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Posts posted by Preety_India


    This journal is complete. 


    This is the last entry in my journal. 


    With that said, I close this journal in peace. 

    The next men I met were absolute gentleman and I have nothing bad to say about them. They treated me well and for some unlikely reasons things didn't work. But I absolutely cherish the relationships I had with them.


    They were Marcel and Benton. Marcel treated me like a princess. It helped me get over the trauma somewhat. 


    Benton treated me well and I was very happy with him as long as the relationship lasted. I am still trying to get over him and after meeting Benton I haven't felt like being attracted to any other guy ever since. I just lost attraction for men after him. He is the last guy I fell in love with(after meeting him I don't feel like liking any other guy anymore) and I am not looking to date men anymore. This was it. 






    My third boyfriend Joseph 

    September last week 2020.. 

    Joseph used to never be this cold towards me. Something was off. If we fought we really fought bad. 

    He said to me - I love you but this is not working. 

    But he used to say "I love you" only if he wanted to win me back. 

    This time he didn't do anything to win me back. He wasn't trying to make up with me. 

    I was a bit nervous and upset. Constantly waiting for something from him. Some closure. Nothing. No reasons given. 

    Other than just that he loves me. 

    Then one day I scrolled through his Facebook and saw that he had been interacting with some girl. 

    I saw that these interactions went back as far as the early days of August. 

    I confronted Joseph on this. 

    What was all this about? 

    Joseph told me that he had been cheating on me with this girl since the past few months. 

    That broke my heart. I never expected that. 

    I told Joseph that cheating was the last thing I could take. 

    I told him that I was never going to take him back.. Joseph said "I still love you Babloo." 

    And I said 'no Joseph no. I can't. "

    It was over at last.. 




    • Falling for scandalous gurus and their manipulation 
    • Trying supplements that don't work or are risky 
    • Trying unknown psychedelics and suffering loss of cognition 
    • Trying psychedelics without reading safety warnings 
    • Not able to connect with reality after following solipsism shit 
    • Hero worshipping gurus to the point of blindness. 


    • Guilt tripping normies 
    • Spiritual bypassing 
    • Spiritual dick measuring contest - "I'm more spiritual than you" 
    • Not using spirituality to increase love for others, but only boosting one's own ego, flexing. Not using spirituality in a practical sense 
    • Making mockery of core spiritual teachings 
    • Starting unnecessary fights with other spiritual seekers 
    • Going on and on about neo advaita without being logical 



    My third boyfriend Joseph 

    September last week 2020

    For the next 5 days, I kept wondering what must have gone wrong between us. I hadn't had a clue. Why was Joseph acting so aloof and weird? 

    Joseph and I had fought endless times. 

    But it was never this way. This was out of left field. 

    Whenever we fought, it was always a lot of back and forth bickering and spontaneous fighting. He would say a ton of mean things. Usually he would cuss me out with abusive stuff. I would say mean things to trigger him 

    This time nothing like that happened

    Joseph would normally try to win me back. He would be silent for a day or two and then make up with me. Usually he would start with some unrelated subject and try to get back with me. 

    This time he did nothing. 

    He said something like - I love you but this is not working. 

    There was a certain kind of finality to his tone.

    I was increasingly nervous. 



    My third boyfriend Joseph 

    September 2020

    So it was September 25,2020 

    I was chatting with Joseph. 

    And then..... 

    I receive a vulgar lewd text message from a guy on Facebook. 

    I told Joseph about it. I was extremely upset. Nervous. Feeling overwhelmed by the sexual harassment. 

    Then Joseph confronted that guy.. 

    I was sobbing. I had been sobbing quietly for almost 2 hours.. 

    Then Joseph began to act weird. 

    He started blaming me for the sexual harassment. 

    I was completely taken by surprise and a bit upset. 

    Then he suddenly texted me 

    "we are done. It's over." 

    I was extremely upset and I began to cry again. I could not understand what was going on. 


  5. 6 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

    @Preety_India i know answer for myself but wanna see other perspective what does man get from her being dependent on him why do you think man needs dependcy from her?

    The man has to be somewhat narcissistic. This means he wants authority and control in the relationship. Most dominating guys would want this. This means they would not necessarily be codependent themselves. But they would love a partner who wants to depend on them, whether financially or emotionally or both. This gives the guy a sense of control over their partner, the feeling that they hold control over their partner makes them feel good or in ownership of the partner. They admire this dependency, they want to be the provider of their partner's needs, they want to feel like the partner is helpless without them, giving them this sense of power.