IJB063

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Posts posted by IJB063

  2. Posted

    @Aquarius

    5 hours ago, Aquarius said:

    For me at least, it really is useful! I'm gonna try this, except I'm going to allow myself to do things on my computer and internet, because I work digitally a lot. But only specific work related things. :) 

    Good Stuff ?

    Simply, all you’re doing in a dopamine detox is avoiding anything stimulating, the only thing stimulating I’ll allow myself is coffee, I don’t trust myself to use the internet even if it’s originally to do something productive because I’ll inevitably end up surfing the web or going on YouTube...

    Work is work though, you have to keep the lights on

     

     

  3. Posted

    @Keyhole

    2 minutes ago, Keyhole said:

    I agree with you that romantic love is a lie.  I think that the sort of love that lasts is something that starts off slow and burns steady and that sort of love could come from a variety of different relationships, not just romantic.

    We get sold the fast food version of love via media because everything has gotta be fast, immediately accessible and no road bumps, but that is just not how life works.  But that's the image that sells.

    Amen ?

    “Fast food version of love”, great quote, everything in modern culture is the fast food version of everything, because that is what sells, the entire point of self actualisation is the understanding that things aren’t immediately accessible and a lot of work has to be put into getting what you want

    And I personally find it better that there is no romantic love, it makes thing more interesting and in a weird sense more romantic because of the finiteness of all things, it’s a sort of melancholy that most people are too afraid to accept

  5. Posted

    @Epikur

    17 minutes ago, Epikur said:

    Ok let me show you where you are wrong:

    I actually can't find anything wrong with your  perception. 

    Let me tell you where you’re wrong

    I can’t find where you’re wrong

    lol, sorry I haven’t read the rest yet so you’re probably going to explain but I thought that was funny

    18 minutes ago, Epikur said:

    can only give some ideas which you probably know anyway. Love is basically like the will to survive. In the language of "The Joker" we are like dogs running after the car but we have no idea what to do with the car. The reason seems to be that we follow biological triggers. Though it is not really meaningful  it makes literally sense because our senses are getting triggered.

    So what is the bottom line? If you have decided to live you want to follow a path and love is a good enough goal for the lizard brain and for the big brain to keep moving and that is something.

    It is mostly frustrating when you "not reach the car" you feel like missing out. Or you "reach the car and it produces pain after awhile. What might be an option is to get it in small dosages and create art with it. Normally the brain creates fantasy on it's own already. Then it's kind of a safe space so that you don't lose everything by making huge mistakes.

    The lizard brain just wants you to pass on it’s genes, it doesn’t believe in love

    The rational higher mind does, but it’s really a product of our culture, and culture sells you a lie not for your own good but its

    I think I get your point, that it’s better to have an aim all though it’s pointless than to have no aim and have nothing to do. You don’t need the aim of romance in life, there is more to life than women or men. A lot of people don’t understand that and cling, because of there lizard brain, to romantic love, when it’s not a real thing. 

     

  6. Posted

    @Amil

    On 11/06/2020 at 0:44 PM, Amil said:

    I do not believe in romance in a relationship. More precisely, it can be present but only at the beginning of a relationship, romance is followed by addiction and routine. One way to get out of such a routine is to have a variety of leisure activities and experiments in bed. Recently, my husband and I decided to try BDSM, it was something new and forbidden for us. We were inspired by the Alt website for this experiment. You can read the review on it here https://hookupmasters.com/adult-dating-sites/altcom-review/. Now our relationship has come to life and constantly want to experiment. we will try something else new.

    Yeah, that’s my point

    The fact that you have to spice things up in the bedroom proves that sex is a drug

    And just as a junkie has to progressively up and up his dosage and move to harder drugs, so do you to still enjoy sex with your husband, have to experiment and try forbidden activities 

    Romantic love is present at the beginning because that’s when the drug hits hardest, after that it’s all down hill, and you wind up stuck in a family or relationship you’re obligated to continue, given the kids, car, job, dog, house and wife or husband, all those responsibilities, but you don’t actually like it

    To keep your relationship alive youre probably, like a junkie, going to have to experiment with kinkier and harder stuff until your either both too older and your sex drives die, or either of you get bored of one another, that either ends in divorce or probable disappointment with life, only because you were sold this scam of romantic love, if you didn’t believe in it you’d have accepted that fact already

  8. Posted

    I’m gonna stick to a “dopamine detox” for a week starting from

    [13/06/20]

    Ending on

    [20/06/20]

    A Dopamine Detox is basically the avoidance of all base vices, as to deliberately make yourself bored to resensitize yourself to experience, and reset the chemical soup in your mind so that you’re motivated again to do actual productive things.

    To get yourself out of your rut and to become productive you need boredom or "dopaminergic ammo" to give yourself the neuro chemical desire to actually step outside of your comfort zone. Our culture is a "novelty culture", which is a built around hooking in to your brain and keeping you constantly stimulated in a zombie like trance, so that people can extract money from you.

    What boring yourself does is starves those pathways and resets the mind out of that zombie like trance. So here are the rules.

    What I Can do

    1. Meditate
    2. Read
    3. Write
    4. Exercise 

    What I Can’t do

    1. Use the Internet
    2. Watch Television 
    3. Use Social Media
    4. Socialising 
    5. Use any Screen 
    6. Eat Junk Food
    7. No Substances
    8. No Music

    Etc...

    Anything that I find stimulating is banned. Until 20/06/20, then I can slowly give myself back vices and keep them in a schedule, to find it easier for me to make my schedule stick.

     

  9. Posted

    @remember

    17 hours ago, remember said:

    not why, how. logic can only become a trap if its actually not logical, but because people think they are mastering logic they don’t realize how they get entangled because of a small logical mistake. logic also does not work on an irrational ego, an irrational ego slips away through every logical gap it can get - no rules, no logic, no awareness.

    Then it’s not logic that you’re talking about

  10. Posted

    @Max_V

    I can remember listening to some PUA video where guys who would go chat girls up, but they had to literally get rejected by them. The man who had the most rejections was the winner, if you actually successfully got a girl and shagged her that was a loss. 

    The point was to overcome the fear of rejection or embarrassment because it doesn’t fucking mean anything, anxiety is primitive so you have to solve it primitively are that’s by showing your hind brain that you’re not going to die when you talk to a girl, just incremental steps towards your goal.

      
     

  11. Posted

    @Max_V

    Im 19 and always have issues with anxiety, been diagnosed, and am to nervous around attractive women, you can sedate yourself to help, but the best bet is to just bite the bullet

    No one gives you what you want in life you have to take it 

    Yeah she might reject you, yeah you might embarrass yourself, so fucking what, just look at it as a funny story and keep on pushing forward, that’s the only way you improve 
     

  13. Posted

    @mandyjw

    1 minute ago, mandyjw said:

    found Leo a long time ago by searching for "how to deal with anger" on youtube. Anxiety and fear seem to be the deeper root issue behind it oftentimes. I'm not sure if you'd also find that to be the case. I've found running to be really helpful, in my opinion nothing feels better when you're angry or frustrated than a good run. It has a way of channeling thoughts so they all come out but they are all seen as they do. Sitting with that energy with the intention of stopping thoughts is much harder in my opinion, so I find doing both works well for me. Breath work and all kinds of other techniques might work better for you. 

    Yeah, I have been doing a lot of running recently, before covid I was actually training with my brother to do a triathlon

    Runnings about the only time I get out the house recently with lockdown, cause college is shut and there are no jobs currently in my area

    I have been doing a lot of breath work, which I find over powers you to the point that you can’t really think and get too mad, e.g. when taking a shower and doing Wim Hof my angers actually helpful for me keeping under the cold water 

    I agree, the issue is just sitting down and not moving and having all that anger just build up inside of you with no release, that’s why I struggle to keep meditating when that happens

     

  15. Posted

    @Nahm

    Thanks for the reply, I found it helpful

    @Nak Khid

    38 minutes ago, Nak Khid said:

    That's vague. You probably have 1-3 primary anger points about something more specific.  It may take a while for clarity on that. 
    these things can be scary and if not understood can go on for years., one's demons.  I have some myself 

    It’s vague because I don’t know what is meant by the nature of your anger, anger can originate from different causes but it’s still just anger in varying degrees, or maybe there are different types I don’t know

  18. Posted

    @Nak Khid

    35 minutes ago, Nak Khid said:

    1) self hypnosis

    Kinda like affirmations, ok, I’m might try this out

    35 minutes ago, Nak Khid said:

    2) concentration meditation 

    Ok, that’s similar to what I’m already doing, but I don’t repeat a mantra, I struggle to focus the moment I become angry

    37 minutes ago, Nak Khid said:

    3)  Mindfullness meditation with noting

    This is what I’ve been doing

    Ive been mostly listening to guided audio meditation, which walks you through labelling different sensations and focusing on the breath

    38 minutes ago, Nak Khid said:

    4)  Walking meditation

    That’s what I’ve been thinking about doing, is before I meditate trying to let out some aggression, I have a weight bench with about 90lbs worth of weights, so what I might start doing is exercising or going for a jog, maybe taking a cold shower and doing some breath work before I meditate 

  19. Posted

    @Consept

    37 minutes ago, Consept said:

    Do you see the paradox in forcing yourself to let go? You cant get to inaction or peace from action. 

    How do you get yourself to meditate then?

    @nistake

    31 minutes ago, nistake said:

    Maybe next time try to separate yourself from the anger. If you completely identify with it, it's no wonder you get carried away and "ruins" your session. Instead of reacting to it blindly, just say to yourself: "Now I feel anger. What is this anger? Where does it come from?". Don't try to get away from it, don't try to calm yourself. Observe it silently as long as necessary.

    I try to, it just over powers that rational introspective part of me, the more I practice the more I’m sure it’ll become easier for me to do that

    @Espaim

    29 minutes ago, Espaim said:

    You find the anger that arose during meditation weird because you think of yourself as a chill person

    If you thought of yourself as an angry person, being chill would weird you out

    That's not a healthy way to handle your emotions; that's repression

    From now on, I would suggest you consider yourself someone who gets angry, annoyed or disturbed at some situations. Don't cling to this either, just test this identity for some days.

    I understand your point

    I’m not shocked that there is anger

    I’m just surprised at how easy it is to invoke by just sitting still with my thoughts

  23. Posted

    @inFlow

    14 minutes ago, inFlow said:

    Don't over do in the beginning or you will crash hard. Stop as soon as you are irritated, maybe push a little bit and then stop. You are deleting your ego bit by bit, this is why this work needs to be done step by step or you will get such an ego backlash that you will degrade to something bad. After a while you will settle down, but take it easy.

    Okay, its funny I get irritated very quickly, if I'd quit as I get irritated I doubt I'd make it to ten minutes lol

    But I'll be less harsh on myself, I'm thinking I'll meditate for 15 minutes as soon as I awake and 15 minutes before I sleep

    @Flowerfaeiry

    9 minutes ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

    Because the anger is being released from you.

    Also, meditation can be quite taxing so take it easy. 

    I never really thought of myself as such an angry person, but that's obviously wrong

    I will go a little easier, though I still want to make this habit stick

    @Consept

    5 minutes ago, Consept said:

    1. I'd say your expecting something from the meditation and it seems like you're almost forcing yourself to do it cos you think something will come of it. Letting go means also letting go of any outcomes or expectations, this is hard as it's counter intuitive, but just know on a deeper level nothing will come from this meditation and within that there's a certain freedom. 

    If I didn't force myself I wouldn't do it, and if I didn't think anything would come from it I wouldn't do it 

    7 minutes ago, Consept said:

    2. There maybe anger within you and so if you are letting go even a little this anger is flowing out of you. It could be because of a resistance to an emotion you don't like. Either way just try and observe these emotions and let them pass. People think this easy work it is probably the most difficult thing you'll do 

    Okay, noted 

    I'm definitely finding it difficult to do consistently 

  25. Posted

    @Nak Khid

    5 minutes ago, Nak Khid said:

    3 hours is a lot harder than 30 minutes, that is a big jump.
    What is the nature of the anger? What type of thoughts? 
     

    I've been on and off meditating for the past year. I've tried several times to make the habit stick but I haven't yet.

    My goal is to meditate daily, at the very least meditate for 30 minutes, but I allow myself wiggle room if I want too keep pushing it to see how far I can go. Yesterday I ended up going for three hours.

    I don't know what you mean by the nature of the anger. It's just anger.

    The thoughts vary, its not one specific thing that angers me, generally its just the replaying of memories, what I should of done, what I should be doing now and then when I get lost thinking about more abstract things that too end up pissing my of to the point that I struggle to continue sitting and focusing on my breath.