Preety_India

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Posts posted by Preety_India

  1. Posted · Edited by Preety_India

    @QQQ so following are the conditions. 

    - he doesn't get mad if I spend too much time alone (because I'm an introvert) 

    - he doesn't get jealous if I simply talk to other guys (flirting is not a part of this condition, I won't flirt if he doesn't like) 

    - he doesn't get mad if he doesn't receive an immediate reply to his text 

    - he is okay if I go on trips alone 

    - he doesn't expect me to marry him 

    - he is okay if I don't want to be his girlfriend or if I don't call him my boyfriend 

    - him and I meet for sex and emotional intimacy and devote time to each other without expectations of the future 

    - we don't cheat on each other 

    - we don't have sex with anyone else. We are exclusive. 

    - we spend quality time with each other whenever we are mutually available to each other but we don't force one another to spend time 

    - he is dominating in his general demeanor and most everyday  decisions are taken by him and I'm his submissive puppy 

     

  2. Posted

    8 minutes ago, QQQ said:

    You said you don’t want to be submissive, well stop being submissive. Let the other person know your stance and how you feel. What you will find difficult is that you will face rejection on a more frequent basis, and this will be the most difficult thing to accept and integrate.

    Hmm. I think I might have caused some confusion here. Sorry for that. 

    I did not mean to say that I want to stop being submissive. I like and enjoy my submissive side a lot. 

    And I enjoy being dominated. 

    The only thing I don't want is pressure and obligations

    That is, it's fine if I meet a guy who is dominating, it will match and complement my submissive side 

    For example if he dominates me in an argument or preaches me then it's fine. 

    Let's say he decides what restaurant we go to, that's fine too. I will do as he likes. 

    What I don't want - him wanting to be at his beck and call. Him demanding that I marry him or be his girlfriend strictly for a stipulated period of time. All these pressures, commitments and obligations. 

    That's the part I want to omit from the relationship. 

    I only want the substance of the relationship without the strings 

     

  4. Posted

    5 minutes ago, puporing said:

    @Preety_India It's harder with hyper-masculine types, even though they can be alluring, they're often the most possessive and strict about things like marriage, strict monogamy, children, and "ownership" (that's actually alot out of someone if you think about it, unless that's all lining up with what the woman wants too, basically asking someone to give up their life for them).

    Just sharing bit of my experience with that, so you might not get your "ideal" so to speak but there are definitely guys out there who might be open to giving you some sovereignty. 

    I absolutely agree. It's hard to find an ideal person who is not too possessive. 

     

     

  7. Posted

    @Natasha not at all. My father was extremely passive submissive type. He was almost a slave to my mom.  He was extremely loyal, faithful and super caring to me. 

    I was Daddys girl and he was super protective of me, almost spoiled me. I couldn't have asked for a better dad. 

     

    I inherited his submissive behavior. Probably genetically. 

    Both me and my dad had submissive doormat behaviors. 

    He was a doormat to my mother. I was a doormat to my ex boyfriends. 

     

  8. Posted

    @Federico del pueblo it's fine if he is a narcissistic freak, I'm learning to embrace and accept however a person, no care for their mental disorder or their personality flaws, plus I am pretty much used to dealing with narcissists, they aren't as bad as made out to be, lots of people that are way worse than narcissists. 

    The only thing I'm looking for is zero pressure and no obligations/commitment 

     

    As long as these two are accepted, I will be completely fine being around that person and even feel more free. 

    I'm a freedom loving person so I don't want the caged feeling. 

     

     

  9. Posted

    @Federico del pueblo @Razard86

    Oki I'll explain this in detail. 

    So like my second ex boyfriend. He once got me a dress. A black dress

    And I usually never wear black. And I didn't like the dress. I told him that I didn't want to wear it but he kept insisting that I do it for him. 

    I have found this with men that I am never attracted to submissive puppy type men, and I'm usually attracted to the cocky bossy guys because I kinda feel Sexual around them. You know what I mean. 

    But the problem with such guys is that they can be excessively controlling. 

    And I have been tired of serving them and being their submissive gf. 

    I want to experience the Masculinity of a man, especially these cocky guys but without having to be their girlfriend the obligations of being a girlfriend. 

    Like some of these ex boyfriends wanted me to marry them. Like Joseph my ex boyfriend used to pressure me to marry him. So I kinda wanted the relationship or the feel of the relationship but I didn't want to marry him.. 

    I didn't want to marry any of my boyfriends. 

    The problem is that they would pressure me into such obligations and commitments. Like being a gf. Being available on time. 

    Like sometimes I used to come home tired and not wanting to talk or chat and just wanting to sleep and my exes would really get pissed off 

    And there would be days when I didn't feel like talking to them 

     

    Then this whole burden of turning up for dates on time, committing to be their future wife. Committing to marry them when I wasn't sure. 

    Sometimes they would get incredibly jealous if I was talking to some other guy. So there was that. Dealing with their jealousy. 

    So I guess I just wanted to experience some happiness with a guy without all the TORTURE. 

    You know what I mean now

     

     

  10. Posted

    2 minutes ago, Federico del pueblo said:

    like having a guy who is your submissive puppy

    I'd rather be his submissive puppy minus the obligation.. 

    For me the pressure of a relationship was always a problem. 

    I don't want the stress and pressure of having to do something for my boyfriend. 

    They would always pressure me to do things that weren't in my wish. 

    And I was always easily dominated. Because I'm naturally the submissive one. 

     

    So I'm looking for a guy who will give me the pleasures of a relationship without excessive domination and pressure. 

    Even if he is dominating, it's fine but I don't want the pressures. 

     

  14. Posted · Edited by Preety_India

     

    My third boyfriend Joseph 

    March 13 2020

    It was Friday the 13th. 

    Joseph asked me to come to America and marry him.. 

    I replied - a loud emphatic no 

    Joseph was furious. 

    He posted this on his Facebook a few moments later - 

    Fuckkkkkkk

    I could sense his anger. 

    This was the 7th time we were breaking up. 

    No way was I going to marry him after whatever happened in last  November. 

     

     

     

  19. Posted · Edited by Preety_India

    I'm trying to contemplate on the subject of evil and good. And after some contemplating, I have come to this realization that pure evil is also pure love. I know this sounds deluded, absurd, controversial. I got this insight yesterday while contemplating that evil cannot be without love in it. 

    Whenever someone commits evil, they develop a strong karmic connection with you. It cannot be otherwise. 

    This has ended my 4 year battle contemplating evil. 

    Evil is just love but in a karmic way. The perpetrator establishes passion (which is the major component of both love and hate), it's like two sides of the same coin but in a paradoxical way. The perpetrator or evil doer establishes passion through evil acts with the victim. They show this passion or love in a warped way. 

    Unjustified karma leads to passion and love. Justified karma doesn't lead to passion and love.. 

    The most dangerous state is Zero Karma. 

    I don't know if I am deluded. 

     

  22. Posted

    In India you will have a lot of scammers. That's like super common. The most common experience for me as an Indian is being scammed. 

    But over time you find people who aren't scammers especially those who are more grounded and simple. 

    India is not a place where you will suffer terribly. Just minor stuff.. 

    Other countries can be much more terrible in terms of safety because they use guns. 

    In India people don't use guns. So you are not gonna be murdered.. 

    You'll be fine if you made friends with some good Indian folks.. 

    Depends on who you connect with. 

    Please don't generalize. 

    Just learn who to connect with and I'm sure you will have a pretty decent experience. 

     

     

  23. Posted · Edited by Preety_India

     

    My third boyfriend Joseph 

    December  2019. 

    In November, I had began to feel like Joseph was acting aloof. I was quickly able to figure out why.. 

    This was the first time I could see Joseph's narcissistic side. 

    He was being a sadistic opportunistic narcissist. 

    Joseph wanted to cut me out of his life. 

    He had found a new job. He thought he could find someone better than me. 

    He wanted to distance himself from me. 

    I could sense it. 

    This was also the first time I began to seek help on the forum regarding this relationship. 

    We broke off during this period. 

    This was my 6th attempt to break off with him. 

    I thought I would never get back with him again. 

    It was November last week and Joseph had gotten into a tense argument with a woman at the program. She had complained to the authorities about Joseph's abusive behavior and they decided to let him go. Joseph lost his job.

    In this state of panic and frustration, he remembered the only one person who always stood by him. Me.

    He began texting me again. And we got back again. 

     

  24. Posted · Edited by Preety_India

     

    My third boyfriend Joseph 

    November 2019. 

    Joseph was evicted again and he began to live in a homeless shelter. They had launched a job program there called farestart, a cooking job. I encouraged Joseph to join it. I was happy for him. The program had a lot of benefits. They would provide free accommodation and free food for those who did well. Joseph could have saved up on his welfare earnings. 

     

  25. Posted

    How can I have Actualized.org in dark mode? 

    I tried fiddling around with this website but don't see any option anywhere! 

    Ahm i changed the setting on my Google Chrome but that only changes the background for Google not for this site. 

    I want Dark mode while reading Actualized.org forum. 

    How can I do that? 

    Any tips?