Espaim

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Posts posted by Espaim


  1. Quote

    When you are with a Group of people, do you regularly check your own thoughts to check if they are all right/Ok with the situation you are in, or do you let yourself lose almost completely and do not CONTROL What you are going to say?

    I don't try anything. I don't check my thoughts.

    If something goes through my mind and I find it relevant, I say it

    Next to some people, if I feel like talking I do and if I don't, I keep quiet

    Sometimes I feel weird after speaking something but I just brush it off. If I don't then I'll feel anxious about feeling weird in an endless loop.

    As an example, at work, I speak little. But I'm there to work, not to talk! My work is pretty physical and you can get by mostly based on short sentences. And most of the time it's so fking noisy it's pointless to try to have convos.

    When going out and chatting with people, I ask questions and try to know them better. Maybe I'll speak for 5 minutes non-stop. But if I feel it's better to keep quiet, I keep quiet. I have a quirky sense of humor and use that to my advantage, in moderation. Reading the room is important.

    Sometimes I'll go to a place and not feel quite right or vibing with people... So, then I leave. No problems. If they think I'm weird that's on them.

    Quiet ≠ socially anxious

    Quote

    How many times you find yourself having an idea of a thought of saying something, But Dont say It because you judge It in some way and remain silent?

    Pretty rare

    Quote

    Do you find yourself feeling you are not saying much while other people seem to have no problem in speaking their mind chilled and relaxed with no apparent fear of "repercussion"?

    Sometimes I don't say much but that's because nothing goes through my mind. I speak things mostly without fear of repercussion. Nevertheless, I am empathetic and rarely make obnoxious and idiotic comments.

    That's my self-analysis for your information. I'd consider myself an introvert with little social anxiety.


  2. 1 hour ago, meow_meow said:

    I'd rather have a bad trip that provides me with something I haven't experienced even if its scary and leads to extreme fear

    You're a good candidate to try 5g then. Make sure to put the mushrooms on lemon juice.

    Not that I'm saying you should do it but... if you don't care about trauma? heh


  3. It can mean something or mean nothing. People have wacky dreams about lots of shit. Haven't you ever entered a school and shot everyone in your dreams? You're missing so much.

    Now being serious, if you think you are developing attraction to men: it happens. That may be confusion too.

    For me, what happens is that the overwhelming amount of sexual and intimate attraction i feel is geared towards women or feminine creatures, idk ?

    I need to admit maybe I've been romantically and sexually attracted to men before but looking back, it was of such low intensity and a fleeting experience. I could even have confused it for anxiety ABOUT being attracted to them(search about Homosexual-OCD). I don't remember enough to have a final word.

    When I feel attraction to women it's just undeniable. It's polar, magnetic and I just can't lie about it. It's different shit man.


  4. I wish I had discovered it earlier.

    This knowledge freed me of lots of normies bullshiting. Actually, I still do their bullshiting but I can excel on it as I don't have the limiting and shitty beliefs they have.

    When I didn't know actualized.org i thought the best thing that could happen was total anarcho-capitalism... And before that I thought all people should become christian and all of our problems would be solved.

    And if you do it right you won't be worried about it all the time.


  5. I share it with stage green hippies and above openly(even people I've just met), just jokingly with stage orange friends, with stage red druggies I'm somehow forced to talk to due to living in a third world country, and never with blues. My dad is an exception as he is blue-orange and has tried LSD.

    It's working.


  6. 1 hour ago, IAmPaulQuinn said:

    - Am I repressing it and hiding from it because I'm scared of girls? Probably. Not really. Maybe. I don't know. Depends on how we look at it, haha.

    I've gone down this road of "repression" due to peer pressure. Then did some LSD and mushroom trips digging deep into my past and present without fear... Found nothing, really. It's genuine.

    Testosterone levels are sky high.

    I'd say just don't worry about it.


  7. Caffeine helps with your pain and you "automatically" consume it. Have you considered that it could also be causing it? Messing with your sleep and preventing it from being deep, restful and restorative?

    The high-seeking behavior could be due to the stress it's causing you.

    Of all the substance addictions, it's the sneakiest. Almost everyone will look over it when searching for problems. Doctors included.


  8. I can relate a lot.

    The desire to have a girlfriend or sex appears sparingly for me. It's not enough to motivate me to do something.

    When I see how much work people put into getting laid I'm astonished.

    I also never understood why people put so much emphasis in being in a relationship/getting laid in everyday life.

    As an addendum: when I took a supplement that increased libido, doing pickup felt 100% worth it ? Maybe just do something similar for a while to see what happens.


  9. 2 minutes ago, Uchral said:

    You guys are pretty defensive about him, I understand. Because you guys probably watched a ton of his contents. 

    If you actually explained what you mean with some evidence so we could understand it better, you would get better responses. Instead, what we find here is one-liners with generic criticism.