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Posts posted by crab12

  1. 3 hours ago, mandyjw said:

    In the 50's and 60's there were really strong standards about how women should look and act, and there was a big reaction against it. If we would stop imposing standards on our children, anyone else, and including our own selves, there wouldn't be a problem.


    48 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

    Of course. It goes both ways. There are some cultures in which most men want women to dress provacatively, such as showing a lot of cleavage. This would be considered an Orange level. . ,. A religious blue culture would be much more conservative. Here, women may be expected to be fully clothed and show no skin - such that men are not tempted to be lustful - which would be a sin in this context.

    I see. The issue is not whichever way the standard is, but that it is externally forced upon, and it doesn't let women be authentic.

    @Serotoninluv (or anyone else who knows) Do you know why feminists are not vocal about how women are expected to dress in islamic societies?

  2. @Leo Gura Terribly. Okay I'm starting to understand the perspective and feelings behind feminism.


    29 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

    @crab12 How would you feel if you entire value as a living being was boiled down to being a hole that others could ejaculate into?

    I don't think reality is this extreme, that women are viewed as literal prostitutes by men. But from women's perspective, they actually feel like this? If this is really true, wow, I had no idea.

  3. 8 hours ago, Rilles said:

    Why not the Roma? If you live on the border of Rumania/Hungary, are you less white? What does it mean to be less white? Are black albinos white?

    You could argue all day about this without reaching satisfactory conclusion. However, throw people into a violent prison and they instinctively form gangs based on their ethnicity because that's the safest. This much deeper ingrained in humans than thoughts or intellectual debate.



    Austrians are usually considered white yet Hungarians who live next door arent, where is the line drawn?

    You can only have this confusion if you have an abstract idea of an "Hungarian". If you meet actual people with Hungarian descent, it's obvious they are similar to the rest of the europeans on a visceral level.

  4. 2 hours ago, Serotoninluv said:

    Is a role for women to make themselves more sexually appealing to men? Should we expect women to be sexual eye candy for men? . . . From the perspective of many men. . yes!!! Women should present themselves in a way that I, as a male, find sexually appealing to satisfy imagination.

    I see. Women felt they were pandering to the men by being eye candy for them, and they got sick of this, and rebelled against this. So in the mother daughter example, the mother felt that her daughter was pandering to the men by wearing make-up, sexy clothes etc.

    2 hours ago, Serotoninluv said:

    "Wait a minute. . . why am I spending all this time, effort and money on this? Why am I damaging my body to do this? To give chipmunks I don't even care about a quick pulse of feeling good?". I think it would be reasonable to say "Screw this. I'm not going to spend all this time, effort, money and stress to my body to please chipmunks I don't care about. They can look at some chipmunk porn to get their jollies"

    Very interesting. This is the mirror opposite how MGTOW feels towards women.

    2 hours ago, Serotoninluv said:

    Imagine living a life in which every morning you have to go to a studio for an hour to put on lots of makeup. You have to wear shoes that are very uncomfortable - these shoes even cause damage to your feet, calves and knees. And then one day you realize you've been doing all this because the chipmunks in town like it. . .

    So the dynamic used to be that women were pressured into doing this. I always thought that women were doing this voluntarily in order to gain power over men, at least I feel this is the dynamic presently. When my mother was teenager, she told me how it was forbidden for girls to wear make up to school, have long open hair, wear a revealing cleavage, high heels, etc. And some girls would rebelliously wear open hair to school and would get punished over it. It has been my understanding that society used to shun this kind of sexual display. Then again, I don't live in U.S, so maybe it used to be different there.

  5. I am reading Teal Swan's Anatomy of Loneliness and came upon this quote.


    I was raised by a mother who was a bra-burner in the 1960s with women's rights movement. Having watched the continual objectification of women in her childhood, she dramatically rebelled against the sexualisation of women. When I began to come into my own sexuality and wanted to wear make-up, high heels, dress sexy and flirt with boys, my mother had a visceral negative reaction to it. She looked at me with disgust, made derogatory remarks and told me that I was destroying everything she and the women of her time worked so hard for.

    I can understand why young woman do these things, there's no political agenda behind it, just a natural thing to do. What I don't understand is the perspective of the mother. Why did she have a visceral negative reaction to her daughter? Obviously the same dynamic is present in today's feminism - they purposefully present themselves in a way that is less sexually attractive to men. But why? There are feminist messages everywhere in my society, yet I still don't understand the actual intent or perspective or the unfulfilled needs behind it.

    Btw Anatomy of Loneliness is not a book about feminism, it was just an illustrative example about shame.

  6. He does a good job showing racial identity is an arbitrarily drawn category which only exists in people's thoughts, and not in reality. However, he lost me when he started implying other racial identities are valid. I think he misunderstands what fundamentally drives people together - it's not the illusion of shared identity but shared needs. Beings that have a subset of shared needs recognize that their needs can get met more efficiently if they all work together, and that's why they stick together, and only later they create the idea of shared identity around that. And those needs are authentic, can't get rid of them. Denying those needs would be inauthentic. Self-sacrifice / self-denial / acceptance of LOSE-WIN is inauthentic.

  7. I have studied a few PUA systems - David Deangelo, Love Systems, Mystery Method, RSD. The common approach with all of them is they mostly teach you techniques. This led me astray for years and I think many other men too who get into PUA. The teachers are aware techniques can only serve as training wheels and "fundamentals" are what matters. Here's a quote from Magic Bullets:


    If you’ve taken care of the fundamentals, any reasonable system can work. The Don could use Brad P’s system and get great results. Style has used Mystery’s system and done well. I’ve used a couple of different systems before making my own.

    But they fail to deliver on these "fundamentals". Their way of teaching is, if you do 10k approaches using our techniques and pick-up lines you will sorta stumble upon the right "fundamentals" on your own. I have been to the grind, clenching my teeth together, then putting on a confident face and doing an attempt after attempt after attempt, getting rejected over and over again, flaked on etc. Like I hate that I have to do this but there's no other way to get what I want. It made me very bitter and cynical towards women and society. I suspect many other guys have experienced this, including @Meetjoeblack.

    I feel there's game saturation now, most women under 35 have experienced 1000's of attempts from thirsty guys. And women can see that the guys are running a numbers game, so it's degrading and unsatisfying for women too. Both men and women are growing cynical and bitter and not getting their needs met.

  8. @Maximus Ah okay I understand what you are saying. They were just kids and got molested by these fucking monsters, they didn't deserve this nor had any control over this. And now the police are covering for the perps while stonewalling the victims. This is a massive problem, it hasn't gotten any better, it's probably worse today than in 1980's. I would not raise a family in UK, I would move country.

    I'll try to explain how I understand victim mentality, to me these are completely different things. ~6 years ago I had an injury, I could no longer dance, lift weights, play team sports, run, or even walk properly. Dancing and lifting weights were very important to me at the time. The doctors told me these types of injuries do not heal and there's nothing they can do. At that young age, I thought my life was over, there's nothing I can do about it, it was an accident, it wasn't even my fault, and now I'm going to be crippled for the rest of my life. I was in a state of complete passivity, just played video games and coped with unhealthy behaviors. I was already depressed at the time and the accident made things much much worse. To me, this represents victim mentality, the belief that there is nothing I can do, that my life is ruined, it's over, and the apathy and passivity it produces. Now I can see that instead of lifting weights I can do calisthenics, instead of dancing I can draw. This injury doesn't stop me from living a good life, like at all, all the limitations have some kind of a workaround. And finally, if there really are no options left, I can choose to face death with dignity, like Socrates did. I don't need anything to live a good life other than do the thing that I want to do the most, and that option is always available. The Path or The Way is always there.

    I understand that being raped as a child is much worse than anything I have ever experienced. But I can see that even that doesn't have to stop you from living. The Steemit article you shared, the author is standing up and trying to expose the perpetrators even though he is getting stonewalled by the police, he can expose the whole thing to the public.

  9. I have given a lot of advice on this forum and in hindsight I can see that it has been ineffective and patronizing and not what the person really needs. If the person comes up with his/her own solution to the problem, then they will do the required work. No one likes to be told what to do. Therapists and life coaches don't give advice, good ones at least. They ask good questions and gently help the client come up with their own solutions.

  10. I am sorry for the loss of innocent lives.

    5 hours ago, Elham said:

    We believe Iran and America shook hand on it to make this happen. Iran needed a national hero and America wanted that Iranian military head dead. Both sides win.

    I have never considered this possibility. Everyone in the west see U.S and Iran as absolute enemies.

    5 hours ago, Elham said:

    And what happened after that? Of course ... a dramatic firing a rocket to American military base  which of course they knew in advance so no one got hurt. And it's over... There is no war and it's all a game. How is it possible Iran fire a rocket to American military area?! They will loose everything. They won't do that. And how is it possible Trump react to such thing so relax!

    This was seen as a gesture of de-escalation by Iran, from a western point of view. They could have easily killed hundreds of Americans in response but restrained to only a symbolic show of force.

    Generally there is growing fatigue of war and people wish the military would just pull out from the middle east and leave it be. There are the establishment war hawks who wish for perpetual war because they personally benefit from it (Bolton, McCain (deceased), Kushner etc). And then there are Trumptards who just support whatever Trump does because they are idiots.

    2 hours ago, Radical said:

    Is it allowed to open topic on politics of isis on this forum? i think its quite interesting to understand what is isis in political and 'consciousness' sense.

    (someone should try to open it))) i already have warning, so if there is anyone brave then go ahead.

    I would be interested in hearing it, although I don't want you to get banned if it's not allowed. In the west there are 2 perspectives of isis. First, that it is the embodiment of the worst possible evil on earth, the "bad guys" who kidnap and rape our women and girls or just the "enemies". The second is that it's paid for and armed by U.S and Israel, and they do their dirty work through it. They fight and destabilize Israel's political enemies (Syria, Iran) in the region and allow U.S to steal their oil.

  11. @Bill W I agree with the distinction between a victim and victim-mentality.

    If a person becomes victimized (assault theft etc) he/she can still take direct action and society is more than willing to help (police).

    If the victimized person has victim-mentality he/she is unlikely to take proactive action, usually they just suffer in silence and do not reach out for help. And a minority of them will make vague passive-aggressive twitter posts how it's all of society's fault or how it's the fault of one demographic, earning a bad rep for victim-mentality.

    I empathize with victim-mentality too. They have valid and real problems but believe there is nothing they can do about it, it's futile, it's utterly pointless. They are flooded with frustration and apathy and it's incredibly difficult to take action from such a place. Often they don't reach out and their problems stay unacknowledged.

  12. Unfortunately schizophrenia and meds will affect the memory, and you will struggle more because of that. But there are 2 things you can try to get around this problem.

    What kind of information do you struggle with? Is it names, or passwords, facts? I have quite awful memory for text-based information and I get around this issue using memory palaces. You can effortlessly memorize a list of 30 items in a few minutes, for example, and it'll stay there for months, it's pretty cool. You can memorize complex ideas too with memory palaces, and it helps with the learning process as it requires you to understand the topic in a very clear way before chunking it up and memorizing it. Check out memory palaces:

    The other main thing for bad memory is low quality sleep:


  13. I enjoyed reading that.


    This applies all the way up and down the chain of life.

    If a Unified World Government seems unlikely or impractical, just remember that 2000 years ago the idea of a country was crazy because there were only walled city-states. And 2 billion years ago, the idea of multicellular organisms was crazy because there were only single-celled organisms eating each other.

    For a human body to exist, single-celled organisms had to learn to cooperate with each other despite having their own selfish agendas.

    This is a game that life has played out for 2 billion years.

    Ahhh now I finally see the case for a world government.

    But cooperation can only happen when it benefits both parties. The rise of nationalism is happening because, right now, they are perceiving that they will end up losing in a world government. It's a LOSE-WIN deal for the. The argument is they should just give up their fight because it's:


    more or less inevitable at this point

    It will only cause them to entrench further and prepare to fight till the bitter end, because they are going to perish either way.

    This is very much like when you are trying to study for the exams but at the same time you have the urge to play video games. You can suppress your desire to play games this one time but internal suppression isn't going to work as a long term solution. The suppressed desire will revolt and wreak havoc sooner or later. A long term solution would be to find a way that satisfies both of your internal needs, a WIN-WIN for your own self.

    If you truly want a unified world government you are going to have to come up with a solution that satisfies everyone, including people who want to preserve their preferred way of life (nationalists). Not just tell them, it's inevitable, just give up. Otherwise you are being a carnivore devouring them for the "greater good", but the "greater good" is to satisfy all needs and to unify all.

  14. I can see 2 reasons which are understandable to me.

    1) Victim perceives that external forces are running his life 100% and he has 0% control over the direction of his life. Therefore victim doesn't see himself responsible for his own life, because how can you be responsible over something you have no control over? So whenever a problem arises for the victim, he will not try to fix it himself. Because he didn't do anything, he has 0% control, it's not he's fault! Victim demands other people fix his problems, because they are responsible for it, as the victim perceives external forces are 100% running his life.

    Isn't it annoying having other people blame you for their problems and demand you fix it for them?

    2) Victim believes life is a giant lottery and she was dealt a bad hand (bad genetics, bad parents, bad country etc etc). She believes it's impossible for her to create something better nor is it possible for other people. So she sees that successful people just got lucky, they didn't earn their success, it was all just handed to them. The victim sees this is unfair, and demands the successful person give part of his wealth to him so they are equal, this is only fair in the victims eyes.

    Imagine working hard your entire life and then having a mob of ungrateful assholes demand you hand over your wealth and suggest that you didn't work for any of it but that you stole it from them. And that it's only fair that you give your stuff away.

  15. There's a an inner conflict in you. You want to say something nasty back at your grandmother because she is being toxic but another part of you recognizes that you don't want to say something hurtful because it would degrade the relationship further. Both sides of you have a valid point. The thing to do if you have inner conflict is to explore both of your motives and try to come up with a solution that satisfies both sides of you (WIN-WIN essentially).

    Even though it's true that you have toxic beliefs because of the way she acts, realize that you can heal yourself from them, they don't have to be with you for the rest of your life. She acquired them from her parents, she's a victim of victims, and she lacked the awareness to change them herself. But you don't, you have the awareness to break the chain and not inherit this to your kids someday.

    You recognize that telling her "she is a miserable person and will die unhappy" is hurtful. But do you want to cause just hurt? Or do you want her to see that yelling at you or your brother is not okay? And eventually build a functional, non-toxic, good, respectful relationships in your family?

    It's incredibly difficult for people to understand criticism, especially when it has a hurtful or accusatory tone. So if you say to her "you is a miserable person and will die unhappy" she will get offended and feel hurt and angry. She's not going to see that what you are actually trying to tell her is "it is not okay with me that you yelled at my brother".

    Asserting for other people generally doesn't work too well. But you can say something like "when you yelled at my brother and told him to do XYZ I felt angry and annoyed because it felt disrespectful towards him". You can probably come up with a better sentence than me as you know the situation better. But the point is to accurately state what she did that crossed your or your brother's boundary and the negative emotions you felt. And to say it in a way that is not hostile, accusatory or blaming. Meaning you protect your boundary but do it in a non-aggressive way. This is how you slowly end the cycle of toxicity and build up a healthy relationship.

    edit: And if you do assert yourself in this way, then be prepared to listen to what your grandmother has to say. She will probably be hostile and blameful. Do not get sucked into an argument. Honestly try to understand her and repeat back to her how you understand her "you feel angry at my brother because you feel that he doesn't help you around the house and you have to do all the work and you feel unappreciated". Or whatever she is saying to you.

  16. @Anubis

    The peasant from the middle ages thinks to himself "Wow I hate my job. I work 8 hours every day on my lords fields, then when I come home, I have barely enough energy to work on my own fields or make salt pork for the winter! All I want is to be a famous lyre player who gets all the wenches or an explorer like Columbus or Polo!". Then doubts start creeping in on the peasant. "But I have to work on the lords fields, otherwise he'll beat me again. And I won't survive the winter or be able to afford 5g pigeon network! And father wants me to inherit the farm. And I suck at the lyre! I can't even read! I have no idea where to start as an explorer! God, why have you cursed me like this??"


    Deep down that farmer would have wanted to be an explorer

    The peasants true self (the thing he deep down wants the most) is to be an explorer. But he isn't one, he's a stinky peasant. He's actual self is out of alignment with his true self.

    But he just thought about it, and it's absolutely impossible for him to be an explorer. There's no way. He has to peasant away at the farm. He'll never be an esteemed lyre player. So he gets depressed and anxious. He doesn't want to think about this depressing thought that he'll be a lowly stinky peasant for the rest of his life. He pushes this painful thought out of his mind. He no longer even remembers the original thought but still feels the crippling depression and anxiety. So he goes to the pharmacy for advice.
    "Why is this depression and anxiety torturing me for absolutely no reason at all?"
    "It's the chemical imbalance in the liver, too much bile. An awful modern curse", answers the voice behind the plague mask. "Here, take these pills made out of marinated cadaver eyeballs and dried cat testicles. They'll numb you and you'll no longer feel any emotions, including depression and anxiety. You're welcome."
    "Thanks, I'll take those pills. Yeah that'll solve the problem. I'm not going to do something crazy like run away from the farm to a free city! That's dangerous and uncomfortable. I might even die out there!"

  17. 22 hours ago, Mindfang413 said:

    what is life? What is death? Why does it exist? What is its purpose? Why does anything exist? Is everything just mechanical? Does the universe and anything beyond only exist simply because it just does and for no reason? If everything that is, is meaningless, then how does life have any significance either if its part of it?

    how and why do I exist?

    Can you give your current best answers to these questions? I'd like to see how they are different from mine.


    My biggest problem is ... there is no objective meaning to any of it. Theres even no meaning to god if he exists. God has his own meaning i guess as an entity and creator but he has no purpose either.

    A teacher, I highly respect, once talked about karmic yoga, which was very profound to me. He explained: "What is karmic yoga? Very simple, It's two things. First, you discover your true self. And after that, you fulfill your god-given purpose." That right there is the recipe for a meaningful life, or the elusive path to happiness.

    What is your purpose in life? You can always feel it in your gut. You probably know it as the feeling of want. The thing that you deep down want the most in life. That's it. God literally wants you to do what you want to do. But until you discover your true self you will not accurately know what you want.

    And what is true self? Obviously you are not it right now as you said it yourself - "I feel totally fucked up". Anxiety and depression are telling you the same thing. Feeling fucked up is you recognizing that you are out of alignment with your true self.

    Imagine, your true self is a mirror, but it has been shattered into a hundred pieces. You want to mend those shards back together into one. Anxiety and depression are a good clue to start with. Why are you depressed? Why do you feel anxious? If you are from a western country then I'm going to assume it's because your family and upbringing was dysfunctional and now you are unable to form close, intimate, enduring, meaningful relationships and you feel chronically alone and in pain. Also you have the same dysfunctional relationship with yourself, as with other people. You don't love yourself. What is love, in your opinion?

    edit: It's no use trying to contemplate or think yourself to a sense meaningfulness, which you so desperately crave right now. Let it go for now. It will slowly reveal itself to you if you start doing things. Start by fixing the problems causing depression and anxiety.

    edit2: By "doing things" I mean doing things that put the broken mirror back together. Or in other words, get you closer to your authentic being.

  18. 4 hours ago, Bno said:

    He's popular among child conservatives who don't know any better. Crowder and Ben Shapiro also get propped up and paid by the same lobbyists who fund Republican politicians.

    Ben Shapiro is so sneaky. At first he resonates really well with young right leaning men by arguing pro gun freedoms, against gender pronouns, veganism, feminism, etc. But then tries to sneak in key establishment policies like war against Iran. I guess Crowder is the same, haven't listened to him.

  19. On 12/12/2019 at 0:29 AM, Bno said:

    The Democratic party's approval ratings are going down. Their real strategy is to defeat progressives that'll institute real change that'll benefit the people over corporations. This was made evident when the Clinton campaign and the democratic national committee (DNC) colluded to rig and cheat the primaries against Bernie Sanders in 2016. The same corporations that pay Republicans also pay corporate Democrats. The corporate Democrats like Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer voted for expansion in the Patriot Act while all this impeachment was happening and they also votes for several of his cabinet picks and increases in the already bloated military budget. What kind of resistance is that? I thought they said Trump was a monster and unhinged, yet they give him more surveillance and military power.

    Because the DNC is just as corrupt as the GOP and they get paid by the same people, they'd rather lose to a Republican like Donald Trump than win with a progressive like Bernie Sanders. 


    9 hours ago, Bno said:

    @Leo Gura I think they are also weak and we have to work just as hard to get them out and install progressive candidates. After all, they get paid by the same people that pay republicans, so the current system works for them. It's telling that they'd rather have Trump than Bernie Sanders.

    That's a good point which I kinda have missed. It really does seem that more effort goes into suppressing the progressive wing of the Dem party than winning against Trump. The same goes for the nationalistic wing of the republican party.

    Aside from a select few flashy superficial things, the important policies are identical for establishment Dem or establishment Rep candidate.

    I guess the endless impeachment drama is also there to reinforce the illusion that there's a difference between establishment Dems and Reps.


    The Democratic party's approval ratings are going down

    I think the plan is 4 more years of Trump followed by 8 years of establishment Dem presidency. 4 years is plenty of time to bring the ratings up again, if Trump makes a mess, which he will.

  20. Try not taking things at face value. I think they know the impeachment won't succeed.

    Possibly they only want to waste Trump administration's time and resources. They have already been doing this for the last 4 years in one form or another.

    Maybe they are playing the long game. They aren't trying to win the upcoming elections, they'll give Trump another 4 years. Then try to win after that. And in the mean time create as much distrust and dissatisfaction with the government, further divide the society and create chaos, and then appear as the "saviors". I'm not from the U.S but I think Trump's core supporters are growing dissatisfied with Trump as he hasn't done anything he promised and 4 more years of passivity will drive them desperate, looking for an alternative, which will oh so conveniently appear then.