sensation. Let it come up. Put your awareness on it. Let go of resistence.
    o    Stay with the sensations and let it come up. Don't label them. Don't try to understand. Surrender to it. Validate and accept it. Breath to it. Be with it.
    ·         Do another 3 cycles of pranic breathing(third round): letting go
    o    Let it come up and let it go. Invite them to come up and let them run their natural course. Remind yourself that they want to leave but you are resisting it.
    o    Experience the relief, embrace the experience of the new self.
    ·         Do the fourth round of pranic breathing: do it and come back, and afterwards put awareness of your surrounding
     
    05. Conclusion
     
    22. Conclusion
    ·         Now you know what letting go is (awareness), how to let go (proof), how to dig up, accept and reown in your subconcious (permanence), but how long does this take? How long before you get self-actualized? It is the wrong question. Leave the paradigm of succeeding. You are already there. It is in the now.
    ·         There is nothing to reach. Don't see it as a goal. You will never reach it. Give up by trying to reach it and you will be there. That is the journey. Let go of trying to get somewhere.
    ·         Even if you get there you will be afraid of losing it. Don't be too serious about it. It is not about perfectionism. Enjoy the moment. It is presence.
    ·         How much are you smiling? That is the indictator of success. It is not a sprint. It is a marathon.
    ·         Do it for the sake of doing it. Rediscover yourself. Be curious.
    ·         Let go the destination
     
     

  4. Invaluable investing advice
    Investing for Long Term Wealth / Complete Financial Freedom
    Hey, not sure if there are many people in here who are active investors, but thought it was worth a post anyway! 
    I'm only 20 and quite new to investing, my goals are to create long term financial freedom and generate long term wealth through investing. (I already have a business, hence looking to invest) 
    However, I don't really want to just invest in the S&P 500 or FTSE 100 as a lot of those companies are quite shitty, and not things I support. However, things like Vanguard LifeStrategy funds are extremely convenient annoyingly!
    I was wondering how you guys are investing to build long term wealth and grow your money, I'm lucky to be quite young and want to start taking advantage of Compound interest. I currently reinvest most of my excess money back into my business, but feel this year I will start to diversify where I invest my money. 
    Was wondering if anyone here has experience with Stock Market Investing, Real Estate Investing, Crypto, REITs, any Funds you recommend, ways to invest into new businesses start-ups etc, or any other form of investing you do (alternative methods such as eToro, Trading, Marijuana Stocks etc are always welcome) 
    Thought it would be good to start a negotiation on this, easy to neglect finances and business when you get into Enlightenment work and awakening, and while money will never make you happy, you certainly need it in today's society. 
    Also, not looking for political debates or economic model debates. Everyone knows there are clear flaws with capitalism, however, I'm more looking for a way to invest in businesses that are helping humanity, and ways to of course build wealth through investing. 
    As a little background, I got into the F.I.R.E movement a couple years ago (while I was at school lol) so know some basic terms such as Index Funds, Mutual Funds, and a little about Passive investing, active investing, but don't have great knowledge. 
    Very little knowledge on real estate, know a few people who have small rental property businesses, was also thinking Holiday homes could be a great investment with the growth of sites like Air BnB and how you can earn far more in terms of 'rent.' 
    Looking to learn and understand from current investors!

  5. Quantum mechanics & tripping
    Did I almost take it too far?
    @Trickyp  
    No offense I hope, but sure sounds like your tripping is way ahead of your foundation & mind, and it’s freaking you out & leaving you with too little. One can end up discouraged if one isn’t careful here.  I wouldn’t be looking to a matter of ‘surrender’, but expansion prior to another trip. Some suggestions of what you might brush up on if interested, in regards to the ‘walls’ you hit, and how it’d help, prior to a potential next trip...
    ”killed me physically”...Schrodinger’s cat & superposition, & the double slit. Expands the mind beyond the duality of consciousness & myself, and life & death. (Conceptually, but in preparation)
    “The brightest light”...Google “the tongue can’t taste itself” or “the finger can’t point to itself”, look for trip reports & see if anything resonates with your experience / brings clarity or real-I-zation. Also google optical illusions, holograms, holographic, etc. 
    “in front of my eyes in a chain reaction”...Videos on the absolute & relative perspectives. The Absolute is prior to the relative, but the mind must let go of the relative. 
    Meditation for detachment to arising thoughts specifically about dying & identity. 
    “Rematerialize into this world”...Youtube Abraham Hicks & vibrational being. Also John Hagelin’s S.A.N.D. presentations, specifically the grand unified field. 
    “The goals we want to achieve with this work”... I would do your best to let go of all beliefs in that. 
    Also, and I know ain’t nobody tryin to hear this...but I’d make a list what you could get honest & real with in your life, and about yourself. Youtube Abraham Hicks & assertion, until you’ve wrapped your head around it. Clear conscience = pretty smooth trips.
    Again, the intention & sentiment is getting way more out of your trips in a lasting manor. If this isn’t useful, no worries. 

  6. Self-deception explained
    Conspiracy theories and spiral dynamics
    Conspiracy theories are a form of imagination, yet I it’s difficult for me to imagine the appeal of conspiracy theories. Some minds get really immersed into conspiracy theory fantasy. For example, some people spend so much time and effort immersed into how the moon landing was staged. They create very elaborate and detailed stories. Yet to me, it has no appeal at all. Even movies that involve conspiracy theories are unappealing to me. The closest I could come would be “The Usual Suspects”, yet that wasn’t quite a conspiracy.
    In trying to imagine the appeal. . .from my observations:
    1) people that tend to get immersed into conspiracy theories generally have a strong distrust of “mainstream media” and government. I think it’s healthy to have some skepticism, yet conspiracy theorists are on the extreme end of the spectrum. 
    2) those immersed in conspiracy theories are unaware they are immersed in a conspiracy theory. They do not view it as a conspiracy theory, relative to them it is their true reality. They vehemently oppose the accusation they are involved in a conspiracy theory. Ironically, they often judge others as being a conspiracy theorist. For example “that guy who believes the moon landing was staged is a conspiracy theorist, but not me. Now lets talk about how China created the Coronavirus as biological warfare against the rest of the world. . . “. 
    3) those immersed in conspiracy theories often view themselves as “open minded”. Over and over, I see people engaged in conspiracy theories say “you aren’t open minded enough to consider another view”.
    4) those involved in conspiracy theories pride themselves in being a skeptic - in particular they identify as a skeptic of “mainstream media”, science and government - all of which they deeply mistrust. However, they are not able to distinguish between skepticism and being gullible. They have a tendency to accept whatever is counter to a “mainstream view”.
    5) they generally think in binary opposites: it is their theory vs anything not their theory. It’s all or nothing. They cannot see nuggets of truth mixed with nuggets of falsehoods. There are nearly always nuggets of truth in any conspiracy theory - the use these nuggets of truth for a foundation of building a construct of falsehoods and to defend their theory.
    6) They commonly make assumptions to ground themselves. Quite often they will say something like “I’m not saying this part happened for sure, yet what if. . . . “. Then that “what if” is assumed to be true and they continue on with the assumption that the “what if” is actually true.
    7) They are unaware of what speculation is. 
    8) They pride themselves in seeking “evidence”, yet they have very low standards of what counts as “evidence”. 
    9) They cannot see how multiple points of circumstantial evidence can be related together as much stronger evidence. This is one way they defend there views. Any single counter point can be defended against, yet they are unable to see consider how those dozens of counter-points together make their theory untenable. 
    10) They are immersed within content and cannot see a meta view of structure. 
    Overall, it’s difficult to place this on a SD hierarchy. I would say a common theme would be a lack of rational thinking skills, which would be a deficiency in stage Orange. To maintain the structure of their theory, they often have to twist themselves into a pretzel with elaborate irrational ideas - yet they can do this because they deeply distrust and “mainstream view”. 
    For example, when Lance Armstrong was winning the Tour de France eight years straight, there were a lot of accusations he was doping with PEDs. There were many accusations, yet Armstrong fans defended against each accusation individually. One can reasonably do that with one accusation, yet once you get into dozens of accusations (at their own personal detriment), you’ve got to twist yourself into a pretzel and create a conspiracy theory. . . . Several of Armstrong’s support crew (such as his masseuse and bike mechanic) stated they saw him with testosterone. Yet Armstrong fans discredited them as lying and having a resentment against Lance. They ended up losing their careers and even had to leave the country due to death threats. . . The media revealed that positive doping tests were hidden, yet Lance’s fans discredited this as “mainstream media” that hates Lance. A few of his competitors came out with evidence that Lance was doping, yet his fans discredited this as jealous of Lance’s success. Even Lance’s former teammates spoke about how Lance doped. His fans discredited this as resentful teammates that wanted to write a book and make money. The US FBI started investigating and his fans said this was a government conspiracy to take down Lance. His teammates testified under penalty of perjury that Lance and the entire team was doping. Yet his fans dismissed this as a corrupt FBI forcing their testimony. . . Overall, it was one giant conspiracy. If you look at any single point, a case could be made. For example, if it was just Lance’s mechanic who said Lance was doping, it’s reasonable to speculate the mechanic was resentful toward Lance. Yet the conspiracy theorists had to do this with hundreds of different people. They could make a reasonable argument against any one individual. Yet they couldn’t see how collectively it was unreasonable. Dozens of people were making huge personal sacrifices to testify against Lance and got no benefit. Their reputations were tarnished, they lost their careers, they were harassed and got death threats, they faced jail time if they didn’t testify and tell the truth. This included Lance’s support crew, his teammates, his competitors, investigative reporters, his friends, anti-doping officials and FBI agents. The conspiracy theorists believed all of them were lying (even at personal sacrifice). It is a twisted story. Yet there was a much simpler theory that conspiracy theorists couldn’t accept. This simple theory had only one person and one data point: Lance was a liar. 

  7. Job application
    How much of a numbers game is getting a regular job?
    Guys, I've been trying to get another job lately, but I've already been rejected by about 30 jobs that I applied to. I only got one part time job at Macy's which pays minimum wage. I was close to getting a job at Wells Fargo as a teller and a job at a really fancy hotel, but I got turned down by both of them after my interview for each of them. It's so frustrating and I feel very hopeless. How much of a numbers game is it? How much luck is really involved in finding a regular decent job?

  8. Connection of love & suffering
    An Experience of Infinite Universal Love. April 5th 2020
    On April 5th 2020 at around 11:00 PM I had an experience that changed the way I perceive life and an experience that I will remember for the rest of my life. I had a nondual experience unlike any other I’ve ever had before. It was an experience of Infinite Love, complete and total Infinite Love. Recently I have been thinking about and meditating on the areas of being, manifestation, suffering and love. In the days leading up to this experience I have had an increased feeling of calmness, freedom and intense mindfulness. Despite the external appearances of my personal life currently as well as the current affairs of the world right now I feel more free and calm than I ever have in my life. It all feels quite ineffable.
    On this particular night I could feel the intensity and depth of the mindfulness I was experiencing. It was a depth, calmness and present moment awareness that I have noticed always precedes my past spontaneous nondual experiences. At the time I was listening to my favorite ambient song and taking in the profound beauty of it. While I was mindfully listening something happened. In an instant everything in my experience of reality just collapsed down into a singularity the experience of perceiving time ceased and I was overwhelmed by a massive torrent of Nondual Universal Love. I began crying and this crying quickly grew to sobbing as my perception expanded almost instantaneously into everything in all of existence. I was everything that ever was, is and will be. I was all of it. However there was no experience of I the self was obliterated the moment this infinite love overwhelmed my being. I have had several nondual and psychedelic experiences on my journey thus far but this time there was an incomprehensibly large flood of ultimate Universal Love like a transdimensional dam had burst and a flood of love from the totality of all existence itself completely engulfed my being. This Love was so much, so powerful that human language entirely and completely fails to describe the absolutely profound level and depth it had.
    I immediately knew that existence is Love. I saw the ever present nondual beauty of everything from this state of overwhelming Love. I felt so much love flowing through my being that I felt was melting. Everything that constituted any sense of separation was melting. All I could do in the presence of this Infinite Love was cry in its infinite beauty. Tears of sheer joy and love streamed down my face as I had never felt love so intensely before. I could feel this energetically affecting my physical body on multiple levels, subatomic, atomic, molecular and so on. The feeling of melting away from the intensity of infinite love was ever present. More and more all forms of individuation were melting away. It was as if the Infinite Love of all of creation was a red hypergiant star and that my individuated ego and body instantly melted into disintegration when coming even into contact with this profound absolute Love. It was the most profound thing I have ever experienced in my life. Out of all of the nondual and psychedelic experiences that I have had I’ve never felt such profound Love like this. As I was totally enraptured by this experience I felt the love that a mother feels for her newborn child, the love that the earth has for all of the lifeforms on it, the love of the fabric of existence itself. I felt love that I would instantly sacrifice my physical life for and even beyond that. Love beyond what I thought was ever possible and still that love bloomed and became even more intense. It was an infinite absolutely unconditional love for everything; for all beings, for all phenomena in existence.
    As I looked at the room around me I noticed the objects around and I was one with everything. I was on an existential level no different from the bed, the walls, the clothes, the air in the room, the carpet, the dirt on the carpet, the computer. In the binding unity of love I was everything in all of existence without exception. I picked up one of my shirts nearby and folded it up and I held it and hugged it as if it was a baby. As if it was my baby, my child because really all of existence is just that. I felt and exuded this love more intensely than I can put into words. There was a pillow nearby and I picked it up as well and I held it with all of the Love that I could muster. And still the perceiver of the experience was totally melting in contact with this infinite and profound love.
    The intensity of the experience got to the point where I felt that my body began vibrating. And I felt this very strange and intense feeling of vibration specifically from my heart area. This strange pulsating vibration branched out from my heart across my entire chest, neck, shoulders, my upper abdominal area and upper back. This pulsating vibration was so strange to feel going through my body. With every breath this pulsating vibration expanded more and more through my body. The intensity of this Love was so great that I didn’t know how I could possibly take anymore, however it continued to expand and even further more engulf me even though there was no me left. As this continued there was the overwhelming feeling of gratitude and reverence that arose as well. I totally embraced obliteration by love and totally gave into the massive tsunami of universal love. The feeling of reverence was too much for words. Tears continued to stream down my face. The pulsating vibrations I felt in my body became even more intense as I placed my hands on my heart I just wanted to open my chest and blast out Love everywhere infinitely. I am not too knowledgeable on the chakra system about how energy flows through it but I feel that that in this experience I had a powerful heart chakra opening. With each heartbeat and each breath I felt my entire being vibrate and reverberate with Love. There is just pure Love.
    I came into a state of awe for the enormous love which always emanates through the totality. I just began to say, “wow”, over and over again. Followed by; “this is too much”, over and over again. The level of love that existence is and has for all incarnations is so profound that I don’t think we’ll ever have a way of describing it. You just have to directly experience it to know. As I was fully embraced by the infinite Love of existence I grabbed a blanket and I just wept uncontrollably into it. This went on for what felt like a while. I wept into it from the existential bliss, the existential joy and the sheer incomprehensible amount of love that I was experiencing. And I realized that the substance of existence is Love; that without love that nothing and I mean nothing could exist. Nothing could exist without love. You and I are love. We are love incarnate. We are a love that is so profound that when we know ourselves it’s the most amazing and beautiful thing that you could experience.
    The peak of this experience lasted for about an hour. For the rest of the night through sleep and into the next day I was in the afterglow of experiencing the profound infinity of love that constitutes all of existence. I had the realization that everything we beings do in life without exception, we do for love in one way or another and it is expressed in a spectrum of countless ways. This is the first time in life that I have experienced the Love of reality as it actually is; pure nondual infinite Love beyond the illusion of individuated ego experience. Love that will obliterate you because it’s just so much, Love that will break you down and make you cry, make you sob intensely.
    A part of my being is fully awake now. I feel energetically different than before that experience. I feel energetically different now, as if I am a different person from before this experience. Experiencing that level of Love permeates every aspect of our being and our experience.
    One realization I had was that my entire life up until this experience I thought that suffering was bad. Now I know what suffering is. Suffering is what happens when we knowingly or unknowingly turn away from Love. Because a person who truly understands Love, a person who truly loves themselves would never turn away from Love whether it be the Love of existence itself, the Love of another being, or Love of themselves. The only reason truly that we suffer individually and collectively is turning away from Love, that’s it. And that can breed many other things as a result but fundamentally it’s very simple. If you turn away from Love you turn away from what you truly are and when you turn away from what you truly are you’re out of alignment with the loving flow of the totality of existence and when you’re out of alignment with the loving flow of existence itself; it is so painful. That is when our experience becomes suffering. And we don’t have to suffer. What would serve us best in this life is to constantly and consistently choose Love at every second of every day. Forever. To choose whatever is the highest expression of love. And bask in its radiance and live in this place for our entire time of incarnation.
    I felt true freedom in this experience. True freedom. Love is the substance of existence. Love is what you are. There is never ever anything to fear. There is never ever anything to fear. There is never ever anything to be afraid of. Just Love. Just be Love. Just choose Love every single time. Because that is what existence is built upon. That is what existence is. It only hurts when you turn away from love. But if you dive completely into love and totally melt into that experience of being love you will truly know and experience what you are, what the universe is, what God is and that will change every aspect of how you look at life, on the deepest level in every way and thusly change your experience of being forever. I Love you, whoever you are, for we are One.
    I want to thank @fridakaia for helping me so much to truly understand what Love is. She is a beautiful and profound being and a lightworker. I also want to thank @Consilience for encouraging me to dive more deeply into Love on my journey.  

  9. Moving from THOUGHT to FEELING
    Help!!! I cannot quit porn
    It’s just about one thought. That’s it. Letting one thought go. We’re only ever working with one thought. The one thought arising right now. Regardless of it’s content or implication, Regardless of where it is on the script, or what it implies about the movie - it is one single thought, now. That’s the entirety of human thinking. One thought, now.  No size, no shape, no levels, no form or properties at all. Just an impartial micro-essence that comes & goes. Seems to anyways.
    It’s funny to imagine God saying just one single thought at a time, there’s no way that could get out of hand.  And it’s like giving a kid a flint pebble and he burns half the city down. 
    Letting one thought go, we’re liberated of reaction to it, free to put attention on a thought that feels good, one about what we want. Feeling always delivers. What feels good to you + your attention on it naturally leads to more. Somethin’s gonna happen next anyways, mind as well be conscious of it.  Also feel free to let thought go all together, and just be, eventually these are known as one in the same.
    The wind doesn’t require a blower, choice doesn’t require a chooser, ‘doing’ doesn’t require a doer. Reality is unconditional in regards to creation, and yet there is a source. All we see are parts, yet we don’t see any parts, ever. Use feeling & awareness  to feel each thought. Apply the source, to the thoughts, and the extraordinary is revealed in perception (and of course feeling). Nothing is needed of you for that, nor do you need anything for that. Let go of one thought 24/7, stomach breathing is great too. It’s inherently a conscious body scan. 
    In the momentum of letting one thought go, new thought arises with more connection to feeling, like intuition. With more letting one thought go, new ways of seeing arise with perception. 
     
    Changing a pattern, or the thought choice pattern, little by little is one way to become conscious of a habit. Then it’s no longer a habit. Arguably preferable if the habit has been made into a mountain, if there is already moment of thought-marriage. Some rip the band aid off, and some peel it slow, both converge at consciousness. 
    There is no process towards a want. The end result is being used as a condition to happiness while on the journey.
    Nothing needs to be done. Want is automatically felt, derived from unwanted, from experience. We are creation, experiencing, creating, expanding. You’d have to admit, the playground of choice is vast. Preferences naturally arise. There’s so much to create.
    To wait to let go, is to unconsciously create - the experience of waiting. ??
    Precisely when one entertains they’re  ‘unconsciousness’, there is the realization of consciousness. 
    There isn’t an object which is absolutely a certain way. What it is is what you’re thought, perception & feeling is allowing. 

  10. Self-Development
    Leo's Practical Guide To Enlightenment
    I noticed something. I just want to break this down to 2 basic things to make it easier for us to understand. It's just a pratical guide/map. It's something to browse over as we go along on our journey. You may add to this if you wish.
    So...
    #1. There is the actual "experience of the no-self."
    #2. One does not need to have an actual "experience of the no-self" to understand the following basic list to help in the journey to become "fully enlightened"(Eg. Like the Cloth Bag Monk). However, it does help to have an "experience of the no-self (Riding the Ox Backwards)" to refer to because it makes it much easier to understand. 
     
    25 Basic Ways to Get Rid of the Toxic / Fictional Ego
    1. Adopt the beginner’s mindset. It is impossible to learn that which one thinks one already knows. When we let ego tell us that we have arrived and figured it all out, it prevents us from learning. Remind yourself how much you don’t know.
    2. Focus on the effort—not the outcome. With any creative endeavour at some point what we made leaves our hands. We can’t let what happens after that point have any sway over us. Doing your best is what matters. Focus on that. External rewards are just extra.
    3. Choose purpose over passion. Passion runs hot and burns out, while people with purpose—think of it as passion combined with reason—are more dedicated and have control over their direction. Christopher McCandless was passionate when he went “into the wild” but it didn’t work well, right? The inventor of the Segway was passionate. Better to have clear-headed purpose.
    4. Shun the comfort of talking and face the work. We talk endlessly on social media getting validation and attention with fake internet points avoiding the uncertainty of doing the difficult and frightening work required of any creative endeavour. As creatives we need to shut up and get to work. To face the void—despite the pain of doing so.
    5. Kill your pride before you lose your head. You cannot let early pride lead you astray. You must remind yourself everyday how much work is left to be done, not how much you have done. You must remember that humility is the antidote to pride.
    6. Stop telling yourself a story—there is no grand narrative. When you achieve any sort of success you might think that success in the future is just the natural and expected next part of the story. This is a straightforward path to failure—by getting too cocky and overconfident. 
    7. Learn to manage (yourself and others) John DeLorean was a brilliant engineer but a poor manager (of people and himself). One executive described his management style as “chasing colored balloons”—he was constantly distracted and abandoning one project for another. It’s just not enough to be smart or right or a genius. It’s gratifying to be the micromanaging egotistical boss at the center of everything—but that’s not how organizations grow and succeed. That’s not how you can grow as a person either.
    8. Know what matters to you and ruthlessly say no to everything else. Pursue what the philosopher Seneca refers to as euthymia—the tranquility of knowing what you are after and not being distracted by others. We accomplish this by having an honest conversation with ourselves and understanding our priorities. And rejecting all the rest. Learning how to say no. First, by saying no to ego which wants it all.
    9. Forget credit and recognition. When we are starting out in our pursuits we need to make an effort to trade short-term gratification for a long-term payoff. Look at the people who are already successful and learn and absorb everything you can from them. Forget credit.
    10. Connect with nature and the universe at large. Going into nature is a powerful feeling and we need to tap into it as often as possible. Nothing draws us away from it more than material success. Go out there and reconnect with the world. Realize how small you are in relation to everything else. It’s what the French philosopher Pierre Hadot has referred to as the “oceanic feeling.” There is no ego standing beneath the giant redwoods or on the edge of a cliff or next to the crashing waves of the ocean.
    11. Choose alive time over dead time. According to author Robert Greene, there are two types of time in our lives: dead time, when people are passive and waiting, and alive time, when people are learning and acting and utilizing every second. During failure, ego picks dead time. It fights back: I don’t want this. I want ______. I want it my way. It indulges in being angry, aggrieved, heartbroken. Don’t let it—choose alive time instead.
    12. Get out of your own head. Writer Anne Lamott knows the dangers of the soundtrack we can play in our heads: “The endless stream of self-aggrandizement, the recitation of one’s specialness, of how much more open and gifted and brilliant and knowing and misunderstood and humble one is.” That’s what you could be hearing right now. Cut through that haze with courage and live with the tangible and real, no matter how uncomfortable.
    13. Let go of control. The poisonous need to control everything and micromanage is usually revealed with success. Ego starts saying: it all must be done my way—even little things, even inconsequential things. The solution is straightforward. A smart man or woman must regularly remind themselves of the limits of their power and reach. It’s simple, but not easy.
    14. Place the mission and purpose above you. The act of selflessness we need to remind ourselves of.
    15. When you find yourself in a hole—stop digging. Our ego screams and rattles when it is wounded. We will then do anything to get out of trouble. Stop. Don’t make things worse. Don’t dig yourself further. Make a plan.
    16. Don’t be deceived by recognition, money and success—stay sober. Success, money and power can intoxicate. Leave self-absorption and obsessing over one’s image for the egotists.
    17. Leave your entitlement at the door. Right before he destroyed his own billion-dollar company, Ty Warner, creator of Beanie Babies, overrode the objections of one of his employees and bragged, “I could put the Ty heart on manure and they’d buy it!” You can see how this manifestation of ego can lead you to success—and how it can lead to downright failure.
    18. Choose love. Hate. Don’t let it eat at you—choose love. Yes, love (without the ego).
    19. Pursue mastery in your chosen craft. 
    20. Keep an inner scorecard. Just because you won doesn’t mean you deserved to. We need to forget other people’s validation and external markers of success. Warren Buffett has advised keeping an inner scorecard versus the external one. Your potential, the absolute best you’re capable of—that’s the metric to measure yourself against.
    21. Paranoia creates things to be paranoid about. “He who indulges empty fears earns himself real fears,” wrote Seneca, who as a political adviser witnessed destructive paranoia at the highest levels. If you let ego think that everyone is out to get you you will seem weak…and then people will really try to take advantage of you. Be strong, confident and forgiving.
    22. Always stay a student. Put yourself in rooms where you’re the least knowledgeable person. Observe and learn. That uncomfortable feeling, that defensiveness that you feel when your most deeply held assumptions are challenged? Do it deliberately. Let it humble you. Remember how the physicist John Wheeler put it, “As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance.”
    23. No one can degrade you—they degrade themselves. Ego is sensitive about slights, insults and not getting their due. This is a waste of time. 
    24. Stop playing the image game—focus on a higher purpose. To be or to do? Which way will you go? That is, will you choose to fall in love with the image of how success looks like or you focus on a higher purpose? Will you pick obsessing over your title, number of fans, size of paycheck or on real, tangible accomplishment? You know which way ego wants to go.
    25. Focus on the effort—not the results. This is so important it is appearing twice. If you can accept that you control only the effort that goes in and not the results which come out, you will be mastering your ego. All work leaves our hands at some point. Ego wants to control everything—but it cannot control other people or their reactions. Focus on your end of the equation, leave them to theirs. 
    (Source)

  11. Enlightenment through drowning
    【The Drowning Baptism】║Methods║
    The Drowning Baptism
    If your baptism isn't altering your state of conciousness, it's not a true baptism. A true baptism alters perception.
    Introduction
    Hey guys, 
    I'm going to be sharing with you a method for christ-like conciousness.
    I have done this method on someone and they reported a breakthrough also.
    This method is very direct and requires that you have a foundation of actuality training.
    Meditation Prior
    I would also reccomends to do pre-meditation before doing this method. Meditation should be geared towards focusing on Actuality. 
    Actuality Meditation 
    The Method
    The method is relatively simple, you need to fill a bath with water. 
    Sit-upright in the bath with enough room to lay-back.
    As you lay-back into the bathtub, breathe as normal (don't hold your breathe), keeping your eyes open.
    Focus totally on Actuality. Look directly at what's in your field of perception, whilst under the water.
    Your body will have an urge to spring out of the water. You need to let-go of this compulsion and relax.
    As you relax, you will observe your body naturally begin to drown. 
    You need to trust that your body will save you, without your concious effort.
    As your body naturally pulls itself out the bathtub you should have a breakthrough in perception.
    If you force yourself to come out, it will not work.
    Have the lights on in the bathroom also, and look at your ✋ when you come up.
    This process isn't just drowning yourself, you need to be able to focus on Actuality, to have the breakthrough.
    My Theory
    It's almost like the drowning creates an urgency. And since your urgency is to focus on Actuality, you focus absolutely on it. I believe the drowning stops thought proccess, allowing you to enter into thoughtless awareness, similar how yoga gets you to do breathing methods that stop thoughts.
    The brain may also be tricked into thinking it's dying and it releases DMT.
    Researchers
    I haven't seen many people talk about this, but it would be good for people to find resources. It would also be good to have people try the methods themselves and see who has breakthroughs from this method and who doesn't.
    If you have any questions I'm more than happy to answer them.

    WARNING: All advice provided without warranty! Some of the advice provided here could be dangerous to your psychological or physical well-being. By using this forum you agree to take 100% responsibility for which advice you follow, and you agree to waive any legal recourse against Actualized LLC, Leo Gura, or Actualized staff & Mods.

  12. Self-Development
    A New Approach - Action Steps from Notes.
    I've been watching videos from the beginning. I am skipping videos not relevant to me.  And taking notes. I'm keeping the content aside on Onenote, and picking out action steps from each video, if any. 
    Here it is so far: 
    1. You're not taking action. Track a trail of action before you complain of it not working out for you.

    2. Use the Sedona Method to eliminate Resistance.
         Step 1 : Feel the Resistance, don't think about it
         Step 2: Could I let this feeling go?
         Step 3: Would I like to let go of this feeling
         Step 4: When can I let go?
         Step 5: Repeat the cycle at least 4 times before you judge it for not working.

    3. There will be plateaus whilst you try to progress. Expect it. Be consistent on something as simple as practice when trying to master something. Repetition of an action will drill it into the subconscious mind.
    4. Failure will give you valuable reference experiences (A causal relation between action and result), also you want to be experimenting and figuring out how things would not work.
    5. Be driven by your vision, not by your problems. Counterintuitively when you try to avoid something because it causes you discomfort, that will lead to you being unfulfilled as compared to when you are driven by vision and you're excited so you discount the discomfort and pain.
    6. Don't expect constant climax. If you overstimulate yourself, you lose the sensitivity to life, and fail to appreciate the subtle richness of it all.
    7. Multitasking will make you miserable. Work in block time (60-90) minutes followed by a 10-15 min break. Focus on one thing at a time. 
    8.  Everyday you will face a choice between comfort vs growth. Choose growth over comfort. You have to be willing to fail, accept some risk and go out there and do stuff. Otherwise you are going to be a bird in a cage, and you will not want to get out even if the cage is open.

  13. Letting go in relationships
    The importance of letting go in a relationship
    Due to some deep healing and grief process I have been experiencing, I felt inspired to share something very important about relationships. The importance of letting go.

    Letting go in a relationship is an act of love and surrender, that counter-intuitively can be done only with the intention of commitment.
    Letting go in a relationship promotes commitment for the reason that the only thing you can ever let go of, are your expectations of your partner. If we are committed without letting go we are insisting on our partner to be the way we want them to be, which is a role that they cannot fulfill as the only thing they can authentically do is to be themselves. Similarly, if the notion of letting go is divorced from personal commitment, it will be only an act of avoidance and denial dressed up as an insight - as if we were saying 'I am letting go.', while masking the true intention and sending a message to a partner saying 'You are too much for me.'

    Letting go, when done properly, can either lead to intimacy and interpersonal connection that is beyond any manufactured roles we play in relationships, as well as to an ending of the relationship, if that is the barrier that is blocking the emotional freedom of both partners. There cannot be true intimate commitment without the willingness to follow through with the possible ending of a relationship. That is for the reason that when you are committed, the relationship isn't actually what is the goal of your commitment. The goal of your commitment is the well-being of both partners, be it in a relationship or outside of the relationship. Every time you let go, there is an ending of the old roles, and the entering of the new. You can never know whether the new will include a relationship between the two or not, and in fact it will always feel like you are saying goodbye for good. That is why letting go is a beautiful act of faith and courage.

    The words that describe the beauty of letting go can be said in a mantra I love you, and that is why I am letting you go. I love you is the declaration of the commitment to the wellbeing of your partner, and the letting go is the refusal to force them into a mold of an old role that was manufactured by your own ideas of what you want your partner to be.

    And we all do this.
    We all want our partner to be a certain way. We manufacture a character when we are growing up, based on all the unfulfilled emotional needs we experience growing up, we imagine (consciously or subconsciously), what we want our partner to be. In this way, we are more looking for a new parent, rather than an equal partner. We imagine what they are going to do, how they are going to make us feel, what they will never do to us, and how deeply understood we will feel by them. While there is ultimately not much wrong with such a fantasy, we are bound to experience partners that will disappoint this imagined ideal of a relationship just so we can experience the beauty of letting go and feel the true depth of a conscious inter-dependent relationship, that starts within us. Yes, letting go may lead to an ending, but the relationship within your heart will only grow stronger, with more love, more compassion and more fulfillment than any fantasy-partner could have ever convinced you of having. 

  14. Quantum mechanics: resource
    The Godhood of God - You are not Him
    @Highest
    I believe if you spend some time on YouTube... ‘superposition’ & ‘Schodinger’s cat’ for example...something will click into place.  Maybe ‘quantum entanglement’ & ‘quantum erasure’ too.  
    Then maybe a contemplation....
    ‘ There is no objective reality. ‘
    And similar to the expecting an ‘answer’ of self inquiry...
    ’ how is this being done? How is “objective reality” being “pulled off” ‘.

  15. LP example
    I found my Life Purpose. Period.
    Today, I made a huge leap in @Leo Gura's course. The final sentence is: to discover dimensions of reality. Recontextualized, to explore the 'w' axis in an 'xyz' world. I've still got the parts Making it real (and further) in front of me. Here is my story.
    I've been through a rabbit hole of ideas; from politics to teaching as Leo does (I even cried at that one). But now, all has been stripped down and feels empty. Only one purpose prevails - the one I present to you. It came to me spontaneously, though I CARVED the same purpose into my notepad in a session long forgotten: 

    It is worth noting that the part 'share insights and help people attain enlightenment' was written after the experience calmed down and I no longer hold it as meaningful. Also, what the hell? Why is there an Uncharted 4 image? Well, when I made the connection today and actually remembered the experience, I came to a great awakening: I remember then being furiously in love with the LP statement. I HAD to scratch it onto paper. I couldn't forget. But I did, lol. Why Uncharted 4? During the session, thoughts melted into molten hot iron and I swallowed them deep. There was no longer a difference between matter and imagination: the video game itself is where I was. Shows you the power of these techniques.
    Next, a few of my results from the course:
    My top strengths are: 1) Creativity, ingenuity, originality, 2) Bravery and valor. My top values are: 1) Freedom, 2) Connection and love, 3) Adventure. What do I love to do so much that I can do it for long stretches of time without getting tired or bored? Expeditions into the "Great Unknown." Here, I knew my life purpose already. But it was time for making it pragmatic so it fits today's criteria. My Area of Mastery is big picture thinking into the future. Long-term planning. My higher consciousness virtue is Truth. much more... I have still yet to discover on how to make this 'floating in space' hermit-ish Life Purpose practical. I must turn it somehow into business, otherwise I will starve out and die. Which is what I want, but ya know... not like that. Or do I? It doesn't need to make seven figures. I just want a place to live, an income, and a whole lot of time for my journeys through existence. This includes lucid dreaming, astral projection, psychedelics, holotropic breathing, kriya yoga and so on. I have one year of high school left (IT and Programming), though my imagination skills have increased massively. The techniques are longer and more vivid. I get lost on all sorts of adventures. I do realize it is not pragmatic for this place called Earth, yet there is undeniably an undescribable amount of realms to discover beyond the borders and my heart craves for it. How else to put it into words? How?
    That's where I stand. I can't belive I actually found it. I actually did. It was there all along.
    Should you have any recommendations on how to make this real, I note: I will have the opportunity to address a community of mine of 50k-100k people in the Digital Art & Fantasy industry. There is an opening window to create a viable product. Other than that, feel free to answer impartially and take care.

  16. Rooting for core beliefs
    Core beliefs exercise (shifting negative belief patterns)
    This is a simple exercise Teal Swan shares on how to chase down core beliefs to deal with problems in our life. 
    The goal is to chase down the root thought we hold in relation to the problems we see in our life so we can potentially change the core beliefs that cause us to be a vibrational match to these problems. The core belief will usually be a reflection of these problems. For example, the core belief, I am worthless, will attract people, circumstances and events that match this vibrational frequency. Once we have this root thought, we can start questioning this belief.
     
    Pick a statement or judgement you have about someone or something that doesn't feel good and write it down
    Now alternate between these two questions until you get to the root thought/belief
    What does it mean to me?
    or
     Assuming that it's true, why is it bad? 
     
    example: Statement/judgement: My friend is annoying because she never stops talking
         
         What does it mean to me? It means she always has to say what's on her mind 
              Assuming this is true why is it bad? well this is bad because people will think she sounds really dumb sometimes 
         What does that mean to me?  If i say everything on my mind people will judge me and think I am dumb
              Assuming this is true why is it bad? Because if people think i am dumb they may not think i am cool
         What does this mean to me? People should care what others think of them/I need to care what people think of me (core belief) -
    Turned around- people need to care what I think of them / people need to care what I think of me /I don’t need to care what people think of me / people don’t need to care what I think of them /I need to care what I think of people 
     
    My judgement of her is my problem. In what areas of my life does this impact me?
    This core belief also reveals I must act a certain way to be loved or accepted. Can i absolutely know that this is true? No.
    (try it out on your own by writing something down) 
     

  17. 12 suggestions for life an antidote to spiritual bullshiting
    12 Suggestions for Life - An Antidote to Spiritual Bull****ting
    About 6 years ago, I came across Leo & Actualized.org. This bald guy and his kinda small youtube-channel, just love at first sight I guess. Little did I know that this scrawny man in his black T-shirt will change the way I looked at things forever. Was it first for those self development content he put out, he later took me on the ride into this beautiful abyss called spirituality. He fed me the red pill. What this means in particular does not really matter. All that matters is what I learned about this community, enlightenment itself and the ridiculous tumors it sometimes gives birth to. It seems to me, that the spiritual journey, is the purest of all hero journeys. What that means though, is that at the end, only a few courageous warriors will gain the real treasure, whilst well over 90% get lost in the swamps and come out worse than they got in. Sounds pessimistic? Well, maybe it does. But I have seen so much bullshit and so little real advice in this community, its not even funny anymore. Most spiritual masters/people lack nuance on every level. Leo, is definitely one of the better ones and thats why I decided to put this here. 
    So who am I to say such brave things? Who am I to dare to question the advice of the enlightened ones?  It doesn't really matter. Take the message, ignore the messenger. This is what I wanted to hear when I was stuck. If you can look at things just the way they are, you will come to the same conclusions. Some of you will hate what I have to say, others will like it. This is not about the denial of absolute truth or any other spiritual axiom that is known the be true since millennia. This is about the advice I see popping up basically everywhere in this community, presented in the typical blind leading the blind fashion.

    Because of all that, I decided to put something out. Something that counteracts so much of the nonsense I read on this boards everyday. This is it.
    Inspired by Jamie Wheal, Ken Wilber, and many others, including my experiences/insights in the last 6 years, here are 12 suggestions for life, an antidote to spiritual bullshitting. If you are a new or intermediate seeker, I highly suggest you to take a hard look at those. Please note that I deliberately used the word "suggestion" instead of "rule". Many points are comming from a highly nuanced perspective and not from any absolute standpoint. You might have an allergic reaction to some things mentioned, and thats perfectly fine. Dont be dumb, think a bit. Thanks!


    1) Do the obvious
    Take all the "biohacking" and "personal optimization" off the table. We literally do so much crazy shit to "enhance our life", yet we most often forget to do the basic stuff. This is the bottom of the pyramid. If you dont have these one in order, your lifes quality will drastically suffer. We tend to forget that taking care of our meatsuit is a crucial basic fundament for any possible growth. So fuck your crossfit, fuck your perfectly balanced diet, fuck your bulletproof-bullshit or Ben Greenfield idiocracy - KEEP IT SIMPLE. DO THE BASICS. 

    -Sleep deeply 
    -Move often
    -Get outside (sunshine/water/trees/fresh air)
    -Eat real food ("mostly plants, not too much"- Michael Pollan)
    -Bathe regularly (Daily hygiene is a no-brainer - this is more about hot/cold - sauna/icebath. 
    -Make and play music
    -BREATHE (Our life is only as good as our breathing! This is so often dismissed and not really talked about, yet so crucial.)
    -Grieve FULLY (weep, dont whimper!!)
    -Make love 
    -Have meaningful human relationships
    -Be grateful

    2) Dont do stupid shit
    We have unprecedented access to the world's most potent ecstatic technologies. They always used to be tightly controlled and connected with strict rituals & rules, yet it seems like that our narcissistic, dumb western culture is about to fuck it up for the rest of us. It really grinds my gear when I see people smoke 5-MeO-DMT at a psytrance-festival. How dumb can you be? Use those tools in a respectful and appropriate manner. Dont chase for the highs and the next ecstasy. Integrate what you have learned and keep your hands away from it for some time. This is why discipline is such an important thing in your spiritual journey. 

    Dont end up in a: Cult, Body Bag, Jail Cell, Rehab or Looney Bin! 

    3) Let the mystery stay the mystery
    Dont presume to map the infinite.
    If you every checked the accounts of the deepest mystic you will recognize really fast that NONE OF THEM MATCH UP! The reason for that is beacuse every attept is mediated by humans and the prisonhouse of language. Let the mysery stay the mystery. Share your perspective but realize that its just a perspective, not more, not less. When you think you have the answer, you stop seeking - Instead, plant a garden where mystery and strange plants bloom. 
    4) Fuck your journey
    "Love Keeps No Record of Wrong" - St. Paul

    Whatever gets us to the Deep Now is both redeemed as an essential part of our path and utterly irrelavant campared to the exquisite quality of the Moment we are blessed to share. Show us how much you have grown, but please, dear God, stop telling us! Stop being a epiphanywhore. 

    5) Do the hard thing
    "If you have got to eat two frogs in a day, eat the ugliest one first" - Mark Twain

    We all kinda know what we have to do, but we usually dont do it. Do the hard thing and rest of life becomes easier! 
    Do what inherently scares you! Ask that girl out, create that business, go to that vipassana retreat, take that psychodelic (CAVE: see suggestion 2)
    Stoicism is a great framework for helping with that kind of issue. 
     

    BTW: Can anyone make a petition to bring the old Leo thumbnails back?

    6) Never lose the One
    You can go anywhere you want, and think anything you want, as long as you can reverse your steps and make it back to the last known point of consensus reality - the One. So get funky, tweak it out, freak freely, but be sure to stick the landing. This is such an important point, yet so rarely mentioned. I have seen people getting lost in the spiritual domain, never to be found again. Always put down your string when you enter the labyrinth. 

    7) Its not that either
    No matter how dazzling your latest breakthrough, "download" or insight, its still only a piece of the puzzle.
    It may be lowercase "t" true, but the second you assert it's uppercase Capital "T" TRUE, it's become false, just by overstating the claim.
    You can no more become fully enlightened than you can become fully educated. Take the insights for what/all that they are and KEEP going! 

    If you have found the answer, you didnt. 

    8) Dont build on a weak fundament
    Honestly, if you are at a low point in your life, then this is not the the right time to start a spiritual path. Its not. Everyone who says so and doesn't tell you about the dangers/difficulties that come with going on this journey is lying to you or has no real knowledge about it. Its basically sending a soldier who suffers from PTSD back into the war zone. Dont listen to anyone that who tells you otherwise. Most often you don't really know what your psyche can bare and what will trigger a heavy psychosis. If you are in a deep depression right now or have any other psychological/physiological difficulties, give yourself at least 5 years to fix them. It doesnt mean that you cant use tools out of the high conciousness toolbox. Psychodelics, after all, are propably the best thing to battle depression with, right now (in the right setting of course). Just be careful and take care of your needs. Take Maslows hierachy of needs as orientation. Maybe your lack of sexual intercourse is going to bite you in the ass later, you never know. Build on a strong fundament and you will be far more likely to succeed. This is so freaking important, yet talked about so rarely. 

    9) Be from this world,, but not of it
    Do you live in unity with everything? Maybe after some DMT or heroic dose of mushrooms - but not now.
    Life can be difficult and cruel. No conceptual philosophizing about how "good and evil" don't really exist will help you with that (Even though its valid from an absolute perspctive). You cant talk yourself out of a depressive episode. If your best friends dies, you will be fucking sad. Yes, this is a movie and you are the thing, that light and the projector itself. But as long as you just know this on a conceptional level, with a glimpse of "being" the projector light here and there, it wont change much. Its true for almost all people who will read this: You will remain in a relative world for 99,999% of your time. So yes, improve your consciousness. Take the psychodelics. Meditate. Do some weird astral projection shit. But don't forget that there are situations where you act from absolute and other where a relative perspective is the way to go. Its a paradox, understand and embrace it.

    10) Wake up, grow up, show up

    SHOW- UP:
    "Barefooted and naked of breast,
    I mingle with the people of the world.
    My clothes are ragged and dust-laden,
    and I am ever blissful.
    I use no magic to extend my life;
    Now, before me, the dead trees
    become alive." - 10th Ox Herding picture



    11) Play
    Go out there and play this game. Its all about the game.
    Use spirituality to enhance the experience. Become the player, not the character.
    Dont let anybody tell you what "low conciousness thing" you better shouldnt do.

    Experience life fully & conciously. 

    Follow your desires but realise them for what they are. 

    12) "Above All, Be Kind"
    Dying words of Aldous Huxley, famed philosopher and man of letters, while holdind the hands of his soul mate Laura (under influence of 200 mcg of Sandoz LSD 25). If its good enough for Aldous, its good enough for us. After all, if we skip this part, does any of the rest really matter?

    Love,
    undeather

    PS: 
    Thanks again Jamie Wheal for your amazing teachings (Some points directly taken from him)
    https://www.flowgenomeproject.com/

    Thanks Rebel wisdom for giving that guy a platform
    https://www.rebelwisdom.co.uk/
     

  18. Maslow's pyramid: Transcendence
    Maslow's Enlightenment: Transcendence after Self Actualization
    Excerpts from “Theory Z”
    (from Abraham Maslow's : The Farther Reaches of Human Nature)
     
    1. For transcenders, peak experiences and plateau experiences become the most important things in their lives….
    2. They speak more easily, normally, naturally, and unconsciously the language of Being (B-language), the language of poets, of mystics, of seers, of profoundly religious men…
    3. They perceive unitively or sacrally (i.e., the sacred within the secular), or they see the sacredness in all things at the same time that they also see them at the practical, everyday D-level …
    4. They are much more consciously and deliberately metamotivated. That is, the values of Being…, e.g., perfection, truth, beauty, goodness, unity, dichotomy-transcendence … are their main or most important motivations.
    5. They seem somehow to recognize each other, and to come to almost instant intimacy and mutual understanding even upon first meeting…
    6. They are more responsive to beauty. This may turn out to be rather a tendency to beautify all things… or to have aesthetic responses more easily than other people do…
    7. They are more holistic about the world than are the “healthy” or practical self-actualizers… and such concepts as the “national interest” or “the religion of my fathers” or “different grades of people or of IQ” either cease to exist or are easily transcended…
    8. [There is] a strengthening of the self-actualizer’s natural tendency to synergy—intrapsychic, interpersonal, intraculturally and internationally…. It is a transcendence of competitiveness, of zero-sum of win-lose gamesmanship.
    9. Of course there is more and easier transcendence of the ego, the Self, the identity.
    10. Not only are such people lovable as are all of the most self-actualizing people, but they are also more awe-inspiring, more “unearthly,” more godlike, more “saintly”…, more easily revered…
    11. … The transcenders are far more apt to be innovators, discoverers of the new, than are the healthy self-actualizers… Transcendent experiences and illuminations bring clearer vision … of the ideal …of what ought to be, what actually could be, … and therefore of what might be brought to pass.
    12. I have a vague impression that the transcenders are less “happy” than the healthy ones. They can be more ecstatic, more rapturous, and experience greater heights of “happiness” (a too weak word) than the happy and healthy ones. But I sometimes get the impression that they are as prone and maybe more prone to a kind of cosmic sadness … over the stupidity of people, their self-defeat, their blindness, their cruelty to each other, their shortsightedness… Perhaps this is a price these people have to pay for their direct seeing of the beauty of the world, of the saintly possibilities in human nature, of the non-necessity of so much of human evil, of the seemingly obvious necessities for a good world…
    13. The deep conflicts over the “elitism” that is inherent in any doctrine of self-actualization—they are after all superior people whenever comparisons are made—is more easily solved—or at least managed—by the transcenders than by the merely healthy self-actualizers. This is made possible because they … can sacralize everybody so much more easily. This sacredness of every person and even of every living thing, even of nonliving things … is so easily and directly perceived in its reality by every transcender …
    14. My strong impression is that transcenders show more strongly a positive correlation—rather than the more usual inverse one—between increasing knowledge and increasing mystery and awe… For peak-experiencers and transcenders in particular, as well as for self-actualizers in general, mystery is attractive and challenging rather than frightening … I affirm … that at the highest levels of development of humanness, knowledge is positively, rather than negatively, correlated with a sense of mystery, awe, humility, ultimate ignorance, reverence …
    15. Transcenders, I think, should be less afraid of “nuts” and “kooks” than are other self-actualizers, and thus are more likely to be good selectors of creators  … To value a William Blake type takes, in principle, a greater experience with transcendence and therefore a greater valuation of it…
    16. …Transcenders should be more “reconciled with evil” in the sense of understanding its occasional inevitability and necessity in the larger holistic sense, i.e., “from above,” in a godlike or Olympian sense. Since this implies a better understanding of it, it should generate both a greater compassion with it and a less ambivalent and a more unyielding fight against it….
    17. … Transcenders … are more apt to regard themselves as carriers of talent, instruments of the transpersonal, temporary custodians so to speak of a greater intelligence or skill or leadership or efficiency. This means a certain peculiar kind of objectivity or detachment toward themselves that to nontranscenders might sound like arrogance, grandiosity or even paranoia…. Transcendence brings with it the “transpersonal” loss of ego.
    18. Transcenders are in principle (I have no data) more apt to be profoundly “religious” or “spiritual” in either the theistic or nontheistic sense. Peak experiences and other transcendent experiences are in effect also to be seen as “religious or spiritual” experiences….
    19. … Transcenders, I suspect, find it easier to transcend the ego, the self, the identity, to go beyond self-actualization. … Perhaps we could say that the description of the healthy ones is more exhausted by describing them primarily as strong identities, people who know who they are, where they are going, what they want, what they are good for, in a word, as strong Selves… And this of course does not sufficiently describe the transcenders. They are certainly this; but they are also more than this.
    20. I would suppose… that transcenders, because of their easier perception of the B-realm, would have more end experiences (of suchness) than their more practical brothers do, more of the fascinations that we see in children who get hypnotized by the colors in a puddle, or by the raindrops dripping down a windowpane, or by the smoothness of skin, or the movements of a caterpillar.
    21. In theory, transcenders should be somewhat more Taoistic, and the merely healthy somewhat more pragmatic.
    22. …Total wholehearted and unconflicted love, acceptance … rather than the more usual mixture of love and hate that passes for “love” or friendship or sexuality or authority or power, etc.
    23. [Transcenders are interested in a “cause beyond their own skin,” and are better able to “fuse work and play,” “they love their work,” and are more interested in “kinds of pay other than money pay”; “higher forms of pay and metapay steadily increase in importance.”] Mystics and transcenders have throughout history seemed spontaneously to prefer simplicity and to avoid luxury, privilege, honors, and possessions. …
    24. I cannot resist expressing what is only a vague hunch; namely, the possibility that my transcenders seem to me somewhat more apt to be Sheldonian ectomorphs [lean, nerve-tissue dominated body-types] while my less-often-transcending self-actualizers seem more often to be mesomorphic [muscular body-types] (… it is in principle easily testable).
     

     
     

  19. Vipassana Gold
    4th Vipassana Sit Lessons & Behavior Changes
    Disclaimer: I don't know what I don't know. 
    It was day 7, noble silence was about to be lifted the very next morning & my mind was going nuts. It was about to end and I was ready to break the rules so I grabbed a notebook, a pencil and asked myself "What did I learn & How will my behavior change?". 
    The following is a list of the lesson I learned and How I am aiming to integrate these lessons into my daily life. 
     
    1. Equanimity lies in a "Higher Order" than any sensual pleasure.
    This insight is so deep and so radical that I cannot even fully accept it as I am typing this. What I am saying is that if you develop and maintain the equanimity to anything "Evil" like torture, depression, genocide, or the murder of your daughter beats the gratification derived from experiencing anything "Good".
    What can I do?  I am the very mechanism which reacts.
    Equanimity & Awareness is prior to behavior. 
     
    2. Surrender to the fact that I don't know what I don't know.
    Speculating is a subtle addiction of mine. This habit so sneaky and painful to admit because it fuels most of my other habits and behaviors. 
    I had crystallized a habit of speculating during my meditation sits. Constantly imagining up arbitrary thoughts like "that guy farted 20 minutes ago, and the teacher coughed 40 minutes ago, so there is only 15 minute remaining". Imagine doing this again and again and again during my meditation sits which prevented me from really soaking in and surrendering to the fact that I don't know. 
    This addiction permeates through out my life at very subtle levels. If I were to re read this post after I am done, I would discover many instances of speculation which in itself is a speculation. There's layers to this shit.
    An Immediate behavior change is that i have began to say "I don't know" and let go whenever my mind begins to speculate during meditation. Also I can foresee that contemplating "what is speculation?" will help me navigate and differentiate the instances when speculation is helping me and when its harming me. 
     
    3. Ultimatums are very deceptive. 
    One of my major self sabotaging behavior is to react unconsciously with the intention of compensating later. "Lemme pig out, I'll fast tomorrow" occurs very frequently. This behavior of creating but not fulfilling ultimatums contributes  to the very root of my major misery which is my toxic relationship with food. During the breakfast / lunch period at the retreat, although I was quiet aware that a full stomach leads to weaker meditation sessions, I leaned towards being indulgent. It was a rude awakening to realize that even at a setting where I signed up to maintain awareness & equanimity, I was unable to do so. 
    Slow conscious change of contents has slowly made changes to the structure. I've been swinging in a pendulum of extremes, fasting for days, overeating for days, being a food cop, then recklessly giving into backlashes. It is because of my tendency to lean into extremes, I adapted a habit of generating ultimatums because If I didn't do so, I would face many instances of death which I couldn't have handled.
    Behavior Change = Wear a rubber band and every time I see it, remember to remember this insight. 
     
    4. Cooked Food = Blockages in Body & Increased Sleep Quota
    Especially wrong Food Combinations and Toxic Ingredients
    Ultimatums and pendulum swings have helped me in one way and that is to make new discoveries through experimentation. From being a person whose diet consisted of only meat, dairy, egg, and potatoes for 17 years of my life, a few deep psychedelic trips lead to making an instantaneous change. I went from a person who told vegans to "eat a steak" to becoming a full fledged ideological vegan myself. 
    For the last few months, I've been experimenting with Sadhguru's advice that it is possible to reduce sleep quota to 3-4 hours with a simple switch to a diet. I started to eat mostly raw foods with the intention to sleep quota so I can supercharge my life purpose. For a little more than a month, I had managed to reduce my sleep quota to 4-5 hours by simply following this advice. I abstained from garlic, onion, tomatoes, potatoes as these foods are known to increase inertia and lethargy in the body. 
    Through my direct experience, I verified this during my time at Vipassana. A sudden change to my diet occurred when I entered Vipassana. 100% of calories were coming from cooked food, unsuitable food combinations and questionable ingredients. From the very first day, my sleep quota increased to 7 hours even though my activities were static. My digestion was shit for the whole week, I am pretty sure I have at least 5-6 meals I ate which has still not come out and I feel many blockages within my body which has greatly affect my energy levels and clarity of my mind.
    Even though I realize this, I have already decided to give an ultimatum of starting a 30 day juice fast in the beginning of January and until then I will allow myself cooked food. 
    The change here is simple, I will return to the regime that I was following before Vipassana after my solid food vacation in December. It is not what I eat... why I eat seems to be my major problem. 
     
    5. I do not experience Hunger
    I only experience real hunger when I am fasting and even then it passes so quick that I eventually feel satiated without having to eat. I acknowledge that my desire to eat is solely for pleasure and taste although I have sneaky mechanisms to fuel my eating disorder that tell me to "eat enough calories" & that "I might not have energy tomorrow".
    A radical behavior change for me would be to eat only when I am hungry which would require me to be very mindful and honest about my energy levels and hunger. 
    Overall my food habits have to be reconciled with my budget, my energy expenditures, and a regime that works best for me. 
     
    6. Praying before eating is good practice
    Throughout my days at vipassana, I discovered that a moment of closing my eyes and verbalizing compassion and gratitude before taking my first bite helped in subtle ways. I managed to do a bit of prayer before every meal at the retreat center, with the intention that I will continue to do the same before every meal however after having come home from the retreat, I have begun to forget, especially when I am reacting to cravings. 
    I am continuing to make an effort to spend a minute or two closing my eyes and practice compassion and gratitude as this has helped my relationship with food in very subtle ways.
     
    7. Time is imagination
    After surrendering the fact that I don't know how much time has passed or is remaining, I glimpsed a few instances where I was fully present and the concept of time was completely absent. Having experienced this, the moment I started thinking about time, I was aware that I am imagining it and this imagination is relative to the reactive / materialist paradigm. 
    This truth has permeated throughout my life, especially after reading "the big leap" where Gay Hendricks talks about time as something that is created rather than something that is inherent to reality. I am conscious that I am not a victim to time and that I create time so its not that the alarm clock will ring in time and space but I will imagine the alarm clock ringing within time and space.
    My behavior has already begun to change, my vocabulary doesn't consist of saying "I don't have time" but recontextualized into saying "I will not create time for that".
     
    8. Maintaining Awareness after a sit is difficult
    This one was very counter intuitive. You might assume that after an hour of mindfulness would permeate to the moments after the sit however I realized that the moments after my sit, I was agitated & reactive. Although this is not an ‘every time’ thing because I do have some sessions where I am left with a serene presence but in a retreat session, I seem to react with unconsciousness. 
    I have started to set a few moments aside after the alarm rings to just chill & soak in the accumulated presence instead of reacting unconsciously and moving onto the next worldly activity.
     
    9. Looking down while walking helps with mindfulness
    This one came full circle. Previously, I would walk looking at the ground because I couldn’t summon up enough self esteem to walk with my chest high up. In the last year, after having done a lot purification work and practice self love, I finally learned to walk with my chest up, looking forward. 
    I have resorted once again to looking down 4 steps ahead of me when walking as it has made me realize that I am more present. This switch has been liberating because neither I ever liked having to say hi to everyone I make eye contact with, nor there is anything I am going to miss out on by frivolously looking around. 
    10. Going to sleep with Awareness = Waking up with awareness
    Goenka puts a great emphasis on maintaining awareness of bodily sensations ALL THE TIME. I have a hard time believing that I will reach a state where I will be able to maintain mindfulness 24/7 even when sleeping. 
    A famous quote which fascinates me goes something like this: “When the world sleeps, the yogi is wide awake”. Not that the yogi doesn’t need rest but that he is mindful when resting. 
    To reach the stage where I am mindful 24/7, I make a conscious effort to observe bodily sensations right before going to sleep which has resulted in me waking up in the morning aware of bodily sensations. I’ve also had instances while asleep where I am aware of sensations on my body.
     
    11. Bad Habits are very apparent in a retreat setting
    This reminds me of the video from Leo called “Awareness alone is curative”  and during the 7 days, I summoned up enough awareness to recognize immediately the unconscious patterns that are fueling my bad habits. My tendency to look at the mirror in complete “unknowingness” and doubt of whether I am attractive to others or not & my subtle habit of rolling in thoughts about food were revealed at a very surreal level. I became conscious of the very thought / energy pattern that sparked and perpetuated this unconscious behavior.
    Having articulated this phenomenon, I now immediately realize when I am fueling these patterns. I catch myself looking in the mirror for no reason and it is very humbling because here I am thinking of myself as a noble selfless person but I seem to care so damn much about my physical appearance. Same with food, I like to think and project myself as a healthy person but deeper lies a great deception.  
     
    12. Dreams seem to be conscious choices
    It is becoming very apparent to me that I am the one who is in control of my dreams. Not in the sense that I am always lucid dreaming but that it is I who makes choices within dreams. I’ve had many dreams where I can recall having make conscious choices and decisions. The choices I previously made and still make within dreams are mostly fueled by unconsciousness but I am beginning to have dreams where I choose to make better choices that are aligned with my values. 
     
    13. Vibes Matter
    Having entered the world of spirituality, it was very easy for me to buy into the idea of energy, vibrations, frequencies, etc. without actually having experienced it. Although I experienced such phenomena at very subtle levels, for example, I knew people emit positive vibes and negative  vibes and that the vibe of a night club is different than the vibe of a funeral however there was never a point in my life where I could tangibly pinpoint these phenomenon.
    This vipassana sit really got me in touch with the experience of positive vibrations. Moments where I tangibly experienced good vibrations was when I was meditating in my pagoda cell (a small dark room for meditation). I could distinguish a different energy surround me when meditating in the cell in contrast to meditating in the hall with others. A pagoda cell is supposed to deepen one’s meditation by amplifying positive vibes and although I previously believed that this was true, I now have a direct experience that vibrations are certainly a thing. 
    I have begun to take note of what vibrations are and how they work in my own daily life. For example, it is very clear to me the vibrations I emit and how it affects my surroundings and also how my surroundings interacts with my being. One of my mentors always mentions that meditating at night is less conducive because the whole city is emitting lower consciousness vibrations and that morning meditation is superior because there is less negativity in the mornings. I get the sense that this is true through direct experience
     
    14. Sitting with the base of spine erect = concentration. 
    Pretty self explanatory. I discovered that all the times I’ve spent leaning my back against something and avoiding the pain and suffering that initially comes with sitting for an hour without resting my back lead me towards inertia and drowsiness during my meditation. I had developed a habit of maximizing comfort as an escape from pain and suffering of strong determination meditation sits (it never worked). 
    It is critical that the base of my spine is erect as it leads to a deeper session. I am still struggling to maintain an erect back because I’ve only recently let go of the habit of having to use a back rest however I can foresee that in a few months, my posture will be awesome. 
     
    15. Empty stomach meditation hits harder
    It is a blessing in disguise that they only provide 2 meals at the retreat centers. Food is a culprit if your aim is to have deeper meditation sessions. It is absolutely necessary to eat a reasonable amount and always have a part of your stomach empty so you’re not bombarded with lethargy and drowsiness. Many of the students including myself tended to over indulge, especially because the only source of instant gratification throughout the day was breakfast and lunch.
    I am using the “awareness is curative” approach to resolving my tendency to eat a lot. During meditation, it is very clear when I ate more than I needed to due to the pain and suffering I feel. I am definitely getting better and this issue is bound to be cured if I keep walking this path of awareness.  
     
    16. This work is not for the faint hearts
    This one is mere speculation because I am not faint hearted but I cannot imagine that people would be able to go through the pain and suffering consciously with the aim of developing oneself. It seems to be very easy for people to rationalize their way out of difficult situations so the mind will have 101 deception mechanism up its sleeve to never actually surrender to this work.
    If you are doing this work, I salute you, I appreciate you, and I love you.

  20. Financial autonomy
    Stock Trading
    @jse I have had a very different experience. I looked up companies that were making the parts for tablets and cell phones. I chose 11 companies. I've average 17% return for years. Zero maintained even. And just a thought for you, add insurance. Get your P&C and L&H licenses, get an agreement from an independent insurance agent, or start your own. With your 500 clients, a 50% close rate which is conservative since you're just multilining existing clients, in a year you should be able to write 500 auto, 250 fire, and 200 life policies. (Average household 2 cars, 1 fire, 1 or 2 life). This would give you a residual / reoccurring revenue of about 150,000. And then you have referral opportunities from many product angles. Reinvest that capitol into rental houses / apartments. In a few years you won't have to work anymore. 

  21. nootropic: Pharma gaba
    Meditation in a pill, Pharma Gaba
    Its well known that meditation/relaxation changes the bodies physiology, One of these changes is the increase in gaba production, a inhibitory neurotransmitter. 
    Experimenting with gaba supplementation gives me the sense of instant calm. Completely turns off the bodies stress response. 
    This has only worked with Pharma Gaba and not Synthetic gaba. Synthetic gaba just doesnt work... should avoid it. 
    Other incredible things ive noticed during experimentation: 
    1) Significant increase in sleep quality and reduced time to fall asleep. 
    2) Increase in muscle pump/blood flow during exercise as well as increased endurance.
    3) Improved muscle recovery speed.
    4) Augments meditation, making it easier to enter into deeper stages and quicker. 
    5) Improved digestion, it seems to bind to the the gaba receptors in the intestines improving digestion, noticed a reduction in histamine and autoimmune response, it would appear that the gaba prevents the body from overacting to food triggers!!!! Truly incredible... 
    6) Improved social experiences, greater social clarity.
    7) Overall reduction in stress.
    8) Overall quieter mind, calmer, more insightful.
    9) Noticed the upregulation of neural path ways associated with calm and a reduction of does associated with stress. Appears to be a very effected training tool, for rewiring the brain. 
    10) Increase sex drive, semen production. 
    Strategically this could be taken before a stressful event, priming the body for success. 
    Also some things worth mentioning is the Gaba vs Glutamate balance in the brain. A must learn subject for does experiencing any kind of anxiety, chronic stress or mental chatter.
    The best part about this is it does not cross the blood brain barrier, making it non-addictive, It binds to gaba receptors in the body that then indirectly changes brain chemistry. Seems obvious, seeing as there are 10x more signals moving up from the body to the brain, then there are does moving down from the brain to the body.
    This is tier 2 supplementation... 
    Thought this was worth sharing, found it incredibly useful and practical for a wide range of needs. 

  22. Being a man
    Why Women Aren't Attracted to Nice Guys
    Thanks for the rec. I'll check it out in a moment.
    You're right about that, some people think that shared interests or commonality are what relationships are really built on. It just so happens a lot of people get taken in by this mistake. 
    Yes I agree. One way to view masculinity is congruence. If you have conflicts inside that have not been addressed then you're not going to be rooted in masculine. The "now". You're going to be fixated on those things in the back of your mind, or pushing them away for a later time.
    It's crucial to get these issues sorted out and to be present in the moment, being here fully, knowing what your purpose is in this moment and how whatever situation you are in fits into that purpose. What is your aim in this moment? Is what you're doing in this moment reflective and supportive of your larger purpose? 
    Everyone (not just women) sense this alignment. There should be no complications. There should be transparency, straight forwardness, no self deception. No BS.No games. No "game". Gaming women is not a life purpose. Nobodies life purpose is ultimately centred around attracting women. The attraction comes from congruence . 
    Trying to create attraction is not attractive. A guy can get used by women in those circumstances, but they won't trust that guy long term. 
     

  23. Detachment
    How to have Sociopathic levels of detachment with girls and dating
    You are having a mental habit and an immature disposition. This can be broken with practice. Most non needy guys were a bit needy in the beginning. Then with experience and many heterosexual relationships, they lose that neediness automatically. 
    Understand and be aware that needy behavior can trigger a "shrugged or paranoid" psychological response in the female. I had this with my needy ex (one of the exes).. I would get frustrated with every "needy move or clingy behavior".. 
    One trick is to reprogram your mind and realize that a girl is not the center of everything in life. Take deep interest and motivation in many pursuits and activities in life but don't do them just to impress a girl. That way the girl factor is dropped out. 
    You are suffering low self esteem and low self worth combined with emotional immaturity and lack of emotional independence. 
    Emotional independence means you don't need the opposite gender to fulfill you or complete you. 
    Age is a factor here. With age progression, detachment gets very easily accomplished. 
    Next strategy 
    Intense socialization.. Try socialization online if you suffer social anxiety real time. 
    Have as many friends as you can. Talk to a lot of people in whatever way you can. This helps with emotional independence 
     
    Next strategy 
    Travel
    This helps big time. Traveling to many places has a natural way of rewiring your brain to feel less needy and more confident and self assured. 
    Games. 
    As strange as it might sound, games are healthy as a coping mechanism for engaging the mind and keeping out neediness. They make you feel productive and independent. Though in moderation.. 
    Social media 
    Try setting up a social media account like Twitter or Instagram. May be did difficult in the beginning because you might not have much to post. Try posting anything, just your every day feelings or about political events. As you begin to gather an audience, this boosts your confidence and the need to express and open and reduces the need to rely on one person for your needs. 
    Exercise 
    When you exercise, the endorphins released bring a natural sense of independence and grounding. Don't do this to take a selfie. Do it for your mind. This keeps the mental hormones in check and reduces extreme reactions like neediness 
    Openness. 
    Seek a partner with whom you can share everything. If your partner is such that you can't be open with because of your self esteem or their judgmental behavior, this can cause you to naturally become more needy for their affection and validation. If the person has a great comfort zone with you, your neediness will exponentially decrease. 
    Engagement 
    On the spot remedy is engagement. If you spot yourself acting needy, distract and engage in some activity like watching a YouTube video, solving a puzzle or going out for  a walk or doing household chores. 
    Is your relationship depriving you 
    Sometimes your neediness may not be your fault but your partner who constantly punishes you even for little affection. In this case you are going through Alienation or deprivation. Such a relationship is not worth having. Either air it out and let them hear you or break it up. 
    Hanging out with the opposite gender 
    Hang out with girls not necessarily for a relationship agenda in mind but just for friendship. Casual flirting helps ease the sexual tension and makes you feel comfortable and not as needy. Interact online if offline doesn't work 
    Practice self control 
    You need affection. You need reassurance. You need their time and comfort. This is part of addictive personality. You need intense self control for this impulsive addictive behavior. It's completely impulsive. The receptors in the brain constantly stimulate you to want the other person's presence. Practice self control by setting a self restraining boundary - like - I'll call her only 2 times today. I won't check my phone. I won't respond to her today. I won't bug her today. Keep days apart. Keep a particular time slot to communicate and exchange affection or company. This reduces the need to constantly want to want that person. Keeps that need in check.. 
    The more time you put into practice, the better you get at it. 
    Remember that partners are for you to grow in life. Try not making them the center of your life. 
    Hope this helped 

  24. Nahm life story
    Balance between spiritual and self actualization
    @Fede83 In coming to realize the relationship of courage in asking questions, & self discovery, and given where this here life is, your question tapped into right where I’m at, and precisely what I’m doing from here on out. The response is long, comes off as self indulgent, but is written only for you. I really appreciate the question as I learned a lot and gained more clarity in the answer. Thank you very much. 
    First I forgot who I was. That’s basically where all the trouble started. Deluded psychology & depression ensued, therapists & pills didn’t help. Gained 70 or so pounds, ate terribly, lost sex drive. Got a lot more depressed, hopeless. Meditation however, worked. I found some relief and clarity, so I did it everyday, at least once. I didn’t know about the path, awakening, enlightenment, etc. The content, or big picture & details, and spelling-it-out, wasn’t as available as it is now. Also, I started playing guitar around 15. Classical & different genres of pop / rock. In hindsight, this developed relaxation, concentration, focus & feeling. 
    Working hard, efficient, honest & smart felt good, and bettered my quality of life, so I did a lot of that. I excelled and created opportunities of every job. I liked making things more efficient, more fun, & easier for everyone, and I liked putting how everyone feels, first. In hindsight, that was more significant than I noticed. It was from meditation, from slowing the mind down, that I saw through the lens of the importance of attitude. It felt empowering. I started exercising. That felt amazing. Because I felt amazing, I wanted to feel more amazing, so I changed my diet entirely. I realized a level of energy I’d never experienced before. I started singing along with playing guitar, and I absolutely loved it. In hindsight, writing songs developed expression. Singing at venues developed confidence. 
    Because of the meditation, attitude, work ethic, energy, and the having fun, I left a salary job, and opened a business. I had learned a lot, and also, at the same time I had no idea what I was doing really, but I just happily did it anyways. Meditation revealed the secret of now. When I thought of too big of a slice of life, instead of getting overwhelmed, I’d realize it’s just this one moment in front of me, never more. Meditation revealed the nature of overthinking. Because I was not overthinking, and had some intuition going, and everyone else was overthinking, things got easier & effortless. I realized meditation is naturally a leadership quality practice, so I did it more. I worked even harder, trained a team, had maximum fun, and replaced myself. Then I opened another business, and in short, did the same thing. 
    In meditation, I let go of a lot, had little thought chatter, and became open minded. Because I was open minded, I heard and started listing to Abraham Hicks, Wayne Dyer, and similar things on YouTube. That opened the mind up more.  
    I felt good, from meditation, working hard, having fun, and being present now. I started reading about science, psychology, etc, and researching religions and quantum mechanics. I wanted to know about reality. I had no idea at all there was a Truth. One day I sat down to meditate like any morning, and the instant I sat, oneness was viscerally realized. I was a blissed out fool for a week or two. It was wonderful, and also shocking, as ’no one knew this’. I couldn’t fathom how I knew this, and everyone else in the world apparently did not. Everything was the same, and yet everything had changed, and I didn’t understand any of it. I loved it and felt amazing though. 
    Then I found actualizing.org, and found that Leo, and other people that did know this. I started realizing I didn’t know anything, like not a damn thing about anything. After ample arguing and trying to be right, I started getting clued in about ego, conditioning, duality, psychedelics & spirituality. Took tiny doses of shrooms with friends, laugh a ton, and also started seeing this oneness in reality, more so than just feeling / knowing it within. I started taking solo retreats in nature; inspecting my beliefs and identity, playing guitar & singing, meditating, walking, and tripping. Took progressively higher does over the course of about two years. Never had a ‘bad trip’, learned a ton every time. Loa, QM’s, spirituality, and things I more deeply wanted career and life wise became clearer and all started to gel together, and reveal more of reality. 
    By this point I was married and had three kids. This also gelled perfectly with the path, as kids are perfect mirrors. They do what you do. Difficult to stomach, and makes for speedy awareness of minutia in behavior, attitude & the repercussions / creation from/of the smallest actions.  There’s no more hiding or getting away with anything.  You learn or they eat your life alive. You love patiently & create space for them, or you pay for counseling and meet with parents, teachers, principals & psychologists about it. The deeper importance of intention, and awareness of vibration surfaced in marriage. It was revealed to me that most of what’s happening, happens at the vibrational level, and perception is of the outcome. Much more self awareness arose, in naturally balancing all these facets of learning & life, together. At this point my life was chalked full of everything I love, and it did start to dawn on me the power of consciousness, creating, choosing, and feeling. 
    Still meditating everyday.
    More solo retreats, more practicing, higher does trips, more realizations, working harder & smarter, putting people first more and more across the board, and then the breakthrough to infinity. Total game changer. Nothing could prepare anyone for infinity. At this point, in hindsight, oneness was actually (experientially, relatively speaking) more of a shocking sudden and permanent no mind / knowing of unity. Infinity is an inexplicable complete and total unbelievable unthinkable incommunicable mindfuck. My brain was literally re-wired, which felt very different but fine, kind of a warm activity / electricity feeling, and as old thoughts and thought patterns arose, they met with the new wiring, and were ‘converted’, or ‘refilled’ by truth. That, and uncontrollable laughter, in a total state of absolute disbelief & mind blow 24/7 lasted a couple months.
    Then in the middle of one day walking through my house, suffering & misery swirled in my head, like all of the false thoughts I ever had were being pulled by a magnet, in a circular spinning pattern, and like a toilet flushing, swirled into the very center of my brain. I was aware of it and felt it, and it was more disgusting and sickening then anything else, and nothing has every felt quite like that. It swirled done smaller and smaller until it just like ‘popped’ and vanished. I was very aware that I would never be able to see things again, in the manor which had led to depression etc, and I just sat in a chair for a few days as it sank in. Somehow it was crystal clear there would be no experiencing misery again, and that meant I would not be able to feel the vibration of someone else who was. I would only be able to relate by logical deduction, and not actually relating. Take that as you will, it’s nuts but it’s accurate. 
    Still meditating every day. 
    So now there’s no perception of actual separation anymore, no fear, no self doubt, and everything is perfect and makes perfect sense, and every thing is imperfect and make no logical sense, and together that actually makes sense, as there is no separation. Reality, self, revealed as pure magic being. 
    All of that, which started with depression, & sitting down and meditating, had culminated into not being able to ‘physically hold’, or have the capacity for, infinite love. This was actually (joyfully & hilariously) kind of an issue for a couple years. Crying once or twice a day, purification cleaning house, sometimes blissful & beautiful, sometimes gut wrenching / barfing it out style crying, followed by deep & insightful life / self realizations. Sensitivity mentally, emotionally, and physiologically was incredibly heightened. Conscience is more like an exposed nerve of love. Little things I said or did that never would have bothered me at all, would haunt me for days. It took a while to understand and acclimate to this. Meditation changed entirely. There was no letting go of thoughts anymore, but moving awareness through my body, and raising what I can only refer to as new tiers of feeling. “Experience” like it was, was gone. Inconsistent reality is ‘normal’, or rather there never was a normal as reality was always love / self & magical.  All kinds of delightful things that aren’t explainable began to transpire, and I was now fully aware that I created myself, and  “reality” of myself. Not as this guy obviously, but as who we really are. The nature of being, the absolute & relative, the human condition, etc, all known, which is to say nothing is known. As far as “balance between spiritual and self actualization”, there’s just the ineffable-ness. Neither is describing anything anymore.  
    All songs made anew, and music, playing & singing are only for the experience of it. Intuition is a primary sense, like vision. Took reiki classes, mystical experiences in the “ordinary” state became “normal”. Met some great likeminded people and learned a ton from ‘hands on’ direct experience. Learned more clearly how we do create our own reality, and how beliefs are the most important underlying factor. This made sense of how people can have such different and otherwise unexplainable direct experience with food, diet, medicines, ailments & healing, “luck”, immunizations, etc, etc. Also developed more understanding of how big the full circle is, in terms of ego & oneness, and reachability vs lost in sneakery (denial, deflection, projection, etc)
    Still meditating everyday.
    Started seeing “God’s plan”, and understanding how there can be a “plan”, which yet is unconditional spontaneous & without thought, inclusive of all thought. The common connotation of the word plan doesn’t work. Realized collective consciousness by seeing it directly outside of ‘reality’, the “how” this living of lives is orchestrated, and how co-creation ‘works’. Lost thinking / thoughts, to no mind & insights. That ‘led’ to cosmic consciousness, seeing the entirety of the one off dreams, and how thinking & feeling works in terms of creation, in unison with the universe, white & black holes, superposition, entanglement, etc, etc. Realized why almost everyone “tunes out” right here, and stopped mentioning it. Realized a simple dry erase board is a holon and is much more than it appears to the senses, and is not separate form intention, belief, emotion and the actual creation of reality. All of this realization goes hand in hand with new levels of the emotional scale, and of feeling in the body. When I first started, I did not feel inside of my body. I didn’t know that was possible / actual. Now there is a “cellular level” feeling / awareness / consciousness that is like a field of refined bliss. It feels like a relationship feels in a big way and is hard to describe. Realized this, when “amped up”, effects people and circumstances within “my” field of perception beyond communication with words, and that it is “powered by” love and purity of desire, intention, and an overall alignment and fundamental acceptance of / with the actuality of Being. The ‘relationship’, or ‘it is the way it is because that is the only way it can be because infinity is conscious’, or finite is like this, infinity / Being is like this, was realized also and will probably make for a fun book one day.
    Been “channeling” a book, learning different models of living & reality from different teachers within the ether / self, developing the most ideal effective model of path progression I can, for one to implement. Started having  awakening enlightenment conversations with people in person and through skype, centering around creating the life one actually authentically wants, involving the ‘extracting’ and developing of unique source-given gifts and desires, and the true power of love. 
    Of course things with my family, friends etc have never been better. The depth and richness of love is ever present like drowning & floating in bliss, well being & a sort of perpetual never ending awakening. Though at the same time, I am only interested in well being & awakenings. I realize no one is awakening, and everyone is awakening, and just love being a part of it as nothing. By well being I mean physical & mental health, and self love. By awakening I mean inspecting & freeing yourself of limiting beliefs, leaving the matrix of conditioning & overthinking, connecting with source through intuition & true intention, enjoying the deeper richer authentic magical feelings available, having & achieving everything you dream up for this life, and self realizing in a timely & appropriate manor along the way. I see clearly the most fundamental issues at play are the misunderstanding / collective belief that consciousness arises from matter, and the collective lack of distinction between behaviors & actions, and the being each one actually is. 
    Still doing meditation every morning. Attention on breathing, letting every thought pass. Nothing more. When it’s difficult, it’s because the nature of reality is purification. That is, source is unconditional, so any beliefs (conditions) held are naturally going to float right out of the body the more one relaxes, breathes, & let concerns go. Realized the elusiveness of anti-gravity at play here, in terms of the relationship between letting thinking go, and thinking about it. Mind blowing synchronicity, awe & wonder are the actuality of self / reality. Realized the critical difference between a ‘caring or not caring’ paradigm, and knowing each person is so powerful, that no one else can do any of this for them, or convince another to change a belief / and therefore their actual reality. Realized this arena / realm is what I’ll be doing “work / income” & “survival-wise” for the rest of this life. 
    Realized the “defilements” and “samsaras” are one’s truest character / deeply intention based, thus difficult to surrender (ego finishing dying so to speak), yet fundamentally are relative the same as food choices are relative to how one feels, one’s vibrational proximity with / as, absolute / source, the full surrender of relativity. A short term - long term thinking, feeling, living, that stretches well beyond life & death, thought, perception & sensation.  For example, when sitting and doing nothing feels better than sex, sex is no longer a ‘reach up’ to feel better. Paradoxically, sex then enters a whole new place that I think a whole book could be written about. Probably has already. The more belief / identity one surrenders, the more selfish & selfless collapses in terms of true intention & motives for the character and other charectors, and the more alignment is realized / empowered in creating reality. Sex, just as one example, reaches heights beyond the deepest trips, but then again, sex isn’t actually sex at all. 
    Realized I’ve never actually experienced this concept of “done”, nor will ever. Experience is itself infinite intelligence, which is love unconditional. Infinite can never be “done”, experience can never be “done”, purification can never be “done”.  God only only loves and in intrinsically being unconditional, wants everything you want, and never judges the wanting. All you need to do is be well practiced in meditation, so you don’t use thought stories as a means of stressing yourself out, and repressing the feelings, which source is cleaning out for you right now. 
    Still meditating everyday. 
    “Spirituality & self actualization” have coalesced transcending feeling, and transcending transcending. Nothing is not transcendable, and as such creation is unidirectional. I wrote the intention on my dream board to die into a dream of giving everything I have ‘learned and become’ to anyone interested in the path and in Truth. “I” channeled the following, and spoke it to the holon...
     
    “Universe, I am most thankful for this opportunity to express my desires. I am sincerely appreciative for the breath which gives me life, and for the thoughts which allow me to understand, to prefer, and to choose. I understand I am a chooser of things, as an extension of All That Is. I feel great joy in serving as a creator & expresser of these unique preferences. I understand my preferences have never been expressed before, and I am excited to create this most rare & exclusive dream together. I acknowledge you are the “how” of all things, the selfless giving miracle of life. I acknowledge the creation of me, for this purpose, to be here where I am now, to be who I am today, now, precisely as you have made me to be. I understand the gift, that no more, and no less, is needed. I acknowledge your mastery of creation, I am humbled by your presence in all things.  I acknowledge I am not separate from you, and that my true power as a creator, is in aligning with you, within me, and in knowing you as my sensational guidance, my will, my conscience keep you in my heart & mind. I am thankful for this ever-present guidance, and I will do my absolute best. Truly, above all, my deepest desire is to know you through myself, and for you to express your divinity through me. I welcome & embrace all that you are, as all that I am. I find great relief in the not-knowing-of, in the discovery of, your means and your unconditional way. I have no complaints about the “how” of things coming, and I have no complaints of what comes. I acknowledge the power of my appreciation, and my truest power in trusting & abiding in your guidance. I know the joy within me as you, as our connection; our unification. I know there is no place on my path which you are not bring the earth to my feet. I feel you always, I am never without you, and I recognize that I am fallible by gift of your adornment, and in turn I set down my burdens that you purifiy me again and again. I understand I will learn a great many things about myself as the reality of my wanting unfolds. I understand I am humbled and reborn in the knowing and acceptance of my essential place in your grand design. I understand we are inseparable, in this magical co-creating, in this infinite unending & forever incomplete expansion of absolute love. I acknowledge, in your everlasting & infinitely unlimited nature, in your intrinsic potentiality to create anything - that you have created me in creating a self. I accept my infinite nature in kind, and appreciate that my work is never done. Above all else in my journey, I cherish and remain most mindful & appreciative of this gift, of this moment as it is, now, and of the infinite potential of togetherness. I ask for nothing more, than this small part of the eternal unfolding of love”.
    This was met by an energy I can’t explain, other than to say energy was always love, The Self. This was the second time I lost my mind for a few days. And there was no suffering this time. 
    Almost immediately, yet again divine synchronicity played to a new tune, a new level, new impossibility. I received a text that day, from the Reiki Master I learned from a year or two ago. She asked if I wanted to meet for lunch and talk. Of course I did. I knew, and felt amazing. We had lunch, then she showed me her newly purchased, newly remodeled facility. I’d guess it’s around six thousand square feet, in the most quant and peaceful downtown area, just outside the most beautiful park on the water. There are now around ten to fifteen people working there with her, doing everything healing, massage, reiki, multiple yoga studios and degrees of classes, physical therapy, meditation coaching, etc, and many other healing modalities and classes. She said the place was reaching the vision she was given of it, a well being megaplex really, and wanted me to work there, as she didn’t have and wanted, someone for enlightenment coaching. 
    So today, depression, meditation, and letting go has led me to a job I dreamed up, of “doing”, “nothing”. Things are transitioning patiently, and I’ll be there full time starting in January, doing skype calls, and in person one on one meetings, as well as evening group q&a’s settings she mentioned. 
     
     

  25. Yellow approach
    More than one ways to find the Truth?
    @Seeker_87 Each person is undoing themselves as relative, ultimately arriving at the same absolute, and then in a way relearning the relative. So every path is personal and unique. For example, in a general sense, consider the difference between the path of a 20 year old, compared to a 60 year old. A 20 year old may need to live desire to more deeply know it, and a 60 year might connect the meta dots more readily. Essentially I’m saying, first consider the person, then consider the paths.