karkaore

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Posts posted by karkaore

  5. Posted

    58 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

    But how much can preference change?

    I'm a straight male. Been all my life. I was living with a male friend at one point in my life. I remember coming back to our place after me going on a mini retreat to my village. After I returned to our place, I smoked some weed and sat down on a couch to meditate. He came into the room, sat down next to me and eventually we started talking. Love poured over me, I was in shock. I wanted to tell him I love him and kiss him. I didn't though. He is into consciousness work as well. I could tell that he felt it too.

    Preferences can change dramatically depending on your consciousness level.

  7. Posted

    Contemplate. Meditate. Yoga. Psychedelics. Contemplate. Meditate. Yoga. Psychedelics. Contemplate. Meditate. Yoga. Psychedelics. Contemplate. Meditate. Yoga. Psychedelics.

    Got more questions such as What is God? What is Love? What am I? What is a thought? What is consciousness? What is Reality? What is space? What is time?

    Contemplate. Meditate. Yoga. Psychedelics. Contemplate. Meditate. Yoga. Psychedelics. Contemplate. Meditate. Yoga. Psychedelics. Contemplate. Meditate. Yoga. Psychedelics.

    Why does "my" mind look for answers somewhere "out there"? Why is "my" and "out there" is in comma's? What is understanding? What is perception?

    Contemplate. Meditate. Yoga. Psychedelics. Contemplate. Meditate. Yoga. Psychedelics. Contemplate. Meditate. Yoga. Psychedelics. Contemplate. Meditate. Yoga. Psychedelics...

  8. Posted · Edited by karkaore

    What was the video Leo released in which he was talking about how debates don't work? Maybe it was his blog, I can't recall.

    I suggest y'all to check it out if you haven't already. Oh and to those of you who have already watched it but still had the patience to read through all of this, go watch it again.

    WTF is this gender war?! Guys, please..?

  13. Posted · Edited by karkaore

    1 hour ago, lmfao said:

    I feel like I have 100 different problems at once that it's hard to start anything. Too many things wrong at once. We can only do 1 thing at time, and even that I get distracted by or don't/can't carry out. It's like one massive neurotic chain where each element/link strengthens the whole. 
    If I try to focus on 1 element, some random other element will boomerang and hit me on the back of the head, entering my mind and distracting me, pulling me down.

    Distracted much? Get rid of these distractions. Replace activities that make you feel like shit (anything that makes you lazy, unworthy and empty) with activities that make you feel good. (things that make you feel strong, calm and give sense of accomplishment)

    If you going to suffer, do it properly! Get yourself out of your way, do hard things that make your life easy.

     

    1 hour ago, lmfao said:

    Deep existential despair and depression, chronic anxiety both internally and whenever I go outside, constant nausea, volatile and unstable mood, anger, chronic fatigue, [ major DPDR with multiple discontinuities and blackouts in perception, self and past], autism, trouble being honest, managing relationships, triggered by other people.  Low motivation, youtube addiction, discord addiction, Netflix addiction, porn addiction, (Unmanaged things which are problems); large amounts of university work, spiritual work, health work, psychological work, life purpose work, diet. Severe insomnia and very abnormal sleep schedule, extremely intense nausea every time I eat anything, poor posture, headaches. Onslaught of negative feeling and emotion, reaching very down.

    Good. Live and feel it all. Really FEEL it.
     

    1 hour ago, lmfao said:

     I may have somewhat logical explanations for how things turned out this way, but the facts don't explain the depths of suffering being this deep.

    Facts are what? Something objective, independent from you?

    Is there a chance that the logic you are using for trying to explain things is the reason why anything needs to be explained at all?

     

    1 hour ago, lmfao said:

    Only thing which could save me now is a real miracle, complete paradigm shift, but I have no clue. At the very least I can stop pretending a few minor things maybe, in this moment. I have this one particular flavour of feeling brimming and filling my present moment, and it's very painful and negative. I have no words for how bad it feels. Even though it's painful, in some bizarre fashion there are milliseconds where it feels more neutral. A wave/dynamic nature to it which isn't completely bad. I don't understand what's going on, it's still painful. 
    I keep trying and trying to distract myself, but it's just gonna remain here until I do something or face it? Sigh. Maybe I can get through this.................Just focus on this feeling.

    This too shall pass.

  15. Posted · Edited by karkaore

    @Striving for more has a legit point there. BUT... who does one trust? How do you decide which gurus are legit and which are scammers? Especially when you have to pay first before u get disclosed with any sort of info.

    From one standpoint YouTube is a waste of time. From another, these videos (if taken seriously, and not just sitting there absorbing without any kind of actual ACTION) provide some sort of filter where mild understanding of what these people are talking about develops. And once it does it becomes much easier filtering the bullshit gurus out.

    @Ameer I can not thank you enough for recommending VP. :x outright badass. He reminds me of Leo in a sense that he says so many things I don't want to hear but deep down I know they are true and it makes me act on them. Like a hard reality-slap-to-the-face kinda thing, makes you wake up.xD

  16. Posted · Edited by karkaore

    8 hours ago, deso said:

    For a long time I thought enlightenment would be the only thing that I wanted. Especially since this awakening that I had. Nothing made sense anymore. I foolishly tried to glue together the glass that just got shattered.

    I failed miserably in bringing life to that which I‘ve seen. I‘ve neglected what my heart was yelling beneath mist of futility. I continued entertaining my head while not making a move towards what felt good/right. I tried to understand shit well off my current stage of development without even getting the fundamentals right. And if some of those fundamentals of life aren’t in order enlightenment simply isn’t possible.

    I get all that. But I don’t get how to get out of this state that I’m in. Because no matter what I do I feel horrible. I’m not interested in anything anymore. I feel the urge to do something, but nothing excites me, nothing really resonates or gives me the feeling of ‘yeah, I would really like to do that’. I tried out a lot of stuff, but everything is just draining the life out of me even more.

    Stupid question, but how can I build the life of my dreams if there’s literally no resonance at all?

    I feel you bro. Nothing excites, nothing motivates, nothing does anything in that place. It took me about a year to even begin recovering from that. What happened to me was I ran out of money quite quickly and ended up living with my grandmother at first, now am living with my mom. xD But that's not the point, the point is that when I got in a situation like this I noticed many, many things in which I can help my grandmother, help my mom. Helping even with small things brought me joy. Seeing that genuine smile on their face.. Oh man.  That gave me a sense of purpose and direction.

    It all comes down to sympathy, compassion and love. You do love your relatives, your friends, right? Try doing something nice for them, something genuine and kind. See how they react, see how you feel afterwards. This might reignite the fire, at least give it a spark.

    You can help yourself by helping others, by helping others you will help yourself.

  17. Posted · Edited by karkaore

    @deso I was going through something similar to what you describing.  Still am to some extent. I am making an assumption that you do not have a life purpose yet and the best advice I can give you is forget all that crap about absolute, spirituality and what not and do what you gotta do - get your life together. Whatever that means to you. Why the hurry to awaken? You got all the time in the world to sit under a fucking tree in bliss but that's obviously not what you want. Do what you want to do.

    If your life isn't in the right order it's gonna be extremely difficult pursuing awakening or anything in that matter. Leo said something similar to this(can't remember the video nor the exact quoting) but the idea is the same. I didn't listen. Learned it the hard way.

  18. Posted

    @7thLetter @Striving for more @Ameer
    Thank you all for recommendations. I have watched quite a few videos on this and have found some valuable nuggets. Shiva Krishnan 10 part series on forex trading is pure gold and have helped me the most. Utilizing all the tools he talks about made me understand the ways in which the market moves. I haven't been serious enough yet to start live trading, but predicting the way in which the market will move became easy at this point. Have some more things to understand in terms of entries/exits but overall it all starting to make sense.

  19. Posted

    @IamMystic IME LSD lasts 10-12 hours when taken orally. Comeup is about 1-2hours after administration, peak starts 3-4hours in.

    Only tried plugging it once. Done 150ug. Comeup about 30min after administration, started peaking about 1.5-2h in. Trip lasted around 6hours.
    Trip was much more intense but way gentler at the same time. After trying plugging I see no point in taking it orally again. Only do it with microdosing.

  21. Posted

    Everything(this word implies things) is Being-ing. Sea is sea-ing. Grass is grass-ing. Dog is dog-ing. I is I-ing. It's all an activity of the mind, which is itself an activity. There are no things! Not me as I imagines, not you as I imagines, not anything as I imagines!

    It's all self evident. Once the mind assumes "things" the reality gets utterly confused. The more of these assumptions are stripped off, the clearer ones seeing becomes.

    All that can ever exist is being.

  23. Posted

    You guys are confusing yourselves. Underestimating too.!

    Do you actually know what it is you are calling pain? Do you actually know what it is you are calling pleasure?

    What about you stop making distinctions between the two (and in fact everything) and look in there? Just look! Find out what it is.

    Feeling a sensation you like and calling it pleasure is not it. The sensation is not the label you put onto it.

  24. Posted

    20 minutes ago, Nahm said:

    were both trips from the same batch?

    Batches indeed were not the same. Was thinking about this too. Potency regarding shrooms is a bummer.

    24 minutes ago, Nahm said:

    was the batch you felt no effects from the same batch she felt no effects from?

    Yes. For me they were very potent, same as the other friend who took them with me. But for her there were no effects. She doesn't have a very clean diet too (this is where the question about diet came from). I do have a clean diet especially couple of days prior to trips, do not consume any food either before taking the substance. But wouldn't it make sense that even if the diet is bad, the substance would have to take effect sooner or later anyway?

    32 minutes ago, Nahm said:

    Coming from that reality is literally love, and she is literally love, the list you shared strikes me as on the heavy side of suppression of misunderstanding of feeling & thoughts.

    That was my reaction when she provided me with the list of medicines she takes. She told me that the trip she had isn't the reason for her "need" to take the meds. However, the reason she provided me with somehow does not sell for me. Maybe I'm just too ignorant.

    37 minutes ago, Nahm said:

    where’s she at with self-love, appreciation, gratitude, stopping and smelling the roses so to speak, expressing how she is feeling, putting any emotional pain into creating beauty, etc?

    She is very, very closed up. Fragile. Her actions tells me that she doesn't trust her self. From where I am now, it's very hard, nearly impossible to shine at least a bit of light onto her emotional pain and help her understand her self. I don't have the understanding nor the maturity needed on my own emotional being to cope with the ignorance that she is in. "My doctor told me, so I must" is what she sands by. Either she is scared to shit to try and look in there for herself or she doesn't see the need for it and thinks that society will solve her life.

    And the fucking meds are making her numb as hell. She got very, very lazy too. Gaining weight, eating every two hours. Doesn't care what she eats, doesn't care about any exercise either. It hurts so bad watching her go through this.