• Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Posts posted by crab12

  1. 19 hours ago, Parththakkar12 said:

    Bolsonaro, Brazil's PM is also looking at this critically. He fears that local mayors will create their own little dictatorships in the name of COVID. Here's what he did:

    The youtube video is an NBC news video showing a Brazil hospital having a lot of COVID deaths and casualties. The bitchute video shows members of the Brazilian parliament breaking into the same hospital and exposing on camera that the hospital is empty and that the report is fake.

    What the actual fuck, this is very concerning.

  2. Thanks for sharing your insight, been thinking about fear too.

    6 hours ago, WaveInTheOcean said:

    If you are so unlucky to have become a traumatized adult due to insane neglect/lack of love during early childhood

    lol, I think this is the norm not the exception.

    What I've come to is that fear is the reaction you have towards something you perceive as a threat to your self. You feel the emotion of fear and you push that thing away from you. Fear is the opposite of love.

    What's interesting is that there is A LOT of shame attached to fear. In spiritual circles fear is considered bad and I dunno about women but men especially think that if you feel fear then that is very very bad because you are a coward if you do. So they try hide the fact that they feel fear and put on a fake courageous / loving act. While in reality that's absurd because nobody is invulnerable and there's nothing wrong with perceiving danger and trying to keep your self safe.

  3. 1 hour ago, sure said:

    -i think that i should value more friendships and choose people who choose me 

    -at the most core of our being we're social animals

    There's more to it than just "cuz we social animals". At the core, an intimate friendship is two consciousnesses recognizing each other. The other is not just a biological unconscious meat machine, but it is an awareness, like me, it is exactly like me, only from a different perspective.

    There's no logical evolutionary reason why a goldfish and a human should be friends like this:

    It's two consciousnesses recognizing each other, no matter how different, and it feels really awesome not to be alone in this world and to share the experience.

    edit: all of you have plenty of experience with toxic relationships. Shame and traumas pervert relationships. Friendship's weren't toxic originally.

  4. @freeman194673 It's that other groups look out for each other while whites don't. Yes it's unfair that when a white guy gets killed in a humiliating way it's the crickets but when the same happens to a black guy it gets worldwide news coverage. But it's just them looking out for each other and they don't consider you a part of them. Stop expecting others to stand up for you and stand up for your self.

  5. On 6/5/2020 at 5:03 PM, Preety_India said:

    This is a  white man. Shouldn't the white community create an outrage over this. I mean I would expect them to. But they didn't. A lot to think about in it.

    There's no white community. Whites feel ashamed of themselves and are isolated and forming a "white" community would be the worst evil in their eyes. They think if they act good then others will stand up for them.

  6. If you think in terms of one group vs another then green advocating for violence makes sense. "Green" is just a collective of people with shared interests in conflict with another group of people whose interests are in opposition to theirs. Violence is just a tool to hurt the enemy and advance your interests. I guess some "greens" have an ideological stance against violence but in the end ideology and principles are fluff and what matters are people's actual needs and everyone understands this deep down. Actual needs always trumps ideology and principles.

    The reason you would be hesitant to use violence is because you see other as you. You see that you would be literally using violence against yourself, not figuratively but literally. This recognition is so rare, almost no one thinks this way. SD recognizes this as the line between green and yellow.

  7. That's great that you have continued meditating, and that the addictions haven't totally wrecked your life. I can relate to your experience of always being addicted to something, i used to binge eat insane amount of junk food, or when I watched a new show I had to stay up all night and binge watch 3 seasons in a row, porn, video games, etc.

    21 hours ago, youngonce said:

    I am currently 200ish pounds and 5'11. The most I ever weighed was in 2015 when I tipped the scales at 220ish pounds. I was suicidal then and sought out therapy that I attended on and off for 5 years with a social worker.

    Your current weight is not bad at all.

    Anyway what I found was that all addictions  have 2 motivations behind them: pleasure and escapism. And that I was never able to force myself to stay away from the substance. Whenever I felt the pull towards it, I could keep myself away from it max 1-2 days, then I would always relapse into a disgusting binge. I beat my addictions when I finally got to a mental state of not actually wanting the substance any longer. Like there was no longer an internal conflict inside me - one part wanting it and another part trying to keep myself away from it. 100% of me didn't want it any longer.

    Pleasure is the easier one IMO. Say I get a craving for a gallon of ice cream, then I imagine myself eating the whole gallon and receiving the pleasure. I vividly imagine the pleasure of eating ice cream. I can see that that is all there is to it - it's just a sensation in the body, and it last for such a short while, the moment ice cream runs out the pleasure is gone. Doing this "ruins the surprise" and ice cream doesn't seem as tempting any longer, because all I get is this momentary sensation of pleasure, which I don't actually care about. Then I can ask myself, is the sensation of pleasure, that I would receive from eating the ice cream, worth it? And the answer almost always comes up "no, I don't care about the pleasure of eating ice cream, I want to do what I actually want to do in my life, fuck ice cream." And at that point the craving fades away.

    Escapism was much more difficult. I used to have ridiculous general anxiety, social anxiety, people pleasing, low self-esteem. I felt completely alone, isolated, trapped in life. I hated living. I wanted to escape from this nightmare. And the addictions provided the escape hatch I was looking for, so I would just indulge in them because they let me forget reality. It took me a lot of work to get to a state of mind that I no longer wanted to escape from reality. I want to be here now, I don't want fantasy or escapism and it feels like a waste of time at this point. What are you trying to escape from? Is there some pain or emptiness or anxiety you are trying to get away from?

  8. On 4/3/2020 at 10:00 PM, lifeisagame said:

    @crab12 I have thought this before, but I think some of it is neuroticism too. Being naturally empathetic shouldn't lead to low self-confidence and low self-esteem surely? 

    Sure, it doesn't lead to it by itself, but it makes you more susceptible to low self-esteem. A normal person would only feel slight background anxiety and would probably just ignore it, but the same thing for an empath would cause intolerable suffering and pain and would be impossible to ignore.

  9. On 3/26/2020 at 5:29 AM, Swagala said:

    I've had these ideas and desires as to some of the things that I would want to experience in life but because I've believed that there's just not enough time, I've been suppressing these desires.

    Everything takes sooo much time. Not having enough time is a very real problem.

    On 3/26/2020 at 5:29 AM, Swagala said:

    I've been using spirituality to be okay with the belief that I can't do the things that I want to and can't experience the things that I want

    Spiritual teachers say things like "you don't need anything to be happy" and "just be in the present moment". This combined with your personal experience of not getting what you want out of life because there's not enough time. I mean it totally seems like the logical conclusion to draw here is that one should use spirituality to give up on your desires and be okay with never getting what you want out of life. Certainly many spiritual teachers lead their students astray like this.

    Spirituality is all about getting rid of your illusions and getting closer to reality. Which also means removing your mental inhibition and expressing yourself authentically. And a big part of expressing yourself authentically is creating the things that you want to create in the external world, so to speak. Right now you are using spirituality to inhibit yourself and therefore distancing yourself from reality and authenticity.

    On 3/26/2020 at 5:29 AM, Swagala said:

    And that shit has been giving me HORRIBLE HORRIBLE self-esteem issues.

    That part of you knows that you are wasting your life energy. No amount of meditation or "surrendering" or self-talk or whatever spiritual practice is going to make it any better, because that part of you is not stupid, it can literally see you sitting on your ass not doing what you are supposed to do. That part of you wants you to start taking action, start doing things, making shit happen.

    Anyway, to move forward you need to see that you do have enough time to do what you want and that it's possible. But me just saying that here isn't going to convince you. Can you bring some specifics about your goals and why do you think there's not enough time?

  10. @Viking It's never the case that you purposefully sabotage yourself. There's always a hidden motivation to protect yourself / benefit yourself in some twisted way. It just looks like self-sabotage on the surface.

    26 minutes ago, Viking said:

    just let go of the resistance. i feel even though i have all those negative emotions im almost as aware of my emotions as on a meditation retreat, so ill just try to let go of the resistance.

    Yes, the reason you can't do what you want is because you have massive internal resistance aka you are internally conflicted. You are like a boat where half of the oarsmen are rowing in one direction and the other half in the opposite direction, so you just spin in around circles going nowhere. To save you from a wall of text watch this:


  11. 12 hours ago, GreenWoods said:

    How does focusing on your toe happen? I would say it's a result of a feeling, emotion, thought or sensation.

    If I hit my toe on the table leg then my focus automatically jumps to it. But other times I can't pinpoint it to anything. It can be totally detached from the normal human experience. That's why I think there is free will.

    12 hours ago, GreenWoods said:

    The way I make sense of it is this:

    Imagine a jellyfish. The jellyfish head is the Godhead and each tentacle is one indivdual self plus its peception bubble. The whole jellyfish is God. Whenever the jellyfish head (=Godhead) focuses on one tentacle (= being incarnated in a human body) it believes that it is that tentacle. When a tentacle 'awakens', the jellyfish head realizes that it is the whole jellyfish, but while it is still focusing on one tentacle, it perceives/experiences only that tentacle. If it wants to perceive/experience another tentacle, it needs to stop focusing on that tentacle (=physical death for that human body) and start focusing on another.

    I like your explanation very much. Haven't thought about it like that, but it's super intuitive to think about it like this. If I am focusing on my book then at the same time I cannot perceive my phone, and vice versa. Same with the bubbles of perception. This means, at some point, "I" am going to experience the life of every being that has ever existed and ever will exist. Nice.

    I kinda intuit that this is the truth, or closer to it than what I previously had. This truth would make me a lot more considering towards others. I can already feel it.

  12. 22 hours ago, LfcCharlie4 said:

    @crab12 If you've truly seen through the illusion of the separate self, Free Will is a non-issue, there is no self for there to be Free Will. Free will only is relevant if you still believe yourself to be a separate entity, even if you theoretically know you are not. (also describes how we shouldn't excuse things by using Neo-Advaita/ a veneer of Non-Duality) 


    I very much enjoy how Rupert Spira explains things things, thanks I'll check it out when I get the chance. In your everyday life experience, do you feel that you are watching a movie with no control over how things progress? I understand the reasoning behind no free will, but that would be a blatant denial of my experience of life.

    20 hours ago, GreenWoods said:


    But how is your awareness directed at something? Isn't that just the result of influencing factors?

    By "directing my awareness" I mean the most basic process of focusing on your little left toe, then on your nose, then on your right butt cheek etc. What create actual changes in the direction of my life are realizations. And realizations happen not from new input from external world, but by focusing inwards, away from external stimuli, away from thoughts. It very much feels like the realizations come from a state of non-influence, from somewhere else.

    20 hours ago, GreenWoods said:

    In my experience, this individual consciousness has no control or influence, it just is, and observes/is conscious of what happens.

    How do you describe your life experience? Is it like watching a movie?

    Also, what's on your take on the phenomenon that "you" cannot see "my" field of vision or hear "my" thoughts? Even if you see through the illusion of separateness the gap still remains. No matter how high consciousness you reach, the gap still remains.

  13. 18 hours ago, GreenWoods said:

    If that is the case, then it would make sense that generally speaking, the deeper your awakening = the deeper your embodiment = the more altruistic you become. Wouldn't it?

    Your reasoning makes sense to me, and is supported by what I've noticed from real life experience of myself and others.

    1 hour ago, Prabhaker said:


    Without those Rolls Royces they would not have asked a single question.

    And meanwhile I will go on pouring other things in their minds. Without those Rolls Royces they would not have asked a single question.


    ~ OSHO

    Notice that Osho himself sees the Rolls Royce's as a form of altruism, so to speak. Their purpose is to spark the interest of the unenlightened masses, to get the foot in the door. Can't say I disagree with Osho on that, on Youtube, inane boring garbage gets 100M's of views while Leo's new videos get less than 50k views.

    It seems that different people have different understanding of "altruism" and then demand each other to conform to their version of "altruism".

    18 hours ago, GreenWoods said:

    I assumed without investigating that the body has free will. I thought, as there is no ego then the body must have free will. But how can the body have free will? What exactly would have free will? I feel like this free-will thing is only possible with some seperate entity having it, which obviously doesn't exist. Therefore I think that the 2. possibility (influencing factors + randomness) is most likely how it works. Or as close as I get to with my current understanding.

    You see the body as a machine that processes the inputs and delivers the logical output. I too used to assume that I have free will, I think most ordinary people think that they have free will. Then a lot of progress later, with horror, I recognized the machine-like quality in myself and recognized there is no free will and no control over behavior, the body just executes on the patterns in the mind. Then even more progress later I noticed I do have some control, by directing my awareness, I can choose which patterns the body executes on, influence the end result of the pattern, and gaining more and more control.

    Currently, I think that there is free will again. Just from my own life experience. And the (fuzzy) rationale behind it is that, the magic bubble which is "me", and separate from yours (in the sense that I can't hear your thoughts, see your field of vision, or feel your emotions - the way I can with my own), is a fragment of the infinite mind. It thinks it is separate and has forgotten about oneness, but it's actually a part of the whole, and therefore it has inherited free will of the infinite mind.

  14. Sounds very much like the problem lies in a lack of vision, especially when you said this:

    36 minutes ago, ShardMare said:

    Should I reward myself after, like after 4hr study 1hr video game

    Do you think super hard working successful people reward themselves for work? Obviously not, the work itself is rewarding.

    3 hours ago, ShardMare said:

    I quit porn, started exercising, i started studying everyday for 4 hrs, i dont listen to much music, i dont watch stupid videos on yt, i cleared everything i dont need

    These are good for productivity but taxing on your energy. What's the result your trying to create?

    Having a vision for your life, which gives you butterflies in the stomach feeling, does wonders to your energy levels. If you have no purpose then you aren't going to have much energy either, because why?

  15. I see 3 traps come up.

    First. You feel that you are being pressurized into altruism: "If you don't give your money away then you are unenlightened!! Come talk to our cool enlightened club when you are a homeless bum." You should definitely not give into this pressure of putting on an altruistic act. Also I feel that the word "altruism" has an implication of self-sacrifice in it. If at some point you begin to see others as you, then helping others won't seem like altruism or self-sacrifice to you, because you are literally acting in YOUR best interest while doing it. It only appears "self-sacrificing" to others. You will want to do it, but if you don't then you don't, and it's pointless to put on an act.

    Second. You worry that if you don't live like a hermit then others will judge you as unenlightened. It is irrelevant how you appear to others. What matters is you being true to yourself and expressing yourself authentically.

    Third. Pathological altruism. Other people inhabit a bubble of magic too, the same kind you have to experience your life in. They have free will and they are able to provide for themselves and manage themselves. And they are in a much better position to do so than you. I don't want others be a drain on my life energy and take advantage of my generosity. I don't want co-dependent relationships and I don't want to play mommy to other adult humans.

  16. @LfcCharlie4 That is solid advice. I hate it too when someone acts superior, especially with the spiral dynamics model.

    2 hours ago, LfcCharlie4 said:

    Also, please don't demonize money on your journey

    Oh yeah I recognize this, I have done this. Especially asking people for pay in return of my service or making a business profit feels like its "bad" for whatever silly reason. It's very common, rich people are generally hated because of this, just on this fact alone that they made a significant amount of money. It's assumed they stole the money, while they are overlooking the fact that the most profitable business is WIN-WIN, meaning you create value, not just take it from others.

  17. 1 hour ago, GreenWoods said:

    But if one keeps money which one clearly doesn't need, then I guess that's because enlightenment hasn't been fully integrated and embodied yet.

    Yup, that's exactly what my intuition was telling me and where I wanted to lead this conversation.

    1 hour ago, GreenWoods said:

    but there is a guiding principle: If your awakening is total, than you are also aware of Love. And Love chooses to help others rather than to live selfishly or commit suicide.

    Very nicely put, I also had love in mind when starting this thread. Since love means that you choose to take another as a part of you, which also means that you truly see their best interests as your own. Kinda like a mother does things for her child, not because she wants something back from the child, but because she loves her child and genuinely wants what's best for the child without seeing this as a self-sacrifice or a means to extract value back from the child later on.

    Only that you would see everything in this light, including your own needs and your own body.

  18. 30 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

    The squirrels in my yard collect and hoard nuts. These squirrels are egoless. Why don't they give all their nuts to the squirrels in my neighbor's yard?

    I think that in their perspective, it is not in their best interest to give their nuts away, and outside mating season / reproduction they don't care about the well-being of other squirrels. But what is this "ego" that humans have and squirrels don't, in your opinion?

  19. @Chakra Lion It would be highly impractical and a burden to others, or a burden to yourself, as an enlightened being would see this.

    50 minutes ago, Chakra Lion said:

    @crab12 What would you do? Trust?  Thank you for the nice brain teaser! 

    From the human perspective, I would not give my money away because I don't want to (I agree with your reasoning that it would be impractical, though I think in the end it boils down to my personal free will choice of I don't want to do it). But if I finally experienced oneness in a stable way and saw that other is me then perhaps this would change what I wanted to do, this is what I'm curious about.

    49 minutes ago, Nahm said:

    @crab12 You’re conflating. The absolute “perspective” can’t be deduced from the relative perspective. It’s important to note the mixing for the sake of clarity...noting the flip of the reference to “you” in the questions. It flips from “you all that is” to “you are a person” in your perspective, rather than “in the world”. The ego isn’t something ‘found in brains’, it’s the universe. It is like a riddle answered by there being no riddle.

    Ahhh okay, so the absolute perspective of “you all that is” is not true. Closer to reality would be just the universe or everything, as there is no personal "you", just what is, the personal is the ego. Did I get that right?

  20. 54 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

    @crab12 Enlightement is not end of your life you still live like before i dont know where do you got the idea that you dont need money etc. Its the same but will lot less suffering...

    I see, only the perspective changed. Do you feel more altruistic than before? Do you still value luxury and nice things for yourself?

    1 hour ago, purerogue said:

    Depends what ego death you are talking about ,so called "Enlightenment" ego death does not mean ego death in literal sense, you as you are not ego any more, but body is still body , so it still does what it does. 

    I personally see "ego death" as the recognition that there is nothing that is not you (this is on thoughts level only though, without psychedelics and in a non-peak-experience way I can see myself as pure awareness or other times I forget myself as the human I'm supposed to be). I'm interested in whatever way others see enlightenment or "ego death" and how it changed their behavior.

    55 minutes ago, fridjonk said:

    @crab12 Osho had a lot of 2nd chakra stage red shadows, money and sex just to name few. Most enlightened people have some form of shadow lurking in some corner. And you also have to survive in this material plane, enlightened or not. And the thing is, while giving and helping people might seem like the "right thing" to do; it's already perfect as is. You judge it from your human perspective. This creation is perfect.

    Interesting, from the human perspective then, do you do things because you judge them as being non-perfect or what is your motivation to do things from the human perspective? But from the absolute perspective, you would do nothing, because everything already is perfect? Lol, that sounds like some kind of a riddle, but humor me on this.

  21. The standard thing low conscious people say to the enlightened is: "if you're sooo enlightened and egoless, why don't give all your money to me? Checkmate!" I used to think that that was such a dumb and insulting thing to say and the answer was obvious. But now, a lot of progress later, it got me thinking, well why don't you?

    Classic example is Osho, reporters would always ask him "why do you have 92 Rolls Royce's?" and he would deflect the question with something like "because you could ask me LOL". If one saw that he is one with everything and that the best interests of everything else is his best interests as well, then surely 92 luxury cars, just to troll the journalists and outsiders, would seem like a wasteful use of wealth / value.

    This is a question to people who have experienced ego death, I don't mean to be insulting, I am genuinely interested, why do you not give your money away to the needy or to some greater purpose? Why do you still care about your "ego" based needs (if you do)?