billiesimon

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Posts posted by billiesimon

  1. Posted

    30 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

    This year.

    My main episodes will focus on more earthly practical stuff, and my deepest metaphysical teachings are all being rolled into the course because that stuff is highly specialized and has niche appeal, and people tend to misuse it. 

    1) It will not undermine the core of what I understand about Consciousness. I'm very solid on that now.

    2) The course will be showing you how derive your own answers. It is not about me giving you all the answers.

    3) I can always release corrections if need be.

    4) Yes, I expect to have even deeper awakenings in the future, but what I already understand is more than enough for most people, and more than almosr any other spiritual teaching has given you. Spiritual teachings are limited. Don't expect perfection.

    Got it, thanks ?

  2. Posted · Edited by billiesimon

    2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    Yes, I have been working on that course last week.

    Once that is released I can stop trying to explain this stuff here. It will be the answer to all spiritual questions.

    Nice :)

    But what would happen should you discover a crazier deeper level of awakening years after releasing the course?

    I think this is quite possible, since you keep mentioning that awakening gets infinitely deeper and deeper.

  3. Posted · Edited by billiesimon

    8 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

    Be careful with your sampling bias. Plenty of girls don't have many partners, you just don't care about that because it doesn't fit your narrative.

    Ok, I might have a flawed small sampling. But I do not have a narrative, this was not a redpill or other negative BS argument. I have just noticed that they tend to be impulsive with sex, it's not a sexist belief. I might be wrong in my sampling. I'm still pro-feminism though. 

  4. Posted

    23 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    2) Casual sex is not beneficial to the survival of most women. So no, don't expect casual sex to be too widespread. Women who have lots of casual sex will end up hurt and worse off in many cases. Which is why it's frowned upon traditionally. Sex will always be a dangerous activity. So you cannot just treat it casually.

    It might be dangerous, but from what I see going on in social circles, women tend to have huge amounts of casual sex. Way more than men. Yes, they also tend to look for someone stable, but before that they definitely engage in massive amounts of random and even dangerous sex. So, I don't agree at all. I think that the feminine benefits from casual sex because it's a way of maximizing her peak sexual age by having lots of sexual encounters.

    This is not judging, I'm very progressive minded. It's just something I observed. 

    Yes, they risk more than men, yet they still act on the instincts, especially in the 18-25 age range they are very impulsive on sex (of course there are exceptions!).

  5. Posted

    1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

    Properly speaking, spirituality is the pursuit of God. Any suffering along that way is just a sideshow. It is irrelevant when it comes to connecting with God. What you really want isn't to end suffering, it's to connect with God. Generally speaking, as a byproduct of connecting to God, you will suffer less and experience more joy.

    What I don't understand is the relationship between high states of consciousness and suffering.

    In my experience, both sober and psychedelic, higher states deeply reduce suffering. The reason why this happens is because you stop interpreting pain as negative, and start to feel it as a neutral expression of being, just like sleepiness, excitement, an ithc on the skin etc....

    I hope I'm getting the point across. I have experienced it at least 5-6 times, and it also makes sense using traditional reason: if you stop discriminating, even subconsciously, between all sensations, pain becomes non-suffering. The only point of suffering is the ego-agenda. It has no other purpose.

    So, what I'm asking is: shouldn't a DIRECT consciousness of God, in the present moment I mean, erase all survival agendas, thus erase suffering? I don't mean permanently, I mean as long as you remain in a deep state. Do you agree?

  7. Posted

    5 hours ago, Display_Name said:

    It's a garbage test.

    For instance:

    "Women exaggerate their problems in society."

    If I'm of the opinion that everyone exaggerates their problems in society - both men and women - I would have to answer logically with yes, and it will be ranked as hostile sexist despite neutrality.

    Yes, it's the most random and casual type of test. Not really worth it.

  9. Posted · Edited by billiesimon

    9 hours ago, Emerald said:

     

    No problem, I leave the debate because I was not looking for a debate :) I was just reinforcing your valid points with the deepest level, since it has happened in my direct experience.

    I literally mean that several glimpses of awakening have completely dissolved any form of sexism or bias in me about gender. So yes, it has had a huge practical impact on my life.

    I agree that nonduality is not for everyone on this planet.

    I was not arguing with you, just adding a valid and TRUTHFUL point that I have found very valuable.

    Truth is Truth. Even if it's not practical.

    Practicality is a byproduct of ego, it is not Truth.

    The truth is that women and men are just consciousness and they should be treated equally, so are poor and rich, western and non western.

    This truth is total and eternal, no amount of pragmatism will erase it, because pragmatism is in the Mind.

    I like your posts and support them :P Cheers

  10. Posted

    34 minutes ago, Emerald said:

    Reaching for top-shelf spiritual truths is not an efficacious paradigm for issues dealing with the practicalities of human rights and equality.

    You can tell an enslaved American black person in 1782 dealing with the daily sufferings of Chattel slavery who have had their spouse and all their children sold to different slave masters last week that they’ve always been equal.

    And in the absolute, it’s true.

    But in the relative situation it’s not a helpful or kind perspective because it just encourages spiritual bypassing of a very real issue of injustice.

    And it uses a top shelf truth to invalidate a bottom shelf truth. Watch the spiritual ego because it can use the truth to lie to itself.

    And it’s very easy for a complacent white person to come along and give such ‘sagely’ advice from the safety of their non-enslaved state.

    I bring this into a more extreme example to illustrate how unhelpful spiritual bypassing is.

    And while ego is certainly a foundational element to this male superior/ female inferior dynamic, it’s not equivalent on both sides.

    Women as a whole are much less likely to construct male inferiority narratives than men are to construct female inferiority narratives.

    In fact, a more common occurrence is for women to construct female inferiority narratives that they exempt themselves from as being “not like the other girls.” I used to do this myself as a little girl.

    And it’s common for women to try to bond with men and compete with other women through these female inferiority narratives.

    And the reason for this dynamic is because the collective ego is still very anti-feminine in its biases.

    I sense that you're projecting or misunderstanding my words, which can happen sometimes.

    I agree with basically everything you have written in this thread. I'm much more progressive than you, I'm even a marxist and a radical egalitarian.

    You are probably projecting onto me the classical rational guy who wants to keep the status quo, the classical political centrist who says "women are ok, they are good, but stop talking about it bla bla" :D

    No, completely agree with all you've said on this topic, and to be honest there are way deeper dynamics than those.

     

    My point was another.

    I was just completely validating your analisys by going directly to the core of the problem.

    Feminism is mental gymnastics.

    Traditionalism, machism, patriarchy, is all mental gymnastics.

    If people sensed what I have sensed several times (which is the foolish illusion of sex, gender, equality etc) the world would be a society of all equals, on all levels. Not even economic differences.

    It's that radical.

    I completely agree that we need to discuss gender equality, I have done my fair share of propaganda for progress. I still do.

    But the Truth remains that there is no reason to treat humans as unequal :D

    The only reason slavery and exploitment happen is because they are asleep.

    I'm NOT justifying a world of inequality.

    I am JUST saying that this world ACTS unequal because it is deeply ignorant and asleep.

    That's it. I'm not doing any zen devilry.... that's your projection :)

     

    I'm basically just saying that women and men have gender issues only because they believe in that gender identity.

    "Women and men" creates the problem, you are trying to solve the UNSOLVABLE. Because it's rooted in ignorance.

    I'm being really really radical, to the point of sounding cultish. But you can experience it. I have experience my sex being nothing.

    I have become deeply conscious, several times, that my sex does not exist. Nor yours.

    If humanity is so deeply identified in men and women, there will ALWAYS be problems between them. 

     

    Always. (but still, let's keep fighting for equality)

  11. Posted · Edited by billiesimon

    On 19/2/2023 at 5:09 PM, Emerald said:

    And it soothes the soul sickness of men who feel shame and powerlessness by constructing a reassuring narrative where they are better and more powerful just by virtue of being male.

    Well, yes, but this dynamic is essentially rooted in metaphysics. The ego is based on separation from other forms, and thus it seeks to find the higher ground, both physically and mentally.

    This is not just a male dynamic (of course men do it a lot) but also a female dynamic. 

    Male-female is just ego. You are not female. I am not male.

    It's just identity. The ego feels inferior. Period. Female egos feel inferior. Male egos feel inferior. Neutral egos feel inferior.

    End of the story.

    (of course I'm a progressive, and pro equality, but equality is just a construct the ego. everything is ALREADY equal, women have always been equal to men, because woman is not a real thing, nor are men....)

    Sorry for the pedantic approach but I like to view this topic from the highest perspective xD

  13. Posted

    14 hours ago, Vincent S said:

    Such a beautiful trip. Reminded my about my journey and experience with DMT. Such a beautiful substance. I love DMT and 5MEO so much. They are really for me, the best tools in life.

    Thanks for sharing and go enjoy yourself . 

    Thanks to you ??

    Did you have life changing trips with 5-meo-dmt? I mean practical implications from the trip. 

    I'm still very scared to try it out. 

  14. Posted · Edited by billiesimon

    I finally did it, I finally had my first DMT experience!

    I've been waiting for this moment for two years, and finally found it.

    The experience was the exact opposite of what I expected.

    This trip was ALL about rooting, grounding, reconnecting with motivation for life, rekindling that passion for matter, for flesh and bones.

    I was expecting a very lofty and nondual trip, but DMT didn't give me what I wanted, it gave me what I NEEDED THE MOST. Grounding into my best possible life.

    I have tried several psychedelics, received huge benefits from them, also gone to therapy for two years and changed my psyche into a healthier and more balanced version, recovering almost entirely from depression and anxiety, but....

    DMT has accomplished what no amount of therapy or LSD (or other psychs) could never accomplish:

    It gave me back my SPIRITUAL CONNECTION TO LIFE AND MATTER, a love for life I've never had in the past.

    Maybe the most incredible part is that the trip itself was not the peak of the experience. The peak was my walk through the riverside where I received so many insights into life and felt such a powerful love for the human experience.

     

    Setting: in my car for the actual trip, walking along the riverside for the afterglow
    Dose: 10-12 mg (my scale is not that accurate)
    It was definitely a light trip, no visuals, no time distortion, no mystical states, just everyday life and LOTS of powerful emotions
    Duration: 15 mins trip, 2 hours of very intense afterglow rich of insights

     

    I don't even know where to start. Words fail me. It was too much, even though the experience was completely ordinary, it was SO SHOCKINGLY PROFOUND at the same time. 
    Perceptions were the same old ones, but the emotions that this trip evoked in me were out of this world.

    Love for life, love for my humanity, love for matter, love for this limited flawed experience, love and gratitude for having so much to live here and now.

    THE TRIP ITSELF
    The trip was just me, in my car, with ordinary reality and ordinary perceptions, realizing just how scared of life and of living fully I am.

    That's it.

    I cried a lot, I sighed a lot, It felt so good, I was letting it all out.

    It's ok, I am scared of life, I've been hurt, I have felt lost for so long (it's important to say that my life is getting better and better in the recent years, but this trip just revealed to me how deeply scared and damaged I've been my whole life and how I'm still scared and weak even after all the progress).

    I want to be free to connect with people, I want to be free to love others, I want to be free to be real, authentic, to be open-hearted.

    Lots of tears, mixed with the joy of feeling pure, feeling DEEPLY alive, once again. I thought I had regained my liveliness in the recent years, which is true, but this was a NEW LEVEL of life-passion, a new sparkle of fire, a purer kind of light.

     

    THE AFTERGLOW (2 hours)

    I went for a long walk along the river, where I saw people talking, people with their dogs, birds, the clear mirroring water, and cried a lot, sometimes of compassion for myself, sometimes of love and gratitude for being inside this human experience, gratitude for recognizing the gift of life itself.

    It was spirituality getting back to the Earth, to the roots.

    Here are the insights I got, most of them are covered in tears and sighs:

     

    1. I was getting lost in the heavens. Too much spiritual seeking of the nondual states, especially sober. This made me detached from the earth and from the gift of life. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT INSIGHT, and mother to all others. I expected a trip into the sky, but I was instead sent deep into the earth, to regain connection with material life and its spiritual dimension.

    2. Material life is spiritual. I was creating a sneaky duality where only meditative and self-inquiring states were becoming "the serious way to live". I was sooooo wrong!!! Earth is spirit. Blood is spirit. Pain is spirit. Flesh and bones are spirit. I was escaping into nonduality, creating some sort of dissociation from life.

    3. The small things are the great things. Seeing those people with their dogs made me cry. I never realized how much light and wonder there is in these ordinary everyday situations. I deeply felt the magic of these people going out with the dog they loved and cared for. Life is full of experience, and experience is a gift.

    4. Stop littering. I have always been a pro-ecology person, but recently I have started littering unconsciously because of some kind of frustration. I realized how much love and care I can show to life and to the absolute by just CARING about my Earth. By keeping these tissues and papers for myself to throw in a bin after is a sign of spiritual love for this place. This place has been given to me by God. I am not going to litter anymore.

    5. Stop being so cautious around people. Life is meant to be messy and to be both a challenging and pleasant experience. You will be safe, but you need to be more vulnerable and open to people. You can choose to be less introverted and connect with new people. In fact I realized how much I want new connections and new friends, and how my fear is getting in the way of my desires.

    6. Life is all about desire and passion. Life is also about awakening, but you CAN NOT use awakening as a dissociating tool to reduce pain from life. Pain is spirit. Suffering is spirit. You cannot avoid the messiness of life and awaken. So the insight repeats: get back to the roots, get back into the dirt and you will find spirit there.

    7. You have moved towards the sky a bit too much recently. Move towards the earth. New levels of the awakening path will await you there, downwards, not upwards. You cannot grow your branches up in the sky if you are not growing your roots, or you will dissociate from life or even become psychotic. Be wise.

    8. Fear is spirit. But don't let fear become an excuse. Fear is spirit, meaning that fear is a phenomenon of spirit, it appears in the spirit, but it is not a real ostacle to living life fully. Learn from it, don't get mesmerized by it.

    9. Do not fear to love people deeply. Yes, you will get hurt again. It will benefit you, you are more awake now (not awakened, but just more awake than in the past), and you can grow and benefit from heartbreak. It will not damage you anymore. Living fully is feeling passions fully. This is how God meant it to be.

    10. God is below. Not really above. It's a delusion of religion. God is in the small things.

    11. DMT could not give you a lofty trip because that's not what grows you spiritually. What grows you spiritually is FINDING THE MAGIC IN LIFE, finding that LOVE IN CRUDE MATTER. The dirty raw soil you hold in your hands IS GOD!!!! It's not some lofty fantastical idea of being in pure bliss and light. Realize how much love and wonder there is in this raw chaotic and imperfect soil. It vibrates with passion for itself. DMT had to show you this, because spirituality is all about loving what is, not loving what you expect to be.

     

    I want to share this raw imperfect and impulsive poem, because that's something REAL I've felt, It's messy and intense, as life it's meant to be. As God wants it to be.


    Earth or heaven
    It doesn't matter
    Where you look for it
    God is found
    In Earth full of bones
    Leave the sky
    Drop your hopes
    Just feel it here
    It runs in you
    The pulse of blood
    The scorching sun
    The freezing air
    A cry of despair
    A tear of hope
    All of this just is
    The breath of God

    Do not seek elsewhere
    Just dive through
    The shades of life

    ❤️❤️❤️

    Thanks DMT. I will come back.

  15. Posted

    6 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    NO! NO! NO!

    There is no date. You will never die.

    You are dreaming. There is no future.

    Forget about tomorrow. It never comes.

    You are talking about the true self, or God self. He is talking about our human form/ego.

    How does the ego die in practical terms?

    It's IMPOSSIBLE to remain forever in this limited form.

  17. Posted

    16 hours ago, Michal__ said:

    Yeah, I love that feeling too. I've always wondered whether people who complain about it making them paranoid and having bad experiences are just bad at interpreting this state.

    I feel you might be right. The classic paranoid state is just the psychedelic effect of THC slamming your fears and anxieties in your face to heal them. One of the first times I tried it I encountered a deep fear of losing the people I love, and I surrendered and entered a deep meditative state where I released part of that fear and found some peace in acceptance.

    Weed can be really powerful but you should not resist the paranoia.

  18. Posted

    39 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

    I don't go by strain or dose. Any THC will do. Smoke till you are too terrified to smoke any more.

    I really feel that last sentence :/

    I'm exploring weed too in these last weeks (never tried it before), and the existential terror it brings is way deeper than normal psychedelics. 

    THC has a really eerie occult feeling that no other psych has, not even salvia. Reality becomes deeply mysterious during these trips, and your fears and anxieties are forced on you to be accepted. 

    I like THC but it's not as pleasant as LSD for example. 

     

  19. Posted

    1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

    You should be careful making fantasies of such people.

    In reality, if there were buses around, he would be careful not to walk in front of them.

    There's little to fear when you live in a cave, once you've adopted that lifestyle. It would actually be a lot more impressive if Maharshi had to run a business and a family. When you live in a cave you got nothing to lose, so little to fear.

    That's true, but what's also true is that he renounced everything he could have built in his life.

    It's really hard to quit everything and start a yogic/sage life like him. It literally means that he threw away everything except his own body.

    I am quite sure that 99.99% of western people would never do that. Ramana certainly was cautious about danger, but he made the hardest choice in terms of lifestyle.

    Imagine a famous actor giving up fame, money, cars, sex etc to become a solitary sage. Impossible.

  20. Posted

    7 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    I have Awoken so profoundly that I opened a portal inside my skull to a colorful Infinite Cartoon landscape full of striped and polka-dotted sentient Alien creatures doing cartwheeels, backflips, and helicoptering around.

    I have Awoken to an Infinite dreamscape of pure fun and Love!

    This sounds like Salvia Divinorum xD

    Using Salvia I was creating some really colorful scenarios in my imagination.

  23. Posted · Edited by billiesimon

    35 minutes ago, Carl-Richard said:

    Yeah. I felt I was going to die for 3 hours straight. I panicked and opened the fridge to grab some liquor, and my visual field was completely flattened and my coordination was way off. It was like my hand didn't have to move to grab the bottle, or like there was no air between me and the fridge. Really strange. Every time I would plan to execute an action, it would take forever to do it. I tried to get something from the food drawer, but I couldn't analyze what I was looking at.

    I guess it didn't help that I hadn't smoked for a year, had meditated daily for 2 years with many samadhi experiences, was on a 3 month streak of nofap, was low blood sugar and a bit hungover from the day before.

    Hahah, yeah, I am pretty sure that these drastic changes in cannabis effects are due to a serious spiritual work. All the reports I've read, similar to my experience, are from people who have gained spiritual progress of some sort. You could say that classic weed is just "unconscious weed".

     

    But I will trip again with it, I will come back :D