ivory

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Everything posted by ivory

  1. Ok, so in prep for 5, I decided to try N,N DMT first. This first dose was just to test the waters. And, it's hard to say how much I actually smoked, because I'm not sure I got it all. But... I used a Health Stone because I've heard wonders about this ROI from some people. I can attest. It's solid and very easy to use. Anyways, this was not was I was expecting at all. The first thing I noticed was a strong ringing in my ears. Then, I started to get visuals. It's hard to describe them, but I think partially because I was looking at a box that some really trippy patterns. Let me say, this was not pleasant trip. I was conscious the whole time, there was a "me", and my thoughts ranged from "this is nuts" to "ok, I know this is only going to last 10 minutes so just hang in there." By the way, I am not an inexperienced with psychedelics. My last trip was last weekend with 300mcg of LSD. Oh, how I love LSD. I can't say that I can see any spiritual significance to this substance. There was no reflection during the trip. There were no regrets, no thoughts about what i needed to change in my life. Just a shit ton of mother fucking visuals and that was all consuming of my attention. However, the one thing I did notice is that I wanted to drink before hand. I wanted to get some beer but decided to try DMT first. Now, I have no desire to drink. I just wanted to post here and share my findings. For those who enjoy DMT, or find value in the molecule, I'd love to hear your thoughts. I'm going to give this shit another shot, but I think I'm going to up to 40 mg and see how deep this shit can go.
  2. There are a lot of trappings in Buddhism. That's why Zen came into the picture... to simplify the teachings. If you are seeking Truth Buddhism can be seen as pure nonsense. But eventually you get into the "reduction of suffering" aspect of spiritual practice and Buddhism makes more sense and becomes more valuable. If you are looking for a spiritual community, good luck. There are very few truth seekers. Most get lost in the trappings or develop really annoying spiritual identities. However, you're not going to find much better anywhere else. That said, if you really want to extract the core teachings of Buddhism, familiarize yourself with the Three Characteristics and develop a breath practice of some sort.
  3. Oh and check out some of the work by John Welwood: http://www.johnwelwood.com/articles/TRIC_interview_uncut.pdf See if that resonates
  4. @TheAvatarState Hey dude. Just to clarify, true dark night occurs when you become deeply aware of the Three Characteristics: Not-self, impermanence (nothing lasts), and unsatisfactoriness (all of life is suffering, unsatisfactory, unpleasant). If you find yourself obsessing over these truths, then you are likely in dark night. The way out is acceptance. You really need to explore these concepts and accept them on a deep level to get through dark night. It's also important to cut out the highs and do what you can to minimize suffering. Equanimity is what you are after. A lot of people claim they are in dark night but are just experiencing depression, and depression can have many causes: low self-esteem (negative self talk), addiction, trauma, low quality of life, isolation, lack of job satisfaction, laziness/complacency, idealism. It is crucial to acknowledge that the apparent individual does in fact have needs and responsibilities. A good therapist can help with this stuff and there's no shame in getting help even if you believe yourself to be an advanced spiritual practitioner. Just don't tell them you don't exist I posit that many spiritual seekers get stuck because some combination of the above. You really need to have a healthy ego to navigate some of the more challenging spiritual terrain. Lastly, make sure you get clear on what's causing your suffering so you know to treat it. Make it a practice to get clear on the thoughts that arise in your mind. You need to make that shit conscious. A noting practice of a free-form of journaling is really helpful here.
  5. Sup my dude! In a way meaningless is always lurking there ready to be rediscovered. Nothing lasts and all of life is satisfactory to some degree or another so it's only a matter of time before you get caught in the trap of meaninglessness. That said, we still have needs. We need to be engaged with the world to fend off meaninglessness. You need a reason to wake up in the morning but you have to accept that life will never meet your expectations. Idealism is the biggest illusion of all. There are ways to cope with meaninglessness. Exercise, meditate, eat somewhat healthy, and free yourself of all addictions. It's also important to get some social interaction, isolation isn't healthy. Of course, even though this will all sound meaningless it's crucial that you keep practicing and living a healthy lifestyle. How does match up with your experience?
  6. I see a lot of people on this forum who seem to believe that the need for friends is transcended once you achieve a certain level of consciousness. Those same people complain of meaninglessness and varying degrees of depression, anxiety, loneliness, and other maladies. Many here are less happy than the average person believing that they are somehow becoming more and more conscious. How does that make any sense? The idea that you will transcend the need for friends is a common misconception in spiritual circles. And I think it's time that someone shed light on the bullshit. Beware of the man who has no friends. Beware of the man who says you don't need any. Look, if you don't have friends, you have a problem. It's pretty common for people on the spiritual path to check out and give up social interactions all together thinking they are pursuing a path of personal growth. All you are doing is being reckless. For fuck's sake, take care of your lives. We have needs, and one of them happens to be relationship. Furthermore, the most growth you will encounter will be in some form of relationship. Just ask yourself, what are your biggest fears? I am willing to bet, it has something to do with another. Rejection, abandonment, criticism, vulnerability, conflict, etc. Stop avoiding the areas in which you need to grow. Friends are good for many reasons. They serve as playmates, friends, lovers, sources of new information and opportunity, and. In other words, the improve the quality of life, and some may even say they make life worth living. I happen to agree. If you want to be unhappy or struggle with mental health issues, not having friends is a great way to accomplish that: DANGER and DEMENTIA. I hear this all the time, "I have lost interest in other people because they don't care about self-actualization and non-duality". Guess what, part of self-actualizing is learning to be content with what you got. That's part of maturing. Accept and adapt bitches. It is possible to be spiritually mature and connect with less conscious people... within reason. In fact, if you were really mature, you'd be proficient interacting with the plebs. Now, there are three categories of friends: Non-salvageable, salvageable, and ideal. Non-salvageable friends are those that mistreat you, belittle you, violate your trust, and make you feel shitty about yourself most of the time. Get rid of them as quick as possible. Salvable friends are those you don't necessarily jive with but that aren't bad to have around. You may have known them since high school or for a long period of time but seem to be drifting apart for various reasons. Perhaps they're into religion, money, sex, validation, fame, or have other low-consciousness interests. They're not bad people, but they aren't helping us get to where we are headed. If you do not have an ideal set of friends yet then it's a good idea to keep these ones around until you do. Don't burn bridges simply because you think you are evolved. Ideal friends are those you deem healthy, interesting, admirable, nurturing, or some combination thereof. I want to make it clear that you will rarely find folks who's lives revolve around self-development or non-duality. You are going to have to lower the bar a little. What you are looking for is friends who take interest in: psychology, philosophy, yoga, art, traveling, exploring, meditation, social justice, health, politics, nature, reading, documentaries, podcasts. These are the friends who will nurture you, help you grow, and lead to fulfillment. If your social circle does not look like this, then you need to get out there and make some new friends. Trust me, it's worth it.
  7. @7thLetter I actually agree with most of your points. Let's not confuse the difference between solitude and isolation. Solitude is healthy whereas isolation is not. That's one of the points that I'm trying to emphasize in this thread. This link also goes on to say: Though dependent on others for the satisfaction of such basic needs as love, belongingness, safety and respect, they get their principal satisfactions from their own development and continued growth. The motif, in the life conditions GREEN has brought about, is to make the best for yourself – this vMEME is very much on the self-expressive side of the Spiral! Self-actualising people tend to have deep interpersonal relations with others. They are selective, however, and their circle of friends may be small, usually consisting of others capable of 2nd Tier thinking. In spite of their tendency to privacy, they often attract others to them as admirers or disciples. I definitely agree that a yellow would walk away with lost causes. Your algebra analogy is rather appropriate. I also agree that many people won't be intellectually stimulating, but I don't think that would be true for all. Yellow has integrated the healthy manifestations at orange and green (for example) so interactions with people at that level won't necessarily be 100% boring. I would agree for sure. I just think it's important to acknowledge that we do have social needs and the lack of tier 2 thinking in society will require a certain level of acceptance for those needs to be met. A yellow person will likely need to accept that his stage green friend is just where he happens to be developmentally. But, he may get bored or agitated from time to time. Yeah, that's basically what I was saying above. I think there's a lot of truth to it. Think about it this way. Health practices, spiritual and growth practices, creative pursuits, and career development. A lot of that happens independently of others. As one develops, there's a desire for growth in all aspects of life. A desire for wholeness. We can only devote so much time to others in order to focus on the other aspects of our lives. Also consider that society is structured so that we have to work long hours just to support ourselves. In a more sane society we would work less and devote more time to other things. One of those areas might be relationships. Instead we are forced to choose, we have to decide what's more important. Obviously, if people are lame we are going to choose more meaningful activities. Maybe things would be different if a larger percentage of people were teir 2, who knows. Given the current set of conditions I can totally see how solitude would be a characteristic at yellow. Again, you and I actually agree on a lot here. We may have differing opinions on whether or not we have "social needs" at all. I'm not sure. I also seem to have the view that yellow would integrate the healthy manifestations of green, and that would include meaningful relationships. i'm not sure where you stand on that. It may also be possible that you don't make a distinction between "isolation" and "solitude" so it's sort of ambiguous to me which one is synonymous with "lone wolf" in your book. This thread was mostly addressing those that isolate. I am actually a huge advocate of solitude.
  8. I personally prefer the 200-300ug range but I am very experienced with LSD. I gradually increased from 100 to 150 to 200 and beyond. I suggest you do the same. 100 is plenty if you are new to LSD. Once you get bored with the lower doses you will start craving more. Listen to that desire and let that process happen organically.
  9. It's going to be a while before we see a shift. What I propose is that each person pursue their own truth. No need to suffer because the rest of society stuck in a meaning crisis. Support authentic causes. Get clear on and stick to your values. Live your truth and encourage other to do the same.
  10. We easily accept what we find familiar, convenient, and beneficial. As a divided nation it's very difficult to make lasting change because there's so much opposition. Almost every policy push-back and obstacles and that's why nothing gets done. I think what we need is someone like Bernie who's willing to push the progressive agenda to the max in the shortest time possible. For that to happen we'd need a Democrat controlled House and Senate. Once people see that universal healthcare, affordable education, a living wage are all beneficial people will shut their mouths and we can begin to move forward as a nation. Once you have a taste of the good life you can't go back to a lower quality of life. Alternatively, we're gonna have to wait for Millennials and GenZ-ers to mature, vote, and take office. One of the problems we have with these generations is that they are lazy and don't vote. But, they will grow out of that. And, when they do stage blue/orange will be on its way out.
  11. Look bad to who? The left is already having a field day with Biden, accusing him of being a corporate democrat. Remember, he has no progressive agenda, he won on the platform of being "not Trump". He will undo the shit that Trump did but for the most part I expect him to be complacent. Healthcare will still be ridiculously expensive, min wage will still be <$8 an hour, college will still be out of reach for most. He is going to take a lot of heat from the left. To the right he is a puppet of the radical left. So they will cry socialism at every turn. He will go down as the worst pres in history according to fox news, stripping people of their "freedoms" requiring masks, increasing taxes, and shit like that. The only people that like Biden are old conservatives who don't like Trump.
  12. I'm hoping LSD makes the list. My personal favorite.
  13. First of all it sounds like you're missing out on play and relationships, but it also sounds like you're in some sort of existential crisis or spiritual transformation. Shit like this is very difficult to diagnose because there are human factors as well as spiritual factors that aren't well understood. You need to get real clear on what it is that you want, and what it is that you need. But you're also going to need to temper those expectations with reality. Life is devoid of meaning and inherently unsatisfactory so no matter what you do or where you go you will feel like something is missing. But, you do need a reason to get out of bed in the morning so don't think you can go live in a cave and be mentally healthy. As things become clearer to you you will understand the necessity of balancing responsibility and acceptance.
  14. @Jayson G I hope you don't mind me chiming in here but I can totally relate. On one hand you want to streamline your process on the other hand you waste a lot of time on low consciousness activities. Check it. There are a couple of things going on here. You put a lot of pressure on yourself and you suffer. You're getting in your own with with all the planning, perfectionism, and trying to get it right. I'm not saying to give up entirely but you may want to check your motives. You appear to come from a place of lack both internally and externally. You need to get to the point where are content with both the internals and externals of your life. As for giving up addictions and distractions this is a life long journey. Be easy and patient with yourself, it's only ego that wants to tackle too much.
  15. Feeling alive, healthy, and free from preferences. Variety makes me feel alive, being good to myself makes me feel healthy, and embracing life's challenges leaves me with an appreciation for it all.
  16. @Willie Are you familiar with the phrase "not knowing"? You'll hear it a lot in Zen. It's pretty self-explanatory but basically what it means is that we don't know, we can't know, and we need to be okay with that. That said, once the mind realizes that nothing is knowable it's important to cultivate values such as love, kindness, and health. We literally know nothing but at the same time we are responsible for everything and life can seriously turn on you if you don't behave accordingly. Strive to live a healthy lifestyle and be wary of anyone who doesn't.
  17. While we are being honest here I would like to add that the new age ego is my least favorite to be around.
  18. Yeah, I hear ya. The first noble truth is that all of life is suffering. I get that. The question is, how much suffering? We need a reason to wake up in the morning but we need to be honest about the fact that we have very little control. That doesn't mean that we should play victim. But it does mean that there are no guarantees. Yes, and this pisses me off. I still struggle with this.
  19. @No Self Great analysis of the new age movement. I don't know anyone deeply entrenched in conspiracy theories but I have known many new-agers. What has astonished me is their willingness to pile on belief after belief without questioning any of it. I had always wondered why until I had a conversation with one of them. He said, "Without spirituality life would be meaningless." I think you are right in assessing the desire to feel good as a primary motive. But it's also true that many of them are avoiding an existential meltdown (we could argue that that is the desire to feel good). Nothing lasts, all of life is unsatisfactory, and there's no self to experience either. Not an easy pill to swallow. It's much more palatable to believe that we have spirits guiding us then to consider the possibility that we're 100% groundless.
  20. @Mjolnir Quite frankly I think you're in a better place than those who obsess over self-development. There's a spectrum with "over-doer" and "under-doer" at each ends. You're more likely to feel content than those who are in a hurry to get somewhere. That said, if there are things you want out of life that you're not addressing then you need to resolve that inner conflict. I used to be an over-doer, now I probably lean more to the under-doer end of the spectrum. I feel rather content even though my life isn't perfect (and nor will it ever be). I think that one mistake a lot of people make is that then undertake a self-development journey with the intention of improving themself. I won't say that's wrong, but it is a bit misguided. You grow by doing the things you want and by doing the things you have to do. What's the point of being a super-hero if your life sucks? Lead a meaningful life. Do that. Start there, get clear on what you want and pursue that. That's how you'll grow. Don't pursue personal growth because you think you should. Lastly, start small. Push yourself a little more than you want to each day. There's no hurry and there's no reason to make yourself miserable running towards the future. Give yourself a break, start slowly, and inch towards a meaningful life.
  21. Are you familiar with the three characteristics (also known as the three marks of existence)? Meditate on that. The first characteristic is that nothing lasts. The second is that all of life is unsatisfactory (in one way or another). So, you tell me. That said, when you accept life on a deep level, even with the ups and downs and disappointments you can reach a level of okay-ness. That's what you're looking for.
  22. @Leo Gura Just out of curiosity how long would you say serious seekers who make fairly consistent progress spend at each stage in the spiral before transitioning to the next? I really only care about the time one may spend at orange and green before moving on. What have you observed on this forum and what was your personal experience?
  23. I'd really like to see some evidence of this. I personally think that someone at yellow, or even healthy green, is equally content hanging with friends or in solitude. I have notice that there are times in my life where I am more solitudinous than others, but it has more to do with my interests and projects at the time rather than spiritual maturity. Did you see this post from Leo? It takes time to accumulate a group of high quality friends but I highly recommend it. Most of my friends are introverts like myself so they deep and varying interests. We talk about spirituality, psychology, psychedelics, politics, health; and we go on adventures together. Luckily I live in a fairly diverse city so it's not too difficult to find like minded people.
  24. @Jake777 Why would you want to push your ideas onto others. People learn and grow on life's terms.