Wyze

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Posts posted by Wyze

  1. Posted

    I started travelling because I didn't feel a sense of community with the people I grew up with. I've always been "different" and thats looked down on. I felt travelling freed me, and I learnt alot too. Since coming back; I don't particularly feel like I can "slot" back into society. I feel even more different than before.

    I think travelling can change people and have different effects on people.

  4. Posted · Edited by Wyze

    @zambize

    I think your very luck that when you opened up; your friends accepted you. Mine didn't. I became the butt joke. Some even tried to change me back. Some gave me disapproving looks and sighs (literally, I kid you not)

    It really depends on the friends at the end of the day. I think I was stuck in a very specific group of people due to a lot of unique circumstances. There was a lot of in/out group thinking going on, and anyone that is different will be bullied. In those type of social circle; its alot safer to just leave and find similar minded people.

    But thanks for all the advance anyways. I think what you've said really nicely articulated what I was feeling about it.

     

  5. Posted

    @DrewNows I think thats a good way to see it. but I have tried that in the past (basically my entire life), people start treating you as their personal psychotherapist. Overtime you become really drained. Yes you learn to set boundaries, but the problem is that you've taught other people to relate to you though "you being understanding, listening and accommodating" all the time.

    Make no mistake, I had alot of "friends" and very popular during that time. But when shit hits the fan, everyone disappeared, some thought my personal traumatic events was "funny" and "great for gossiping". (In hard times, you really see people's character)

    The real friends are those who can provide you with a 2 way street, and in essence; your looking for someone similar to you (both are listeners) and respect you and your life...hence similar values/worldviews.

  8. Posted

    @JohnnyBravo I think we have similar pov on loneliness. 

    Quote

    this style of loneliness you speak of is a thirstiness for you to connect to yourself/inner voice.

    Can you clarify this type of loneliness more? I've always find it hard to articulate like the way you did.

    I've always wondered if this type of loneliness is what drives us to seek "external" comforts. Be it friends, drugs, partying etc?

  10. Posted · Edited by Wyze

    I think what the OP is saying that; by not caring what other people think, you will actually risk being ostracized from the group. This is extremely evident when you have friends or are in social groups that are extremely Blue. (Its a tribal pack mentality)

    I can understand that, and you end up feeling lonely because you don't have anyone to connect to. I'm struggling with something similar.

    But if you don't express your true self, you will find that you can never find people who genuinely cares about you. Yes you will risk being alone, and friendless. But it will open up an opportunity to find REAL friends. (people with similar values to you)

  12. Posted

    We all know cults take on camouflages of ideologies depending on which stage of people they are trying to appeal to.

    So tier 1:

    Cults during stage blue: The Ultimate Figure head

    Cults during stage Orange: The Ultimate Scientific Truth

    Cults during stage Green: The Ultimate Community

    What do you think cult in tier 2 will look like? (I think it is possible to have a negative manifestation of tier 2 simply because you need an extreme to move onto the higher stages. Without the negativity, the excess, the destructiveness or simple "its not working" - the individual will not ve motivated to move up)

  13. Posted · Edited by Wyze

    The more morally corrupt methods you've used to achieve status in Orange, the harder it is to move into Green?

    Is it because of the emotional damage a person did to others (and also to themselves) that it is harder for them to face in Green?

    I am thinking along the lines of moral injury, and the effect of moral injury is that a person will not be able to face and embody emotions.

  17. Posted

    I feel like negotiation allows both parties' voice to be heard? Especially when conflict arises.

    I think negotiation in Blue wouldn't work (unless its combining alliances?)

    Negotiation is about win the zero sum game in Orange. (correct me if i'm wrong)

    I'm thinking in Green its opening to hearing all voices? But what would it look like in Yellow?

  20. Posted

    6 hours ago, eleveneleven said:

    (Though also be aware that some Stage Yellow people are subtle about their non-judgement in order to strategically avoid triggering Green, so you may not realize they are Yellow. "Oh, those people in the South are only doing what they think is right by voting for conservatives. They might need to go through that before they realize what they're doing." does not sit well with Green.)

    I've noticed this too. I find Yellow individuals tend to have a very big picture view of the situation (the interplay of the system) and avoid making judgements. They often literally forget the need to address the emotional aspect of the situation, when they are with Green.

    At times they can appear really Orange because their choice of wording is none emotional. I think they do appeal to Orange the most, however Yellow will eventually find Orange too egotistic and materialistic. Yellows are sympathetic to Greens, but often hold them at a distance.

  24. Posted

    @EternalForest  For those who had a lucky childhood and teenage years, finding their identity would be alot easier. Some will forever be stuck in a endless motion.

    Some people are good, and have grown alot, they are meant to be the sages and leaders of the "adult" world. But I feel like, its always and normally the person with the lowest emotional maturity that dictates how high up a group functions. "You are only as strong as your weakest link".

    I'm glad that we have tools like the internet and YouTube and Leo, to help younger generations to "sort their shit out" earlier.

     

  25. Posted · Edited by Wyze

    @EternalForest I think your onto something. and heres my 2c.

    I've always felt really strange about this "adult world" until I met Spiral Dynamics and it all starts to make sense.

    During our childhood - we are mostly still learning about everything, so we don't have the emotional understanding and expression. But there is a sense of pureness and authenticity in children (most).

    During our highschool years and possibly even extended to uni days, this is where I felt the most comfortable and happiest. If you have successfully developed in your childhood without major trauma, people are able to go after their achievements. (start of orange but healthy compeition) But the environment is still somewhat "in a bubble" and if you were not majorly picked on during this time, you are able to develop some good friendship and truly experience emotional connection and authenticity. (This is where I started to tap into Green and felt most connected and understood.)

    As adults - what the fuck LOL. Everyone is highly inauthentic (from traumas) and some people are literally looking to seek revenge everywhere. You have workplace bullying, ruthless cutthroat, extreme competition, workplace games, dating games etc. (I think the adult environment is unhealthy orange). I witness after over a decade as an adult"; all my friends have turned extremely selfish and self-centered.

    For example, recently a friend of mine is getting married, and during our catchup with the 3 of us; my friend (getting married), my other friend (already married) and myself. We have known each other since age of 13. The whole time during this catchup, they were 1. comparing their ring size and 2. comparing their house size and how many room. 3, obtaining information out of each other over the perceived value of their homes. WTF... (extremely orange or what?) and I was waiting for the conversation to turn real like "how do you feel about getting married, and start this new chapter in your life?"...waiting for the entire night.

    I think we are all forced into following the majority or where the spiral colour is.