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Posts posted by mmKay
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Ahh man I've randomly read through this thread and Im thrilled to go clubbing again. I've done a lot of things over the last few months that arent directly game but that translate into game, like improvised speeches in front of a crowd, hosting a toastmasters event, improvised stand up comedy Infront of a hundred people, lots of bachata clases, singing in public, picked up the kazoo, improv theatre, lots of guitar playing and lastly this thing called Contact improv which Is absolutely gold for practicing physicallity and eye contact
I'm hyped to see how this translates into game when I restart this challenge
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On 13/1/2024 at 10:54 PM, pablo_aka_god said:On 13/1/2024 at 10:54 PM, pablo_aka_god said:I wish I new WTF happenned.
That specific girl has trauma and emotional injury around dating, as she verbally told you.
Those emotions bubbled up when talking about her trauma, which put her in a sad/ down emotional state. This affected and colored how she saw you in that moment.
Together with the fact that opening up like that to a stranger is too much of a serious and non playful topic, she subconsciously put you in the BF category ( big commitment , emotion investment...) over player category ( low commitment, nothing serious, just fun , down for hooking up) - but she's not ready for a relationship, she doesn't want to get hurt, so this closed your door
A playful fun vibe would have you taken you further in the intaction
If you managed to have sex through an initial player vibe it would actually open your posibility for a relationship even though she may still not be absolutely ready and still dealing with trauma , and potentially help her heal
That's just my opinion , and you will never know the actual cause because human beings and specifically women are extremely complicated creatures
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Basically break the fourth wall of existence
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17 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:SHAME, definition:
"A painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior."
That sounds more like the definition of "guilt"
Shame can be that but also be about who you are and not only what you did. Like your self-image ( identity) and how you think others perceive you.
Like being ashamed of being broke or short has nothing to do with doing anything, it's an inner game issue. Guilt is a about consciously doing stuff you know is bad by your own or societies standards ( stealing, telling lies, hurting people... )
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1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:The stuff you resent her about, you should communicate with her about that to try to clear that bad air.
I didn't even know the concept of bad air. Pretty cool to put a label on it that situation
Plowing ChatGPT on " bad air" is gold
Maybe release a conscious relationships vid for the big comeback :0
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@Ben Landrail yup. Normal people practice tuning their voice against the piano
This dude tunes pianos with his voice , no joke. We have an example of that few pages behind
That being said I actually don't like the tamber of his voice. His harmonies are mind-blowing though
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Google game global
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1 hour ago, MuadDib said:Men are deeply sensitive, sophisticated and complex emotional beings.
Men are borderline autistic compered with women
The kind you're describing is an exception
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@Majed ofc. I personally met some that went there on and off. Check the game global group
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22 minutes ago, Emerald said:You missed the essence entirely because it subtracted the compassion and understanding of root causes.
Perhaps it misses an compassionate approach , but the root causes are that all men are horny, some barely get laid if at all, and these men, who by definition are insecure ( to some degree or another - I put macho men in that category as well , one degree less insecure than than feeling helpless and depressed ) feel powerless and rationalize all kind of stuff to cope with their situation
This is just a modern manifestation of a certain demographic that has always existed. It's the kind of social demographic that over hundreds of thousands of years would have to resort to r*pe as a reproductive strategy ( im really stretching and exaggerating to make a point)
Being compassionate has its time and place, specifically when dealing with people, but let's not loose track of what their shenanigans are really about .
Nothing personal but If you strongly disagree about that being the very core of issue of we are discussing, you don't understand the straightforward nature of men
Yes the pressure of modern society is a heavy weight for men, In a similar way that women compete with plastic surgery barbies .
But that is an adittional factor, not the core
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You did the elaborate analysis. I boiled it down to the very essence. Both are valid. It's not being reductionistic or condescending. It is accurate and the words are carefully chosen
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Aka insecure horny frustrated men making noise
edit: add to that the psyches tendency for forming ideologies
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@aurum that is definitely a part of it but I'd argue the core of "creepiness" is poor understanding, misunderstanding and misinterpretation of social dynamics aka bad social skills. You can think you're being respectful but much of socialization is intention vs perception
Not understanding social norms ( they depend on culture/context, not knowing how to " read the room" ), lack of self awareness ( how do you potentially come across to people, not understanding physical communication ( cues of discomfort, lack of reciprocity , consent , poor calibration, not understanding boundaries...) poor emotional intelligence
So given the crucial role of social skills throughout evolution, back then but also nowadays if women sense a serious degree of any of this, it will feel creepy, not only because they personally don't feel comfortable but because their genetics pull the kill switch on any potential attraction BY DESIGN , and scream " don't have offspring with this man!! , the child will have bad social skills !!
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On 3/4/2024 at 3:59 AM, Emerald said:That said, regarding size of a woman, studies have shown the attraction changes based on economic factors. They gathered a bunch of data on it, that I read about some years ago. (It also changes for men).
So, it isn't likely to be the pregnancy suspicion thing.
Attraction ques are hardwired over hundreds of thousands of years if not millions of years. It's the wise software that maximizes the chance that your genes go on. Modern humans are roughly only 200.000 years old .
Economic factors are a very modern variable. It definitely can be a factor but most likely attraction to bigger women is more linked to ethnicity ( some races tend to be more chubby ) or your genetic background : "was storing body fat a proven effective survival strategy for your ancestors? then you will find females that store body fat attractive "
Being pregnant is absolutely for sure an attraction killer for new partners, period. It's crystal clear from a male POV. It's almost the same non-existant degree of attraction as if you were thinking of having sex with a relative.Unless they are your partner, or they have some sort of fetish, or unless there is absolutely zero downside for the intercourse happening, chasing that woman to make anything happen will not cross your mind . (ofc there are exceptions )
Female's risk of sex ( evolutionary speaking ) is DEADLY. Getting pregnant at the wrong time or without a social support structure is the end of you ( a social support structure is extremely important during pregnancy, thats one of the big reasons why women are more social, calibrated, empathic, caring... )Male's risk of sex ( evolutionary speaking) is not pregnancy, but getting your head smashed with a rock by a gang of males for having sex with a protected / taken woman. ( Which is actually one of the big reasons why approach anxiety exists for men )
So sex with a possibly pregnant woman is shooting yourself in the foot . Not effective at all from an evolutionary POV. You can possibly die and your genes wont even be forwarded. ( fun fact : this is one of the theories of why auto-erotic asfixiation even exists . " one last ejaculation before death" )
But yeah different people have slightly different preferences. Some preferences have an evolutionary background and some preferences have been developed and shaped thoughout their current lifetimes . Most men have a notoriously low standard anyways -
@Princess Arabia Creepiness comes in a degree. From poor eye contact to borderline sexual assault
@nhoktinvt learning game is creepy AF. But not learning game is even more creepy. Hence that video
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On 19/2/2024 at 10:17 AM, mmKay said:This one I found to be the most interesting. And it's the exception to the rule:
- Beautiful face , smile, teeth.
A symetrical Golden Ratio face doesn't provide much raw survival value or information about fertility. The value of a symmetrical face is a strange loop. It's valuable because we value it.
Beauty is slippery. We love the golden ratio. Beauty is valuable because we value beauty. But a pretty face by itself is not enough of an attraction cue as you may have noticed.
Wikipedia has a decent take on this. Read with discernment as some takes are simply wrong
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Physical_attractiveness -
This may be BS , but aparently people with light colored eyes like blue or green can see better in the dark. Some animals like cats have a genetic mutation that allows for better night vision. It's called Tapetum Lucidum. It's the reason why Cat's eyes glow in the dark
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Creepy dude at gas station. 4:45
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The fux did I just watch. How does no one notice it's a dude. The end is hilarious though.
So many creeps
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The purpose of this thread is to further build upon Leo's blog post. Use those guidelines for posting
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@Asia P do It.
I was skeptical of the idea at the beginning but I've met a few girls that told me LITERALLY the exact same story you are sharing .
Apparently some brains are wired to be less jealous ( or they managed to mentally rewire their jealously and not get triggered by it) and open for polyamourousness.
I thought that once you start having sex with different people the relationship will crumble but apparently these people are so above the baseline emotional intelligence that they can really handle it
You've also hit the jackpot with your X guy. If he's willing to open the relationship up, you're free to explore.
You will meet more Y's later in your life
Usually an open relationship has to be an expectation you set from the very beginning. Because if you start exclusive and later you want to go non-exclusive, there is a perception of " losing the exclusiveness". You don't have this perception of losing anything if you start with the expectation of polyamourousness
Your communication with X seems to be very good and he seems to be open and serious about the idea. This can definitely work, at least short to mid term, if your emotional intelligence is high, and he sees your joy and pleasure as his joy and pleasure and vice versa. This is the way one of the girls explained her open relationship to me. They would come back from their other partners excited to share every that happened and they enjoyed. Pretty remarkable relationship and emotional skills.
Men are more open to the idea of open relationships overall because it benefits their reproductive biological reproductive strategy of impregnating as many women as possible
Also you are extremely young and inexperienced. You have a very long time to experiment around. And the best time is likely now.
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The only time ever I've heard him saying anything along these lines is in the context of grifters like Andrew Tate and Trump, saying that no matter what they do or change such people don't change and stay grifters and con men
It would take an extremely close call near death experience or psychedelic breakthrough for them to change that aspect of themselves, and even then it's unlikely
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I don't want to gaslight you but I don't think he said that, or it taken out of context.
The only constant in life is that nothing is constant
Personality is fluid to some degree. Your brain is physically wired to be a certain way within the lines of certain parameters
Genes have different expressions in different circumstances.
Even your body pretty much absolutely recycles itself in about 8 years.
Change is definitely possible, but the psyche is very stubborn and conservative for a good reason. It is for your own safety. Appreciate it.
It's basically so that you don't start believing some whacky things too quickly.
Change can happen. But It has to be gradual, consistent and slow . Repetition and proof is the language of the subconscious mind
in Personal Development -- [Main]
Posted · Edited by mmKay
https://www.actualized.org/insights/wikipedia-emotions
I just wanted to add that ChatGPT is amazing at helping you logically differentiate between different emotions. Many diferentces are subdle but important for your emotional vocabulary.
Of course, the most accurate understanding comes from direct experience and personal contemplation, but a theoretical background helps a lot
Feel free to share any that are missing on the blog post