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  2. I don't have any relationship experience, but do you love her?
  3. @JessiChell it's ok, take your time 🙂
  4. What do you guys think about it? Ignorance is bliss, etc. Also society brainwashing (f.e House M.D - "When I'm happy, I'm worse diagnostician"). I believed that. Know, after listening to Leo for a long time, I want to believe, that, the more intelligent you are, the happier you are. I wanted to be happy, so I dumbed myself down. I think I just realized that. I want to be smart, intelligent, brilliant, as I naturally am, but I don't want to sacrifice my happiness for that. Is it really one or another?
  5. When a mind explodes, what remains? I can see people can have psychotic breakdowns or a sense of super inflated ego through belief in some distorted versions of Solipsism. But imho, solipsism correctly understood is one of THE most conducive tool to wake up. It is a materialism killer if properly understood. It takes away the stories about creation and stuff; replaces with imagination/instantaneous creation paradigm; which makes a seeker take their actual steps into metaphysics and nature of knowledge. But if it's seen through ego lens, its a disaster/delusion. What do you wanna manipulate yourself into? A fat gay spider with 12 legs aka the most feared thing in world? jk
  6. @dimitri if that's the case, it took at least a month for mine to stop. Logging me off. Ugh.
  7. @Amit Mmmm, I'm not there yet. I'm not ready to forgive him. I can work on forgiving myself in the meantime.
  8. Good decision, don't let your ego decide for you. I've not offered you friendship yet. You have to be worthy for it.
  9. I’ve also been involved with partners that cheated and know the mental and emotional entanglement. What I’ve found helpful is to first get some distance and space from the immediate source. That source is like gravity pulling a mind and body back in. It can take a lot of effort to break free of that suction. This means recognizing and letting go of entanglement such as obsessive “what if” thoughts, checking their social media, rehashing with friends etc. All of this re-enforces mental dynamics and keeps the mind engaged. While in this space, it’s really hard to do deep introspection, have realizations and grow. It’s just too noisy and distractive. What I found helpful is to re-orient myself toward what feels good and what I genuinely want. This can be counter to prior conditioning and patterns. For example, I was conditioned by hyper-critical parents, bosses and partners. I had a pattern of attraction with that, even though it didn’t feel good or like my true nature. Entering non-self-critical spaces felt odd in the beginning since it was counter to my conditioning and patterns of engaging with the world. Yet with time, it began to feel more natural and I started to resonate with people and activities that were not hyper-critical. And my hyper self criticism began to decrease. This opens up space to become friends with myself. And this was one of the biggest keys in leaving my immersion into that other world. This involved activities such as cooking myself healthy meals, self massage, listening to heart-centered nonduality speakers, yoga, spending time in nature and writing. For a while, it felt uncomfortable as my mind was trying to engage in old conditioning and patterns. Yet with time, I started to feel complete with myself. I began to like myself. I began to get curious and felt desires to try new things. I began to be attracted to people and things that were very different than my old patterns. There was a leaving of that world. At times, I found experiencing absorbed negative energy, release and introspection of this conditioning to be helpful. Yet the key was not to engage within it such that I’m re-enforcing and maintaining previous identities. For example, I would talk with a psychologist about it and we would engage in all sorts of thought stories about it. Looking back, we were re-enforcing old stories and identity. I was just trying to replace an old identity I didn’t like (such as being a victim) to a new better identity (like being a survivor). Yet deep down, what I wanted was to release it and be free of it. Free of it. . . I found things like holotropic breathing, EMDR therapy and psychedelics to be helpful since they don’t engage with storytelling and identification. They are focused on release, letting go, unblocking and becoming free. At times, I found contemplation and writing can be helpful, yet not immersed into self re-enforcing and self perpetuating ways. Rather, in self transcendent ways. Yet to do so, I first needed to get distance and space from immersion into conditioned thought stories and patterns.
  10. Where do you get these numbers from? Right now I do 1.5 hours a day. Oh yeah, I do psychedelics quite regularly. At least every 2 weeks.
  12. I'll change exercise to yoga because it's basically the only exercise I do ever, hatha yoga type stuff Yoga ✅ Meditation ✅ Sleep No electronics after midnight ✅ but I woke up too early again?? I fell asleep again though. But then my alarm rang. I think I slept under 7 hours. I'm pretty sleep deprived and everything makes me cry because of that Got a slightly passive aggressive email back. It was an asshole move to quit after the first day. But it's also an asshole move to pay someone 4e an hour for a physically challenging job. I grabbed my phone first thing in the morning instead of doing the sentence completion thing and I blamed myself so much for it. Which is ironic because the exercise enhances self-love. I have such a need to be in control of myself. Half the reason I'm into this self-help stuff is because I feel like I need to control myself. But probably the best self-help thing I could do is let go of that need for control. Which is ironic. Many things seem to be! I kind of want to get my phone out of my room for the night, but I need something with which I can check the time! It could be my alarm clock. But my alarm clock is already on the other side of the room so I have to run to it when it rings in the morning. If it's next to me I'll just fall asleep again immediately after it rings. I guess I need to find some little clock somewhere that I can put next to me
  13. @Amit I do this with health stuff. I post on some health-related things on here in hopes to "help" people but in reality, I think this says more about my unhappiness and lack of love. If I'm helping others (during this time of my life), I'm not working on myself. In fact, I'm probably feeding my ego. So I decided to stop commenting yesterday and just post things when I feel I need answers. (no matter how unattractive/annoying that may be to others) lol but hey, I'm not here to make friends. I view it as my job now to fix myself and that means I need to be honest. I don't care as long as I get answers.
  14. The strategon says you don’t need to control yourself or others, just show up. Life provides everything one could possibly need or dream for.... “Attachment Jutsu!” “Shadow clone jutsu!” Are we seeing these “states” clearly? Do SEE!
  15. The Intercept is also very good. I should read it more.
  16. Watch my tone? Ha. I stand by everything I said. You sidestep with "you are trapped in ideology" when you are trapped in ideology yourself and are in denial about it. You just critiqued Krystal and Sagger without addressing the actual point of the video.
  17. Nothing beats psychedelics 😅 Hahahahaha! But if that works for you then go for it!!
  18. I think this is a bad idea. Of course, it depends on the age difference, but in my opinion this is not normal!
  19. It is coming from a duality perspective, difficult but realise you are him. Accept him and integrate. Sorry if it seems bitter but that's how reality is.
  20. @capriciousduck What do you consider personal development? Your always (hopefully) developing yourself everyday As @Elton said Aim to be able to meditate longer and better I don’t do Yoga, it’s something I need to learn, but your developing yourself via yoga with your capacity to hold a certain pose etc... How much can you lift in comparison to last week, is your form good, endurance etc... How long can you run and how fast etc... Subconcious training, I’m assuming is things like visualisations and affirmation etc... How much did you read? How much of it did you comprehend? etc... Everyday is a day of personal development, and really every second, if your not moving forward your sliding backwards Every moment of everyday should be personal development
  21. @annonnimm32 Wow, you are the first person who has ever had that same mentality. I believe cheating to be rape as well. I am not consenting to sleeping with you if you have coerced me into it. If you're guy and have come to this realization, you are amazing. Right on
  22. @JessiChell @JessiChell You're welcome. Take care. .
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