Keyhole
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Posts posted by Keyhole
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I dislike her because she isn't authentic. I hate having to look at someone talking and know that not a thing they say they will actually be in line with how they really feel. Women like that are not doing that in order to make men feel better, they are doing it for another entirely different reason, under that guise.
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@somegirl Of course not, there are a lot of people with the same STD. It's not rare or deadly.
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I've noticed that there are a lot of weird art niches online where you can make some pretty decent money. This is really... how lucky for him! I could only dream of the same success.
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On 3/9/2021 at 4:27 PM, illbeyourmirror said:I recently watched a documentary on the late Zen master Wu Bong, and in it he says, “You didn’t choose when you’d be born, and you don’t choose when you’ll die, so what makes you think you can choose what happens in your life?”
And I read a quote today by Sadhguru that went, “Your life, your making. God does not interfere in it.”
And in the video by Leo on self-love, he says that self love doesnt mean that you’re just totally passive - that you take care of yourself in a conscious, mindful way. Which makes me think that god is absent/hands-off most of the time, and that we are in control of our lives.
Being honest here - it seems like spiritual teachers / speakers use the idea of free will willy nilly and loosely. One moment they're saying that everything is an illusion and that the body is an imagination, and the next moment saying our brains need to take care of our bodies
My idea up until this point has wavered between thinking that there is no such thing as free will (even actions you think you’re doing out of your free will are being controlled) to thinking that god - the force that holds everything in perfect unity - can catch you and fill you with its presence, if it’s right, when you’re truly falling.
Writing to get others’ thoughts on free will, and to see if Leo has talked about the idea more in depth in one of his videos.
The topic of free will has been on my mind a lot for quite a while.
Different past spiritual experiences seem to come to widely different conclusions, but I don't ultimately know for sure if we do have or do not have free will.
Some of these experiences seem to point towards having free will and others make it feel like there is ultimately no free will, and those experiences seem to be mostly at the top of the food chain. If I look around with the lens that there is no free will, then everything just Is.
I think of, cosmically, "All for you." From God, to you. And that your life is the gift. But you have to show up to receive it and that is your choice. But it also directs this, if you do or do not. And there is some greater plan. -
I don't know.
Maybe a craniosacral therapist would know the answer to this? -
I don't know how I would feel. I would probably not date someone who was clean because I would feel bad if they caught it and now has that as the constant reminder of me. Like getting a tattoo of someone's name on you or something.
But if I was in that position, I think it would hurt a lot. I'd be really sad, and then I would move on.
I guess my answer would depend on seeing how you are as a couple, is it a pretty good relationship in every other aspect? -
Idk... I would leave tbh. What if you get it and it ends up not working out, and then your own love life is ruined?
And there is no cure for it, either? Just my 2c. -
I prefer weed over other drugs, I tried a few things once or twice in my early 20's and didn't like any of them...
Weed is good. I use high thc concentrates; sativa and a coffee. It puts me right in my body, lets me think about things, clear my mind and I can get access to my higher self. I have had a lot of really life altering experiences from weed. Thanks for sharing op. I think weed is a great spiritual tool. -
QuoteThis woman passed away a long time ago. Felt waves of gratitude for this teaching. She reminds me of my mom, when she is calm. I thought of fears of death she might be going through at 72. She recently had a breast removed from cancer (doing well) and is getting a hip replacement, and knees following this. I worry because she does not believe in the afterlife, and dislikes spirituality and religion due to bad experiences from it in childhood, and is quite closed minded to it. I worry that she might have epiphanies related to karma, or that she might not. I worry that she will be afraid, having never really thought about death.
"Dropping the "I".
"I" was just thinking about that right before...
Notes:- There is no personal self. You don't exist.
- You will find a joyful peace - there is no "you" to be stressed or anxious.
- It is a choice - peace.
- Reactivity is way down, buttons could be pushed but it didn't matter.
- The only things that can push your buttons are things you believe to be true and if you look at them closely, you can understand that those beliefs aren't true.
- Do what it takes to clear out old false beliefs of "I".
- There is a lot more, without a Self to cloud vision things are seen for what they are.
When I move back I will have, hopefully, a good 5-10 years of general peace and contentment.
To be honest I don't really want to do anything. I would like to be more grounded, and continue to work on spirituality and I think that having some space in between my thoughts will give me a chance to grow and contemplate. I have gathered a lot from these past 5 years of introspection.
Summer is coming soon, and I can spend more time barefoot in the garden and heal.
I hope to spend all my time meditating and maintaining presence, coffee, tea, sunshine, and a lot of hiking, reading and making art and I plan on getting rid of 3/4 of my belongings. If possible, I would like to spend the next few years working on my health and practicing art and then when I have a decent style, to try and sell it at local art galleries. If I could find someone who sells skulls ethically, I could paint these.
I think, ultimately, something good could come from accepting powerlessness.QuoteNotes:
- I don't know what I want and I have reached a state of desirelessness.
later... Matt looks like he has high blood pressure.
I decided that I don't really vibe with Shunyamurti's teachings.
Note:
You bumped into more people; ignore it or you'll get stuck in that game of "burn the witch" again. It could be a place marker for increasing awareness.
Take note that most suggestions are a projection of some form; read it like a mirror and flip it around to unbind from others words while feeling/breathing into the gut. That 'is' the solution. It takes the charge out. You will never be triggered or fall of your path again.
Solution:
Ignore that completely and continue on with focusing inwards. When it happens again, within another context, you will finally have your proof of this siddhi - as it has happened so many times before, and there will have a pattern present, of: "Letting go, focusing inward. And then returning from that to find others around you dissatisfied with something." But this time you'll know better.What could happen; folks could continue attempting to write your narrative from the sidelines; but you will be mostly unaware... it might be a good thing because that could be something that would ultimately shed some light without any action on your part. Like, if you have another awakening and you get a veiled letter of discontent you can offer a regalized shrug as your form of tax payment for inherently existing to express yourself.
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I think it would be difficult to balance.
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Right? That's what I did! ((it helps))
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I always had my insights into freewill as being non-existent and that becoming more apparent when you get closer to source because you're stuck in place, no matter where you go in physical form, but are now aware of it - like a little bug stuck on the front window of a fast moving vehicle - they kind of look like lace angels.
And before that, you are a slave to your ego and all that outer activity is an illusion.
So where does that leave room for free will?
The only freewill there seems to be is to accept it all as openly as possible. That seems to be the only real choice available to us.
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QuoteWalked through old paradigm again, rape trauma has resurfaced.
What should I do?Moving out of the city in 3-4 months. Can't wait. Hopefully somewhere close to nature. I want to take the time to restart and get into a space of present awareness. Lots of walking. Hours. These past few days have been steeped in awareness. I did buy some weed. I'm going to smoke it for as long as I am stuck here, which isn't going to be too long and then figure something else out.
i really like the insights that it gives me.
I feel calm and detached - the things that I have learned have not been so terrible, either. Quite mild. I have returned to focusing on my journey, only to see comments here and there, but I'm removed from it; and untouchable.
The shaman on the yarn painting is activated "atm" - it says it knows how to open 5D Heart consciousness.Notes:
- We are living in bizarre times and it is perfectly okay to be overwhelmed.
- In order to find a method to help yourself, you first need to know which areas are distorted.
- Your life doesn't really belong to you, you are born with a predetermined set of personality traits; you have no control over it - you come here with no memory and that's what makes it difficult to handle and understand.
- Empathy and sensitivity drains empaths. Two awakening experiences; one into the nature of emotions, and one where everyone else is less sensitive and the consequences it has on the world they make you live in.
- Sensory overload in the city. Living with people and dealing with society.
- If you suck at being organized and decisive then life is going to suck.
- How to fix this: Identify what is going on inside of you and observe the thoughts and emotions that try to invade this empty space - whatever repeatedly comes up inside your consciousness, that is the root of your resilience problem.
- Build stress resilience, remove factors that lower your energy. Mushrooms can remove the stress (weed does this for me) - they let you out to see the big picture.
- Being scared is a disgrace to your true form.
- Inner peace.
Whenever I get worried about death, I usually watch this guy - his eyes hold a lot of awareness, I can see he has gone through the whole process, it rubs off on me.
I'm 'awake' this early morning. No attachments.
Notes for this below.Wait by the river. I like the visual, don't really care for the song tbh.
Top-left - yellow flowers, meadow, waist tall, dark without much light, ephemeral, contemplative, a sense of wading through and feeling limited from this - seems initially okay but not where I want to end up. Shortest lifespan and easiest to get stuck into by accident.
Center - guiding star, divine sight, river, solid crystalline path into interconnected meshed golden city. Always connected, but the lights never go out. Mostly service to Other, but would be cool to have an underground energy mafia of service to Self. Would be ideal for beginners or meeting with old friends.
Top-right - dragon flying, skimming across the water/cosmos, would be an existence with finding Others few and far in between, long durations flying in between destinations, very close to the pure mercurial source, you can float on it if you get tired - orbs of light bob on the surface of water and can offer sustenance and wisdom - you have a lot of time to contemplate, to exist, to Be. Long life-span in this world. I think it would feel like ice skating on a clear night.
Bottom-left - Back to source energy - not the destination I want.QuoteRamana Maharshi differs even more as he said habitual tendencies (vassanas) must be surrendered. Having talked to devotees, they have alluded to that desires are given up, supposedly because they serve a false entity. So when ego is seen through, these desires as well certain behaviours are dropped. A deep surrender occurs.
- Sam G
Quote"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
and rightdoing there is a field.
I'll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass
the world is too full to talk about."
– Rumi
(So true!) I don't really like it, though. It's "spooky".
I don't like the way everything around me seems to come to "life" and then I realize that consciousness is always aware of itself, witnessing itself, and my shadow reminds me of things that I don't fully feel ready for, but I also feel pressed to know.
Reality is so vivid and alive. It likes to trick me, prank me, and then show me how little I know of it. I want answers to things and that is ultimately the most important thing to me - thank God for that.QuoteThere's more than one way to skin a cat.
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QuoteQuoteBreathe, cold, another bad dream
Got mud on my face that I can't get clean
Feel whole, but I rip at the seams
If I can't get you away from me
Taking showers every hour and I choke on steam
Writing on the mirrors and the space between
All so tall, it broke the fourth wall
Guess our fairy tale had a few plot holes
Breathe, cold, another bad dream
(Another bad dream, another bad dream)
Breathe, cold, another bad dream
(Another bad dream, another bad dream)
Breathe, cold, another bad dream
Another bad dream, another bad dream
Another bad dream, another bad dream
Another bad dream, another bad dreamQuoteI have this exact demon/spirit/entity/familiar within me in how it manifests as my shadow; some sort of artistic-spirit-possessed thing. I feel like if I could be more creative, then my art style would have a similar sort of charm. Recently it returned in my hypnagogia and in a dream while staying with my family for a night. I tried to control its manifestation while falling asleep and chopped it in half with a sword. Where I cut, a jelly-like aquamarine liquid came out and then it dissolved like waving cloth in in the wind, but it came back in the dreamworld and gave me a nightmare that I don't remember too well. A lot of shadows, blacks, whites, greys and being in squared spaces on a shifting piece of pressed particle board. I could not see very far, either.
Something along the lines of: "Bring what is within outwards or it will destroy you." Something like that. I feel like I understood this person and what they were trying to express to their core in a lot of ways, and this was the validation that I needed that maybe, if I could set my sights on actually finishing my projects that it would help me work through some emotions.
I really, genuinely, feel that if I could get my inspiration back that I could create a few small things of similar caliber, and also psychologically put people in a similar state of mind + I find this thing to be really nerve-wracking and I am tired of running into it every time I let go. It seems to be following me around asking to be expressed somehow. Maybe if I could, then I would be rid of it forever, or transform it into something less creepy. I should try. I feel frozen, I spend a lot of time sitting in my chair trying to figure out how to take action. But I do feel like I am finding something.
Note to self: artistic people are fussy, weird and self-centered. Sensitive. They live for expressing themselves and see life in very strange ways.
Notes:
Quote"It's a good thing he painted.. otherwise he may have been a serial killer."
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Age of Existentialism -
"We do with our life what we can and then we die. What else is there, if this is Known... can it be reflected in their work?"
Chance and accident takes over. Gamble on the next brush stroke. The image would eventually create itself as it went along.
Taps into the unconscious: DARK, e x c i t i n g , guttural, twisted - where did thedarknesscome from?!
Hedonism. Coldness. I don't know, I wish it was safe to know. - Spirit of inborn masochism; corruption. Freedom. Risk. L a c k o f a u t h o r i t y . The Devil is cultured, uninhibited.
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Art
mirrorsthe animal within man. Visceral.c l o s esadism (sad-ism) -
???????????????????????? - When you are young, you don't have a preconceived notion of what is shocking, you just look at things to see if they are beautiful.
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"How are you going to trap reality?
How are you going to trap appearance without making an illustration of it? -
Painting "inside out"; a great love. How? Heart.
Only able to capture those who one knows very well or look at a great deal; analyzed and know the structure of the face; the soul. -
"The Work" can
be seenas a s e a r c h f o r G o d .
"You are painting not only the subject, but you are painting yourself as well as the object you are trying to record."
"I'm afraid of violence, but I have often been submitted to it."
Cricuciftion.
Quote?? ????? ???'? ???? ?????? ???????? ?? ?? ???????? ?? ??? ??????. ?
"Spectacles":
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Notes - I don't always agree with everything she says, but she does make a lot of good points usually :
- There is a structure to reality. You are here to learn to evolve into yourself. A potential, a program within, a growth path. Express and nourish this. A continual unfolding of you, and this feels good in life.
- No longer tied into consensus reality, illusions of what will make you happy or needing success. Live according to your reality, you are here to be you.
- What we need to thrive, to express our potential is something that only we can figure out for ourselves. There are programs and conditionings that tell us that this is what it takes to survive and those are wrong - and that is where the programming is.
- Live life fully. Presence.
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You expand consciousness just for being you, therefore an addition. We will never know it all, be fully expressed - because it is never done. Now we can get into alignment:
When you are enlightened you follow your feelings and internal guidance system. Curious, creative, compassionate, always - keeps perception open instead of closing down. Be present with pain so you can learn. - We as a species are not all on the same evolutionary path. Maslow's - closer you get to the top, secure, you will evolve to a higher level of consciousness and you will be able to express yourself easier. The higher up you get, the more complex needs become.
- Get good at feeling your way through pain and it will FEED your awareness and intellect, you will learn not to shut down. Open up. Step into the unknown. This is how you commune with reality.
- You learn the rules of right and wrong from your culture and family, not reality - the more your nervous system is programmed, but your real feelings are telling you something different, and you were interacting with the reality of the household, this is the birth of THE SPLIT. What was it in you that was rejected, shamed by your caregivers - that was authentic and needed to grow? What did you do that went against your ultimate self expression?
- Social programming comes from the whole human history of not understanding reality, passed down from generation to generation. "The more I can control, the safer and better I will be." We all want to express our potential, the farther from security, the farther from expressing the true self. What do I want to express? I am not sure. Peace. Bravery. Truth.
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When we do things that give us consequences we did not expect, that is how we know we are running a program. In order to know what you need and want in life you have to deprogram yourself first.
Reality speaks in pain and pleasure only. A slow process of waking up to your feelings. - Society is set up to support the level of consciousness of the "aggregate" because this is the level that it is at. It is hard for people who are sensitive to energy to survive with how the world is because it is not set up to foster growth in sensitive people. What can I do about this?
- You have to become your own source of wisdom. You have to go on your own to figure it out.
- Make yourself safe + learn self love = expand consciousness
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Age of Existentialism -
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QuoteDead for a while, merci beaucoup...
So now I wait, and something will happen again...
Emptiness.
Present.
From here you manifest, pure Will. Now.
I want power... Within.
<<Open channel please, thank you.>>I found something a while back and I need it. Give it to me.
The Orb - A Huge Ever Growing Brain That Rules From The Centre Of The Ultraworld (Starecase Remix
All the coloured sentences I made above switched at once to grey. Accidental coincidence, but just this time.
That. Please.
QuoteQuoteQuoteQuoteQuoteQuoteQuote?????????????????
infinite love ? infinite love?????????????????????
infinite love ? infinite love?????✨?✨?✨?✨?✨?✨?✨?✨?✨?????
infinite love ? infinite love?????????????????? ?️ ??????????????????
?????✨?✨?✨?✨?✨?✨?✨?✨?✨?????
infinite love ? infinite love?????????????????????
infinite love ? infinite love?????????????????
infinite love ? infinite loveWhat inspires you?
Nature. -
@Raphael Not a good sign, but also please don't take it to heart. Women who do that are not doing it to you, but because they want to follow but are following the wrong energy.
Are you in your early 20's? When I was in my late teens/early 20's my ex would do this to other people when we first started dating and I had no experience beyond a few flings, I was never amused, but I took it to mean that he was intuitive, "alpha"; but I was/am also not a confident girl. Women can also look a certain way on the outside to impress a guy, even if she might not be feeling that way on the inside.It isn't you, it's them 100 percent. Please internalize this.
People who act like that have problems. You can't find abuse amusing and not have serious problems.Pity them and try not to make their problems your problems; you are more important than their dysfunctional opinions and behaviours. Anyone who is seeking to learn about and understand situations like this is guaranteed to have a better chance at growing in the right direction in the long term.
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No... I hate to see men doing this; I avoid men who mistreat their friends/colleagues like the plague or keep a mental note on it because it means I could be next one day.
As for the chick, I don't know, was she nervous or amused?
If amused, then she thinks cruelty is confidence like the guy above said. -
For me, if a guy did not have options I would be concerned. I would wonder why this might be, if he was safe, sane, reliable, ect. If he was investing all his time in just me, this would cause me to want to leave - that is too much pressure. It is better to ease into a relationship slowly. I did not always used to have this sentiment, but as I have gotten older, I do now.
I want to see how he is with other women, how he treats them before I make a choice. I may not want to get attached right away. Nor he. It feels inauthentic to rush in anyways, each time that I have - it ends up devolving into something I don't want. Slow and steady.
Each time it does not work out, I have an easier time letting go, and I feel gratitude, like a slave set free from the confines of the illusion of endearment; it's such a fantastic feeling to get away.
At this point, I am almost completely disinterested in relationships and sex (due somewhat to autoimmune issues, can't really commit to anything; used to love sex, now the drive is gone) so I would prefer the guy to have options. I don't want to hurt people if they get attached either and I wanna bounce, I want them to have more than one connection. That is only fair.Basically the romance without doing the deed. I don't need the perks, either. And I don't care if the other girl gets the guy. Whatever.
For some women, this won't work though. Every person is unique and so you will have to ask them individually how they feel about this as you get to know them, and be honest with what you are doing and be open. Then it is on them to choose. If you want to date a lot of women, go for it, if you do not then don't. Don't limit yourself for another person's expectations, find someone who is in line with your own.For me, it will always be whatever until it isn't.
And if it becomes whatever for him, then it's automatically whatever for me too, but forever and irretrievably so.I'm not a catch btw, just giving you another girl's alternative viewpoint as a dismissive avoidant attachment style.
Maybe another chick will be so into you that it will drive her mad, been there. Usually this happens without communication, so be as upfront as you can with people. No secrets. -
I got a good one. I love this video. Alien message.
Quote7 Gateway/Completion - Law of One Example
- AS ABOVE SO BELOW
- WE EXPRESS ALL LESSONS IN THIS CREATION THEN GIVE IT BACK, MERGE WITH SOURCE AND LIKE A HEARTBEAT ❤️ START AGAIN
- Lose all personal identity/memory
- PASSPORT INTO NEXT CREATION
- I AM becomes GOD in NEXT CREATION
- Next creation can be COMPLETELY DIFFERENT
- DIFFERENT CREATION DESIGNS HAVE DIFFERENT VEHICLES OF SENTIENCE- "Inhale, exhale."
- The beauty of this gateway is every single one of these heartbeats, or breaths, or your blood glucose levels or your eye accommodation, or the myriad of other night and day experiences, there are so many of them - and these juxtapositions are precisely what the nature of our reality is. The ultimate polarity.
- The nature of our reality is simply analogized to our inhale and exhale.
- It is not only the breath that gives us life force itself from the photosynthesis of trees and phytoplankton that we are interdependent with in a style of unity there, but it's also on a very metaphysical all-of-the-densities level.
- This is the beautiful process of the inhalation and the exhalation. This evolutionary process that reaches that actractor, that Godhead, and that goes through another inhalation and exhalation. And that is the ouroboros.
- That's why we have learned all these lessons, we lose all of them, and that passports us into the next creation because we merge with source and we become God in the next creation - we already are the "I Am" God, and our "I Am" God becomes God in the next creation.
- We do a similar thing where we create new vehicles of sentience in new realities, we veil ourselves and them pierce the veil and awaken. This is the eternal hide and seek exploring all different types of experience, phenomenology and play and we have been doing that and we're going to keep doing that.
- It can never end.QuoteThey are showing how to use quantum energy, how humans can unify with love, source and emotional integration and what a unified social memory complex looks like. Note each part of the whole has equal access to this energy, how they bring the polarity within them, coat themselves in it, and move in unison before becoming One and dissolving back into Nothing.
Like an octopus; pure emotional mastery - @8:18 imagine these are skyscrapers and you are sitting at an outside table during the evening on a date enjoying italian food at some chosen restaurant, and then you and your date are blown away; dissolved as if you never were.
They can encompass this entire experience within time and wash it away as if it were nothing at all. Like a hand, all the fingers reaching inwards to crush a moment in history, a dissolving tsunami - everything "bad" is also "good" - it's nothing more than theatre, the various atmospheres learned and "tasted". A play. A single moment in a long never ending chain before they, too, unify and return to Source.
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Looking through this thread I can see why women here have such a hard time on this forum. A lot of you here feign genuine growth, don't you? Why is that? Women don't want men who are weak, who are jerks, and who can't connect to them on an emotional level, this is such a common thing, it's not rocket science. Feminine energy is nature, it's Earth, it's caring for animals, plants, children, ect...
There are so many ways to tap into it. Try caring for something that isn't you and nurturing it from a baby into an adult and you will have a better understanding of feminine energy. That's containment, it is nurturing something other than your selfish...I mean... clearly spiritual... selves.
Or no-selves, whatever you identify with. 
You literally can't grow as a person without both of these energies working in sync, they move like a DNA strand - it's yin yang, negative and positive, all of the energies you feel from the planet, from animals, psychic abilities, a good number of siddhis, ect. are feminine in nature. Intuition is generally more feminine; and you block a huge chunk of that by not integrating it. It's more than just what women need, it's another piece of the evolutionary puzzle. And I hate to say it, but due to the repression of the feminine by the masculine, it comes from you first.
Also, I hate to say it again, but most women don't want childish, passive-aggressive and lazy men. We want to feel safe, contained, feminine - we are not here to be your mother. We can care for you, but we are not your door mats or house mouse slaves. That energy needs to move in a balanced circle.
If you want to be leaders, if you want to feel like men, you can't do that without fully integrated feminine energy and understanding it fully. Generally speaking, most men prefer feminine women unless they are inherently weak. It's not socially kosher to say, but it's the truth. More often than not you are compensating for something. A lot of tailspin sexualities come from this, unless you integrate and find out after the process that this is your orientation, but if you have not done the work and choose a polarity based off of spiritual bypassing, and then try to pass that off, it's kind of lame and not helpful at all. To anyone.Those who complain that this is too binary - is it, or are you just broken in some aspect? Be sure you're being honest about your sexuality and not lazy and saying it is one thing when it really isn't. I see a lot of this here already, so of course it makes sense to question this, I don't take what people say at face value because usually people are never fully honest with themselves, much less others.
But what do I know, I'm just someone integrating the feminine after having it damaged by weaksauce men who refuse to integrate themselves in any real, nuanced and meaningful way - and so I get stuck with bullshit for attempting to do so, knowing the raw power that comes from the feminine; and considering we are a part of the land, it is actually, genuinely... truely... the superior energy when harnessed properly.
Let me put it this way: Don't want to feel and hear the planet? Don't want the majority of mystical magical spiritual powers? Don't understand and integrate the feminine. Stay blind.
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My brother is Deaf, so I have been learning sign language. I used to know Finnish as a small child due to having neighbors I would spend time with from Finland and they spoke in their native tongue. Currently just English and rudimentary sign language atm.
He just signs and says a word, and I guess and as I talk, sometimes I sign back or have to spell it out if I don't know it. My mother knows it well and when we move back in with them (place is being sold due to covid) she can help translate better so I will learn faster.
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It can be a weakness or a strength, depending on how you use it.
Most people use sexuality in a weak manner, so no wonder you and many people feel that it is weakness. It is.
I don't believe, as a general rule, that people who claim to use sexuality as a strength are honest, either. I think you need to have a solid spiritual foundation first, and how many folks out there genuinely have this?...
Not many. Personally, I've never cared for sex with other people; I've had a few one night stands, a few short term relationships and I had a long term boyfriend a few years ago and I enjoyed sex with him... sometimes, but from what I have seen and experienced, usually people will use your sexuality against you because they're... well... weak.
But from what you have said, you want to have sex and that's a big deal for you, so, idk, maybe see a sex therapist to work through your beliefs. They would be able to give you step by step instruction on what to do.It can be a strength when used in a spiritual setting, as this area needs to be unblocked in order to progress spiritually, and there is a hidden power that you can unlock in yourself the more you work on your sexuality in an authentic manner. There is life force within sexual energy. Siddhis can come from here.
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I'm out of the game because I just don't have the energy to put into a relationship and to have it be a fair energy exchange, also I agree with what is said about women who were mistreated later finding other people to reenact abuse in their adult years to be pretty common and I tend to lean that way. I just don't find kindness towards me attractive, or even meanness if it has a goal of attracting me. I like people who are unavailable altogether, and then once I have them I'm stuck with severe buyer's remorse. I have a long history of just leaving relationships on a dime because I can sense that it isn't going to go anywhere, unless I'm strung along, but at this point I can't even fall for that with the decision to remain single. I would hate to lose all the work that I have done on myself by finding the wrong person, or have them mess with my psychology or anything weird like that, and then leave the relationship feeling like there were more things wrong with me than I initially thought.
I like men as friends, though, and once the idea of a relationship is out of the equation I can just act normally and I relish that. I think maybe the desire for God should come first (haha
) and that human relationships are an impediment on finding your true self. I don't think humans are supposed to be in long term partnerships, either. 1-4 years max and then move on asap unless you're interested in contributing to the overpopulation problem.
I think what most people want is just to be seen without expectations from either party. Just to go with the flow and call it a day. Just my 2cents. I'm not interested in performing or being anyone other than I am for another person, generally that seems to be what people require and it's not my cup of tea. I'd rather grow spiritually, and find someone in the next life in a more unified space than the garbage we have here on Earth that we mistake for genuine connection, which ultimately usually ends up just being two people leeching off of one another in different ways.
I think that is what people want.
I want to wait until survival and ego are out of the game.
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Check these out:
I wonder if in the future it will become more normalized to allow pets to communicate their wants and needs with us?
It seems as though 99.9 percent are missing out on having this option.
in Self-Actualization Journals
Posted · Edited by Keyhole