SQAAD

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Posts posted by SQAAD

  1. Posted · Edited by SQAAD

    @Anna1

    7 hours ago, Anna1 said:

    Not all ego's want to be the classic "best" ego.

    Some want to be the best at being the "worst" (criminals, addicts, etc), the most depressed, most "spiritual" or most, woe is me, "sick".

    Haven't you recognized ego's that get stuck in these groups? 

    As long as the ego feels that it has a "strong identity", that's what's most important to it, even if it's miserable!

     

    Yes you are right.

    For me clinging to being the best or clinging being the worst is the same neurotic behaviour. The ego wants to feel special in both ocassions.

  2. Posted · Edited by SQAAD

    @universe

    17 minutes ago, universe said:

    Well it depends on what you define as being the best.

     

    I see everywhere around me people who have more that they can ask for in terms of survival and still they are never satisfied. If you have 10 million dollars then the ego-mind will want to compete with those who have billions of dollars.

    You have a 100.000 subscribers? Now you want 1 million subscribers.

    You are champion in your sport? Now you want to be remembered as the best ever, you care about your fictitious legacy.

    If you have a nice body, then you take steroids to compete with those are more gifted than you.

    If you have a nice wife, still you wanna bang other women.

    It is never enough for the ego. Never. 

  5. Posted · Edited by SQAAD

    @Conrad

    11 minutes ago, Conrad said:

    Why? It's how everything ought to be. 

    Well i am not playing the game of being the best anymore. 

    Best body, best author, best meditator, best eyes, best legs,  best music, best retreat , best food, best female, best book, best programmer, best speaker etc. It's an absurd obsession.

    Stage Orange tells you all the time to be the best . It all about being the best. If you are not the best then you are a loser . And if you are the best then you are still as empty inside.

    But this is a game you cannot win longterm (being the best). 

  7. Posted · Edited by SQAAD

    I'm getting sick & tired of Spiral Dynamics Stage Orange... Today i did contemplate outside in Nature & i realised that this neurotic desire to be the best at what i do was imprinted to me by society & is not what my authentic self really wants. I just want to be the best version of myself & have Peace of Mind first and foremost!

    I don't care no more being better than other egos. It is really draining me psychologically all this comparing BS.

    Why all the ego want to be the best? What are the mechanics behind this neurotic behaviour?

    From my observations being the best does not make you any more ore less happy. It is a distraction.

  13. Posted

    @Leo Gura

    On 17/5/2019 at 2:12 AM, Leo Gura said:

    Intuition is your HIGHEST feeling. It is the voice of your soul/spirit.

    And don't discount feelings either! Feelings are faithful indicators of how things really are for you. Listen to your feelings more, not less. The problem is that you repress and judge your feelings too much. This is what gets you into trouble.

    Feel your feelings without reacting to them or overthinking them. Just feel for the sake of feeling, not as a means to some end.

    Many times i feel like my feelings are deluding me big time. It's difficult to trust my feelings...

  15. Posted · Edited by SQAAD

    Goal is to accomplish 365 days of celibacy (No fap & No Sex). Noctural emmisions are fine to me. I am not repressing anything.

    I will keep a journal here as well to keep me accountable. 

    Start Date 29/4/2019 --- End Date 29/5/2019

    • Days 1-7: Not much thought about sex since i masturbated a LOT prior to that.

     

    • Day 14th: Massive urges to masturbate. I thought about quitting. The urge was overwhelming. Was afraid if the next days were gonna be like that.

     

    • Days 15-16: No massive urges to masturbate. Kinda surprised.

     

    • Day 17th: I ejaculated in my sleep while dreaming having sex with a woman. Very pleasurable. Wasn't upset at all. My streak remains unbroken.

     

    • Day 18th: Not much sexual desire. A lot weaker than before.Feeling very good & much more confident. But i am expecting strong urges/desires to return in the next days.

     

    • Day 19th:  Started  to get a LOT more attention from both women & men than before. Feeling a lil bit horny around women. Nothing signifcant though.

  16. Posted · Edited by SQAAD

    @Serotoninluv

    3 hours ago, Serotoninluv said:

    I’d say the subjective human experience of intuition is much closer to a feeling than thoughts. For me, relaxing the thinking mind and Being can allow for awareness of a sense, of an appearance. It’s inter-connected with feelings and I woildn’t say it is a feeling or it is not a feeling. In turn, it’s also inter-connected to thoughts. Yet immersion into thoughts can become static noise (as can immersion into feelings). There is no word I can think of to describe. What appears in my mind is “spontaneous wisdom, spontaneous knowing”. This captures some of the essence, yet it’s not quite right, because it’s not jus a “knowledge” thing. It’s more holistic and expansive. 

    It’s an element of Beingness that I’m also exploring, observing and developing. ? 

    I want my intuition to help me win the lottery. :D^_^

  19. Posted · Edited by SQAAD

    @JohnnyBravo

    36 minutes ago, JohnnyBravo said:

     

    A good consumer is someone who never feels good enough.

     

    This is profound. And yes i don't even watch redpill, mgtow etc anymore.

    These guys are toxic as hell. I don't wanna that crap in my life anymore , i'm fed up already. They try to impose their own idea of reality to others by stating absolute statements (which are just assumptions)  & i dislike that A LOT because it just drags you down spirituaity even more. 

    Plus concepts like the level of attractiveness of someone are ridiculous to me. It's not like being 6/10  attractive is something absolute. It's completely relative to your egoic preferences.

  21. Posted · Edited by SQAAD

    @Zigzag Idiot

    8 hours ago, Zigzag Idiot said:

    I've worked in the outdoors for years. This is my collection of empty used up chapstick dispensers.

     

    IMG_0529.JPG

    The Graduates or Alumni.

    Chapsticks that get ruined going through the clothes dryer don't get to become Alumni. They get thrown away.

    Somewhere I have another lost collection to go with these,,,,

    I have a theory that people who are a little OCD are naturally gifted systems thinkers. Maybe,,, maybe not,,,?‍♂️

    Nice collection!

    Do you suffer from OCD?

    (I ask so i can be certain  xD)

  22. Posted · Edited by SQAAD

    @Elisabeth

    5 hours ago, Elisabeth said:

    Understand how sociological findings work. 

    On average (usually, sometimes, ...), OCD sufferers have scored worse on memory and concentration tests. 

    1) It's statistical. Meaning, the fact that some people with the condition suffer from the symptoms doesn't automatically mean it's your symptom too. If you haven't noticed a problem, maybe there's none. 

     

    Thanks for making things a lil bit more clear.

    I just don't wanna read a scientific study anymore. Everytime i do i feel pathologized & terrible. Their whole language is toxic to me and leaves a bad taste in my mouth.  I have read hundreds of scientific studies. Many of them contradict each other. I don't wanna depend who i am on the scientific paradigm even though i respect it .

    After reading studies like these it is no suprise that someone with OCD becomes more OCD about their condition and starts worrying a lot about it. Now i am anxious about how this will effect the rest of my life or if i will be able to accomplish my dreams because of this.

    I considere myself to be a good learner and to have high levels of concentration. After reading some studies it is no suprise that i doubt myself now. 

    Now when i study i doubt myself because of these studies. I just try to ignore the thoughts. I am responsbile about how i react to those studies but sometimes i feel like a victim. It is not something you can easily ignore & keep on going with your day.

     

  23. Posted · Edited by SQAAD

    I came across an interesting article. Some of the critiques on positive psychology are:

    Quote

    The reason positive thinking isn’t genuinely helpful is because ‘peace of mind’ or ‘a sense of inner well-being’ cannot come about as a result of what we think. We can’t think ourselves into feeling happy – we can’t think ourselves into feeling anything that is actually real!

    Thoughts are useful for lots and lots of other reasons, obviously, but the one job they are not good for is making us feel better about things (or making us feel better about ourselves) where we would not otherwise do so. This is – we could say – is a ‘misuse’ of thinking. It’s cheating! It’s the wrong road to go down. It’s the wrong road to go down because it unfailingly leads to a place of unbearable neurotic suffering.

    As soon as we start thinking that we have to ‘do a certain thing’ in order to feel ‘okay’ (or feel at all ‘right’ in ourselves) then we are making ourselves dependent.

     Thinking is of course a ‘two-edged sword’ and so the problem is that just as we can make things seem better than they are with our thinking we can also make them seem worse by thinking about them the other way. Spin can be positive or negative. Thinking can lead to euphoria, but it can equally well lead to despair.

    Whole article here --> http://www.thenegativepsychologist.com/the-downside-of-rational-psychology/

  24. Posted · Edited by SQAAD

    @Serotoninluv Everytime turn around i see something wrong. Life is overly complicated and confusing. Being a dog would be better.

    One person says you should A, another one says you should do B . It is very difficult to get to the truth of things. For some reason God wants to make it extremely difficult for most human beings to bear this life. 

    Yea you're right. One article lead me to another and now i have to deal with the terrible scientific facts.

    Most people are unconscious to the suffering of others. If you are mentally & physically healthy and most things goes your way it is very easy to be happy. The struggle is when you have to deal with bs health problems day in and day out or other problems that seriously diminish the quality of your life and can't get rid off.