TheGreekSeeker

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Posts posted by TheGreekSeeker


  1. Maybe he felt that in the long run you'd choose the girl instead of him. Sometimes a woman can ruin the friendship between 2 men because they both desire her and are jealous of each other (obviously the same can happen with the genders reversed). I think the best you could do at this situation was to explain that he cannot make you not hook-up with her (enforce your boundaries), while also tell him that he is important for you and you don't want to lose him as a friend (emotionally reassure him). You can have it both ways. It is not bad that he was unsure of himself and desperate. You could just explain to him that you could be friends as long as he respected your boundaries. That would be the ideal response if he hadn't blocked you everywhere. I think that since someone blocks you it's a lost cause. Don't try and win him over, focus on yourself.


  2. @Lyubov 600$ a month to learn a foreign language? This is very expensive. Where do you live? Here in Greece you can learn a language for 80€ a month. I'd suggest to be careful of 2 things in South America: the cartels and the high criminality rates. It can be very dangerous for a 'gringo'. Do you really have a high status though, or just the fact that you are Caucasian will give you extra prestige in those countries? Isn't it like fooling the women you'll sleep with? I'm just asking, nothing personal. Have you tried dating in your home country and didn't get the results you wanted? Is it so bad in the West?


  3. If you don't want to go but are still dependent on your family for money, find an apartment in your town, make an arrangement with the owner to pay them the first rent the next month, and find a job instantly. This is your only escape from your family. I don't know though how they can force you into a psych ward, since you are an adult. They don't have custody over you. 


  4. @Lyubov Why do you think that anything regarding spirituality on this forum should be avoided? Have you tried psychedelics and/or to become enlightened? This is a genuine question, I haven't got a clue about spirituality. A couple of years ago when I watched Leo's videos about God and Enlightenment I thought I was getting crazy. This is what you mean? But now I avoid them and I slowly pace myself into spiritual work without going too fast so as to give a panic attack to myself.


  5. Try to avoid putting labels on yourself. Your behaviour is a byproduct of your idiosyncrasy and your options. Introspect deep inside whether you want sex or not. If you do, keep it in mind and slowly work towards getting it sometime in the future. In the meantime, work on other aspects of your life that need fixing. You can find a job, start learning a new language, start a new hobby etc. Don't stay still. Advance yourself through every means possible. I am at a place in my life where I haven't gotten any sex for the past 2.5 years. I deeply want it. I've tried pick-up. It strongly demoralised me. Human relationships have strongly demoralized me. But I still have to try. I still have to try to find ways to be productive and advance in life. I will try to fullfil this need for all my life. But think of it like that: if you could be sexless and unsuccessful somewhere, or sexless and successful somewhere, what would you choose? You'd choose the option that offers you some leverage towards your depressing situation and thoughts. Be resourceful. Even if you believe that you have no other options, you can still find a way to do things, and to do them well.


  6. Do you still keep contact with your family? From my experience, systemic approach is very holistic, it incorporates aspects from different approaches, the therapist wants to meet your parents, your siblings, your spouse etc. Group sessions cost more. In cognitive-behavioural therapy things are more structured. The therapist tries to help you deconstruct your core beliefs about yourself, you keep a diary of events that occured in each week regarding cognitive distortions. You don't know what approach will help you the most. You have to try.


  7. When I was 15 I got my first realisation regarding video games. I stopped being so addicted. I got tired of it, of the toxic sub-culture that rules league of legends. I essentially burnt all that karma. After that specific period when I got that revelation, I spent again time playing video games, but it didn't supercede a couple of weeks. A couple of days I go I got so passionate about playing a specific video game to the point where I gave it my all. And now I'm better, I can live without it. Some video games might be more addictive than others, I specifically get more easily averse to games with a toxic community and with competition and I stick to more solo, gathering resources type of games.

    Try to only play video games without doing anything else. Try it for 1 week straight. And then come here and tell us whether you feel disgust towards them.


  8. If you want to be efficient you need to practice on muscle memory. That doesn't happen if you're alone at home, you need to experiment with a training partner and a teacher who is qualified and supervises. You could try a variety of martial arts, like Judo, Krav Maga, Jiu-Jitsu, Muay Thai, Kickboxing, Wrestling. I'd caution you to be careful regarding brain damage. If you want to avoid getting hurt to the head stick to grappling martial arts. Personally, I want to know how to defend myself but if I had to choose between striking and grappling, I'd pick grappling because I want to avoid getting irreversible damage in the head.


  9.  Her behaviour and stance towards you was purely unethical. Why didn't you ask her why she was so judgmental of you? How old was she? If she is older she might be old-school. What was your behaviour towards her? You just wanted to vent? Her asking questions is normal because she is trying to understand your situation. I've made some mistakes with a former therapist, I wanted to always talk, and she corrected me and pointed out that I didn't let her give me advice and finish a sentence. So keep that in mind. The client might sabotage the therapy because he wants to control the outcome.


  10. On 12/31/2022 at 9:10 AM, Blackhawk said:

    Oh God..

    People are still giving the same useless advice..

    I already heard all those things like 13 years ago or something.

    But don't take it personally.

     

    What a sad reality we live in. Everyone are the same, all girls dislike me, all people give the same useless advice, nothing ever changes, there is no hope whatsoever.

    Deep down inside I know that what I said is unoriginal. These are all endogenous advices. Exogenous advice is wanting to depend on other people for your happiness. You can do that, but it's much more complicated and takes more time. It depends on uncontrollable factors. What you can do immediately is to work on yourself. You might get more satisfaction from that. Either way, you try something. 


  11. Not only you overvalue the pretty girl, you idolize her and you prettify her character as well, which is not always the case. When I see an extremely attractive woman I'm attracted to and think I got a chance, I think of her as this innocent princess with no bad intentions. It requires great emotional and spiritual maturity to distinguish the beauty from the psyche that bears it. Let alone to choose a girlfriend with your upper head.