Espaim

Member
 View profile  See their activity

  • Content count

    628

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Posts posted by Espaim

  3. Posted

    On 9/25/2024 at 10:37 AM, Basman said:

    A lot of good resources. Thanks guys.

    I can definitely see that argument, but therapy is essentially a lot of "how did that make you feel?" If you have the know-how, surely you can achieve a lot with just journaling in theory. Besides, I don't believe therapy is for everyone, like the initial research was based heavily off working with women for example.

    Journaling can certainly help you with many issues you may face. I suggest you to do it if you do or do not go to therapy. Nonetheless, I'll add some thoughts here.
    It seems like you have lumped "therapy" into a single thing but there are many approaches to it. Let me list some of the top of my head:
     

    • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
    • Existential Therapy
    • Psychoanalysis
    • Gestalt Therapy
    • Psychodrama
       

    I bet some will have more of "how did that make you feel?" and others will be... Different. I suggest you research about it.
    If you find some approach that interests you, don't fear trying it out. Sometimes it'll be hard to find a good match of an approach or professional for your individual needs but it can be helpful. And you can even bring your journal to help! At the end, the choice is yours.

  5. Posted

    On 10/16/2024 at 6:27 AM, bambi said:

    Good work, one of my biggest regrets is ever starting drink and drugs. Which I didnt really do until 26.

    I dont even know where it all went so wrong. I was adamant of not using alcohol as a crutch, and would do day game and party sober all through my early 20s. 

    Vices are kind of like a frog in boiling water, by the time you realise your in trouble your burning fast

    Thanks!

    Tbh I went all in, didn't care about not using drugs as a crutch or something (the irony is I already knew about Actualized.org since I was 18). Maybe this rush made me crash and burn faster. For my own luck, it went well afterwards, or at least until now :D

     

    4 hours ago, PsychedelicEagle said:

    Cheers!

    You can frame it as time you get back to focus on more meaningful endeavors and connections.

    If you search you can easily find people who are non drinkers too.

    My therapist also said something along these lines. I've been slowly revamping my social connections. However, I also have a long list of issues that require my attention (not related to socialization), so this isn't my top priority. I already had some friends with whom drinking wasn't our main bonding activity, and I've been trying to reach out to them. Anyway, thanks!

  6. Posted

    I began revamping my social connections after adopting new healthy habits. I tend to gravitate towards highly open-minded people, generally those who are more mature, despite my own youth. Being in university facilitates this process. I decisively cut ties with individuals who act too childishly (not to be confused with playfulness) or disrespect my boundaries. My policy is to give a warning on the first offense, but after three strikes, they're out. I value friends who know how to listen actively and understand my limitations as a human being, and I strive to reciprocate these qualities. Generally, most of my friends lean left politically or at least hold some liberal values. I don't mesh well with close-minded individuals and, in such cases, I try to maintain only a basic level of friendliness without becoming too close. This approach helps me cultivate meaningful relationships that align with my personal growth and values while also not alienating myself from the people I don't really want to become friends with.

  7. Posted · Edited by Espaim

    After more than 400 days of sobriety, I'm reflecting on my journey as a 24-year-old college student who quit drinking. My heavy drinking began at 20 during the COVID-19 pandemic, exacerbated by a job where free beer was abundant. Despite changing my major which I was unsatisfied with, my drinking habits persisted, even interfering with medications for neurological issues.

    Post-COVID restrictions, I attended every social event possible, drinking excessively at each one. My extroverted yet disagreeable nature made me prone to disinhibition. A seizure served as a wake-up call, prompting both my dad and me to quit alcohol.

    The benefits have been significant:

    • No alcohol cravings
    • Reduced spending (both on alcohol and impulsive spending while drunk)
    • Less of family/friends worrying about me
    • No regrets about actions or words
    • Rediscovering social events without alcohol (I still go to parties sober and have fun but it's different. I can't stand as much as I did before)
    • Seeking healthier social activities

    There are some challenges:

    • Finding alternative ways to deal with negative emotions. I've started therapy some weeks ago and it's going great. I also started working out.
    • Occasional feelings of being left out. Honestly, this has been something I've had difficulty dealing with.
    • Explaining my choice not to drink (not really, I'm not the type that beats around the bush).

    Neutral

    • Interestingly, after 400 days, I'm forgetting what it's like to be drunk. Seeing others drink doesn't even register as something I'd consider doing anymore. Sometimes I host parties and I find myself wondering what to do with alcohol left around the day after.

    While quitting hasn't solved all my problems, it's solved more than one. I have a long way to go still in other areas.

     

  9. Posted · Edited by Espaim

    Even though I'm a psychology undergrad and know many people who meditate and have done psychedelics (pretty open-minded people in general, liberal/hippie leaning), they're still incredibly close-minded regarding some of my experiences. So I just shut up now. I've decided it's not worth the hassle of explaining.

  11. Posted

    Disclaimer: I want to clarify that although I refer to my experience as a 'psychedelic journey,' I am not implying that it is complete or definitive. It may sound very new-agey and it maybe is lol.


    Hello, fellow actualizers,

    I want to share with you my journey with psychedelics and meditation. About two years ago, I intentionally paused my psychedelic use and meditation practice. I was only 20 at the time, and I needed to focus on my life purpose. I have tried various psychedelics, including weed, mushrooms, LSD, DMT, MDMA, and some more that I don't remember. Among them, DMT and LSD were the ones I used the most. I tripped on these psychedelics around 80 times, all in just one year. Although I would like to have access to 5-Meo-DMT, it's an enormous challenge in my country.

    Leo has inspired me to use psychedelics, and I thank him for that. I used them responsibly, following harm reduction guidelines, and doing serious inquiry during most of my trips. Although some of them were just for fun, I still prioritized safety. Since then, I've been investing in my life purpose, which involves the study of pharmaceuticals and drugs on the brain, from the perspective of psychology. Although I don't really like medicine or pharmacy enough to study those substances from those perspectives, psychology is my preferred choice.

    Psychedelics aggressively expanded my mind in terms of open-mindedness. Although I don't consider myself enlightened or anything, I do believe that psychedelic and spiritual experiences helped me become a more well-rounded person and understand other perspectives. Some of my psychedelic experiences felt like years of therapy in hours. However, I felt like it was time to develop myself further, which is why I paused my psychedelic use. I felt somewhat ungrounded after going through all of those psychedelic trips.

    During my psychedelic journey, I faced traumas and had existential questions answered, such as unconditional love, no self, the absolute, death, god realization, and many more. As a result, I noticed an increase in motivation in my personal life. Although I might not have reached the level of enlightenment that Leo claims is possible, I still found benefits from my psychedelic experiences.  Throughout my psychedelic experiences, I gained a valuable insight that has provided me with emotional stability - the idea of 'not-knowing.' While it's difficult to articulate, this has helped me tremendously, pragmatically speaking.

    Before my psychedelic journey, I used to be a very disagreeable and sometimes aggressive person. Although I'm still disagreeable, I am way nicer now. It may sound contradictory to be socially anxious and aggressive, but I just wanted people not to interact with me. After using psychedelics and resolving most of my problems with social anxiety, I learned how to socialize properly, which made me more assertive. Moreover, I feel more authentic, which is very liberating.

    I hope my journey with psychedelics can be useful for at least someone here. If you have any questions or want to share your experiences, feel free to do so. Thank you for reading!

  12. Posted

    Hello! We could help you out, but to provide you with the best possible answers, we would appreciate it if you could give us some more information about your current situation. What are your interests and goals? What is your current financial situation like? Is there anything else that you think we should know about?

    By providing us with more details about your circumstances, we can offer you more tailored and specific advice.

  13. Posted · Edited by Espaim

    6 hours ago, Sucuk Ekmek said:

    S.D. is a great model but I just can't cope up with it.

    I appreciate your perspective overall, and while you may not personally agree with the Spiral Dynamics model, my main goal is to ensure that my point comes across clearly to readers of this specific forum.:)

    8 hours ago, Basman said:

    Its something you're more likely to spend time thinking about than actually dealing with it in your life unless you actually spend time with individuals where it would supposedly be apropiate to use gender neutral terms.

    I have regular interactions with individuals who prefer to be referred to using gender-neutral language. So this is relevant for me to some point.

    8 hours ago, Basman said:

    It is quiet drastic to expect others to change their language to conform to a small minority of the population.

    In my opinion, significant social changes usually take time, but it's essential to people going towards progress. Although I may not identify as an "active activist" of anything, I believe that we should strive to accommodate minority groups to the extent that is reasonable, at least in my personal life. History has shown that many social changes have been based on achieving equality and uplifting marginalized communities. For example, the civil rights movement fought for equal rights for African Americans, and the LGBTQ+ movement has made significant strides towards acceptance and inclusion. These movements have paved the way for a more just and equitable society. It's worth noting that I don't think we have an equitable society nowadays.

    This connects to the representation I mentioned earlier, particularly in regards to women.

    7 hours ago, Hugo Oliveira said:

    First, language was made for communication, it is a tool and has a function. Real inclusion can never be made through language, it can only be made through ethics. Think about art, architecture, fashion, and transport. Those things only adapt when really necessary (to help people with disabilities for example), otherwise, it is not reasonable to request changes in these areas, because it is not their purpose.  

    While this may not be the primary concern, addressing this issue could potentially aid in advocating for greater inclusivity. Nonetheless, I must acknowledge that you have raised a valid point.

  14. Posted · Edited by Espaim

    21 hours ago, Sucuk Ekmek said:

    Regardless of S.D. stages who is benefiting or benefiting the most from this phenomenon? This would be my first perspective.

    I brought up Spiral Dynamics because I believe it can provide a clearer understanding for readers. As many of the participants here are likely to be Americans or people from English speaking countries, they may not be familiar with the intricacies of Latin American conservatism. However, I am aware that this theory should be taken with a grain of salt, as it may not necessarily apply to every situation or culture strictly.

    Moving on, I believe that individuals who do not identify as any particular gender may benefit greatly from this discussion. Additionally, women who are used to being represented by masculine language when reffering to large groups may feel more included if gender-neutral terms are used.

    @Danioover9000 

    In my university, we study structural racism and white privilege, and I recognize that these concepts can be difficult for many people to fully grasp. I don't mean to condemn anyone who struggles to understand them. However, when I encounter instances of racial discrimination, I do my best to address them and educate people on the issue. Unfortunately, that's often an wasted effort.

    The challenge with gender-neutral language is that it's even more abstract and unfamiliar to the average person than concepts like structural racism and white privilege. This is not to say that people are unintelligent, but rather that our education system often fails to adequately address issues related to gender identity and language.


    Logically speaking, it would seem reasonable to have gender-neutral language options available. However, it's not entirely clear for me how this could be practically implemented.

    Portuguese can be considered to be a relatively inflexible language, which may make it more resistant to changes in its structure or usage. Other Latin or Romance languages may also face similar challenges but I'm not certain on this point.

  15. Posted

    As a psychology undergraduate living in Brazil, I've been witnessing numerous debates about pronouns and gender in Portuguese. This issue is distinct from English because our language has only two genders, which are applied to most nouns and adjectives. Typically, the masculine gender is considered the default. For instance, the words "gato" (masculine) and "gata" (feminine) are used for "cat."

    Recently, many stage green academics (teachers and students) have been advocating for the use of gender-neutral language. In Portuguese, this would mean using "gate" instead of "gato" or "gata" to avoid gender-specific nouns. However, our language has yet to adopt such linguistic flexibility, making it challenging to write in a gender-neutral way. While I appreciate the idea of inclusion, Brazil has a predominantly Spiral Dynamics Blue value-dominant population, with only some cities, such as mine, leaning toward Orange and Green values.

    As a result, this change has started to gain traction, but I'm unsure of where I stand on the matter. I would like to hear perspectives from those who are not directly involved in the situation.

    Thanks!

  17. Posted · Edited by Espaim

    It's poisonous. Don't drink, preferably.

    But I'm a hypocrite. I drink occasionally but when I do it's a lot; I stay just below the line of blackout. I only drink beers so I can track my alcohol intake precisely when drunk.

    I mostly utilize it to bond with people I already know. I rarely drink outside my house or at parties. The interactions I have or "friends" I make while drunk seem very fake afterwards and I can't shake that feeling off. I like being authentic when socializing and I don't feel like that's the case when I drink with people I don't know.

    Adding to that, I'm one of the rare people that have the "hangover effect", where you feel better the day afterwards. So it's cool.