Beginner Mind

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Posts posted by Beginner Mind

  10. Posted · Edited by Beginner Mind

    23 minutes ago, Parththakkar12 said:

    @Beginner Mind I would tell you to assume that a woman is the missing piece of the puzzle and go about creating your relationship. I'm going to tell you why.

    If you're starving for food and someone comes to you and tells you 'Materialism will not make you happy', will that make your hunger go away? No. If they tell you that 'You are not your body. Wake up to the illusion that you are and wake up to your true Absolute nature!! You won't feel hunger if you are enlightened, you will be able to leave your body.' you're going to be gone hunting for food before they even finish.

    Until you've achieved success, success does make you happy! The illusion, shall we say, that success will make you happy does hold until the point that you get it. Then, you get to see whether it makes you happy or not! If someone comes and tells you that materialism doesn't make you happy, all of that talk is pointless until you've achieved it. You get the picture.

    A part of you believes that a woman is the answer. The only way to find that out is to have your relationship! That's the trick with finding out whether it'll make you happy or not - you only know that once you've experienced it.

    You may be right: I might have to experience it for myself in order to understand.  Problem is, there don't seem to be many opportunities to date these days.

  13. Posted

    4 minutes ago, flowboy said:

    @Beginner Mind my harsh approach doesn't work well for everyone. Just know that I mean no offense. I'm trying to point at something here, which, if you fix it, will get you the real results with the ladies.

    Do you see it?

    Admittedly I didn't like your approach.  But I see what you're saying.

    In real life, I would easily admit my weaknesses to a woman, no problem.  But I wasn't sure if online dating is a different ballgame.  Will the humor/authenticity shine through as intended, or will she just assume I lack self-esteem?  I just don't know.  

  14. Posted

    2 minutes ago, flowboy said:

    @Beginner Mind

    So, while these teachers will say things like, "A partner will never fulfill you", the next moment you will see them holding the hand of their beloved partner...  Seems somewhat hypocritical to me.

    You mistakenly assume that the only reason to do something is out of need. Need for fulfillment in this case.

    If that were true, enlightened people would stop engaging with the world and calmly await death as a hermit.

    But that's not what they do, is it?

    The more enlightened you are, the better a vessel you are for God. And God wants not to do nothing! It fractioned itself into you and other people because it wants to experience! There are lots of forces that flow freely in an enlightened being, like the desire for creative expression, sharing, interacting, playing, loving!

    When you are done needing, life becomes the ultimate joyful playground.

    Why NOT have a partner?

    I'd be genuinely curious to know who in this world is entering into a relationship as "an expression of love" or whatever, and not as a means of attaining fulfillment.

  15. Posted

    11 minutes ago, flowboy said:

    You should also add: "I lack the balls to try out my own ideas without having them validated by a bunch of strangers.

    I don't trust my own brain, so you can't trust me either.

    I am not okay with myself in the following areas, so instead of learning to love myself I need you to do it for me: social skills, exercise"

     

    Weird thing for you to post tbh.  I don't see the harm in seeking out some opinions.

     

  16. Posted

    8 minutes ago, RendHeaven said:

    I think we both know that you're delusional (but also not!?) :)

    I'm still 21 but I've been in a committed relationship with my dream girl already - and the fact of the matter is, once she left me I was back to ground 0 with the same sense of emptiness inside as before and even during the relationship.

    Girls cannot fulfil you.

    Period.

    That being said, I also understand that lack of experience can suffocate your mental health. There is definitely something freeing about experiencing what you've been "missing out on."

    I think the healthiest way to forge forward into the future is to take risks and put yourself out there with the goal of having new experiences (with women), but ultimately keep in the back of your mind that none of this leads to true fulfilment.

    Strength from within.

    Wise words for a 21 year old. :)

    It's interesting to me that all spiritual teachers, the people we admire for being truly fulfilled and self-sufficient, even they develop romantic relationships.  Even Eckhart Tolle, probably the most non-needy self-sufficient human on the planet, has a partner.  So, while these teachers will say things like, "A partner will never fulfill you", the next moment you will see them holding the hand of their beloved partner...  Seems somewhat hypocritical to me.

    Ah well... I think I just need to embrace being alone.  Accept what is.

  17. Posted · Edited by Beginner Mind

    35 year old male here.  I've been a hermit for quite a while and haven't gotten laid in six years.  It's been ten years since my last serious relationship.  Everything has been going well for me from a spiritual perspective: From discovering my true nature as awareness, going deeply into the present moment, to surrendering to what is.  But at the same time, there is often a sense of lack, of loneliness, which I suspect can only be healed by meeting a good girl.  Am I delusional to think that a woman is the missing piece of the puzzle?  Should I just embrace being alone?

  19. Posted

    I'm thinking of joining a dating site and being upfront about my weaknesses (as a way of demonstrating authenticity).  Something like: "A little about me: I have terrible social skills and I avoid exercise like the plague."

    Would women appreciate the honesty/humor of it, or would they see it as me simply putting myself down and lacking self-esteem?

  25. Posted

    I was first introduced to this concept in Eckhart Tolle's book, "Stillness Speaks", in which he recommends listening to silence. 

    I've found that listening to silence leads to peace and even joy.  If you haven't tried this before, I highly recommend it.  Just sit in a comfortable position (I sit in a chair), at a time when there is no noise in your immediate environment, and simply notice the silence around you.  Really pay attention to it.  After doing so for a few minutes, you will begin to experience deep peace.  Give it a try.  You won't be disappointed.