electroBeam

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Posts posted by electroBeam

  1. Posted

    Here is an insight I discovered personally for myself. My mind and body doesn't work like everyone's. Its quite different, so this insight may be totally inaccurate for you.

    There are 2 camps in the no fap movement: the ones who say it doesn't work, and the ones who say it does work.

    Its a really heated debate, because both camps believe they are absolutely right. Both camps assume that what they believe is true for everyone. Both camps are incapable of admitting that bodies, minds are different, and for some people nofap is powerful, while is totally true for others that nofap does absolutely nothing.

     

    I've always been in the nofap is bullshit camp, and for me its definitely true. Nofap does absolutely nothing for me. I was doing some body awareness work today and discovered why that might be, and why nofap people actually get lots of value out of nofap.

     

    Within myself, I noticed that fapping (and sex with women) puts you in a state where there is less assertion and dominance and movement in growing kundalini energy, or prana or whatever you want to call it. For me, it puts you into a sedative, peaceful state, like a zen sort of no mind peace. It also reduces your desire to move energy up the spine.

    Growing kundalini energy, or prana energy is definitely useful and powerful, and if your entire spiritual practice relates to working with this energy, nofap would be extremely important. Yet if you mainly use mindfulness and consciousness techniques that don't rely so much on this energy, then nofap would have minor benefits. Working with such energy isn't really necessary or a requirement for contemplation, mindfulness, letting go, etc.

    The other thing I have personally noticed, is you can actually draw in energy without semen retention at all. You can draw in energy purely from consciousness. If you're at a vibrational state where every atom of consciousness is buzzing with bliss, then those atoms of consciousness can draw in energy into your system, and using semen is less required. As a corollary to that, I also feel like where your energy work is focused, greatly affects whether semen retention is super important. For me personally, my energy work is always focused in the forehead region. Yet if I was to do lots of energy work and focus it in the sacral region, semen retention would be more important. If I was to draw energy up from the sacral to the forehead, that would require semen retention, yet if I do (what I normally do) and draw energy from the forehead, then semen retention is less required.

     

    I'd love to have more deeper discussions about the precise mechanics of the energy system on this site in terms of semen retention. I personally don't think semen retention is either necessary or not necessary, but rather depends on the specific approach you're going about energy work, and different systems could cater for the semen retention route vs non semen retention route.

    I've never really resonated with the semen retention route personally. For me specifically, semen retention was like putting loads of focus and effort into a certain type of discipline that had no real empirical basis for effectiveness for me. I couldn't feel exactly how semen retention would benefit me, I didn't feel morally wrong for not doing it, I didn't feel like I was missing out or letting myself down. Infact I always felt like the amount of effort I could put into maintaining semen retention, would much better serve me in actual spiritual practices like kriya yoga or meditation, contemplation, qigong - all of which I got results from without semen retention, even though the books outlined it was necessary.

  2. Posted

    Really Profound Insight

    All Suffering/resistance is an artificially constructed label that isn't true. ALL SUFFERING/RESISTANCE! Hatred, jealousy, judgement, envy, confusion, dysphoria, low self esteem, sadness, depression, mania, dysfunction, addiction, pain, etc. ETC!

    The thing our label is pointing to, is literally growth, expansion, movement towards 'higher', movement towards god, movement towards the divine, etc.

    Suffering/resistance literally does not exist, all that exists is HEALING and GROWTH and MOVEMENT TOWARDS THE DIVINE.

    Resistance from not wanting to clean the house or pick up dogshit is our artificial label/construct of resistance or suffering or pain + expansion/growth/movement towards the divine.

    The label of "resistance" or "suffering" or "pain" is problematic, because it contains the expansion. Like a balloon that you're blowing air into. The feeling that the label "suffering" points to gets more and more intense, as the labels keep it from expanding. That's why the more you resist cleaning dogshit, the more "suffering" you go through.

    Let go of the labels of pain, suffering, resistance, and all of its little minions like jealousy and hatred and addiction. Let them all go completely. As if you don't know what they all mean anymore. And feel what those things are pointing to directly. Because that feeling IS NOT suffering. That feeling is growth and expansion. There is no such thing as suffering. There is no such thing as pain. There is no such thing as not healing. There is no such thing as resistance. All there is, is healing/growth.

    And your resistance to cleaning the dogshit, and then you noticing that resistance doesn't exist, and that all there is, is healing, is also healing ;)

    Also... because the universe is infinite, you could let go of stuff forever. Its like zooming into molecules, then you notice atoms, then you notice electrons, then you notice quarks. And when telescopes get more powerful, there will be things in quarks, forever and ever and ever.

    And that's like letting go, you've always go stuff to let go of. Don't let anyone tell ya that there's this almighty thing called "awakening" where you've completely let go over everything. Because there isn't. the concept of awakening is of the same stature as a conspiracy theory. There always more to let go of, forever and ever. Its literally impossible to completely let go of everything, because there's infinite stuff to let go of.

  3. Posted

    26 minutes ago, Loving Radiance said:

    How come? Weren't you appreciative of the play?

    No because my ego was dying hahaha. 

    27 minutes ago, Loving Radiance said:

    What did she report to have felt? (e.g. being full of shit, feeling being imaginary)

    It brought up a massive lie she had been telling herself for decades over a trauma that happened with her father when she was 3. She wasn't ready to hear that lie. It had nothing to do with realising proteins were imaginary even though that was the intention hahaha.

  4. Posted

    I took 50cm of san pedro from a friend of mine who is really good at growing cactuses. His cactuses (to my suprise) are 5x more potent then the cactuses you get on ebay.

    I started tripping and everything got very very one. The present moment was realized to be the entire universe more and more and more.

    Then I started feeling profound love for the entire present moment. I could feel everyone on the earth, and beyond the earth, and I started channeling love to the entire present moment/universe.

    Then it dawned on my that my entire quest for discovering reality was just a game I was playing with myself, and that made me feel played/fooled.

    I reacted a bit negatively to that, my flatmate came in and told me she was looking up proteins and molecules for her school. I told her she was just fooling around, and everything is a game, and stop being so silly. She insisted that I was crazy and that there really was something to the proteins and molecules. Somehow I could see all of her "chakras" and told her "well let me show you how you're full of shit", I focused/concentrated on her form, realized/had a samadhi experience that she was me, then I "injected" realizations of how all of her proteins are imaginary. She started crying heaps. During the trip I just thought this is part of the cosmic play. When I came down, she was still crying and needed a psychologist for a week. Felt pretty back for that.

  6. Posted

    I just had the weirdest experience of my life. Which is never good to say, because consciousness will make sure you have something weirder in the future. I'm wondering if the sleep dream experts can say anything about it to help me get clarification of it.

     

    For the past year (and more intensely past month) I've been having very strange nervous system issues. Very strong paralysis feelings, but according to doctors its all psychological. Sometimes I can't swallow when I want to. about 4 months ago (stopped 3 months ago) every night I woke up fearing that I had forgotten how to breath, and that I was about to suffocate. This fear stopped when it was realized that breathing is an illusion, the universe as a whole is actually cycling energy and that cycling of energy manifests as "breathing". Every lifeform breaths, trees <-> animals cycle is not unique to us, every lifeform does it in a certain way.

    But then I started having the sensation and fear that I would forget how to move my body. Because I don't even know how I'm moving my body. If I don't know, then what if I forget????? :o :o :o :o :o

     

    For the past 6 months, whenever I sleep, I feel massive vibrations of energy all throughout the body. And everything dissolves into white light. Then there will be some typical dreams (not lucid).

    The dreams started to get less and less story like, and the feelings became more prevalent. It was like each dream was a collection of energy going through a purification process, and the story of the dream was just the "smoke" or "side effect" of that purification process. The mind and body just naturally focused on the purification and less of the story.

    I went to bed last night, and when sleeping, I remember the energy of the body getting super duper intense. And something unusual happened that I can't remember. I palmed it off. I woke up at 5am, decided that wasn't enough sleep, so went back to bed at 7:30am.

    Then I had a normal dream, but then I noticed that I was in a dream. Yet, this was not a normal lucid dream. The story dissolved and I was in this black "room" or space. Maybe a void. Then the body energy got very very intense and it was like I was falling/drowning into heaps and heaps of energy. A form of non duality that was never experienced before. Then I started to manifest objects in the dream. I manifested an apple, fries, and started eating them. My flatmate (in the waking state) had woken up in her room, and I knew she woke up. I called to her but couldn't because I was in this black room. Then I wanted to leave this black room, but couldn't figure out how to wake up. There was a bit of dysphoria there, because I wanted to wake up but didn't know how. I felt trapped and paralyzed a bit. It was not like I had a body and was freely moving around this room, it was like I was completely formless, had no body and all I could do was manifest objects. I had no idea on how to wake myself up. Then just by using concentration and consciousness, I woke up from the void and I saw a little bit of my pillow, then one of my friends walked into my room and gave me a cactus - and I knew straight away that this was another dream. Then I tried to wake myself up from that dream(just through concentration) and this was quite dysphoric because there was a bit of sleep paralysis now. I had totally forgotten how to move "my body". Or how to inhabit it, as this pure formlessness. And I was like damn I hope im not stuck like this forever, or the next 2 hours. Then I kept trying out different things (through concentration and pure consciousness) and then boom, I moved my arm, but it didn't move the way I liked, so i had to learn how to move it again. Then I started moving over parts of my body, and it was like jelly, I felt like I was moving my arm, but it wasn't my physical arm, it was a jelly soul form of my arm, and I moved it more and more and SNAP! I opened my eyes and shouted "WOO HOO! I FUCKEN MADE IT!" and that was like 5-10 minutes ago lol.

    This fucken slammed on the head my fear of paralysis. I went full on paralysis and I had to learn how to unparalyze myself. This was the weirdest shit ever. When I was that formlessness, it was a depth of formlessness that I can't replicate on ayahuasca. It was so weird. So bizzare. Ayahuasca is super dualistic and formful compared to this level.

  7. Posted · Edited by electroBeam

    1 hour ago, JonasVE12 said:

    What are your specific symptoms and what have you tried already? 

    I've tried a bunch of natural based detoxes in the past.

    My symptoms:

    1. Lack of focus/ADHD like symptoms.

    2. Short term memory loss and delayed recall of long term memory.

    3. Zoning out too much.

    4. Lack of speed in solving mental based problems.

    5. Motor control deterioration of coordination.

    6. Failure to initiate start of motor movements/temporary motor control paralysis.

    7. Swallowing paralysis. 

    8. Cramps(i take iron and magnesium tablets everyday at the direction of my healthcare practitioner)

    9. Sore joints and ligaments when moving arms and legs.

    Issues have been mild past 1 year, but got worse recently(last 2 weeks).

    25 minutes ago, Michael569 said:

    why not start with polishing your diet, sleep, recovery and exercise routine before you embark on a detox protocol. I recall we talked about this before and that there was room for improvement :)

    If none of that helps, then look further but make sure you are not missing anything obvious such as being deficient in calories, protein, iron, glucose etc

    Yep been working with a natural health professional for the past month on those issues. Its as far as I can go with them. My brain fog, ADHD, motor control impairment and lack of focus are caused by things beyond the basics. My health professional wants to put me on natural based detoxes, yet I've tried the very ones in the past(without a professional, just following it myself) with no real results and just frustration. 

    Im not super excited by the idea of using a dye for radioactivity to solve health issues, yet I feel cornered to give it a shot as the natural methods arent powerful/effective enough.

  8. Posted

    Hey guys, few questions over a DMSA/ALA detox:

    1. I have been storing DMSA/ALA at room temperature for the past 3 months or so. Which is 10 degrees celsius to 35 degrees celsius (50F to 95F). I just saw that the packaging said to store the tablets below 25 degrees celsius (77F). I've just put them in the fridge yet they haven't been stored below 25 degrees celsius. 
    2. I unwrapped the packaging of the ALA(not DMSA) to see what was inside. I noticed that there is a large oxygen absorber. I've had these tablets unsealed (with the lid on) for the past 3-4 months.

    Considering 1 and 2, is it safe for me to do a heavy metal detox with them?

    Furthermore:

    a) I'm not even sure if heavy metals are the cause of my problems. I have a huge intuition that detoxing rather than food is gonna provide me with deep health benefits, but I'm not hugely in love with the idea of heavy metal detoxing. I'm also getting urges to try ancient shamanic detox protocols too and not necessarily heavy metals(but also not against it). How do I test the detox to see if it provides benefits without getting too deep into it? My body has been behaving super weirdly for the past 4 months(symptoms of degenerative nervous system diseases) and I'd love to be able to test to see if I get more fucked up before its too late. Did Andy Cutler mention that in his book and I just overlooked it?

    b) What's the go with taking psychedelics along with ALA and DMSA. I'm aware that SSRI's and psychedelics are BAD(have no idea why), are ALA and DMSA in the same category? The psyches I usually take every couple of months or so is syrian rue (RIMA inhibitor) and DMT.

    Thanks for the feedback guys! Really appreciate it!

  9. Posted

    10 minutes ago, Travelion said:

    I usually don't experience existential anxieties. I'm sure some of you know the short story "The Egg" by Andy Weir. It's about reincarnation and eternity. Since I watched the animated version from kurzgesagt, I now feel some sort of existential anxiety when I think about immortality or eternity. It is just overwhelming.

    Inspect whether the beautiful, wonderful, estatic feeling of being overwhelmed is being negatively tainted/distorted by a projection of a story being layered on top of that beautiful overwhelming feeling. and whether dropping the story will remove the anxiety and just leave you with feeling overwhelmed. 

  10. Posted

    @Eren Eeager awesome!

    3 minutes ago, Eren Eeager said:

    @electroBeam  IT was like I am burning in every inch in my body. But I didn't experience any ego death effect, weird, making me question if there was like legit ego death or I am fucking enlightened since the beginning, wtf ? But there was this small incidence in which I felt the ego trying to recollect and then it burned like a shadow facing the light. 

    Sounds to me like during the trip you dropped every thought story and resorted to just being. :)

  12. Posted

    20 minutes ago, Someone here said:

    The way that leads to happiness IS the way that leads to truth.

    Spot on man

    21 minutes ago, Someone here said:

    I identify as one of those. Maybe it's something about how the brains are wired differently. Ya know people have different genuine interests etc 

    And that's why my perspective is limited. I'm talking on behalf of people who have to work hard at awakening. Those that have to work less hard wouldn't have the same experiences as me IMO.

  14. Posted

    On 12/21/2020 at 6:43 AM, SirVladimir said:

    The beginner is the furthest on the path
    in-it, wonderstruck, free of a seeker wrath's
    for instead of the wise man's words
    he admires the woke-as-fuck birds.

    The beginner is an enlightened comedian
    laughing at the walls of Plato's cave
    "God is nothing but Life, a bohemian
    Knowledge is a master -- I'm not her puppet nor her slave."

    The beginner travels the land, starry-eyed
    in awe of Life's wonders gawking like a child
    he trudges in the Home he has never left
    for Love has always had his back.

    "You have never fooled me," proclaims he to Knowledge,
    "I am God, I am the Unknown, and Love is Heart's to forage."

    :x

    Just wanna say absolutely love your poem!

    And chris martin would agree with ya:

     

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RB-RcX5DS5A

  15. Posted

    11 hours ago, Claymoree said:

    This is actually main main objective right now, to find answer to happiness no matter what state you are at, there are so many ways to make yourself happy, but they are just ways, without ways , or reason for ways you are nothing, I am looking for something beyond it, something that is timeless and is not based on altering your experience. 

    Yep :x

  16. Posted

    5 hours ago, Someone here said:

    We are deeply ignorant that's just a fact.

    I mean you really have not a clue what existence is and what  you're doing here. Yet almost 90% of people settle for mediocrity. They don't "like" or "want" to question their experience enough. Even tho they deep down know that they don't know. Is it because we are afraid to admit that we don't know? Maybe it's a function of survival? 

    @electroBeam @Gesundheit would like to hear from you guys! 

    Honestly, the only semi-satisfactory answer I could come up with to that answer over the years was the tolerance for suffering was much higher for those who are more ignorant than those who were less ignorant. I believe people who question reality more and take the path seriously, are more severely affected by suffering then their other counterparts.

    I noticed this in high school. No one wanted to question reality as deeply as me, I was deeply deeply deeply dissatisfied with the idea that there's more that I'm missing and not going for it, almost depressed. People all around me somehow were able to just purely enjoy their life without questioning it. Sometimes enjoying their life, sometimes getting involved in petty fights, yet when I look back at it, I feel like I was more affected by suffering then they were.

    The idea that I'm way better and less ignorant and wiser and cooler then the people around me certainly makes me feel good, but I'm open to the possibility that other people around me were born happier than I was. In this spiritual community, and other communities, there is a significant amount of people who are depressed or with high levels of suffering. I haven't done the maths, but it seems to me that people are disproportionately affected by suffering more in spiritual and psychedelic communities then the average population. You could even make a convincing narrative that the average spiritual person is a "happiness underdog" because they start out less happy then the average population, yet get happier then them over time. This is the average spiritual person though, then you've got outliers who somehow are just geniuses for absolutely no reason whatsoeva. I've got no idea whats the go with those people, and never will.

    This is an unenlghtened perspective, I resonate with Nahm on a level of no thoughts for this particular question.

  17. Posted · Edited by electroBeam

    9 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    I've always run Windows on my Macbook Air. Wouldn't even consider anything else.

    bahahaha. That's the silliest strategy ever. Macbook Airs have VERY overly priced hardware. You could get macbook air specs from hp, dell, lenovo, heck build yourself for 50-75% of the price. The only reason why Macbook Airs are valuable in the first place is because you can't run Mac OS easily on any other computer. So Macbook Air is the way to go for Mac OS. Also The Mac operating system is specifically designed for Mac hardware, the kernels use specialized software to speed up the Mac OS so that it runs faster. This is a common Apple strategy, that's why iphones run way quicker then other phones that have better hardware.

    Windows OS is agnostic, which means it cannot make those hardware optimizations. Macbook Airs only shine with Mac OS. Unless you're willing to forego overly priced hardware and operating system optimizations just for looks.

  18. Posted

    Probably already posted, but just incase it hasn't been:

    Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
    You don't know how lovely you are
    I had to find you, tell you I need you

    Tell you I set you apart
    Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions
    Oh, let's go back to the start

    Running in circles, coming up tails
    Heads on a science apart
    Nobody said it was easy

    It's such a shame for us to part
    Nobody said it was easy
    No one ever said it would be this hard

    Oh, take me back to the start
    I was just guessing at numbers and figures
    Pulling the puzzles apart
    Questions of science, science and progress

    Do not speak as loud as my heart

    But tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
    Oh and I rush to the start
    Running in circles, chasing our tails

    Coming back as we are
    Nobody said it was easy
    Oh, it's such a shame for us to part
    Nobody said it was easy
    No one ever said it would be so hard
    I'm going back to the start
    Oh ooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh
    Ah ooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh
    Oh ooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh
    Oh ooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh

  19. Posted

    3 minutes ago, Dazgwny said:

    @electroBeam I’ve an observation to share with you mate. Your addicted to this forum. You want to just chill out a bit mate. A crazy attachment you have is writing on this forum. Ease up. You’ve some good insights to share I understand that. But I think it’s become an addiction for you. Probably do yourself the world of good to take a break ??

    Thanks for your insight.

    Definitely years ago I've had thoughts about that too, about whether this forum is addictive and a way for the ego to deceive, or whether it isn't. And there's some truth to it.

    Yet writing on this forum helps me practice helping others in written communication, which helps me practice for my life purpose, and that's the primary motivation of why I'm writing so much. My replies are not just my mentally masturbating, I actually spend lots of effort trying to architect the best reply.

    If you are irritated from my replies, you can put me on the ignore list:

    1. click your profile name at the top right

    2. in the dropdown, there is a section called "ignored users", click it.

    3. then there is a text box. Type electroBeam into the text box.

    4. Make sure you check ALL of the options, so that you don't see any of electroBeam's posts, or personal messages.

    Thanks!

  20. Posted

    Public Speaking

    Toastmasters

    Professional courses

    online courses

    sending videos to people in groups that you're interested in on insights or howtos, etc.

    Debating

    Debating groups in university or high school if you're still there.

    debating on forums like the skeptic forum or this one or other forums where its about getting to the bottom of an issue like facebook groups around political issues.

    Join political movements and campaigns. If you're in a western country, try lobbying government or get involved in a group that does - this is really powerful.

  21. Posted

    4 hours ago, snowyowl said:

    Yeah, I've had a sleep and think I get it now. Conditional happiness (ie pleasure) is what we chase after (or run away from unhappiness). Unconditional happiness is, like nirvana, already here, we don't need to go anywhere apart from uncovering it from the layers of our psyche which are obscuring it. Including the seeking which is just another cloak over the naked reality ;) 

    :x

     

    3 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

    Very good, thanks for sharing 

    The mindfuck is that only the illusory self has attachment.

    Awareness just is aware of everything. Attachment is not something awareness has to be concerned with.

    When a sound happens, awareness is aware of the sound. It doesn't matter if awareness "wants" to be aware of the sound. It will automatically be aware of it. So awareness doesn't have free will in this aspect. Is open to anything. Even to the illusory self who seems to be attached to certain things.

    Yep, you're totally right.

    And the mindfuck is, happiness aint located in "mindfuck", "illusory self has attachment", "awareness", "everything", "attachment is not something awareness has to be concerned with", "it doesn't matter", "want", etc.

    Insights and realizations are great, keep having them, but I really liked what Eren Eager said, insights and realizations are even greater when you remember to drop them and come back to just being purely happy at the end of the day. Which is really the essence of meditation. And also can be the essence of a really immersive gym session, or immersive psychedelic trip, or immersive walk in the park. So immersive that your insights and realizations just aren't there. 

    The ego was never there, so all of your suffering didn't come from the ego, it came from You. Powerful realization, that only the illusory self has attachments, yet it wont save you from practically progressing on the spiritual journey, it will just hold you back.

  23. Posted

    11 minutes ago, Eren Eeager said:

    Yeah, I got a sense sometimes here that by talking about all those spiritual insights, that we forget about the most important thing to do to reach those insights and states which is to have a solid a baseline of peace and happiness. 

    Another way of putting it is radical acceptance. When you are accepting for everything that happens you have no fear and you are happy. 

    I personally love that message man! Thanks for sharing! Wouldn't have resonated with it only a few weeks ago.

  25. Posted · Edited by electroBeam

    1 hour ago, Forestluv said:

    There is no apple hovering in front of me. Yet for there to be the non-existence of apple in front of me, there exists the emptiness of that apple. Perhaps I’m not using terms precisely or I’m off base. 

    my feel is that there are multiple layers here: non existence, concept, existence.

    Concept is a subset of existence, along with other layers like material reality, sleep dream reality, psychedelic hallucinations.

    An apple may not have physically manifested as material, but may have physically manifested as a concept or in sleep dream. If the apple is in concept but not in material reality, then relative to material reality, the apple exists as non-existence. Yet this is all occurring within existence.

    An apple though could never occur in non-existence, because non existence does not contain the material, conceptual or sleep dream realms. It contains no realms, pure mu or nothingness.

    For example, its wrong to say a pink elephant existed as non-existence throughout this entire reading, because the elephant just manifested in the concept realm as soon as this paragraph was read. There was literally no pink elephant before. 

    Therefore that non-existence cannot have any manifestation or form in actuality.

    Yet non-existence is much more akin to dementia/amnesia. If you're saying a unicorn does not exist, IME that non existence is happening in existence.