Yeah it's pretty common. It's a purification process many people have to go trough on the spiritual path.
I also thought at some point it won't ever stop but after about 2 years and lots of work, it stopped. Like @OctagonOctopus said, it's about finding balance.
Whenever it happens, try to enjoy it and fully engage with it. You want to feel into your body, release all tensions and kind of fall into yourself.
There are many techniques to work with that energy like: Breathwork, Psychedelics, Hatha-Yoga and Meditation (those are to ones I used).

Hi all,
I'm not sure who to come to about this as I feel it is a unique situation. 
I'll preface this by being upfront in saying I'm not sure I'm 100% anti-suicide. I think life goes on, and maybe it's actually part of people's path, something themselves and those affected were meant to experience and learn from. From experience, I think allowing people the space to fully go into this feeling can provide tremendous growth that may be hindered by the knee-jerk reaction of most people to freak out and just tell people to "get help", to get institutionalized, medicated.. societal tendencies to be terrified of death, to not want to be responsible for another's death, leading to many living half-lives and not fully facing their demons. That said, I think it's a tragic waste of conscious life, and I really fucking don't want my brother to kill himself. 
My brother, 45 y/o, has been battling severe Lyme disease for the past 20 years. It went untreated too long and he feels his entire jaw/cheekbones/sinuses are infected beyond any treatment, as he's tried just about everything. He has to sauna for 2 hrs daily to get the toxins the bacteria produce out or the pain is unbearable. I know this sounds like not a huge time sink or price to pay for living, but it's become hell for him. I've tried to make him see that suffering can be a result primarily of the stories the mind makes, encouraged him to pursue meditation more, but it's hard to do without invalidating his experience. Maybe I should be blunter and direct but nobody else in the family has much compassion for him or even believes he's as sick as he claims to be. He has been living with my parents and feels guilty about being a weight on them, but is also just mentally exhausted and depressed from this journey. Only this year has he stopped the endless, taxing attempts at curing the Lyme.
He has concurrently developed himself spiritually as much of his healing attempts have purified/evolved his energy body, and been going into some deep "game" with reality/energies where he feels he is given sort of clues by the universe and feels he is sort of "building" something for the afterlife. He won't go into details with me as he thinks it would spoil it for me if I end up getting into the same thing. I don't think he's crazy but I do wonder whether during his darker times he got connected with some weird/trickster energies that could be taking him for a ride (He mentioned knowing someone who seemed to be going through the same thing but then seemed to go insane and dropped contact with everyone). He is an incredibly intelligent guy and sees the world/symbols/data differently than anyone I've seen, so it's not surprising that he thinks he's on the brink of "winning the game" of reality even though he also sees the foolishness in that concept. It's very tied up in hopes for a better afterlife/next life. This seems to have given his life purpose up until recently as he feels he has been stuck on something for a few years, and suspects he has hit sort of a karmic limit. 
I have been trying to convince him to try a change of environment, offered him my apartment, offered to send him to different types of healing centers, but he is resolute that his body is just done, and he wants out. He knows he could perhaps live another 30 painful years but thinks he's unable to work, is unable to get a disability because Lyme isn't recognized for that in Canada, and he just has no hope for any relief of his chronic suffering. "It's not a matter of if, but when", he says as he has no plans of continuing past dementia setting in. He is definitely being a bit selfish about the effect it would have on the family, but my (Christian) mother has also been trying to guilt him out of this idea which is its own form of selfishness and not helpful. Because of this, I've tried to just be someone he feels safe talking to. I've come close to suicide in the past and it was very life-changing to come close and choose not to, so rather than trying to explicitly talk him out of it I've just wanted to help him through it in hopes he would come to the realization on his own that it's not the answer...I feel strongly that it's not the answer for him right now in the bad headspace he's in, but at the same time I can't imagine what he's going through and I honestly can't yet bring myself tell him to toughen up and get through it, let alone commit him to a mainstream medical professional as most of the culture would suggest...I've tried to make him see that maybe it's not an accident that he's experiencing this, that his strength is what allowed him to live this reality and it could be happening for him in a way he doesn't yet see..but he has a more pessimistic view of reality, hardheadedness and plenty of bitterness as well. 
I have tried to be there for him as much as possible and felt like it was something that would pass if he took a break from the treatments, or thought it was at least years away, but I think he's planning it for within the next few months. He sat down with my dad to tell him his plans, who tried to assure him the money to support him wasn't a problem, but ultimately didn't try to talk him out of it as he has a way of withdrawing just trusting God. This made my mom start telling my whole family how serious it is and he's been even more stressed and overwhelmed by everyone reaching out to him with sympathy and concern. He must fear an intervention or something because he asked me to hold onto something for him for a week...it's a container full of hydromorphone..I suspected he was already equipped, and now I feel I'm actually very responsible for his life. Yet I don't know how where the line is...he would easily get more from the dark web if I didn't give it back to him...but I honestly don't know how I could give it back to him. I also don't know if I could use it to get him committed somewhere, that sounds like the cruelest thing I could do. Is there some facility that's actually really nice and understanding, that has a sauna and professional counselors who are somewhat "woke", not just clinging to life, trying to keep people alive at all costs even if suffering? Is there anything else I can do?

No.
But also what you will realize if you become conscious enough is that chakras are imaginary.
Being really conscious and raising your kundalini are distinct and seperate things. You can have one without the other.

I understand some of you feel that way, but I am not here to be who you think I should be.
I see that many of you are into this idea and are frustrated that I don't indulge your ideas of how an ideal guru is supposed to behave. But at some point you will understand that consciousness and love can be expressed in many different ways, not just as a bleeding heart.
To me, mind IS heart.
But I know what you mean and I understand why you want it. But from my POV what you want of me would not be true to who I authentically am. The more conscious I become the more authentic I act, but the more it turns some of you off because it does not fit your image of some happy go lucky blissed out feminine guru who personally loves you.
I don't personally love you. I love you in a deeply metaphysical way which you probably do not feel or understand. And I am not going to try to fake a personal love for you to fit some stereotype of the ideal guru.

This is spot on hahaha amazing summary.  So this really comes down to "exploring altered states of consciousness" vs "enlightenment"  the 2 overlap but they're not exactly the same.  I tend to lean towards enlightenment work and Leo consciousness work. So it's actually a sweet combo for people who are interested in both.  And although we disagree on some parts of the Path I do have a lot of respect for Leo's fearless approach to exploring altered states of consciousness.
I'm willing to try psychedelics more yes but I haven't felt a calling for it yet.
But like I said in there, ego is altered states. Mystical experiences either on psychedelics and meditation is altered states. Natural state is an un-altered states of consciousness.  But that does not mean you can't explore altered states from the Full Natty State. But the thing I wanted to point out is the difference between the 2, since most people confuse enlightenment with exotic states of consciousness.
 
I myself made this mistake before gaining access to the Natural State, as it is impossible to know what ________ is like from both the altered state of self and Self: individual mind and Universal Mind. Now the Natural State is the ______ that "manifest both", a place where one sees clearly and directly that at the "microscopic level" of sensations both are just different reconfiguration of energy and sensations that are dependently arising.
Ps. I also agree with you about being attached to getting to psychedelic states sober but since then I've let go of this. I see both meditation and psychedelics as both just being tools for dissolution and their effects the side effects and by products.  This does NOT mean you can't explore those content. Even post Awakening one can still go back to previous stages and explore their nuances.
But interestingly stated in the video after Realization of No-Self and cleaning out most of my conditions, it is impossible to even call up Jhanas anymore or access Kundalini energies because even jhanas and "chakras" are the by products of the stratums of mind getting dis-embedded and released.
But if you want to get technical the moment to moment experience of the Natural State is very close to the 6th jhana of Infinite Consciousness (Buddha-Mind/Super Witness/One Mind) and the 9th jhana of cessation.  The difference being pre-Realization there was still a 'center' perceiving this field of Infinity, post Awakening the center is dissolved, hence you vanish and die into the present moment to "manifest" all of 'Reality'
'Wisdom is knowing I am nothing,Love is knowing I am everything, and between the two my life moves.' - Nisargadatta Maharaj sums up the dark light of the Absolute perfectly. 
 
This also mirrors my conclusion that the Natural State/"Buddhahood" is the transcendence and merging of "arhat" and "bodhisattva", where the former is the emptiness/Nothingness/Death/Non-Being phase and the latter is Universal Compassion/Love/Being.  
But of course I'm not talking about the historical Buddha...“There is Buddha for those who do not know what he is really. There is no Buddha for those who know what he is really.” That is, Buddha exists for those who still need an ideal image to aspire to in order to get enlightened, but he doesn’t exist for those who no longer need such a mental prop. The exactly same thing can be applied to God.  
 
 
 
 

Like what I posted to Leo, the combination of everything...Vipassana, self inquiry, Dozgchen, psychedelics, yoga and even other more unconventional methods like breathing, weightlifting, writing, making videos, even doing pick ups, everything you've ever done in your life contributes to awakening  I think this is what me and Leo have in common, neither of us stick to one particular method or path, Guerrilla path it is lol but for some people sticking to only one method  works better so you just gotta see what works for ya

At the end what we're talking about is the distinction between Love and Death, emptiness and form. Interesting there is a difference "vibe" to people who's Realizations are leaned towards one side vs another.  Some Realized beings seem more "dead" than others, some are more fluid and bouncy, and are oozing out Love.  The ones who have both have the reflexivity to shift back and forth between extremes. THis is rare. Perhaps most people simply have not taken their particular method to the very end point, so the circuit does not complete itself.  All dots need to be connected to any other point, and all points penetrate themselves through and through. This was exactly what was experienced during my moment of awakening.   

Certainly not.
You are not conscious of what Love is.
- - - - -
Actually I disagree with this Vipassana approach. It's too reductionistic. I understand what you are saying: you can deconstruct experience into discrete sensations and so forth as Vipassana loves to do, and this can be very useful and liberating. But this is not the same thing as a holistic consciousness of what things are. It's the spiritual equivalent of saying that the physical universe is nothing more than atoms. And this not correct. There is an understanding beyond the sum of its parts. Which is precisely why Vipassana people are not God-realized. They don't know what God is because you cannot know God by breaking experience down into atoms. I would further say that you cannot know what Consciousness is that way either.
There is a holistic infinite intelligence to Consciousness which is not any of its parts.
God is not any one sensation, nor can it be said to be just another experience among all the other experiences, like a table or a dog.
It is sort of like one who cannot recognize a human as a human because one insists on only seeing it as a bunch of cells. And what I'm pointing out is that something very important is missed in that approach. In fact, THE most important thing is missed. The goal should not be to atomize consciousness, but rather to interconnect it all infinitely to reach the highest understanding.
People like Shinzen Young, who spent 40 years in Vipassana deconstructing sensations are not God-realized. I questioned him very carefully. He does not understand what God is. He's a sweet and beautiful man, but God-realized he is not, and I don't want you to get trapped in that way.
People like Daniel Ingram also do not understand what God is -- even though Ingram has extraordinary technical meditative skill. Technical meditative skill is not good enough. Losing the ego is also not enough. What's missing is a holistic universal comprehension achieved by Infinite Mind. The Universe can grasp itself using its own Infinite Intelligence. And Intelligence is not any one sensation so you will never find it if you insist on only looking at individual sensations. It is the classic problem of missing the forest for the trees. Vipassana is like studying trees with a microscope and never seeing the forest.

@Leo Gura Oh and another thing that I can do is when I hear a certain sound that sounds like a part of a some song, music, sound I know(or heard before), I can play the full song, sound in my head with it sounding almost real.

This is something that people do all time time. Becky and Alice get together for a reunion 20 years after highschool. Becky traveled the world. Alice settled down and had kids. Becky makes Alice question whether she missed out. Alice makes Becky question whether she missed out. At the same time, they wouldn't really change anything, but they also aren't really fulfilled or secure somehow. They could be really good friends, and really expand each other's heart and world view in a powerful way, but getting together brings up so many comparative and "what if?" fears of missing out that they don't really enjoy seeing each other, because of their own thoughts about themselves.  
This is the common scenario with spiritual seekers. You can't EVER give full attention to all the amazing powerful methods out there, and you can't try abstaining from them at the same time. You have ONLY your inner resonance and guidance system, which knows which path is right for you at any given time. If you're feeling any fear of missing out at all it means you just aren't listening for it. It is Enough. You said "to me, it is incredibly enticing to approach a gate", but why do you equate "the gate" with psychedelics? Don't you think people cross thresholds and gates of all different kinds on a spiritual path because their heart lead them there? We all came to embody and explore unique manifestations.
If the DARE teachers really knew their shit and were woke they would have taught us, "really follow your heart, don't do drugs out of fear of missing out. Don't do ANYTHING out of fear of missing out. Do it because you love it, do it because you're called to it and really learn to listen closely for what you're called to. Then when it calls you will not hear anything else but it." 
The entire separate sense of self is just a fancy complicated appearing fear of missing out. When you are 100% sure and aligned and in love you have no fear of missing out. It's not at all about choosing the right thing, the right circumstances, or even knowing what you really want, but just listening openly. PHEW! What a relief!!!
That's always the case, all the time. It's always now, any thought of past is a thought happening now. 
See, innocence is never lost.  
 

I've lived in Seattle, Washington my whole life. I've liked city living, but as I get older (I'm 46 now) and more conscious, isolation and being in wilderness is way more appealing.
My grandfather died about a year ago. He was a multi-millionaire. I just now got the inheritance. $200,000, plus shares in multiple stocks, where I will be getting roughly $1,800 to $2,000 a month for the rest of my life. So the question now, is what to do with all this.
My idea is to buy as much land as I can in Washington state. I've found multiple options of between 60 acers to 100 acers of beautiful land within my price range throughout the state. The further out from civilization, the more land I can get. 

The plan would be to get 100 acres of secluded land, and build a number of shipping container homes on the land. Shipping containers only cost about $1,000-$1,500 each. And makes the perfect base for building a tiny-home. The pics below would be a basic design. Each one of these homes could be built for roughly $10,000 each. Solar for power. Rain-catching barrels and well for water. Starlink satellite internet and cell service. So pretty off-grid and self-contained. 

The idea would to build a space where like-minded individuals could either rent a house, like Airbnb, or to rent longterm to be in a community. I'd keep the rent on the units super low, to make it more manageable for people to stay in such a secluded area. Ideal for people that can work remotely or are retired. 

I could potentially use the space to hold various spiritual ceremonies, like Ayahuasca, 5-MEO, and mushroom ceremonies, for said like-minded peoples. Ideally, I'd want to be a haven for stage high-Green, Yellow, and Turquoise people.

So, what do you think, this is a good idea? Would you, or people you know, potentially be interested in living or staying in a situation like this? Do you think this would be a viable situation to make enough income through rentals to pay for itself with taxes and such? 
 

Yes
Be patient. Don't make any rash moves or decisions. With time you will integrate the insight and become more comfortable with it, until eventually it shouldn't bother you any more, and in fact you will be even enjoy it.
And there are many other interesting and important insights to have. So as you integrate one you can be ready for more existential mindfuckery. Cultivate a taste for mindfuckery and enjoy it
You are only Alone because we are all Together as ONE.

It's not so simple or clear-cut. There are many aspects of Truth which you get glimpses of over years and slowly come to embrace.
It's really a decade's long process of contemplating reality ever deeper and discovering more insights and facets.
Yes, those can be tough to accept at first. But as you get more exposed to it you start seeing it as a positive.

The issue of the reality of others is extremely touchy and fundamental because the ego self defines itself relative to "others". Without others there cannot be an ego. So the ego does everything in its power to maintain that construction. The ego cannot admit that it imagined its own mother. This admission would break the ego's reality into pieces.
The true reason you feel that others must exist is because you have fooled yourself into identifying as a finite biological self. If you think you are human, then of course you feel that other humans must exist. That's inherent to the definition of humans. And of course, as a human your survival is so deeply social that your whole life is pretty much defined by the existence of others. Giving up all those social games is extremely threatening. This is how your mind has your nuts in a vice: socially. Because without success in the social domain you are as good as dead.
People do not appreciate how existentially serious the social domain is. These are matters of life and death. But they are also purely imaginary. This makes for a deeply counter-intuitive mind trap.

I have triggered a condition known as PSSD by taking antidepressants. It stands for Post-SSRI sexual dysfunction.
The symptoms include Anhedonia (loss of all emotions / dopaminergic activity) as well as pleasureless orgasms & loss of libido.
This condition has also fucked with my hormonal profile.
Many people think it's not a big deal, while others say they would've ended it already if they were me. It's been 4 years.
I've tried mostly everything, there's no known cure to this condition and it has caused suicides.
I hate my life, no one is taking this seriously because it's a rare poorly researched issue.
I have talked to many therapists & seen a number of doctors. One told me they'd rather have cancer than be in my situation. Otherwise,
No one knows what to tell me.
I'm so exhausted, I don't know why I'm still here. This is inhuman. I feel as if I was stuck in a prison.
I can't help but replay the good careless moments of my childhood in my head, I envy that kid.
Life feels so empty, I keep dreaming about getting into a car accident or something like that. I wish life would end. Please.

Yes, it's actually a problem. It's hard to relate to how I used to be and how most people are. I have to actively think back to my past to remember where I started from and how much has changed.
We tend to underestimate how ignorant and unconscious and unhealthy we used to be once we do a lot of personal dev work.
To be honest, while on my 14 day fast right now, I am dreaming of drinking an fizzy ice cold Coke.
That thought had not crossed my mind in like 10 years.

Yes
99% of humans are in a non-enlightened state. Obviously. Just look at how they act. Like zombies and animals.
There is no contradiction. Non-enlightened states are still fully Absolute and Truth. The only difference is that the person is not aware of this fact. For example, when you are in dream state at night, you are conscious and you're aware of stuff, but you are usually not aware that you are dreaming. If you become lucid in your dream, now you are aware that you dreaming. But the dream is Truth regardless of whether you are lucid or not.
It's sort of like, you can have cancer, but that doesn't mean you know you have cancer. Think of Truth like hidden cancer. You have it but you don't know you have it until you awaken and realize, "Oh! Of course! Truth was always here the whole time. Why was I so blind?"
This issue is easily resolved with null state. The null state is what Buddhist aspire to and hold as the Absolute. The null state is of course Absolute, but it is no more Absolute than non-null states.
When consciousness is totally inactive, totally not dreaming, it enters the null state of pure formlessness. But it is a serious mistake to confuse this null state for "The Truth" or "The Absolute". That is a sneaky bias as now you identify with the null state more than all other states. In fact, the null state is not better than more important than any other state, including the state of total monkey mind.

Certainly that's part of it. But, no, it goes much deeper than that for me.
My brain is literally wired for psychedelics. Any psychedelic is 2-3x more potent for me than other people, and perhaps not just potency but also qualitative differences too. It's hard to compare qualitative differences so I can only speculate there.
Basically any starting dose of psychedelic for me is a crazy breakthrough. 2g of mushrooms, 120ug of LSD, 15mg of 5-MeO-DMT, 70mg of DPT, a few puffs of DMT, etc.
And at higher doses my trips are simply unreal in their strength and holism.
I've friends and others take psychedelics without anything near this reaction. I would say that their reaction is 10x less than mine would be at their dose. Not just less quantitatively but qualitatively.
To be honest, it feels like I was born on this Earth to consume psychedelics. Like God designed my brain specifically for that purpose. You can call that delusional, but I've tripped enough at this point to feel that there is a deep intelligence behind my discovery of psychedelics and I know for a fact that my spiritual journey would be incomplete without them. They were not some side-show or distraction for me. They were CORE to my spiritual growth.
Now, that does not mean you are the same. That may not be true for you.
All of my deepest wisdom came from psychedelics. I know for sure that I could not get it otherwise. Maybe some other people could, but I could not. And in the end I gotta do what works for me. But I suspect it will work for thousands of other people too. But not all people.

In certain narrow ways, yes.
I am exceptionally gifted with intuition and when my brain is combined with psychedelics. Neither of these things can really be taught. You either got it or you don't.

Over the past year, I've been failing non-stop with finding and keeping ANY kind of job that exists in this world. I've with researched countless jobs throughout the entire web online, I've asked countless people I know and people I don't know for any available jobs, my parents even tried everything they could to help me find any kind of job that will pay me any amount, I applied to hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds of jobs, etc., etc. Yet, I got turned down by all of jobs I applied for, and not one person has been able to offer me a job of any kind at all. The only exception was just one minimum wage job that I lucked up at Macy's. Unfortunately, I lost that job after working there for only 3 weeks, because of the coronavirus pandemic. Talk about horrible luck. I've tried revising my resumes over and over and over again and actually got a lot of help from numerous people on how improve it for various kinds of jobs, but none ended up helping me land any job. I've even tried going to a Toastmasters club that's near where I live in order to improve my overall charisma and speaking skills, and I've been consistently going to that club now for almost a full year. I thought that this would help me perform better with job interviews and have been making significant progress over the past several months in my overall communication skills, confidence, charm, spontaneity, persuasiveness, etc. Yet, my major long-term improvement in those skills still have not helped me improve my chances with succeeding in persuading anyone that I would be a good fit for any of the jobs I've applied to. Hell, I even tried consistently applying for months in earnest many of the tips and pieces of advice I got from a group of qualified panelists at a virtual seminar I watched and listened to months ago on how to improve Networking skills, Boosting Your Confidence, making a good or great lasting impression at any job interview. Sadly, none of it worked to improve my chances with getting any kind of job at all. 
I know. Some of you here may be thinking that I must be trolling because how ridiculous all of this is sounding considering everything that I've tried. I can't even get a job as a basic grocery bagger or food delivery man. I know the job economy has still not been good, but I honestly have never felt this hopeless about getting ANY kind of job let alone keeping one. Quite frankly, I am getting really scared that I may not be able to literally survive for long in the future. 

For example, you meet a girl at the club, it's late at night. She tells you she has to work tomorrow. If you were empathetic and concerned about her well-being you would let her go home. But the typical PUA will ignore all that and just manipulate her into going back home with him anyway, causing her to be late for work. He will try to boost up her state and seduce her such that she forgets about work and sleeps with him.
The bottom line is that you can accomplish more when you don't have to take into account the well-being or agenda of others.
See, the more conscious you become, the less you can get away with shit like that because it harms your own consciousness and integrity.
The cruel thing about consciousness is that the more conscious you become the more responsible you must be for the well-being of others, otherwise you create bad karma for yourself. So an unconscious PUA can rape a girl and not experience bad karma, but a conscious person cannot. That's the cost of consciousness. The closer you get to infinite consciousness the less evil you can be. There is a direct trade-off between selfishness and consciousness. Such that when you reach infinite consciousness you must literally cease to physically exist. Because even your physical existence is too selfish to hold infinite consciousness.

Why do you need someone to get you? As long as you get yourself, bask joyfully in that.
It's not like anybody gets me. Let others be blissfully ignorant. Focus on raising your own consciousness and bliss. Cultivate inner bliss so you feel good without anyone.
Developing a life purpose will also resolve the depression and suicidal thoughts. Besides awakening you need something productive to do with your life. You need to find a creative outlet.
Design the kind of life you would enjoy living. Don't sit around twiddling your thumbs. At your age you've got enormous potential, you can basically become anyone you want.

Best way I have found to transcend desires is to deeply satisfy them.
Yes, you can of course abstain from cravings and desires. But that rarely extinguishes them. They tend to come back.

I love the dream analogy, though, it works only to some extent.

Sara is dreaming Bob. There is dreaming happening, so Bob asks: "Why is lucid dreaming random? From those that have a deeper understanding of the Dream than me, why does it work this way? It seems so weird that the people that have chosen to step into complete Lucidity cannot just decide to awaken, but have to wait for some random moment.".

From the Bob's limited perspective it seems it's random and a dream character can choose lucid dreaming. Everything is Sara's imagination in the dream. How can we help Bob to lucid dream? We can't, since the separate Bob is just Sara's imagination. Sure, there are tools in the dream that may or may not help to see the Lucidity. Imagine we may turn off the appearance of the whole dream for a moment, or put Bob in a very different content of the dream. Will Sara realize that there is no Bob, that she can truly enjoy her dream since there is only Sara in the dream? Only Sara knows