karkaore

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Posts posted by karkaore

  4. Posted

    ..walking around with these massive balls of steel of yours!

    Recently I've experienced something I have never did before. Paranoia. Aw yiss baby. Caused by me, too much weed and wrong person being with me at a time. Let's call him Tim.

    Sun is shining, it's very warm. I am in UK, at a time UK was suffering record breaking heat. We were sitting in the yard, chatting. Tim decided to read up on the recent article about global warming. Silly Tim, he had no idea how bad of an idea that was. "Record breaking heat, temperatures higher than anticipated blablabla".
    I remembered the recent flooding in Germany - "Imagine water levels rising fast AF, thunderstorms, heavy-long rain starting to happen right now, floods washing substructures of houses" I said.

    "NOW??!" - Tim replied. I stayed quiet. I could see the tension rising in him as we were sitting out in the sun. I picked up on that. It got more and more intense. I could barely keep my shit together after a while. I kept trying to surrender.

    "People really need to not know" and that face Peter Ralston made when he was being interviewed by Leo popped up. And that's when I sort of got an idea of what he meant by saying that. Hahaaaaa... I thought I was brave, I knew more or less about things. Bullshit. All bullshit. I could not let go. In that state I was convinced that if I did, I will die. Such a scared little monkey. This made me humble. Respectful, appreciative of the things masters do. This is no joke.

    Bless the balls of steel you guys have. Mine are still being alloyed. xD

  7. Posted

    1 hour ago, Daniel347 said:

    1. Why is the reality the way it is and not the other one?

    What way is the reality?

     

    1 hour ago, Daniel347 said:

    2. If I imagined everything why couldn't I imagine that for example, there is actual hell or heaven and there is actual sense in religion, etc? Also another similar question to the previous one - why God couldn't imagine 24/7 pain and suffering without being able to die, this is one of my fear...

    Did you imagine everything? How do you know?

     

    1 hour ago, Daniel347 said:

    3. Can God only imagine things? Or can God make something real, not imaginary? If no, then it means he is not all-powerful?

    Whatever we imagine is real. What is the difference between imaginary and real?

  8. Posted · Edited by karkaore

    I've been contemplating what depersonalization/de-realization is and I wanna share where my efforts are leading me so far.

    Here is a description of depersonalization/de-realization from wiki:

    "Depersonalization-derealization disorder is a mental disorder in which the person has persistent or recurrent feelings of depersonalization or derealization. Depersonalization is described as feeling disconnected or detached from one's self. Individuals may report feeling as if they are an outside observer of their own thoughts or body, and often report feeling a loss of control over their thoughts or actions. Derealization is described as detachment from one's surroundings. Individuals experiencing derealization may report perceiving the world around them as foggy, dreamlike/surreal, or visually distorted."

    Depersonalization is described as feeling disconnected or detached from one's self. Derealization is described as detachment from one's surroundings.

    I sit down to meditate. I watch my breath. I become more aware of my thoughts, feelings. In a sense, I detach myself from the thought/feeling. I "zoom out" and see thoughts/feelings more clearly. So what am I doing there, exactly? Am I not "depersonalizing/derealizing" in a sense? Isn't this the "endgoal" of spirituality? To lose yourself only to find yourself again?

    If I'm an individual who didn't have any awakenings, has no clue nor interest in knowing, living my normal life, I don't know anything else. I am "depersonalized/derealized", only I am not aware of it. Wouldn't you agree?

  10. Posted

    4 hours ago, Human Mint said:

    How does exercise or dancing feel like? Does something feels ok?

    Am committed to exercise, although it doesn't really affect this. Not as far as I am aware.

    This state is not linear. It comes and goes in periods of weeks/months or something close to that.

    Yes, on good days many things are enjoyable. Music, simply taking a shower.. man, the things that come to me in the shower. xD

    Music is genius. I get so immersed in the sound it freaks me out, but it's also pleasurable.

    The mere intensity of all this is what causing the ego to freak out and start panicking. And I am not particularly doing any practices pretty much for 8months or so. 

  18. Posted

    So is life simple or complex? Will it take me decades to awaken or is there nothing to do?

    This very much depends on what type of question we start off of. The paths will be very different depending on if it's a 'what' or 'how' or 'why'.

    A 'what' and a 'how' does seem to bring up complexity. We run into all kinds of obsticles that we need to overcome when dealing with 'what' and 'how'. These questions can take decades to actualise. All good with that, besides the fact that so many people do not enjoy that grind. They struggle and doubt, getting stuck between both mental and emotional sealings. From there it only gets more and more complicated and confusing.

    Why?

    Notice the question. It's a 'why'. Let's see how things unfold if we start our questioning with a 'why' before we even consider taking any action towards a 'what' and a 'how'. IME, knowing the 'why' of my desires automatically makes me committed to it. When we know the 'why' then the 'what' and 'how' actually become much easier to accomplish. When we know the 'why' we have strong vision, purpose. Real, fulfilling goals. Once we have that, the 'what' and 'how' lose much of its weight. Our every action becomes aligned with our desires, we stop wasting energy on the inner tug of war. That energy then being channelled towards our goals. Simply know the 'why' and the heavy complexity of life will feel so much much lighter and obvious.

     

  20. Posted

    What are you trying to achieve with this topic? Can you not see that nothing will change for you, regardless the responses?

    To know, to comprehend what is being said there contemplation, meditation, psychedelic experiences are needed. Direct experience.

    If you are really interested, genuinely curious about what you are asking - you have to go and see for yourself!